Afraid of Characters- wait a year?

[Forevryoung]

So I've written before about planning to take my cousin (age 5 at time of trip) to Disney in the late spring/early summer for her first trip. I'm ready to pull my hair out (I don't have kids). She's stubborn and not adventurous at all.

Today, I get a phone call that my cousin will only go to Disney if she doesn't see any characters (same kid refused to go to the circus with me when she was 3 and a half).


Do I wait a year to take her or do I take her and give her time to warm up to the characters? What's the best way to handle this?

I'm quite frustrated with the whole thing, my aunt/uncle won't let me take her out of preschool for 3 days because they pay tuition. But, next year I'll only get school breaks off. However, I have paid vacation time at my current job! Of course, their money is more important. I will be paying 2x what they are losing in school tuition to take her during the busiest times of the year... either right after school ends here in NY (June 26th-July 3rd, HOT!) or during President's week next year.

So, wait till February next year? Go this summer and take our time avoiding every single character (character meals! )? Next February we might still be avoiding the characters... Should I just not take her until she is much older, like 15?

Thanks!

 

[Kacey467]

I don't think the character thing would be a big deal. She might see them from afar, but unless she initiates contact with them (i.e. goes up to them or waits in line for an autograph) she shouldn't have too many issues with it. Unless of course she doesn't even want to see them.

I say wait til next Feb mainly for the readon of crowds and weather. It is sooo miserably hot in the summer. Not to mention packed and more expensive. Wait a year... hopefully she will warm to the idea. And even if she doesn't at least you won't have to wait in lines for hours in 90 something degree weather.

 

[badblackpug]

I agree with the above poster. You can do a perfectly fun vacation without even dealing with the characters. After all, you have to approach them. I would wait until February only to avoid the lines and the heat.

 

[Krissy Marissy]

If you avoid character meals you may go the entire day without seeing one or getting too close! They dont usually just roam around too muc these days, they have a CM or 2 with them and you have to wait in line for a picture. So you can avoid them easily! I would vote like the pp's and say weather in feb will be much better for a 5 yr old than anytime during the summer!

 

[scrapquitler]

My kids would never go near characters when they were small. There is absolutely no reason to postpone a trip because the child doesn't want to see the characters. If you just don't get in the lines to see them, and you don't go to character meals, there is no problem. Its not like the characters are going to walk up to the kids or anything.

 

[Disney 4 Me]

I agree that if you don't do character meals, you shouldn't have a problem with the characters. But President's week is one of the BUSIEST times to go. Many, many school districts are off that entire week. TwirlMania is during that time. Cheerleading, dance and soccer competitions are in Feb as well. It won't be as hot as June/July but the crowds may very well be worse. Just something to think about.

 

[Forevryoung]

I agree that if you don't do character meals, you shouldn't have a problem with the characters. But President's week is one of the BUSIEST times to go. Many, many school districts are off that entire week. TwirlMania is during that time. Cheerleading, dance and soccer competitions are in Feb as well. It won't be as hot as June/July but the crowds may very well be worse. Just something to think about.

Oh I know that one, which is my very reason for avoiding President's week (we have the whole week off). That, and the fact that costs double because it's considered a peak time to go...

I wonder if those president's week crowds are much worse than June 27-July 3rd crowds. I would be willing to fight more crowds for better weather, to an extent!

 

[Disney 4 Me]

Oh I know that one, which is my very reason for avoiding President's week (we have the whole week off). That, and the fact that costs double because it's considered a peak time to go...

I wonder if those president's week crowds are much worse than June 27-July 3rd crowds. I would be willing to fight more crowds for better weather, to an extent!

I guess it depends on what you consider better weather. February is hit or miss, as I bet you know. We've been there in Feb the last two years and the weather has been incredible - hot during the day and not too bad at night. But we also missed cold weather by a week each year.

And here's a picture of my ds in 2007. My DD's nor any of my nieces were ever scared of characters so I wasn't expecting him to be, either. But I was wrong:

He's still not that fond of them. There's no way to know if your cousin will like them any better next year.

 

[NotUrsula]

DS is 11 and still hates characters. He'll walk 50 feet out of his way to avoid an autograph area. Some kids are just like this.

Make it clear to her that she might SEE them from a distance while walking through parks, but that you won't ask her to interact with them in any way. That is usually enough reassurance for most kids. I woudn't put the trip off for this.

 

[ms_missy66]

Don't hold off on the trip because of the character issues. My kids have been four times and seriously dislike them. This time I worked really hard to get character meals reserved (upon their request) and they were all a flop. There were no meltdowns, but there was merely tolerance. Both daughters have requested that on our next trip we do NOT eat with characters other than princesses. To be honest...that doesn't bother me a bit. The food at the character meals typically is pretty bad. They take forever. You're constantly getting interrupted. They won't be missed! So go and have fun! And try to not get frustrated with your niece. You'll have a MUCH better time if you just focus on the things she will have fun doing. I learned that one from experience!

 

[Dismom55]

My daughter was terrified and I do mean TERRIFIED of any kind of character from clowns to McGruff, when in day care they had to seperate her she was so terrified. We do not even have any santa photos of her or her younger brother because of her terror. So I say do not force her to meet with any characters, be on the look out for them and steer the child in the other direction, waiting a year will not be a bad idea, perhaps the child will out grow the terror in that time. My daughter was 9 going on 10 before she finally decided to try meeting a character and the picture you could see she was terrified but determined to get past her fear. Our first trip to WDW was when she was 12 because of her fear. I have horror stories of what would happen when coming across characters unexpectedly in public places.

