advice for a friend (baby related)

[dani0622]

To answer your questions:
Yes, everyone is from NJ. And this group of guys does this for each one's bachelor parties. They never just go to a bar or restaurant or whatever. It's always a big huge party somewhere far away from NJ- Vegas, Miami, Caribbean, Mexico, etc.

 

[cinmell]

To answer your questions:
Yes, everyone is from NJ. And this group of guys does this for each one's bachelor parties. They never just go to a bar or restaurant or whatever. It's always a big huge party somewhere far away from NJ- Vegas, Miami, Caribbean, Mexico, etc.

Wow, these guys have it made! He shouldn't even consider attending this bachelor party.

 

[minkydog]

I think the husband is being unreasonable here, not the wife. A woman in her 37th week of pregnancy has enough going on physically and mentally, she doesn't need to added worry of hubby being out of town. Plenty of women do go into labor at that stage of pregnancy, not to mention develop swollen feet, high blood pressure,can't sleep, and generally just feel miserable. That's the time she needs him most. If he's off in the Yukon, or wherever he's going, there is no way he could make it back home in less than 12hrs. And that's 12hrs when his mate-for-life may need him most and he will be unable to deliver(no pun intended.)

If my DH did this to me, he would find an empty house when he got back because me & the new baby would be at my mother's. Permanently.

 

[rt2dz]

I don't really have any advice--I see both sides and say it is an issue between the couple. However, no matter hoe accurate due dates are now, they are still a window of give or take by two weeks. Meaning, the baby could come anytime & be considered term two before due date 'till two weeks after due date. Most babies do come within a few days of the due date.

My first came 9 days prior to my due date. My second was 3 1/2 weeks early and my second 15 days prior to my due date. No truth that the first is usually late--old wives tale.

 

[Cthia]

I don't think he should go either and I do allow my DH alot of freedom.

I will say a prayer that nothing happens to your friend but you never know. That is too far away to be away in case of an emergency. He will regret missing the birth of his first child if she goes into labor, that is something you can't relive.

I hope he makes the right decision.

 

[Skywalker]

Can you tell us exactly where they are going? Because I seriously can't think of a place in Canada that would be an 8-9 hour flight from New Jersey.

Anyway, three weeks before the due date is probably safe...its not like it is three days! My problem is not with that but with a bachelor trip like that. I don't think its necessary at all, and I would be ticked off whether I was pregnant or not. I think those type of things invite trouble.

 

[luvmy2sams]

My blood pressure skyrocketed before my due date with DD, and I ended up being induced a few weeks early. Anything can happen at this stage in the ballgame. DH wouldn't have even considered traveling anywhere for the last month of my pregnancy, and I'd had no complications until the very end. He's got a very long leash, but if this happened to me, DH would come home to a locked house. I hope this guy comes to his senses.

 

[lil mermaid]

I think the husband is being unreasonable here, not the wife. A woman in her 37th week of pregnancy has enough going on physically and mentally, she doesn't need to added worry of hubby being out of town. Plenty of women do go into labor at that stage of pregnancy, not to mention develop swollen feet, high blood pressure,can't sleep, and generally just feel miserable. That's the time she needs him most. If he's off in the Yukon, or wherever he's going, there is no way he could make it back home in less than 12hrs. And that's 12hrs when his mate-for-life may need him most and he will be unable to deliver(no pun intended.)

If my DH did this to me, he would find an empty house when he got back because me & the new baby would be at my mother's. Permanently.

I agree with you 100%. Why is he even considering it

My own DD was two weeks early - and it was totally unexpected.

He should be a man and stay home and take care of his wife.

 

[mickeyboat]

Hannah was three weeks old when I would have been 37 weeks. 37 weeks is actually considered a full-term pregnancy.

Being 8-9 hours away at this time is just stupid, unless he doesn't mind missing the birth of his first child, and not being there for his wife in sickness and in health like he promised. 8 hours may not be enough time to get home in case something were to happen. Just think of the expense and worry he would face if there was some sort of emergency while he was gone.

This will have to be one of the first and many sacrifices he will make for the rest of his life as a parent. He might as well get used to it now.

Denae

 

[dani0622]

Can you tell us exactly where they are going? Because I seriously can't think of a place in Canada that would be an 8-9 hour flight from New Jersey.

Vancouver

 

[mookie]

I am in somewhat the same situation.

I went into preterm labor with our dd at 31 weeks. I was on bedrest until I had her at 35 weeks. I am currently pregnant with our 2nd, and DH's best friend is getting married in Cancun, and wants DH to stand up in the wedding. The problem is, I definitely won't be able to go, I'll be almost 33 weeks.

