Advice on driving with screaming baby update post 63

[clovergirl5]

I have this issue with dd2. She is not a long car-ride toddler (which I don't blame her, but its necessary to see my parents). She has earpiercing screams and she is right behind me in the middle of the second row seats. I actually bought a pair of earplugs There is no reasoning with her. She has 1 sister on each side of her and a brother and sister behind her, nobody can settle her down. Its usually that she wants something. Paci, food, or their gameboys/ds's She does get cranky when shes overdressed though. Could that be a possibility with your df son? Maybe he is overheated and feeling confined in his carseat? Or the sun in his eyes? That used to bother my dd6 when she was a toddler. She used to tell the sun to get off of her

I sympathize with your friend, not fun trying to drive when your kid is screaming. I have added toys with links onto the carseat too, that seemed to help as did the dvd player and music. Poor older kids get sick of watching Barney and Mickey mouse clubhouse though Whatever keeps her quiet while Im driving LOL. Earplugs are a godsend though if you gotta let em cry it out.

Maybe a paci would help due to pressure in his ears/ears popping while driving?

 

[Peanut214]

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this too. It is really destroying my friend's nerves. She's starting to be afraid to even try taking him out.

In your case, it does sound like he might be carsick. Poor baby, being sick is no fun. But, If/when we/she figure something out, I’ll be sure to get it back to you!

Thank you! I know what you mean about your poor friend's nerves. I live 45 minutes away from my Mom, and 2-2 1/2 hours away from the rest of our family, and we're missing quite a few get-togethers because I'm so stressed about the car ride! And when we do go, I spend the whole time worrying about the trip home. It's really awful, like a PP said, his screams could break glass.

It doesn't help that nearly everyone will tell me how much their child LOVED the car when they were a baby!!! It's a comfort to know I'm not alone in this after all!

 

[torinsmom]

I think the mirror could work if you get the right one.

http://www.amazon.com/SafeFit-50336-Jumbo-Mirror/dp/B001DF67I0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1259443114&sr=8-2

http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Adjustable-Back-Seat-Mirror/dp/B002A9JCYE/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1259443114&sr=8-10

http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Precious-Planet-Deluxe-Mirror/dp/B001OC62UK/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1259443114&sr=8-13

 

[Teresa Pitman]

Moving a baby under a year to a forward-facing position will increase the risk of death or severe injury in an accident. Sure, most babies will survive, because most won't get in an accident. The risk is still there.

At ten months, most babies are eating some solid foods, so perhaps the baby could have something to eat or chew on while driving. It would be a distraction, and if the problem is carsickness having something to eat may actually settle his stomach. You want something that he's not likely to choke on, though - maybe banana pieces, for example.

Teresa

 

[minkydog]

Oh boy, do I sympathize with your friend! Christian screamed in the car for the first two years. He would start as soon as we pulled out of the driveway; it didn't matter if we were going 10 minutes or 10 hours.He's visually impaired so looking out the window was pointless. NOTHING pacified him. And I had two young kids who tried valiantly to entertain him. All I could do was put on some Veggie Tales music and get the kids to sing along. It didn't stop him from screaming, but at least we could try to take our minds off it. I once drove by myself 9 hours to get to my mother's house with Christian screaming bloody murder the entire way. I was whipped by the time i got there and thankfully, my mother took one look at me, grabbed the baby, and put me to bed. I slept for 12 hours.

I don't have any suggestions. Eventually Christian grew out of it.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I have this issue with dd2. She is not a long car-ride toddler (which I don't blame her, but its necessary to see my parents). She has earpiercing screams and she is right behind me in the middle of the second row seats. I actually bought a pair of earplugs There is no reasoning with her. She has 1 sister on each side of her and a brother and sister behind her, nobody can settle her down. Its usually that she wants something. Paci, food, or their gameboys/ds's She does get cranky when shes overdressed though. Could that be a possibility with your df son? Maybe he is overheated and feeling confined in his carseat? Or the sun in his eyes? That used to bother my dd6 when she was a toddler. She used to tell the sun to get off of her

I sympathize with your friend, not fun trying to drive when your kid is screaming. I have added toys with links onto the carseat too, that seemed to help as did the dvd player and music. Poor older kids get sick of watching Barney and Mickey mouse clubhouse though Whatever keeps her quiet while Im driving LOL. Earplugs are a godsend though if you gotta let em cry it out.

Maybe a paci would help due to pressure in his ears/ears popping while driving?

I don’t think he’s usually over dressed, but I’ll pay closer attention on Monday. His clothes might make him feel constrained, as you said, especially since he’s a bit chubby and might, as others said, be getting a bit big for his seat.
I don’t think it’s the sun, because he’ll scream just as loudly (if not more so) at night.
Unfortunately, I think it would be very difficult to attach anything to the back of the seat.
Also, the last time he had a paci, he spit it out, so I think he no longer cares for them. But, I'll see if my friend wants to try it again.

