Advice Needed On FAMILY Issues

[fmawyer]

After reading the first post.I cant help but wonder what your DH was doing.If my BIL got smart like that with my wife I'd push his teeth down his throat.I'm not billy bad but just won't stand for someone disrespecting my wife or parents like that.

 

[koziclan]

After reading the first post.I cant help but wonder what your DH was doing.If my BIL got smart like that with my wife I'd push his teeth down his throat.I'm not billy bad but just won't stand for someone disrespecting my wife or parents like that.

If it happened at home DH would have told him off as well as my Dad. Nobody wanted to make it worse than it already was.

BIL is very lucky that my DH is the person he is. DH stepped between BIL and I, steered me & the kids through the turnstile. AK really isn't the place for anything like that. The security guards were watching him because he kept following me and yelling. Can you imagine getting booted out WDW because of some jerk? Try explaining that to your kids!Yikes!

 

[Mom2JPL]

For the record the "plan" wasn't commando. It was more like park days to match with ADR's, show & parade times, emh days, Wishes etc. Just so we wouldn't have to bother with that stuff when we were there. It was in spreadsheet form and at the bottom I put the shows and stuff that my family wanted to see. It definately wasn't a minute by minute thing.

I also gave them phone numbers for disney, taxis, medical centers, airlines etc. DDP brochures, Petty experience info (BIL is a big NASCAR fan), DTD info.
Ride height limits (for rides nephew was to small for) It wasn't just my interests. It encompassed everyone.

I wanted everyone to have everything at there fingertips instead of having to waste time while they were there looking for it.

Had info and shared it. Unfortunately, it wasn't appreciated.

I think would have run into problems if I didn't do what I did. Then it would be "I knew and didn't tell anybody".

I think what you put together sounds like it was perfect, but your family (re: bil) didn't appreciate it! Sorry your trip turned into the nightmare that it did, and sorry that your parents were kind of put in the middle of it. It must have been hard for them to have their children fighting (even though it was more their son-in-law arguing with everyone else).

I agree with the pps that say to talk with your sister (but not confrontationally) and just lay it out on the table. Tell her you want to be around for her and your nephew, but don't want to make it uncomfortable for them if your bil starts his nonsense. Eventually (hopefully) she'll figure it all out and see him for what kind of person he really is.

to you with whatever you decide to do!

 

[Disneygirl26]

I guess all families are different, but I would NEVER miss my nephew's big day for such trivial stuff. I guess I put it into the perspective of no one can bring you down unless you allow them to do so. I would totally go and enjoy the time with my nephew, be civil to BIL and maintain that relationship with Sis and nephew.
??

I totally agree

What happen to Sticks and Stones, you have to remember that all families have a few jerks in them but you get write off your whole family b/c of a few bad apples. If I were you I would have waited a day after the argument and spoke with my sister about what happened and tried to get it resolved. I think it’s a shame that some people could stop speaking to a family over something as silly as which ride we're going next. All the trips to Disney I've ever been on has been with my family of 10pp or more and guest what I've enjoyed every one of them, Do me and my family argue? Yes but I have never ever thought I'm never going to talk to my sister because she has a creep for a husband. PP have said life is to short to be around people who bring you down, but I think life is to short to be affected by other peoples rude behavior and by not speaking to your sister and not going to your nephew birthday party you're allowing yourself to be affected by your BIL's bad behavior.

 

[bookgirl]

Now I totally get it. I would feel that way too. While I plan our dining for our trips, we don't have an itinerary. We are go with the flow type of people and if our parents were on a trip with my sister's family and our family and my sister made a whole itinerary and basically said -"Here's what we are doing you are welcome to join us". I would be a bit miffed. I would want to spend time with my parents too and that would put us in a rough spot. I don't like having a superscheduled vacation nor does my dh and our kids. I would feel that you were being a bit controlling to say the least. However- your dsis and you should have a talk if you really want her in your life. I don't believe that just because you are family you need to talk- because some people are just butts and yes, life is short so I will not surround myself and my family with toxic people. Good luck with this whole situation.

A few people have mentioned similar feelings, but isn't it the same thing in reverse. One group is a "planned group" the other is a "go with the flow group". Well if they aren't allowed to plan because you would feel obligated or mad, then you are forcing YOUR style on them and that's not fair either. Really it should have been a comprimise all the way around. The original poster tried by saying this is our plan and you're welcome to go along or drop it. Maybe it should have been, 1 or 2 "planned" activities a day, then for the rest everyone just did what ever they wanted, and only met for those couple of set times.