Adventures in special education. Read advice, see frustrations. An attack-free thread

[Linnie The Pooh]

As a former special ed teacher, I can say one of the best things to do during an IEP meeting is to have a picture of the child there. It helps to remind everyone, you're talking about a child, not paperwork. My principal's idea, I can't take the credit.

Also, realize that test scores do not define the child-they are what the child did at that moment in time.

As a mother of a child with special needs, listen to the parents and spend time with the child before you make judgements. There were so many times I read through files and thought I knew the child better than his parents. And it's happened to me as a parent too, the teachers think they know my child better than me. Parents are a HUGE source of information about their child and really know them better than anyone. Sounds simple enough, but hard to remember at times. Keep in mind, you're seeing a different side of the child than the parents might. My son is totally uncomfortable at school and acts very different than he does at home. Try to do home visits if you can.

I hate it when people spend 10 minutes with my child and have him "diagnosed." They think they know what is exactly "wrong" with my son. I've been living with him for 7 years, not counting womb time and I KNOW him.

DS has a great teacher this year, finally. She is very open and tries really hard to get him into the regular classroom. She doesn't pre-determine his successes. I hated it when his former teachers would say, "I'm suprised he can do that at all," or "He won't be able to do that." Try it. See if he CAN. I had a person tell me when he was 2 that the best I could hope for for my son was living in a group home and working in a sheltered workshop. At 2 years old!!! His teacher this year says he'll be able to have indepedence when he's older and is willing to let him have oppotunities to try things, sometimes more than once, to let him spread his wings and fly!!

Good luck and I hope it goes well for you. I've dealt with too many teachers who are into what is easiest for THEM and not for the child. It's not an easy occupation. May God bless you and help you to help the kids!!

 

[roseprincess]

Also, realize that test scores do not define the child-they are what the child did at that moment in time.

As a mother of a child with special needs, listen to the parents and spend time with the child before you make judgements. There were so many times I read through files and thought I knew the child better than his parents. And it's happened to me as a parent too, the teachers think they know my child better than me. Parents are a HUGE source of information about their child and really know them better than anyone. Sounds simple enough, but hard to remember at times. Keep in mind, you're seeing a different side of the child than the parents might. My son is totally uncomfortable at school and acts very different than he does at home. Try to do home visits if you can.

I hate it when people spend 10 minutes with my child and have him "diagnosed." They think they know what is exactly "wrong" with my son. I've been living with him for 7 years, not counting womb time and I KNOW him.

Good luck and I hope it goes well for you. I've dealt with too many teachers who are into what is easiest for THEM and not for the child. It's not an easy occupation. May God bless you and help you to help the kids!!

All of this is so true!!
My dd has some multiple needs, she is special needs,she has some cognitive delays, mainstreamed in a regular classroom since kindergarten with a teacher's aide.
DD's special- ed teacher and regular class teacher push her SO much, actually too much on learning and homework, it is so ridculous.
Last school yr was so bad with this. Dd came home with about 4 different things of homework every night! It literally took 3 hrs/night to get the homework done. The math, she really has problems grasping the concept of the math. Not just adding and subtraction stuff, but word problems, measurement, basic geometry,etc for 3rd grade math. She has some or most of her math homework modified, but her teachers still have very high expectations of her. I don't mind that the teachers push her a little bit, but they were overdoing it and still overdoing it! I try to tell her teachers and teacher's aide in a nice way to not push her so hard, but they do anyways.
Unfortunately, the school my kids go to has a huge thing about the state test scores. Everything in general at the school revolves around test scores.
If there are any low tests scores, it reflects poorly on hte school- according to hte teachers
Anyways, I do agree that sometimes the teachers feel is best what is easier for them and not hte child, at least this is in my dd's case.

Another example, my dd is very strong-willed, on top of all her other stuff.
Every summer, all the kids come home with a summer math packet, to review the math, so they don't regress. I tried to work with dd on her math during hte summer and she freaked! She did not want to do it! Well, dh and I worked with her on her packet and she got it half done. I brought this up to her special ed teacher near the beginning of the school yr this yr and her special ed teacher was a little shocked that dd didn't want to do the math packet! Hello! Special ed teacher has known my child since kindergarten and I have told spec-ed teacher on many, many occasions that dd just doesn't like math and has a fear of math,doesn't always understand the math concepts, and acts alot diffferently at home than at school. Dd is an angel at school but has many tantrums at home and is very fiesty at home.