Because of our history, there is a possibility that it might happen again, so DH is still trying to decide if he should tell his friend that he declines and won't be able to go, or take the chance. For most, 33 weeks wouldn't be a big deal, but for us, it's a little different. I would say being that close to a due date, anything can happen. We had no idea we'd have dd as early as we did...and that was our first pregancy.

I would say decline. It's not like it's the wedding itself, it's just the bachelor party!

 

[hydster]

No way would my dh be going. I think the idea of the weekend long batchelor parties are wrong. A night out with the boys is fine but the weekend travel thing would really bug me. My 1st baby was a nightmare from 35 weeks until she delivered. If I hadn't had my dh with me I don't know if I could have made it. This wouldn't even be up for discussion but then my dh wouldn't leave me for a weekend with friends.


My inlaws went camping the night I went into labor and we couldn't get a hold of them and didn't know where they were. My mil still kicks herself for missing the birth of her first granddaughter after she only had 2 boys.

He needs to stay home or compromise and have a "pre-bachelor" party with the boys closer to home...like maybe the weekend before.

 

[mickeyboat]

I am in somewhat the same situation.

I went into preterm labor with our dd at 31 weeks. I was on bedrest until I had her at 35 weeks. I am currently pregnant with our 2nd, and DH's best friend is getting married in Cancun, and wants DH to stand up in the wedding. The problem is, I definitely won't be able to go, I'll be almost 33 weeks.

mookie - I went into preterm labor with Hannah and my water broke at 31 weeks. I delivered at 34 weeks. They never figured out why (dehydration was mentioned as a possible cause).

A year later I was freaking out planning Hannah's 1st birthday party 5 weeks early because I was certain it was going to happen again. Emily was born two days before her due date.

So, hopefully it won't happen to you again.

Denae

 

[Cindyluwho]

This will have to be one of the first and many sacrifices he will make for the rest of his life as a parent. He might as well get used to it now.

Denae

I was actually thinking that it might be OK for him to go. What are the odds of the baby coming early, this group does this for all the guys, etc. After reading the quote above I've definately changed my mind. There comes a time when you have to grow up and be responsible. That doesn't mean you can't hang out with your friends anymore but family has to come first. I don't personally agree with the bachelor party thing but everyone is different.

 

[copper68]

i'm in nj too and my dh went away 3 weeks before i was due with my first to dallas.. he went to a football game.. but, he was only gone for 3 days.. and would've been on the first plane back if i called him.. we had no problems.. and i didn't mind..

 

[Skywalker]

Vancouver

Okay, not that it matters but a flight to Vancouver should only be about maybe half of that or a little more...then again, I'm sure that is only the least part of the issue so I'll just shut my mouth now.

 

[A4Disney]

I do not have any children of my own yet so I don't know if I am offering the best advice to friend. Her husband is in a wedding 3 weeks after her due date, so she pretty much figures she won't be attending wedding. She wants to know if she is being unreasonable with husband. Bachelor party is 3 weeks before her due date. It's being held in Canada, we're in NJ, and it's for the entire weekend. I say no way, what if she goes into early labor and he wasn't there? But what do I know, I don't have kids!! Any advice to offer her? By the way, her husband already said he was going, but she hasn't responded yet. Thanks!

I don't think you are right I think he's being inconsiderate for even thinking about going..

 

[malibuconlee]

I disagree. Three weeks IS that close. I wouldn't want him to go. My DH simply WOULDN'T go by his own choice. It's a matter of respect for his wife.

BTW - my SIL went into labor 3 weeks early last summer with her first child. So, it is that close.

I wouldn't worry too much about her not having the baby 3 weeks after her due date. Docs don't seem to let moms go that long without inducing anymore.

 

[JVL1018]

I do not have any children of my own yet so I don't know if I am offering the best advice to friend. Her husband is in a wedding 3 weeks after her due date, so she pretty much figures she won't be attending wedding. She wants to know if she is being unreasonable with husband. Bachelor party is 3 weeks before her due date. It's being held in Canada, we're in NJ, and it's for the entire weekend. I say no way, what if she goes into early labor and he wasn't there? But what do I know, I don't have kids!! Any advice to offer her? By the way, her husband already said he was going, but she hasn't responded yet. Thanks!

Her husband shouldn't even WANT to go, IMO.
My husband had a wedding he was going to be in, but it was 3 days after my due date with our first child, being held in FL(we are in NJ), he turned down being in the wedding(and weboth sent our regrets to the wedding) and didn't go to the bachelor party down there either which was 2 or 3 weeks before my due date. There was never even a question on his part--way too close to the baby being born.
3 weeks before the due date, is considered full term so it's not unheard of at all to have babies at that time.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think it's too close to the due date to go.

I think a man who has "already said" that he is going isn't going to care what you, us or his wife thinks.

I think theyhave more issues than can be figured out here.

I think you ought to stay out of it.

I wish your friend luck. She's gonna need it.