Thank you for the suggestions. I think maybe for an early Christmas present I’ll get her some earplugs lol. I hope your DD “grows out of it soon.” (and hopefully before your other children go nuts from listening to Barney and Mickey)

Thank you! I know what you mean about your poor friend's nerves. I live 45 minutes away from my Mom, and 2-2 1/2 hours away from the rest of our family, and we're missing quite a few get-togethers because I'm so stressed about the car ride! And when we do go, I spend the whole time worrying about the trip home. It's really awful, like a PP said, his screams could break glass.

It doesn't help that nearly everyone will tell me how much their child LOVED the car when they were a baby!!! It's a comfort to know I'm not alone in this after all!

Yep, that sounds like my friend. She too has missed quite a few get-togethers with family and has been told by everyone that their child loved going for rides. Her ds is only a few weeks older than your little cutie too. I do think it’ll make her feel a little bit better to know that someone else is going through the same thing. Also, I know this won’t really help at all, but I believe you. I know one problem with my friend was that no one believed her cute little baby could scream bloody murder. I know I didn’t until I witnessed it first hand. It really is quite amazing what those tiny lungs are capable of.

 

[lewdyan1]

I will tell you that my DD13 cried for a year in the carseat...I thought I was going to go insane. Nothing helped. It took a while for me to figure out it was carsickness. I have since told others to try giving a child gingersnaps which helps with motion sickness and sometimes opening a window for fresh air makes a difference. All I can say is it takes time, but it does get better. My DD still has motion sickness but sits in the middle seat where she can look straight out and that helps.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I think the mirror could work if you get the right one.

Thank you for the links. I’ll be sure to have her check out the different ones. Maybe seeing his mom will help calm him down!

Moving a baby under a year to a forward-facing position will increase the risk of death or severe injury in an accident. Sure, most babies will survive, because most won't get in an accident. The risk is still there.

Thank you for the reminder. I still can’t get those crash dummy videos out of my head.

At ten months, most babies are eating some solid foods, so perhaps the baby could have something to eat or chew on while driving. It would be a distraction, and if the problem is carsickness having something to eat may actually settle his stomach. You want something that he's not likely to choke on, though - maybe banana pieces, for example.
Teresa

That’s an interesting idea. I’ll suggest it to her. He has been eating semi-solid food for a couple of months, so I’ll run it by her. Thanks for the suggestion!

Oh boy, do I sympathize with your friend! Christian screamed in the car for the first two years. He would start as soon as we pulled out of the driveway; it didn't matter if we were going 10 minutes or 10 hours.He's visually impaired so looking out the window was pointless. NOTHING pacified him. And I had two young kids who tried valiantly to entertain him. All I could do was put on some Veggie Tales music and get the kids to sing along. It didn't stop him from screaming, but at least we could try to take our minds off it. I once drove by myself 9 hours to get to my mother's house with Christian screaming bloody murder the entire way. I was whipped by the time i got there and thankfully, my mother took one look at me, grabbed the baby, and put me to bed. I slept for 12 hours.

I don't have any suggestions. Eventually Christian grew out of it.

Wow, that sounds beyond horrible. I’ll see if maybe she can put some music on to at least distract her slightly, (and maybe him!) but, with those types of screams it’ll be hard. I can only imagine what you must have gone through. I don’t think I would have made it the full 9 hours.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I will tell you that my DD13 cried for a year in the carseat...I thought I was going to go insane. Nothing helped. It took a while for me to figure out it was carsickness. I have since told others to try giving a child gingersnaps which helps with motion sickness and sometimes opening a window for fresh air makes a difference. All I can say is it takes time, but it does get better. My DD still has motion sickness but sits in the middle seat where she can look straight out and that helps.

Carsickness is no fun. I will definitely suggest ginger to her. I forgot that ginger can help with carsickness! Thanks

 

[Jennasis]

Could he be motion sick?

 

[clovergirl5]

What a great friend you are op, for trying to help.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Could he be motion sick?

Thanks for the question, but honestly, I don't know. I've asked my friend before but she doesn't have any idea either since it doesn't run in his family. I think, though, that I'm going to suggest giving him some ginger as another poster suggested and see if that helps at all.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

What a great friend you are op, for trying to help.

Thanks, but all I'm doing is asking a bunch of strangers for advice

 

[mhsjax]

Moving a baby under a year to a forward-facing position will increase the risk of death or severe injury in an accident. Sure, most babies will survive, because most won't get in an accident. The risk is still there.