Anyways, sorry for the vent. But in my case, the special ed teacher does sometimes listen to what I say, but does what she wants, not always best for my dd.
Tho, dd's spec-ed teacher is nice and we get along fairly well overall. We don't always agree, tho, what is best for my dd.

To the OP,best wishes to you, in your teaching endeavors.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

This happened to us when DS was in preschool the first year. An example of how a teacher put her convenience over the child's needs.

I went in to meet with the special ed teacher and the administrator to discuss which class would be best for DS. They told me they had one opening for him and it was in a class where the kids had severe needs. Just the way they said the word severe put me off.

Anyway, DS wasn't potty trained so I said I'd send him in pull ups, but the teacher said "No, we have all the kids who aren't trained wearing diapers. It's easier for us to change them that way."

Well it was easier, but how did that help my child with being independent in the bathroom. At least with pull ups, he could pull his own pants down. I should've said something right then, but I let it go. When I went to dress him for school the first day, I started to put a diaper on him and he just moaned, "Nooooooo." I couldn't do it. I sent him in pull ups, but he'd always come home wearing a diaper. I wonder how much that set him back.

The same teacher came for a home visit and right in front of my son said, "Well, he's definitely autistic." I explained that we'd been to numerous doctors and specialists who said he didn't have autism and she said, "Well, if it isn't autism, then it's something new because he has all the signs and symptoms of it." First off, it wasn't her job to diagnose my son. Secondly, he doesn't have autism, he has auditory processing difficulties that mirror autism. Teachers shouldn't really talk about a child like that in front of them. You never know how much they understand. She was the one who told me "I'm surprised he can ride a trike at all." She should see him now-whizzing down the sidewalk on his bike with no training wheels!!

This teacher just knew everything. Our doctors told me, practically yelled it at me, "Get him out of that class!! It's detrimental to him." So I did.

Have an open mind and always be willing to learn from everyone, students, other teachers, parents etc. is another piece of advice that I'd like to share. It's a very rewarding profession.

 

[MommytoMJM]

If I knew that MJ would get a teacher like you, I'd allow her to go to school (she's homeschooled) No advice, just want to say how awesome it is to have a teacher like you in the system!

 

[FutureMrsC]

I want to thank all of you who have posted!

I completed my second IEP on Friday (the first one without another special ed teacher with me helping me out). Though I made one error w/ the computer program, it went quite well. I felt SO bad for making that mistake... but it was fixed within the hour and the parents were perfectly fine with it... shocked that it was my first solo IEP!

So far, I think I've been making enemies out of other teachers because I ONLY look at what is in the best interest of the child... otherwise, what is an LRE about?!? It almost got to where I acted unprofessionally (luckily, my brain told me to shut my mouth and speak to the teacher away from the parents)... the teacher was trying to push the child into getting things that weren't needed just so she wouldn't have to deal with her. (In her defense, she didn't say anything like that to the parents, but it was SOOOOOO obvious to me what she was doing!). She didn't want to have to rearrange her schedule to accomodate the needs of the student. Anyway... I got that all taken care of (I think)... I hope.

I really do appreciate all of your comments and vents... it's all being filed away in my brain, and being put to good use!

Now, all I need to do is find a SN class that my class can be pen-pals with... my kids are REALLY focused on writing letters now... they love it!

Thanks again! If you have any other suggestions, keep 'em comin!

 

[hookedup]

No problem. Determination is what gets us up in the morning, pour the oatmeal, change the diapers, put on the orthotics, and lug our kids out the door--again. It's what drives us to spend hours in the mini-van toting our kids to PT, OT, Speech, Horse therapy, Water therapy, Pet therapy, Vision therapy. It's what encourages us to keep putting one foot in front of the other, keeping our heads down so we can't see the obstacles down the road, only those directly in our paths. Determination is what helps us bathe and dress our pre-teen, spoon-feed him a snack, tuck him into bed, and get ready to do the same things all over again tomorrow and the next day and the next, to infinity and beyond.

