ADHD parents....

[Mermaid02]

My son has problems including ADHD and possibly bipolar. He is almost 10. One of his biggest ADHD symptoms is impulse control. He still has to hold my hand crossing the street etc or he just might stop in the middle of the road to pick up something shiny in the street KWIM? He's having a problem raising his hand in class and not just blurting things out. I went a few rounds with the Principal this morning because he wanted to keep him in for recess as a punishment. First of all, don't punish the kid for something he can't control and second, the worst thing you can do to an ADHD kid is take away his recess. The Principal actually LAUGHED at me when I told him that he was NOT to take away his recess. I then told him my son's psychiatrist had many articles with some ideas on how to deal with his symptoms. I'm so frustrated. The Principal has told me quite a few times he thinks this is "willful" behavior even thought I have 3 docs and a therapist that say it isn't.

Then the school nurse called me and QUESTIONED the way the CHILD PSYCHIATRIST has prescribed my sons medication. We see this doctor twice a month and she knows what she's doing.

I need to call the state capital and get a Special Needs Advocate. I feel like the school is totally against us.

 

[Poohgirl]

I feel for what your going through. My DS10's behavior sounds much like yours. Mornings are almost unbearable to get him ready. He is extremely impulsive, very difficult to deal with, almost defiant at times. But I know he doesn't mean to do many of these things because he gets very upset with himself afterward, thinking he is stupid etc. Very sad.

You know your child, and his behavior. I second the need for an advocate if you feel like your not getting anywhere with the school. Maybe you could get a 504 plan for him, if ADHD qualifies in your area.

I hope things start to go better for you.

 

[chris1gill]

Your situations are very sad It's too bad the principal doesn't understand your doctors orders.... But, is your son in a mainstreamed classroom? If so I would think that the impulsive behavior must distract the other students in the classroom? Perhaps that is what the principal is trying to focus on, and he's just not doing a good job at juggling the predicament?

 

[mickeyboat]

I know absolutely nothing about this!

But I can see how the school is between a rock and a hard place. How can they punish Susie for not raising her hand, and not punish your son? Is there a 504 plan in place which addresses what should be done when something like this happens? I don't know what the solution is, but I would be interested in hearing others' experiencess.

Denae

 

[got2travel]

You need to ask the school or the district for an evaluation under the 504 plan. Do this formally, in writing. They have a specfied timeframe of when they have to respond and schedule an evaluation. Most districts have a special education advocate. Yes, they generally deal with mentally or physically disabled, but they can be a great resource for learning what types of programs are available.

As a parent of an ADHD child whose main problem is impulse control, I can totally feel your pain.

 

[Keggy]

This is my 6 year old nephew. He has been diagnosed with bi-polar. They originally thought it was ADHD. My sister went through a year of *HECK* with the school. He is finally not mainstreamed and he is in a special class and he is doing very well there. The teacher he had in the mainstream classroom had 0 patience and 0 skills to deal with him.

 

[tw1nsmom]

No, a child shouldn't be punished for behavior directly relating to their disability.

Does your DS have a 504 or an IEP? A functional behavior assesment should be done to determine his specific behavior issues. A positive reinforcement based behavior plan should be implemented. He should be redirected when he behaves in an inappropriate way. He shoulld not be penalized.

What are some of the things that help him focus at home? Does he need breaks outside the classroom where he can run around and blow off steam? Does he need something he can quietly fidget with at his desk, like a stress ball? Does he need someone to do verbal/nonverbal reminders/signals of what kind of behavior is expected?

If he has an IEP, call a meeting and have them write into it that they can't withhold recess as a punishment. with IDEA 2004 they must use research proven methods and the research refutes the efficacy of using aversive punishment/therapy to change behavior.

If he doesn't have an IEP he needs a 504 immediately. Even without it he's covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act. You wouldn't punish a child with Turrettes who has verbal ticks. You would give him tools to remove himself from situations that exaccerbate them. You wouldn't punish a blind child for bumping into people. You would give her the tools to navigate in her environment (seeing eye dog, one-on-one aide, teach cane skills). You also wouldn't punish a child with ADHD for having poor impulse control. You give him the tools/environment with which he can succeed (access to an aide, behavior therapy, sensory pillow, stress ball, ability to walk around in the back of the class, sensory breaks, positive reinforcement, clear expectations explained, verbal/nonverbal reminders).