At ten months, most babies are eating some solid foods, so perhaps the baby could have something to eat or chew on while driving. It would be a distraction, and if the problem is carsickness having something to eat may actually settle his stomach. You want something that he's not likely to choke on, though - maybe banana pieces, for example.

Teresa

I understand about not taking my suggestion and putting him forward facing, however, there is NO WAY, I would give a baby something to eat while rear facing, if he chocked you would never know. I don't care what kind of food it is, that to me seems more dangerous than placing an infant forward facing. To me if the kiddo is screaming enough to make the mom that nervous then in fact it already is a dangerous situation, not to mention he could drown out any noise that an emergency vehicle make and the mom may not ever hear it. I think you have to look at these things on a case by case basis. Not a blanket statement that infants must remain rear facing until a certain time. JMHO, even if it isnt legal.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I understand about not taking my suggestion and putting him forward facing, however, there is NO WAY, I would give a baby something to eat while rear facing, if he chocked you would never know. I don't care what kind of food it is, that to me seems more dangerous than placing an infant forward facing. To me if the kiddo is screaming enough to make the mom that nervous then in fact it already is a dangerous situation, not to mention he could drown out any noise that an emergency vehicle make and the mom may not ever hear it. I think you have to look at these things on a case by case basis. Not a blanket statement that infants must remain rear facing until a certain time. JMHO, even if it isnt legal.

Unfortunately, my friend is not driving anywhere unless she absolutely has to which is why I posted this question in the first place. She realizes how dangerous it could be if she loses her concentration on the road. I’m glad that the forward facing seat worked for you, but I don’t feel comfortable suggesting that to her at this time. I’d like to try some other options first. You also make a very good point about food. It can be very dangerous to give a baby something to eat unsupervised. I appreciate the reminder. Thank you for your opinions and your concern. I apologize if I offended you in any way.

 

[MushyMushy]

I always thought rear-facing was for under 20 pounds or has that changed?

 

[torinsmom]

I think now it is 20 lbs AND 1 year old. I guess I am lucky that my DS15 survived his infant/toddler years, LOL. He was 20 lbs at 4 months and with his head and neck control, the doctor told me he was ready to face forward. We even had a really bad wreck when he was 8 months old and he didn't have any problems. Of course, he also slept on his stomach and used a walker

Marsha

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I always thought rear-facing was for under 20 pounds or has that changed?

I think now it is 20 lbs AND 1 year old.

Yes, it is 20lbs and 1 year old at the minimum because of the bone development. I think they're easier to break before a year old (but don't quote me on that )

I guess I am lucky that my DS15 survived his infant/toddler years, LOL. He was 20 lbs at 4 months and with his head and neck control, the doctor told me he was ready to face forward. We even had a really bad wreck when he was 8 months old and he didn't have any problems. Of course, he also slept on his stomach and used a walker

Marsha

I'm glad your son was ok after the crash. That must have been terrifying.

I think many of us were lucky to survive childhood. My mom held me in her arms a couple of times while in the car because all the other seats were taken. However, IMHO things should not be deemed acceptable just because we survived them as children. My dad is/was a great driver. My friend...not so much. In my friend's case, I truly believe that turning her ds forward at this time would be a bad idea.

 

[torinsmom]

Yes, it is 20lbs and 1 year old at the minimum because of the bone development. I think they're easier to break before a year old (but don't quote me on that )


I'm glad your son was ok after the crash. That must have been terrifying.

I think many of us were lucky to survive childhood. My mom held me in her arms a couple of times while in the car because all the other seats were taken. However, IMHO things should not be deemed acceptable just because we survived them as children. My dad is/was a great driver. My friend...not so much. In my friend's case, I truly believe that turning her ds forward at this time would be a bad idea.

Oh, I wasn't recommending that. I am one who kept my son in a booster until he was 9(and he has always been big for his age) BEFORE the law was changed to 8 and 80 in our state. I went by the recommendations of child safety experts and not the gov't officials of NC.

I hope your friend can find something that works! I was very lucky; my son really liked riding in the car.

Marsha

 

[Peanut214]

Yep, that sounds like my friend. She too has missed quite a few get-togethers with family and has been told by everyone that their child loved going for rides. Her ds is only a few weeks older than your little cutie too. I do think it’ll make her feel a little bit better to know that someone else is going through the same thing. Also, I know this won’t really help at all, but I believe you. I know one problem with my friend was that no one believed her cute little baby could scream bloody murder. I know I didn’t until I witnessed it first hand. It really is quite amazing what those tiny lungs are capable of.

It really does help, thank you! I can't tell you how many times I've been told I must be being "dramatic."

This thread has been very therapeutic for me, and I don't feel so alone anymore. Thanks to everyone for sharing their war stories!