Feel free to use my byline if it fits your life. We do whatever it takes.

I, too, teared up when I read that. God bless all moms and grandmas (and the dads and grandpas too) who make the difference. Who don't give up because we can't. Who lie awake at night wondering and worrying, not about whether my child will make the baseball team, but whether or not he will ever learn to tie his shoes. Worrying if his next teacher will take the time to understand his needs well enough to help him. Worrying if his next teacher will follow the modifications and recommendations in his IEP (yes it does make a difference if he stands at the end of a line instead of the middle, yes it does make a difference if he does heavy work before he tries to sit down and write, yes it does make a difference if has dairy products).

A teacher who is caring and commited to get to know each child and not just focus on weaknesses but also strengths. All of these things help a parent sleep better at night - which then gives us the strength to endure on the next day, and do all we can to help our precious children.

Good luck in your new career - you WILL make a difference!

 

[FutureMrsC]

A teacher who is caring and commited to get to know each child and not just focus on weaknesses but also strengths. All of these things help a parent sleep better at night - which then gives us the strength to endure on the next day, and do all we can to help our precious children.

Good luck in your new career - you WILL make a difference!

Thank you! I know that goals/objectives are based on weaknesses of the student... however, I haven't ever understood (and hopefully, I never will... I don't want that mentality) how you could start off working on things that the student doesn't know, and have them be aware of that... to have them shut down because it's new, it's different, or it's hard. I attack each day with a review and an activity that I 100% know that ALL my students will be able to complete by themselves, just so they can get a boost in self-esteem. As they grow, things will get harder, and I think everybody, nd and sn, needs to have SOMETHING they can do in order to boost their self esteem.

Off I go to teach my kiddos!

 

[BeccaGrace]

Congrats on your new job; it sounds like you are doing wonderfully.

Since you are teaching younger kids the only thing I thought of that wasn't mentioned yet is daily communication. My dd is still in pre-K and her entire child study team has been wonderful... the only thing that bugged me last year was that I wasn't getting any daily feedback. She couldn't tell me what she was doing every day or if there were any problems. The teacher she has now is wonderful about just telling me at the end of class, "Becca played with dolls today" or "Becca seemed a little tired today"...just a few seconds makes me at least feel less separated from her and helps me give her a few leading questions that she might be able to respond to so we can talk about her day.

Even with great conferences and IEPs it's hard on a daily basis to not know how your child's time in school went. I know a few kids have a daily notebook where the teacher writes down what they did and if there were issues; I am fine with the teacher telling me as Becca runs out that she had a good day and was talking; that does so much to let me know that I am doing the right thing with school.

Thanks for starting this thread and showing how much you care about your new job; good luck with everything!

 

[vhoffman]

I wish I could find a kind, caring special ed teacher for my ds9, but they don't seem to exist in our school system. As of today, he's out of the school and being homeschooled.

They've had him 5 years and he reads at a 1.3 gradel level. Somehow it makes sense to them. I asked them how he's supposed to do 4th grade work when, by their own testing, he's several grades behind? Their answer is that he has one hour a day of resource, which is supposed to fill in that gap. Well, it just doesn't. The whole set up is a farce. The resource teacher doesn't even pace the lessons in the class. She does a few worksheets with him, looks like she's just marking time, then he's sent back to 4th grade and expected to function at that level. They tell me he's a behavior problem. They say his problem is that he refuses to do his work, so therefore he's not respectful of his teachers. I've pointed out to them time and again the reason he refuses to do the work is because its beyond his capability, not because he wants to be "disrespectful". So now every move he makes is somehow seen in a negative light, it seems they're just looking for something to gig him with. I never get feedback as to his academic performance, just notes to the effect 'wasn't on task", "failed to follow directions", etc.

I've tried everything to work with the school and am tired of beating my head against a brick wall. Every day he's in there is just an exercise in misery for him. Seems special ed has turned into a numbers game. The student isn't what matters, its the paperwork!