Request, in writing, a committee on special education meeting. At that meeting have the district physician be present (ussually need 72 hours notice for that request), as well as the nurse, principal, and any specialist from your side (or at least detailed reports). I would make it very clear that the nurse is not to question the medication that your son's doctor has prescribed. It's not her job.

 

[MushyMushy]

Twinsmom has great advice. You need to specifically ask for a behavior plan, otherwise they can certainly punish your son by withholding recess if they want. You need to get all this written in the 504 or IEP as a behavior plan.

 

[Mermaid02]

Thanks for the responses everyone. Funny someone mentioned Tourette's as I made this analogy today to my mother. He can't help blurting things out. At least he isn't swearing etc.

We have a 504 plan but didn't include recess..... I think I will request that. We are in the process of having MANY evaluations and will undoubtedly have an IEP when we are done. My son has a disability- a "hidden" disability but a disability nonetheless. My son has an IQ of 138 and is in the regular classroom. I'm sure he can be distracting- and he is easily distracted. I'm not sure what they are going to do.

The afternoon we left for Christmas Break my son went into the office to retrieve his medication bottle and the Principal gave it to him. The Principal said, "Have a good vacation Jack. And good luck to your parents dealing with all of you Jackness" I was appalled, I stuck my head in the door so he would KNOW I heard him and I said, "Actually my Mother took vacation next week to watch him, I have to work." The man looked like a deer caught in the headlights. What he said told me that he doesn't take Jack's problems seriously and it was inappropriate and unprofessional. He mocked my son's disability.

I'm very frustrated.

 

[AKL_Megs]

My son has problems including ADHD and possibly bipolar. He is almost 10. One of his biggest ADHD symptoms is impulse control. He still has to hold my hand crossing the street etc or he just might stop in the middle of the road to pick up something shiny in the street KWIM? He's having a problem raising his hand in class and not just blurting things out. I went a few rounds with the Principal this morning because he wanted to keep him in for recess as a punishment. First of all, don't punish the kid for something he can't control and second, the worst thing you can do to an ADHD kid is take away his recess. The Principal actually LAUGHED at me when I told him that he was NOT to take away his recess. I then told him my son's psychiatrist had many articles with some ideas on how to deal with his symptoms. I'm so frustrated. The Principal has told me quite a few times he thinks this is "willful" behavior even thought I have 3 docs and a therapist that say it isn't.

Then the school nurse called me and QUESTIONED the way the CHILD PSYCHIATRIST has prescribed my sons medication. We see this doctor twice a month and she knows what she's doing.

I need to call the state capital and get a Special Needs Advocate. I feel like the school is totally against us.

Is your child's principal aware that exercise helps strengthen the mylen (the sheath that protects and helps connect vital receptors in our brains that form pathways of memory of the things we learn) in growing brains? My Psych professor told our class that the most vital class we have in early elementary school is recess and P.E., as the activity helps our brains remember what we have learned, through the strengthening of the mylen. Just a thought.

 

[unbroken chain]

It sounds like you will have things covered with the IEP, etc.

What if instead of missing recess he runs laps? He needs the exercise - giving recess up just makes his behavior worse, not better. That's a pretty basic thing for the school system to need to understand, even in situations where he may be deliberately misbehaving (understanding that in most situations, it is impulsivity, not deliberate misbehavior).

When does your system do identification of gifted students? With a 138 IQ, he may be BORED in the regular class, making his behavior worse, because he's just not engaged.

I'm lucky to be in a great school system and my ADD child has had wonderful, sensitive, understanding teachers. She was identified gifted by the school system and I was worried about her keeping up in the gifted class, but the gifted teacher said she has had many ADD kids and they tend to do a lot BETTER in the gifted class. They're interested and engaged, and that makes all the difference. Those with poorer grades in the regular class, but testing as gifted, can get better grades in the gifted class because their mind isn't wandering while the teacher covers something they already know.

Remember, it's not really attention "deficit" disorder, but attention "variability" disorder. They're only not paying attention when they're bored. They can't focus on something that doesn't capture their attention. If they're excited and interested, they're paying MORE attention than the average person. So he may do really well in a gifted class.

