Adoption Questions

[mkymouse1928]

Hello!

My husband and I are considering adoption as a way to start our family. I have been doing some research, and I am totally overwhelmed with the types, the requirements, the costs, etc. Is there anyone out there who can point me towards a good forum for asking questions, and talking with others in our situation. I am particularly looking for something that is Cincinnati based. I would also be interested in the names of any adoption attorneys, preferably in the Cincinnati area.

I know there are a lot of adoptive families who frequent the DIS, so I thought this would be a good place to start. Thanks in advance for all your help.

Jessica

 

[disney_family_1247]

We started the process to adopt a newborn in our home state in June '08. After much research, we decided that we have issues with for-profit adoption agencies, so we chose a non-profit. The fact that we have one locally helped We are open to a baby of any race, and the social worker predicts that we won't wait longer than a year to have a baby placed with us. The costs are extremely low when compared to most agencies (another benefit of non-profits). We are going to spend $6,200 on the entire adoption.

Good luck in your search. So far, waiting is the hardest part!

 

[LadyShea]

I always suggest starting with your state's department of health and human services. They will be able to give information about foster-to-adopt and/or adopting from the child welfare system which is usually free (contrary to popular belief, toddlers and infants are often available for adoption), give information on pre and post adoption support services available, as well as should have a list of licensed agencies and attorneys and specific laws and criteria in your state.

 

[star sweeper]

There is so much information to process. We have two children that are adopted internationally. Your main three choices are domestic adoption, foster-to-adopt, and international adoption.

A great forum is http://forums.adoption.com. It has information on every type of adoption, countries to adopt from, and views from adoptive parents, birthparents, and adoptees. You will find a wealth of information there.

BTW, I would be happy to answer questions you may have about our process to adopt.

 

[Marek 4]

May I say THANK YOU from all the adopted children out there. My sister and I were so blessed to have the most wonderful family in the world adopt us!

 

[Bibbidi]

Our church (north of Cincy) is actually just starting an adoption group for families considering adoption. Our associate pastor has twins she adopted a couple years ago from Guatemala herself. You might try looking for churches that have support groups like this--seems like a good place to find families who've already adopted and could share some experiences firsthand.

 

[JESW]

Have you thought of fostering-to-adopt? My brother and his wife adopted 5 children that way last year. First was a 3 year old and then a sibling group of 4 with ages 2 - 16.

Good luck to you!!

Jill

 

[Deffenm]

We have 3 wonderful children that we adopted through our local Children Services agency. We did not foster to adopt just straight adoption. Our first son was 2 when we got him and he is now 8. We then adopted DD 5 (who was 2 at the time) and DS 9 (who was 7). We thought long and hard about which way to go and decided that we did not need a baby we just wanted to be parents. Our children could talk, had a personality, slept through the night and we only did diapers fo 6 months with DS, DD was already potty-trained. We could take them places and see their enjoyement from day 1. We may not have gotten to hear their first word, or see them take their first steps, but we got to take them to WDW for the first time, take them to their very first resteraunt, introduce them to chinese food, and camping. We have had so many wonderful firsts for us. We live in Columbus, OH and I know there are some good adoption agencies up here if you are willing to travel I can obtain some names for you. Good luck to you and if you have any questions just ask. I love sharing with people how we became a family.

 

[mkymouse1928]

Thanks for all of the responses. We are just starting this process and it all seems so overwhelming. Foster to adopt is definitely a possibility. It is helpful having someone who has been through the process before to give a little nudge in the right direction, so I do appreciate everything you have all had to say. I will be sure to ask more questions as they arise, and will keep you all informed of where we are in the process!

 

[cjordan08]

I'm touched your thinking of others and wanting to adopt!
Were you able to have your own children?..
Do you have a specific age of adoption?
--sorry for being sort of nosey lol.
I wish you the best of luck.

 

[crisi]

I'd start by making some lists. There are some basics:

Are you interested in domestic or foreign?
How much are you willing/able to spend?
Are you open to race?
Are you open to special needs?
What are your age requirements for a child?

Also start listing some things about you - those may close some doors. For instance, some international options close to older couples. Some programs are not open if you've been divorced.

Go to the open house/information meeting at a general purpose agency near you. They will start by answering some basic questions and giving you some framework to deal with it. If there are several agencies by you, go to a few open houses because each agency will have some different perspectives.

Once you are able to narrow things down a little, then you'll be able to ask more specific questions - adoption as a foster care option for older kids has very little to do with a private domestic adoption of a newborn (except for the legal processes) or international adoption.

What will be very similar:

You will need a homestudy done by a social worker. Requirements vary by state.
You will need to go through the legal adoption process - which will vary by state.