 

[FutureMrsC]

I'm not frustrated with the parents that I've spoken to... however, I am frustrated because I most likely have scabies. I will know tomorrow @ my Dr's appointment. I'm so lucky that I took the student to the nurse. They've already been treated, however you're contagious for up to 8 weeks before the rash surfaces. I have a streaky rash that looks similar to some pictures that I've seen online, and I itch SO bad. I'll cross my fingers that it's psychosematic, but I doubt that it is

Argh. The frustration...

 

[vhoffman]

Much has been said here about the non communicative parents. I'd like to add my side of that story.

My ds started kindergarten with no suspicions of any learning disability. He had spent 2 years in pre-school without a single complaint. The first day of kindergarten, I got a phone call. I consider myself an active, involved parent who is very concerned with my child's education. Naturally, I returned the phone call and had a 45 minute conversation with the teacher, leaving me drained and confused. Seemed she was calling more to vent than anything. She went on and on about how ds threw food, sharpened his pencil too much, played in the bathroom, etc. Honestly, I was at a loss as to what to tell her. I listened politely and tried to offer suggestions. That was my mistake! Once she found I would listen, she called almost every day, with nit-picky things. I tried as best I could to work with her, but it seemed she didn't want my suggestions, just wanted to vent. I realize now, looking back, that my listening just encouraged her picking. No, it wasn't like she was trying to work with us to find ways to deal with ds, she wouldn't even consider my suggestions. Finally, I realized that I had made myself too available and she was taking advantage of it. I had ds transferred to another class the second half of the year, and the complaints stopped. Well, actually, the second teacher tried to call with complaints, etc., but I distanced myself somewhat. I did respond to her, but not immediately. I let her "tell it to the answering machine". Then, when I got back with her, the issue was stale and she'd moved on.

Ds has since been diagnosed with ADHD. I suspect dyslexia and am in the process of having him tested, at our own expense. I never once received any communication from the school concerning such possibilities. Never once did the school even consider he might have a learning disability. Instead, it was one phone call after another about some minor behavioral problem that they could/should have handled. Please remember, I did my best to respond to their concerns and work with them. However, I finally realized they had no intention of working with me! I realized my communications with them just encouraged more petty picking.

I'll probably get flamed for this--yes, I know, communication is essential, the parent is part of the team, etc., but try to remember I tried honestly and sincerely to work with them. I finally distanced myself for my ds sake, because they were just getting on his case constantly. If some special ed teachers wonder why some parents don't seem concerned or involved, perhaps they've had experiences like mine. Perhaps they have learned to back off for the kid's sake. Sorry, I know that's not the way things are supposed to work in a perfect world, but teachers aren't perfect, anymore than my ds is.

Just remember, Mrs. C, not to penalize parents for attempts at involvement in their children's education to the point they feel the best thing they can do is stay away. I'm not attacking you, its just that you asked for advice. I really think you're sincere in wanting to make a real career of teaching, not just a job. If this is your first year of teaching you're still feeling your way in dealing with everyone, students, parents, adminiastration. I'm sorry to say you'll find things don't always go in the student's favor. You seem to be a lovely person with a great attitude! Keep being the way you are and I'm sure you'll do fine! I just wanted to give my insight based on my experiences as to why parents might not always seem as involved/concerned as one would hope them to be!

 

[shades]

My daughter was on an IEP for 10 years. It began with a DODDs (dept of defense) preschool overseas. My daughter was 3yrs old and I couldn't understand about 95% of what she was saying to me - so I took her to a peds doc and he referred to for an evaluation with a speech therapist. She was also a preemie (4lbs) and I was a single mom (factored into her eligibility for preschool at the time). So, this begins our longgg journey to where she now in 9th grade and doing extremely well in school.

Some things I liked about her special services teachers:
- First preschool teacher didn't believe dd was ready for k-garten after 2 yrs of preschool. She recommended and fought for dd to remain in her class for another school year AND be enrolled in k-garten at the same time, thus giving her a full day of structured school. She also helped me get dd transferred from a "not so great" k-garten class to the "best" class. All of this occurred at the same meeting and it was a 3 hour meeting of knocking heads and battling it out with the school principal, superintendent, and a child psychologist from the base clinic. Eventually, the school superintendent literally threw her hands up in the air, stood up and announced "give the parent what she wants because DODDS will not go into arbitration over this" and walked out. The preschool teacher was instrumental in making this happen for my daughter.

