Advice on taking a "frugal" mom to WDWQ

[Ava]

Let's put it this way, when I showed her pictures of the SSR treehouses, even though I said several times that it's at no cost to you, I will be paying for it, she said "It's too fancy for us, we'll find a Day's Inn close by". It took my dad a month or so just to convince her that a free room in a nice hotel is a good idea.

I'm not trying to make her out as a bad person, I love her dearly. I just know her "hot buttons" of thriftiness and refusing to try new things clash with my vacation plans of being pampered and trying foods you wouldn't get anywhere else. I've already picked "meat and potato" restaurants to please her, so hopefully she can meet me half way and deal with the prices.

I think what I'll do is ask my Dad for $20 per table service meal ahead of time then charge evrything to our room.

It sounds like your mom doesn't feel like she's "fancy" enough for certain things, and she's afraid she'll be out of place in a nice hotel or an expensive (by her standards) restaurant. Or she doesn't feel like she deserves nice things. (I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, that's just the impression I got from reading your posts.)

Hopefully she'll relax once you're there & she sees everyone else relaxing & having a good time in the "fancy" hotel & nice restaurants.

Asking your dad for tip $ ahead of time sounds like a good idea too, and will hopefully keep your mom from commenting on the cost of the meals.

 

[kaligal]

Nice idea in theory, but my kids are as crazy about the Disney dining experience as I am, and I'm not willing to compromise my vacation experience by eating out off site. I'm not insulting people who do, but if I'm that close to Le Cellier's cheese soup I'm gonna do my damndest to get some. Plus we won't have a car, and taxiing to Denny's is both financially and morally wrong.

In the end I think I'll jst eat and wear ear plugs to dinner.

I have to ask...why is taking a cab "morally wrong"? I can not being able to afford it, but don't get the moral issue. If you don't want to get into that, I understand.

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

I have to ask...why is taking a cab "morally wrong"? I can not being able to afford it, but don't get the moral issue. If you don't want to get into that, I understand.

Nothing at all, I was just joking. Spending the extra money on a cab to a Denny's meal so that you avoid a free ride (Disney's transportation) to Le Cellier may not TECHNICALLY be morally wrong, but I'd be crying on the inside at every forkfull.

 

[sjsjbrook]

L

I think what I'll do is ask my Dad for $20 per table service meal ahead of time then charge evrything to our room.

That sounds the best idea yet. At least your dad sounds a little less frugal.

 

[WaltD4Me]

I think what I'll do is ask my Dad for $20 per table service meal ahead of time then charge evrything to our room.

Even easier. I would get the number of TS meals you are doing, add everything up and ask him for the tip money all at once ahead of time. Less chance of your mom overhearing or seeing your dad giving you the tip money. Five planned TS meals? Ask dad for $100 to cover the tips.

 

[TXYankee]

I like the idea of having Dad "pre Pay " the tips and then charging the tips to your room.

Perhaps you could use your Mom's ability to be "frugal" (bless her heart)to help you. Explain that the meal plan is part of the package. Tell her the cost and what you get. (1 table service, 1 counter, 2 snacks). Let her know that if you don't eat at the fancy Disney restaurants you would be throwing money away! Print out some of the menu's for where you have ADR's and a couple of planned counter service places. Ask her to look over the menus and see what she might suggest you all do to get the most value out of the plan. Maybe she will see it is not the best value to get the lease expensive thing.

Take her with a grain of salt. When she says things like:
Momenny's is where I would rather eat"
You: "bless your heart for wanting save us money, but on the package, we have to eat here."
Mom: This place is too fancy!
You: Yes, it is very fancy and you are worth it!
Mom: The food here is over priced!
You: Lucky it is part of the package end we can order any entree we want. What do you think is a good value?

I would also take advantage of Moms thrifty side and ask her to pack some snacks or trinkets for the Kids to help you save on souvenirs.

Turn her weakness into a stregnth and make her money saving expert.

Don't let her get to you. When she Cheaps out just "bless her heart!"

Have fun and engoy your time with your family!

 

[Sugardimples]

Why not just tell her the truth? "Mom, we're really glad you're going with us, but we're really concerned about your constant worrying out loud about how much things cost. Please don't do this so we can enjoy our vacation. Wait until you get back to your room and talk to Dad about it if you need to but please don't do this in front of us and the kids.

I'll help you out with this. If you start to slip, I'll say "OK, mom, I hear you". And then you can stop.

Thanks. I really appreciate your willingness to help make this a great vacation."

