Advice on driving with screaming baby update post 63

[Katie's Butterflies]

UPDATE POST 63

Hi,

I have a friend who has an adorable 10 month old baby boy. He is an absolute cutie. However, whenever she tries to drive anywhere, (she lives in a secluded area so has to drive in order to just buy groceries etc) her ds starts screaming from his car seat. He doesn’t just cry, he really belts it out, making it difficult for her to concentrate. Unfortunately, she’s alone almost all the time so she has to take him. So, whenever I come to visit her, she has me sit in back with baby to try and calm him down so that she can drive to the store (right past my house) then drive back up to her house. By that time, I have to go home. This is wasted time and wasted gas. I have offered to pick stuff up for her when I go shopping, but she declines.
She asks me constantly for advice, but I don’t have any experience with this as I’m not a parent!

(I admit I do have an idea as to why he might be so upset, but I want to see what more knowledgeable individuals say first.)

So, I was hoping someone on the dis could offer some insight as to why her ds starts screaming while in the car, and perhaps some advice as to how she could soothe him herself while driving.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Has she checked the car seat to make sure it is fitted properly? Maybe something is pinching the little tyke?

If everything checks out with the car seat I would use music, a favorite toy or something that can entertain him on his own.

Eventually he will get better. Might just be a seperation anxiety phase.

 

[holycow]

My darling little one used to do that too. Does she have him positioned to sit up a bit so he can see. Does he have a favorite toy to look at ??? Soothing music to listen to??? Is she talking to him???

Just a few suggestions.

Luckily they do grow out of it but I think I'd have my groceries delivered if I were her!

 

[RadioNate]

A properly sized rear facing car seat where he can sit slightly more upright than an infant seat.

Pacifier? At 10 months he should be able to hold a bottle/cup if that helps.

Is he changed/fed before going? I'd go out right after breakfast before nap.

 

[happygirl]

I'm going to guess he doesn't want to be in the seat and he is trying to cry his way out of it.

 

[EthansMom]

I'm going to guess he doesn't want to be in the seat and he is trying to cry his way out of it.

If the seat is fitted correctly and he isn't in any pain or danger, then I'd go with this. He isn't happy that he can't see Mom or isn't being held or something.

The good news is that crying isn't going to hurt the baby. If your friend knows that he is safe and unharmed, then she should just let him scream. She could say soothing things to him to let him know she's there, but otherwise, he's perfectly fine. Sure, the screaming is annoying, but giving him a hug and a snuggle when she arrives at her destination is the best she can do.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Thanks for the quick replies!

I'm going to guess he doesn't want to be in the seat and he is trying to cry his way out of it.

I would guess that too, but he loves being in it when it is attached to his stroller and is fine in the car until it starts moving.

A properly sized rear facing car seat where he can sit slightly more upright than an infant seat.

This might be it. I know he can't really see anything except the back of the seat, and that's not very interesting!

Pacifier? At 10 months he should be able to hold a bottle/cup if that helps.

Is he changed/fed before going? I'd go out right after breakfast before nap.

He actually weaned himself from pacifiers a couple of months ago. One less thing for his mom to worry about later She does have me give him a bottle to hold when I'm in back with him, but I don't know if she gives him one while he's by himself in back. I'll ask her.
She always checks his diaper before putting him in his seat, but he actually doesn't cry when he has a dirty diaper. He's actually quite mellow.
She usually leaves the house after his lunch time. I'll suggest leaving in the morning between breakfast and naptime.

My darling little one used to do that too. Does she have him positioned to sit up a bit so he can see. Does he have a favorite toy to look at ??? Soothing music to listen to??? Is she talking to him???

Just a few suggestions.

Luckily they do grow out of it but I think I'd have my groceries delivered if I were her!

He's kind of reclining slightly, but no I don't think he can really see. (It's an infant seat so I think it only clicks into place at one angle).
She does give him his favorite toy to hold onto and says that she tries to talk to him while driving. I'll suggest the music. He absolutely loves Disney music. (I had no part in that whatsoever )

Has she checked the car seat to make sure it is fitted properly? Maybe something is pinching the little tyke?

If everything checks out with the car seat I would use music, a favorite toy or something that can entertain him on his own.

Eventually he will get better. Might just be a seperation anxiety phase.