- Second special services teacher (relocated back to the U.S.) was UNBELIEVABLE!! My daughter was in the 1st grade and still didn't know the alphabet. I'm not talking about putting the letters in order, I'm talking about how she couldn't even recognize or verbalize all of the letters. By the end of the first grade, my daughter was reading books.

---Still on second teacher, she was young and fresh out of school. She had tons of great ideas and the patience and initiative to help the kids. While I was deployed and my dd was stuck with a sitter for 6 weeks, this teacher understood the stress dd was under. She took extra special care of my dd and would keep her for an extra hour or two on some of the days while I was gone and just let her have fun time in the safety & comfort of the resource room. She would let dd color and give her M&Ms and just let her hangout and relax. So that dd wouldn't get behind in her regular classroom, this special teacher would get the assignments from her 1st grade teacher and would help dd accomplish them in her resource room. My dd excelled under this teacher! After working with her for 3 years, dd developed a passion for reading and writing. Not only was she caught up with her peers, she was getting very good grades.

--Third teacher at a new school re-evaluated dd and decided that she no longer qualified for services, but - agreed to keep her on an IEP with a weekly check in progress. DD's grades took a sharp dive. She struggled in math and I couldn't figure out how to help her. We moved again and this made the situation worse.

--Fourth teacher re-evaluated and put dd back on 1 hour of services each week. DD was supposed to take any work to his classroom that she didn't understand and get help. The teacher was never around - just his volunteer helpers (moms). We struggled for 3 years to keep dd going and then we moved overseas. DD was re-evaluated and dropped from the IEP program at my insistance.

Things I didn't like:
- DD was a "biter" and one special ed teacher tried to combat this problem by biting the kids herself when a child would bite another child. This teacher was dd's first teacher - an awsome teacher with many years of experience and education and 4 or 5 kids of her own. Her preschool classes were for special kids and some with many more needs than my dd's. So, I don't know if this is the standard protocol for dealing with this issue - but, I kind of doubt it. Besides, it didn't work. DD was still a biter until she finally outgrew it at about 5yrs old.

- One special ed teacher who told kids to bring their homework &/or work to the classroom for help created a "this kid is special so don't penalize them for not turning in their homework" environment at her school. DD learned quickly that she could use this as a cop out for not completing assignments because she was "special".

OP: I bet you are going to be like mine and dd's favorite teacher! You sound like you really want to do what is best for your kids! I know you have a tough job and the lack of parental involvement must not only make your job that much more difficult (because we know these kids need way more time spent with them practicing what they are learning than what you can provide in a day at school) - but, also that much more heart wrenching to observe. I always hated it when I went to dd's school activities and saw the same kids with no parents. It's so sad! Anyway - best of luck to you!!

 

[sanddune]

I'm not frustrated with the parents that I've spoken to... however, I am frustrated because I most likely have scabies. I will know tomorrow @ my Dr's appointment. I'm so lucky that I took the student to the nurse. They've already been treated, however you're contagious for up to 8 weeks before the rash surfaces. I have a streaky rash that looks similar to some pictures that I've seen online, and I itch SO bad. I'll cross my fingers that it's psychosematic, but I doubt that it is

Argh. The frustration...

Sorry to hear that your sick! I hope you feel better soon! Keep up the good work!

 

[vhoffman]

Oh, to have a teacher like Mrs. C! It just didn't work out like that for us. I've taken my son out of public school and am homeschooling him.

I certainly don't suggest everyone with a SN child throw up their hands at the system and homeschool. There are some great programs, teachers, etc. out there. For us, the school actually seemed to be a bottleneck to his learning! I'm doing better without trying to deal with them.

I'm currently having ds tested for a variety of problems, including dyslexia. There is no test for dyslexia, but rather a series of educational and phychlogical tests that put together create a profile of a child's learning needs. I'm not dealing with some weird splinter group, we're going through Scottish Rite, which is the gold standard for dyslexia and related learning disabilities.

I'm also working with a speech/language pathologist to diagnose/treat possible auditory processing disorders and related issues. There again, we're going to reliable experts. These are all issues I just couldn't get the school to acknowledge, let alone deal with. I'm not giving up, I'm refocusing my efforts.

