Advice about man...

[aprescher]

I need advice and I don't really have anyone else to turn to that would be neutral. I am a shy introverted person and really tend to overthink things so I am hoping to get some honest advice here.

I have been trying for some time to get the attention of my best friends brother in law. He recently broke up with his girlfriend and came to a Halloween party I had. Everyone had a few drinks, was relaxed and everything was going fantastic! We were dancing together, he was spinning me around. In between dances he kept coming up to me, putting his arm around me, always made sure I had something to drink. Everyone was pushing us together all night and maybe it was in my head but I felt a connection.
Like all great things this too came to an end His brother (my best friends husband) ended up getting too drunk and was really loud. The neighbors ended up calling the cops and it ended with the drunk one going to jail. Of course, this killed the buzz really quickly. My crush was very apologetic to me but had to switch to good brother mode and sober up to go bail his brother out. He gave me a big hug on his way out but I haven't heard from him since.

My question is, would it be a bad idea to reach out to him now that's it's been a few days? I don't have his number but I am his friend on facebook. I just want to tell him I was having a really great time with him that I hope there aren't any hard feelings between us and that I would really like a do over! I just don't want to overstep and make things awkward. Like I said, I tend to way overthink things and I'm shy. My stomachs in knots just writing this!

 

[HannaBelle]

I need advice and I don't really have anyone else to turn to that would be neutral. I am a shy introverted person and really tend to overthink things so I am hoping to get some honest advice here.

I have been trying for some time to get the attention of my best friends brother in law. He recently broke up with his girlfriend and came to a Halloween party I had. Everyone had a few drinks, was relaxed and everything was going fantastic! We were dancing together, he was spinning me around. In between dances he kept coming up to me, putting his arm around me, always made sure I had something to drink. Everyone was pushing us together all night and maybe it was in my head but I felt a connection.
Like all great things this too came to an end His brother (my best friends husband) ended up getting too drunk and was really loud. The neighbors ended up calling the cops and it ended with the drunk one going to jail. Of course, this killed the buzz really quickly. My crush was very apologetic to me but had to switch to good brother mode and sober up to go bail his brother out. He gave me a big hug on his way out but I haven't heard from him since.

My question is, would it be a bad idea to reach out to him now that's it's been a few days? I don't have his number but I am his friend on facebook. I just want to tell him I was having a really great time with him that I hope there aren't any hard feelings between us and that I would really like a do over! I just don't want to overstep and make things awkward. Like I said, I tend to way overthink things and I'm shy. My stomachs in knots just writing this!

It sounds perfectly reasonable to me, but why do you think there would be hard feelings?

I say message him and invite him out.

 

[TAX GUY]

I need advice and I don't really have anyone else to turn to that would be neutral. I am a shy introverted person and really tend to overthink things so I am hoping to get some honest advice here.

I have been trying for some time to get the attention of my best friends brother in law. He recently broke up with his girlfriend and came to a Halloween party I had. Everyone had a few drinks, was relaxed and everything was going fantastic! We were dancing together, he was spinning me around. In between dances he kept coming up to me, putting his arm around me, always made sure I had something to drink. Everyone was pushing us together all night and maybe it was in my head but I felt a connection.
Like all great things this too came to an end His brother (my best friends husband) ended up getting too drunk and was really loud. The neighbors ended up calling the cops and it ended with the drunk one going to jail. Of course, this killed the buzz really quickly. My crush was very apologetic to me but had to switch to good brother mode and sober up to go bail his brother out. He gave me a big hug on his way out but I haven't heard from him since.

My question is, would it be a bad idea to reach out to him now that's it's been a few days? I don't have his number but I am his friend on facebook. I just want to tell him I was having a really great time with him that I hope there aren't any hard feelings between us and that I would really like a do over! I just don't want to overstep and make things awkward. Like I said, I tend to way overthink things and I'm shy. My stomachs in knots just writing this!

I say go for it. If its how you feel and what you want to go after, then do it. Send him a private message on FB and see if he's up for it too. Worst case is he says no or it doesn't work out. To me, its better to try and know than to wonder "what if". Don't over think it. Men, for the most part, are simple minded. Sometimes you have to be very blunt with us.

 

[dsneprincess]

I wouldn't put anything public on Facebook, but maybe there is a way to do privately so only he can see? (I am not on FB & really have no idea, but I wouldn't want everyone i knew to see & ask about?). If you can do for his eyes only, just reach out and say you enjoyed the evening, are sorry it was cut short & how did your brother make out? If it had to be public, I wouldn't say a thing. Just my 2 (anti living my life in full view of everyone on FB) cents.

 

[aprescher]

I wouldn't put anything public on Facebook, but maybe there is a way to do privately so only he can see? (I am not on FB & really have no idea, but I wouldn't want everyone i knew to see & ask about?). If you can do for his eyes only, just reach out and say you enjoyed the evening, are sorry it was cut short & how did your brother make out? If it had to be public, I wouldn't say a thing. Just my 2 (anti living my life in full view of everyone on FB) cents.

Yes there is a way to private message where no one else would see it so that's how it would be sent.

Thanks for the advice everyone! I think I will send the message and hope everything works out!

 

[Newsies]

It sounds like he's interested back. Message him, girl! Good luck

 

[lakelandgal70]

Yep most definitely message him! Sounds like he is interested. Come back and let us know how it went

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well, I have been out of the dating loop for two decades, so take my advice with a grain of salt:

I would absolutely message him--but not with some long winded thing about that night and how you enjoyed it and bringing up the drunk brother and imagined hard feelings.

Keep it simple--"Hey, I was really having fun with you at the party, would you be interested in going our for coffee next week?"

 

[HM]

Well, I have been out of the dating loop for two decades, so take my advice with a grain of salt:

I would absolutely message him--but not with some long winded thing about that night and how you enjoyed it and bringing up the drunk brother and imagined hard feelings.

Keep it simple--"Hey, I was really having fun with you at the party, would you be interested in going our for coffee next week?"

Absolutely agree. Don't even bring up the end of the evening in your initial message.

 

[HannaBelle]

So OP, did you message him? How did it go?

 

[lizabu]

I guess I'm in the minority but I believe if a guy likes a girl nothing will stop him from getting in touch with her. I wouldn't bother. If he likes you you will hear from him.

 

[DisneyJules]

I guess I'm in the minority but I believe if a guy likes a girl nothing will stop him from getting in touch with her. I wouldn't bother. If he likes you you will hear from him.

I was thinking the same thing! OP, and you don't deserve anything less. If this guy were very shy, I would say you should reach out to him but from what you described, I don't think this man is remotely shy. If he wants to get to know you, he will make the effort.

 

[aprescher]

So OP, did you message him? How did it go?

I messaged him. It shows he read it after work but I didn't get a response Oh well! I will just leave it alone and if it happens great and if not, at least I know!

 

[aprescher]

I messaged him. It shows he read it after work but I didn't get a response Oh well! I will just leave it alone and if it happens great and if not, at least I know!

Spoke too soon! Got a response just now thanks all!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I hope you'll let us know how it goes.

 

[HannaBelle]

Spoke too soon! Got a response just now thanks all!