I was actually wondering if the seat didn't fit him properly because he is quite chubby. I think he's around 25lbs. I'll check to see if maybe his seat is getting a little snug for him.

I will definitely tell her that there is hope!

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

If the seat is fitted correctly and he isn't in any pain or danger, then I'd go with this. He isn't happy that he can't see Mom or isn't being held or something.

The good news is that crying isn't going to hurt the baby. If your friend knows that he is safe and unharmed, then she should just let him scream. She could say soothing things to him to let him know she's there, but otherwise, he's perfectly fine. Sure, the screaming is annoying, but giving him a hug and a snuggle when she arrives at her destination is the best she can do.

Sorry I missed yours. I'm a very slow poster

Unfortunately, my friend is very stressed right now because of some personal issues, so every little thing really adds up to her. But this baby really screams. His whole body turns red and he will continue for over 30 minutes non-stop. (that's the longest she's tried letting him cry it out). But if someone is in the back with him, he won't scream, he'll just cry (and eventually calm down). That she can handle.

I think you and several other might be right. I think he is upset he can't see his mommy. When not in the seat, he loves to be held constantly.
If this is the case, though, does this mean she'll have to wait for him to outgrow it?

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I know that the child cries but I would do some dry runs in the house. Bring the car seat in the house and get the baby used to it. Try different toys in the house and hopefully it will help.

 

[torinsmom]

I know most people don't think tv is good for babies, but my ex has a dvd player screen strapped onto his back seat somehow, where his 1 year old can see it(she is still rear facing) He puts in one of those baby dvds to keep her entertained. He took some pictures of her and my DS on one of his weekends and she looked really happy.

Or maybe a mirror for the baby to look at? Or some toys attached to the carseat with those link things?

Maybe the baby gets car sick?

As far as being more upright, is the car seat clicked onto a base that stays in the car? If so, you can take the base out and it has a few settings to determine the incline of the seat.

Marsha

 

[Peanut214]

I'd like to give your friend a . I am in the exact same predicament, and it is awful. It seems like most babies love the car, so no one I know really understands what it's like to drive with a screaming baby. They all tell me to just let him cry, but that's just tortuous for both of us.

In my case, it doesn't even help if I'm back there with him while DH is driving. He fits perfectly in his seat, so that's not the issue. I'm hoping it will get better once he is forward facing. I know I don't feel well if I ride facing backwards, lol. Maybe that is the case with your friend's child too.

Hope she finds a solution soon. Then pass it along to me!

 

[mhsjax]

Mine did that to some extent, and I know I will get flamed here but they all survived, I face them forward at this point. They couldn't stand looking backward, as soon as I faced them forward they stopped. So flame away, but it worked for me.

 

[LindaG4458]

Mine did that to some extent, and I know I will get flamed here but they all survived, I face them forward at this point. They couldn't stand looking backward, as soon as I faced them forward they stopped. So flame away, but it worked for me.

My SIL did the same thing. At first she put the rear-facing seat into the front so the child could see her (I know, but this kid had a scream that had the potential to break glass!). Then SIL tried the seat facing forward in the back seat and all was well because she could see Mom.

 

[kidshop]

Thanks for the quick replies!



I was actually wondering if the seat didn't fit him properly because he is quite chubby. I think he's around 25lbs. I'll check to see if maybe his seat is getting a little snug for him.

I will definitely tell her that there is hope!

Not many of the bucket car seats; the kind that click into a base, go up to 25 pounds. And his head needs to be an inch from the top of the hard plastic part of the seat in order to provide protection. (as far as I remember). I bet he needs a new convertible seat, so he can stay rear facing as long as possible. He is safest that way...better unhappy than injured.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Again, thanks for all the replies!

Mine did that to some extent, and I know I will get flamed here but they all survived, I face them forward at this point. They couldn't stand looking backward, as soon as I faced them forward they stopped. So flame away, but it worked for me.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I don’t think I’d suggest this to her because honestly, her driving scares me! I’m always worried she’s going to be in an accident. (yes I have mentioned it )Plus, I’ve seen way too many of those crash dummy baby videos. *Shudder*

I'd like to give your friend a . I am in the exact same predicament, and it is awful. It seems like most babies love the car, so no one I know really understands what it's like to drive with a screaming baby. They all tell me to just let him cry, but that's just tortuous for both of us.