So, my advice talk to the kid, find out why she does not want to meet characters, if it is fear, respect the fear.

 

[Forevryoung]

Thanks guys, I'm definitely willing to respect the fear- I have my own anxiety issues and I wouldn't want anyone forcing me to conquer any of them without serious drugs first

I think that I'm going to talk to my cousin and my aunt on Sunday and see what they both say. I'm strongly considering either the June trip or waiting a few years to take her (because I'm mad at her parents, not because of the characters ).

She loves the pool and if all else fails I'll be swimming at the resort ALL day for 5 days

I know February weather, I was there in January 2008, it was freezing the first few days and then warmed up. I certainly wished it was much warmer, being so cold wasn't as much fun.

 

[stacy6552]

It kinda sounds like nobody involved with excited about this trip. Why tear your hair out. Go some other time, or dont take her.

 

[Forevryoung]

It kinda sounds like nobody involved with excited about this trip. Why tear your hair out. Go some other time, or dont take her.

That's exactly what I'm doing. My trip is on hold because I am NOT dragging a 5 year old to Disney If her first reaction was "no" and my aunt and uncle aren't going to make it easier on me than it's not worth it.

My mom suggested we take a long weekend just the two of us (she hasn't been in 13 years when I was 12). I have to give her an answer by tomorrow but I think I'm going to splurge and take her up on the offer.

 

[stacy6552]

Yes! Take mom. Much better use of your money, imho.

 

[Dismom55]

That is exactly what I am trying to do, my mom and I have had a rocky relationship, now she is 77 yrs old and things have been better lately, so I decided to celebrate the Mother Daughter relationship and so in September it will be a mother/daughter celebration, my mother of 77 yrs, myself and my daughter age 21, three generations all celebrating the relationship with the mouse.

Oh yes, by the way the 21 yr old is the one who was terrified of characters but loves them now!!

 

[WantToGoNow]

Take mom - atleast she wants to go.

I'm taking a guess that the 5 y/o has never been and does not know what she's missing. My children were both terrified of anything in costumes - Santa, Easter Bunny, Chuck E Cheese, Sports mascots, etc. (ds7 still goes the other way to avoid Churck E Cheese), so when we arrived at Disney on each of their first trips (other than the baby trips at 6 mos and 1 year), I wasn't expecting much. They both loved all of the characters at Disney right from the start.

 

[PHXscuba]

If the 5-year-old is already worked up about going to Disney because of the characters AND the parents are balking at letting you take her, I'd scrap that trip for now. The "magic" you see will not necessarily carry over to her if that's what she'll be thinking about.

You're wonderful for wanting to take her, but it doesn't sound liek the right time for anyone. Go with someone who wants to be there and gently bring up the topic with the cousin in a couple years.

My DD7 would meet Minnie when she was last at DLR at 4.5, but other than that wanted to stay FAR away from the characters. She used to run screaming away from them; now she just gets behind me and doesn't want them coming up to her.

PHXscuba

 

[Forevryoung]

Take mom - atleast she wants to go.

I'm taking a guess that the 5 y/o has never been and does not know what she's missing. My children were both terrified of anything in costumes - Santa, Easter Bunny, Chuck E Cheese, Sports mascots, etc. (ds7 still goes the other way to avoid Churck E Cheese), so when we arrived at Disney on each of their first trips (other than the baby trips at 6 mos and 1 year), I wasn't expecting much. They both loved all of the characters at Disney right from the start.

The 5y/o has "never been. Well, they took her to Disneyland Paris for a few hours 2 years ago. They rode Dumbo and her parents still complain about the line . The 5y/o loves Mickey and Minnie, it was the theme of her birthday party this year and last year she was Minnie for Halloween.

She's never been to Chuck E Cheese and we are Jewish so no close encounters with Santa or the Easter Bunny

I'm taking mom, splurging on the Beach or Yacht Club (it's only a 3 night trip or else it wouldn't be possible) and hopefully showing her the magic!

 

[Dismom55]

With my daughter her terror was so bad, that just being any place where she could see the character was terrifying for her, I have scars where she clawed me trying to get away from a clown in a grocery store that she saw before I saw it and when we were in a mall, during the spring, they had a chicken and duck character at each end of the mall, once she saw the chick, the screaming started, hubby had to grab her and run with her to get her out of the mall, with me pushing the stroller and our purchases hearing her in the distance the whole way, then suddenly the screams intensified even at that far distance I could tell, once I got to the other end of the mall, I discovered the duck character, thus telling me why her screams had intensified. Scared to death that someone would detain my hubby thinking he was kidnapping her. That was our first experience with a terrified child, learned very quickly what the problem was and not to even think for a minute that she would get over it. As the years went by many accidental sightings convinced us she had not over come her fear.

Long story just to say, if they are afraid, respect the fear and let them get past it in their own good time, but out of respect for her fear, we put off the dreamed of Disney trip for many years, until she was 12 yrs old in fact. I just hate to see kids be terrified by something we as adults think is great and can not understand their fear. Yes, there are those who are simply content to hide from the character or give it a wide berth, but my daughter was not one of those and she is not the only one out there. Yes, she finally outgrew her fear, but in her own time.

Not trying to preach, but so many give the impression, take the kids they will get over the fear, when I know in my daughter's case we would have all been misserable and possibly damaged the child. Take care.