I guess I'm just venting here, nothing much to relate to the OP, however, I find the comments of other posters interesting. Its interesting to see that many others have had similar experiences (good and bad!). I fully to reintegrate ds in the school system at some point. I feel he does need the interaction that only school can provide. However, I want to bring him to a level where he can participate fully in the school environment. I hope Mrs. C continues to post here about her experiences as a special ed teacher. Her insight is valuable to all of us. She's a special lady. I wish her well

 

[FutureMrsC]

It's really nice to know that what I'm doing seems right. It feels right, but it's always nice to have validation.

Here's what I learned today:

I will never EVER hold another student's hand. After freaking out about potentially having scabies , which resulted in a very itchy sleepless night, as well as a VERY slap-happy-tired school day , I had to wait until school ended to go to the Dr... no, I don't have scabies, however, I still have a parasite and have to endure the scabies treatment.

All in all, it was definitely a learning experience. The only reason I held this student's hand was because the administration directed me to, due to the fact that he would run away and hide, to avoid doing what he was instructed- he likes to control things. Regardless, I'm going to talk to the administration (as well as his case manager) to find another alternative. I don't particularly want to catch anything else!

On another note... one of my parents sent me a WONDERFUL email praising everything that I've done for her son. His doctors have commented on his improved behavior, and he's using the skills that I'm teaching him in my behavior class at home. It made my day!

Thanks for reading my vent, and again, thank you to all of you who post! Feel FREE to vent about something that happens to you/your kids related to school... as you know, I really want to learn!

And yes... this is my first year EVER as a teacher.

 

[Talking Hands]

I will never EVER hold another student's hand. After freaking out about potentially having scabies , which resulted in a very itchy sleepless night, as well as a VERY slap-happy-tired school day , I had to wait until school ended to go to the Dr... no, I don't have scabies, however, I still have a parasite and have to endure the scabies treatment.

As a substitute teacher who works primarily with special ed kids, I highly doubt you will be able to do this. There are times when you really need to hold a kids hand. Maybe its a runner. Maybe the child just needs a hug. Maybe you have to control him during a meltdown to keep him from self abusing or hurting others.
And if you ever work with deaf or hard of hearing students you will need to touch them just to get their attention. I have gotten head lice and ring worm from students. And colds, the flu and other nasties. But I will never give up working with the kids.

 

[belle&beast]

As a substitute teacher who works primarily with special ed kids, I highly doubt you will be able to do this. There are times when you really need to hold a kids hand. Maybe its a runner. Maybe the child just needs a hug. Maybe you have to control him during a meltdown to keep him from self abusing or hurting others.
And if you ever work with deaf or hard of hearing students you will need to touch them just to get their attention. I have gotten head lice and ring worm from students. And colds, the flu and other nasties. But I will never give up working with the kids.

I agree! I am a speech pathologist in a preschool and I hold lots of little hands, get lots of hugs, wipe lots of runny noses and slobbery mouths and I wouldn't change a thing! I do wash my hands- A LOT- and I use antibacterial lotion all the time. You will find what works for you!

 

[FutureMrsC]

Maybe I didn't ever completely explain myself... I ADORE my students... honestly. Even though I'm new and this is my first year, I'm repeatedly referred to as the constantly happy one. I have one runner(the student who infected me), one bully, and several other students with varying disabilities. There isn't anything that will stop me from working with them!

Even though this is my first year officially teaching, I've had multiple years of experience with varying exceptionalities: hearing impaired, blind/visually impaired, autism/aspbergers, emotional behavioral disorder, speech/language impairment, learning disabilities, mental impairments. I've cought strep, the flu, multiple stomach bugs, and far too many colds to count. I know what my job can entail... if I didn't, I wouldn't have taken the job to begin with.

I wash my hands/arms (up to my elbows) as frequently as I can (which is about every 30-45 minutes... during our class changes)... any more frequent and I'd feel like I was doing more hand-washing than teaching! My skin happens to be extremely sensitive to many things and prone to illness apparently. I've been diagnosed with psoriasis, eczema, seborrheic dermatitis, and one other thing that I can't come close to spelling... and I'm also prone to allergy problems. My Doctor has advised that I avoid hand-holding and other prolonged contact with my students as much as I can in order to prevent further problems, given my sensitivity.