These are pretty much the only two consistent factors in adoption.

 

[Lucky'sMom]

Our 3 youngest children are "homemade" , and in the fall of '07 we adopted the two oldest (teenage boys!) from Russia. Our church sponsors their orphanage and the younger one was our "sponsor child". We just saw so much potential and goodness in them, and knew they had a very dreary life ahead if they were to stay there. It has gone wonderfully for us, but we know of another family that did the same thing with a teenage girl, and it has gone terribly. She is actually living in foster care right now.

My best advice when looking at the overwhelming adoption process is to try to just take each piece at a time. Initially, just think about what type of adoption you want to pursue (foreign or domestic). Then once you begin the process, only worry about each thing as it comes. The huge amount of paperwork comes first. Just do a little each day...it's so satisfying when it's done. Everything will fall into place little by little. Best wishes to you and your husband!

 

[QueueCT]

I'd start by making some lists. There are some basics:

Are you interested in domestic or foreign?
How much are you willing/able to spend?
Are you open to race?
Are you open to special needs?
What are your age requirements for a child?

Also start listing some things about you - those may close some doors. For instance, some international options close to older couples. Some programs are not open if you've been divorced.

This is some good advice. I'd also recommend that you think about how comfortable you are with open vs. closed adoptions. That will further serve to narrow things down.

 

[Judy Judy Judy]

A lady in my church has been fostering children off and on for two years in hopes of adopting a child. Three months ago she finailly got her wish, there was a baby boy 4 months old, shaken baby, two broke legs and a broken arm, she was able to adopt for 300.00. He is the sweetest, cutest, best baby and she is in hog heaven. He seens to have no problems now from all the abuse he suffered. Just last Sunday he laughed and made baby sounds during preaching, it did my heart good to see this!!!!!!!!

GOOD LUCK, there are children out there that need to be loved!!!!!!

 

[csnkrushin]

Hi,

We have two children that joined our family through adoption, our son was born in Russia and our daughter was born in our state.

The best advise I can give you is to find a support group that you are comfortable with. In our area we have the Adoptive Parent Committee (Ct,NY & NJ) Ideally it would be a group with people in all stages of adoption. Some just like yourself who are just begining to explore to people like me who have successfully adopted. These people can help you with answering questions on types of adoptions, what agencies to use and which to stay away from, how to tell family and friends, how to answer invasive questions. They can really be a great resource. And a bonus - we've made some really wonderful friends!


Best of Luck to you

 

[I Believe n Fairies]

My close friends just became 2nd time parents through domestic adoption a couple weeks ago. Their oldest is a 3yo daughter and their newest addition is a newborn little boy. Both were with private adoption agencies.

They were looking to adopt a little girl in foster care, but the courts were not ready to place her yet and there was still a small chance custody would go back to the birth mother. In their experience, going through our state department was hard. Too hard, for them.

Look into private agencies. They are more expensive, but they work very hard to screen the birth moms to ensure their decision. To see my friends family grow through adoption in the past three years has been such a blessing to see. Also, both children are biracial, not sure if this has any bearing on your decision. But, when I look at their precious little ones, I only see my friends kids. It makes no difference to them or me or any of our friends that the kids looks a little different from their mommy and daddy. These kids were meant by God to be with my friends, I have NO doubt.

 

[Momof4DisneyLuvrs]

There is a lot of really good advice here. Honestly, I don't think I have any more to add.

Our youngest daughter joined us through adoption last year. She is just a little ray of sunshine. My children range from 14-2. She was born in China and the process took us almost 3 years. It has increased dramatically since we started. That being said, it was the best decision we made for our family. We can hardly imagine life before her!

Our Disney vacation in May is to celebrate our 1 year anniversary us becoming a Forever Family.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[h518may]

Both of my children were adopted through foster/adopt. We got our DS at nine days old and adopted right before he turned 2. We picked our DD up from the hospital and adopted at 18 months. DS is now 5 and DD is now 3.

If foster/adopt is an interest and you want more info try http://fosterparents.com/CHAT/

If you have any questions I could answer just ask.

 

[almburr]

I a family adopts from another country will that child be a US citizen automaticly? I ask because a lady in our area has moved back from Brazil with her husband and they had adopted 3children from Brazil. Someone stated that they will be working on trying to get citizenship. It just a question.

 

[DISNEYNV]

It is wonderful that all of you who have, or are thinking, of adoption can open your homes and hearts to these kids in need! I think it is great to be willing to adopt an older child who deserves as much love and a stable home life as an newborn does. Good luck to all who are in the adoption process...infant OR teen. It's a wonderful thing to do for a child in need of a loving parents More people should be so open with their hearts and minds.