 

[disneygirl 17]

Why not just tell her the truch? "Mom, we're really glad you're going with us, but we're really concerned about your constant worrying out loud about how much things cost. Please don't do this so we can enjoy our vacation. Wait until you get back to your room and talk to Dad about it if you need to but please don't do this in front of us and the kids.

I'll help you out with this. If you start to slip, I'll say "OK, mom, I hear you". And then you can stop.

Thanks. I really appreciate your willingness to help make this a great vacation."

I have read this whole thead and I have been thinking the same thing. Just tell them the truth - you don't want to hear it. I am not sure I would even respond when she talks money - I would just pretend I dont' even hear her.

 

[robinb]

I think what I'll do is ask my Dad for $20 per table service meal ahead of time then charge evrything to our room.

I like the idea of collecting the tip from your dad in advance, but $20 is too much. Tips at WDW are 18% and the average TS is about $32. An 18% tip on two average TS meals would be $12.

You should also let your mom know that the chefs can adjust meals to suit her dietary restrictions and palate. They can leave sauces off the plate or substitute fancy veggies for plainer things like rice, potatoes or fries. All she needs to do is ask.

I also think that TXYankee's idea of turning her issues into positives is the best way to go. No adult would want to be treated like a teenager who is told to sit down and shut up ... even if said nicely.

 

[john1928]

A phrase about old dogs and new tricks comes to mind...

When it comes to what food she wants to eat I'm not sure I'd do anything to try and change her opinions at this point. If she's happy with bread and water (or whatever) then you can keep offering alternatives but why stress if she doesn't want to take them.


On the "frugal" issue, remember that being thrifty and having a waste-not, want-not outlook can become a way of life. Truth be told that's probably not a bad thing overall, but you don't have to let it ruin your vacation.

I suspect she may have the same concerns whether or not she or your dad are the ones paying. She won't want you to "waste" your money any more than she would want to waste her own. As others have said, I think the best bet is being honest with her and saying that you know there are less expensive places to stay/eat/vacation/etc. Let her know that you have made a deliberate decision to go to WDW despite the costs and since that decision has been made, the meal plan purchased, and reservations booked, could she please just go with the flow, have a good time, and try not to think about, or at least not comment about the costs involved.

 

[Northern_Julie]

Not sure how you deal with spending money and the kids but what if you take care of the tips and ask them to buy each of the kids a gift card instead. Gives them the abilty to spoil the granchildren and in your world it is a differant part of the budget you no longer deal with.

It is hard traveling with other people because they have differant standards and perseption of value. My trip with a friend in Ontario has lead to a lot of discussions on the limit of what she will pay. I admit I live in a place where everything costs more (and travel to places where Disney prices look sane) so I have felt like walking on eggshells because I am out of touch with real prices. I knew this going into it... My reaction is if I decide I want it I will pay for it for both of us because it wouldn't be fun without her and this is part of my vacation but have put this into my own travel budget from the start.

 

[AB6876]

Ok, my mom and dad are the same way. I have found when I go out to dinner or spending money in general. I have two solutions that can be used together or apart, distraction (hey we use that on our kids right) and agreement.

For example for dinner, the bill comes. We distract by making a game of guess the cost. This would work well at Disney on the DP, because you could say "Guess how much this would have cost us". Everyone takes a turn and gives a guess. At the end you turn over the receipt and see who wins. I know I know then the complaining starts, so just go with her and agree with her. yes it is so expensive..I know..but there are only two of you and four (or how ever many) of us..then make a joke about what you could buy for that money, and wrap it up with thank goodness it is only the tip we have to pay.
For some strange reason, I have found with my parents anyway, they are just saying it. They tend to like it when you "agree" with them. In the end you may end up laughing about it, and making up funny little tag lines about how expensive things are. Truth is, she did agree to go, and if she is that frugal she knows this is going to be expensive.
Good luck and don't let it bother you, just go with it.

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

Actually, I just realized something. Since we have a party of 6, isn't the tip added automatically? I can just have a quick looksie to check the bill's accuracy, then hand over our room card.

With one meal being a BBQ at the treehouse, another being Hoop-de-doo (tip paid), and a third being OOP (T-Rex), I would only have to do this for a few dinners. I could pay the bill when we leave, and work out the details between my Dad and I over a drink poolside when my Moms watching the kids.

 

[robinb]

Yes! An 18% gratuity will automatically be included . You should be able to just tuck your KTTW in the cover and you're good. We have the Tables in Wonderland card and that's how it works for us. The bill comes including the tip .

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

UPDATE: Showed my Mom all of the menus from the restaurants we're planning on booking. I explained that the prices were irrelevant, that I was merely showing her to see if there is any food that she likes.

Great news, she's 100% on board. We'll be booking our ADRs on Saturday the 25th.