In my case, it doesn't even help if I'm back there with him while DH is driving. He fits perfectly in his seat, so that's not the issue. I'm hoping it will get better once he is forward facing. I know I don't feel well if I ride facing backwards, lol. Maybe that is the case with your friend's child too.

Hope she finds a solution soon. Then pass it along to me!

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this too. It is really destroying my friend's nerves. She's starting to be afraid to even try taking him out.

In your case, it does sound like he might be carsick. Poor baby, being sick is no fun. But, If/when we/she figure something out, I’ll be sure to get it back to you!

I know most people don't think tv is good for babies, but my ex has a dvd player screen strapped onto his back seat somehow, where his 1 year old can see it(she is still rear facing) He puts in one of those baby dvds to keep her entertained. He took some pictures of her and my DS on one of his weekends and she looked really happy.

I don’t think this is an option. She has a small car, so I don’t think she’d be able to attach a small screen to the seat back. That sounds really interesting though.

Or maybe a mirror for the baby to look at? Or some toys attached to the carseat with those link things?

Maybe the baby gets car sick?

I’ve thought of a mirror (because he is just fascinated with them!), but again, there is no way to connect it to anything.
I wouldn’t suggest hanging anything from the carseat though because it could be unsafe if my friend has to stop suddenly etc.

I’m wondering about carsickness too because he only starts to cry after the car starts moving. I don’t believe my friend or her husband ever got car sick as children (or now), but I’ll ask if it runs in either side of the family.

As far as being more upright, is the car seat clicked onto a base that stays in the car? If so, you can take the base out and it has a few settings to determine the incline of the seat.

I didn’t know this! I don’t think my friend does either. I’ll be sure we check it out on Monday.

I know that the child cries but I would do some dry runs in the house. Bring the car seat in the house and get the baby used to it. Try different toys in the house and hopefully it will help.

Well, he actually does seem to like being in the car seat because when it is snapped into his stroller, he is all smiles. But, I’ll suggest this, as well as many of the other posters suggestions on Monday when I’m going up to visit.

 

[EthansMom]

They actually do make mirrors for this purpose also. I can't remember what they attach to... the rear window maybe? Babies R Us carries them.

Do doublecheck the baby's weight and the recommended weight for his carseat. It may be time to turn his carseat or change to a different one that is forward facing!

 

[figment52]

When my sister's kids were little she placed a mirror on the back of the seat in front of the baby. That gave them someone to look at while they were driving. If you being in the back seat with him makes the difference maybe he just needs to know there is someone else in the car he can see.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

My SIL did the same thing. At first she put the rear-facing seat into the front so the child could see her (I know, but this kid had a scream that had the potential to break glass!). Then SIL tried the seat facing forward in the back seat and all was well because she could see Mom.

Thanks for the suggestion,I appreciate it, but I don't think it would be a good idea to turn him forward facing yet.

I've heard of some mirrors that supposedly allow baby to see mom. Has anyone ever used those?

Not many of the bucket car seats; the kind that click into a base, go up to 25 pounds. And his head needs to be an inch from the top of the hard plastic part of the seat in order to provide protection. (as far as I remember). I bet he needs a new convertible seat, so he can stay rear facing as long as possible. He is safest that way...better unhappy than injured.

I'll check out his seat on Monday and discuss the possibility with her. It is a seat with a base, but I don't know the weight limit. I've asked her before, but she didn't know either. I think it's a Graco (sp). I think she might be happy if he needs a new seat because it'll giver her an excuse to go shopping.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

They actually do make mirrors for this purpose also. I can't remember what they attach to... the rear window maybe? Babies R Us carries them.

When my sister's kids were little she placed a mirror on the back of the seat in front of the baby. That gave them someone to look at while they were driving. If you being in the back seat with him makes the difference maybe he just needs to know there is someone else in the car he can see.

You both are mind readers! Just as you posted, I was typing up a question about those mirrors! Amazing!

Do doublecheck the baby's weight and the recommended weight for his carseat. It may be time to turn his carseat or change to a different one that is forward facing!

I'll make sure it gets checked on Monday. I can't believe he's almost big enough for a new carseat! It seems like yesterday he was just born

 

[Peanut214]

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3416998&CAWELAID=302713388

This is the mirror I have. It attaches to the seat headrest. It plays music, and comes with a remote so it can be activated from the front seat. It works for me for about 5 minutes, but maybe she'll have better luck!