Trying to be proactive, I asked her for other solutions... she really didn't have any other advice than to limit my contact.

Honestly, I'm not stupid. I'm quite aware that there will be circumstances that will require me to hold a child's hand... however, my frustrations are really centered around working with one particular student... Though I did say "Never EVER", I really mean that I will only do so if it is truly necessary. Today, I worked with the student who infected me. I harbor no feelings towards him... I don't blame him for what happened- I don't blame anyone. When we walked down the hall, I held on to his shirt sleeve. THAT worked. I feel safer holding something that is covered... that's one extra safety layer to keep his skin away from mine. It fulfilled it's purpose of keeping them from running away and getting them back into their inclusion classroom.

When I started this thread, I posted asking for advice from parents on likes/dislikes of their teachers. I vented last night only to share my frustrations from catching this VERY itchy problem. Even though I've been treated, I will most likely itch for 2 more weeks.

Perhaps the posts that seemed insulting to me as a teacher were only meant to be helpful... but to me, the way they were written only suggests that I'm a special ed teacher who was only hired because they were a warm body... "what does she know about doing this? she must think that she will be able to never physically deal with her students... what an idiot." And that is one thing that I am not.

Dreadfully sorry for this incredibly long post, but I really feel like my intelligence has been attacked.

Thank you to those who have also PMed me to offer advice and words of encouragement throughout the longevity of this (rather short lived) post... you know who you are!

Now... if anyone floating around is a dermatologist or has similar skin issues and has tips for dealing with skin like mine, PLEASE give me all the advice you can. I don't know all that much about skin problems - mine have only popped up within the last 3-5 years.

Please, let's try to keep this a happy thread geared for either parents venting about what their students' teachers are doing (so that teachers like myself can read and learn) and teachers that post about what goes on in their little worlds... this thread has already provided lots of tips/advice for me and allowed me to see through the parent's perspective. I would love for it eventually benefit other people... maybe it has already!

Keep the advice /vents comin' I'm ready to learn more!

No more flames/attacks...

 

[vhoffman]

Here's another story concerning parental involvement--or lack of it. I just wanted to share some real life experiences that might help you understand things from a parent's point of view.

At our school you can buy a book for the library and have it presented on your birthday. They make a big deal of it, with thi child's picture on a poster, etc. A nameplate goes in the book, stating it was donated by ***** on his birthday. Well, for first grade I purchased as birthday book for ds. I didn't get to actually pick out the book. I just paid the money, (about $30), and they said an "appropriate" book would be picked from recent acquisitons. Well, I trusted their judgment. Fortunately, we got to be the first ones to check out the book. We were appalled! I won't go into detail, but it was totally unacceptable for a children's library, at least in my opinion. My ds actually started crying and said everyone would laugh at him because his name was in the book.

Well, my first reaction would be to go to the library and protest, and ask for a new book. Then I thought it through. My protests would be a criticism of the school librarian and whoever she reports to who approved her book list. Of course, they would smile and nod, say things like "thanks for sharing your opinon", etc., they would also replace the birthday book with another one, and my child's name would be mud from then on! Once a school gets it in for a kid it never ends! Instead, I said we had lost the book and bought another one (although we had paid for the first one ). Just whatever it took to close out the issue without incurring ill will that would never end.

You might be frustrated at the apparent lack of parental support and involvement. While I can't speak for all parents , I do know that I did a 180 degree turn in attitude after some experiences with the school. I've learned its very political, and some teachers are very nit picky and quick to offend, slow, if ever, to forgive. The worse thing a parent can do is set their kid up. Perhaps, just perhaps, some of the non-involved parents in your situation have learned the hard way, like me, to steer clear of any involvement that could backfire. Just a point of view!

 

[FutureMrsC]

You know, vhoffman, I hadn't ever considered that! It really makes sense. I don't think that that's the case with the parents of my students, but I can certainly see where it might be that way in the future! (Yet another thing I've added to my memory bank )

Thanks for getting my little thread back on topic