 

[snowwite]

Get as much written information as possible and make copies for the school (check CHADD and Fedration for special neds sites for links). The prinicipal is ignorant if he is trying to punish a child for his symptoms. Ask if he plans to punish an epileptic if he has a seizure or a diabetic with hypoglycemia or an asthmatic having trouble breathing. He would say of course not.Well,ADHD and ADD are diagnoses and he needs to be educated.Do not back off. My DS school probably hates me but I am his advocate and will bug them as often as I need to just to be sure he gets a FAPE as per the law.

 

[Cindy B]

Thanks for the responses everyone. Funny someone mentioned Tourette's as I made this analogy today to my mother. He can't help blurting things out. At least he isn't swearing etc.

I've had tourette's students in the past. When you see the cursing and such on TV, well.. I've never seen that. Its more of facial tics, maybe something similiar to autistic stemming, but never ever swearing!

 

[flying_babyb]

I like the running laps thing. There was a kid when I was in school who used to do this at lunch due to the fact he had ADD and would yell and talk to much. The teacher didnt want him to be punished for somthing he couldnt controll but the other parents were making a huge stink out of the fact the child could "get away" with it but there child couldnt. So insted of punsihment they made him spend his lunch recess getting "extra help". This made the other parents feel like the child was being punished when really he was still getting his free time. The gym teacher would hang out in the gym and supervise him. He was allowed to run laps, play basketball and do all the fun gym class stuff that he loved so much.

Mabey this would be somthing that could work for your son. Perhaps if he has a close freind or two they could join him so hes not alone when playing? I agree with everyone about the 504. Donna mom (my best freinds mom) is a middle school special edu teacher with most of her kids being bbetween 10-15

 

[chris1gill]

I really like the last post about running in the gym, course my son would love to do that anyways LOL.... but it seems like a course of action, that could have some benefit.... also, I agree, has his IQ been tested? It came back at 138, well, that's another one of your problems, a typical classroom won't address that either...

This brings to mind a girl from one of my daughter's dance classes, she could not keep up, she couldn't keep from throwing herself crying on the floor at the age of 6, she made the class MISERABLE.... Terrible in fact... finally, they had to put two teachers & the school owner in there towards the end of the year... Anyhow, this same girl quit dance and started karate... she's been going for more than two years now... believe me, she's still got her problems (crying when she's not hurt), but for the most part I've seen some positive changes for her & the staff at karate is more used to being able to deal with a child one on one... If your son doesn't do sports, perhaps he could try Tae Kwon Do? Our son has been doing it for years now since he was 7, he's now almost 12, it's been the number one thing that kept him focused for at least a few years when the classroom (to him) was just terribly boring.

 

[ZPT1022]

Why not make an appointment with his psychiatrist where you two can talk and brainstorm about more appropriate ways for him to be handled at school and then work that into the IEP? If it's in the IEP and the principal and teacher still try to go against it, they are in big trouble. If it's just something you are suggesting, unfortunately they are not obligated to listen, even if it would be in the child's best interests. Good luck

 

[Mermaid02]

I've had tourette's students in the past. When you see the cursing and such on TV, well.. I've never seen that. Its more of facial tics, maybe something similiar to autistic stemming, but never ever swearing!

We have a neighbor with Tourette's and he does indeed yell things and make "noises".

I didn't mean to put the swearing in with Tourette's, the swearing is something that we live with here at home but so far hasn't moved into his school life. It has however, spread to Grandparents homes etc.

 

[SeaShelley]

"....And good luck to your parents dealing with all of your Jackness"

Way out of line! I'd be sure to pass along that precious little comment to the Director of Special Services and/or the Superintendent's Office. You're right. That comment sounds like he doesn't take Jack's diagnosis seriously. I wish you guys luck having to deal with the Principal's jacka$sness!

 

[flying_babyb]

As far as ADHD kids who like to run, i wish the schools would encorage this. We had a runner on our high school team, special needs guy, real sweetheart, big geek. He was the best runner on the team because he used to run everyday around the playgroud at recess. Now in college, hes number one on the track team.

 

[kejoda]

Way out of line! I'd be sure to pass along that precious little comment to the Director of Special Services and/or the Superintendent's Office. You're right. That comment sounds like he doesn't take Jack's diagnosis seriously. I wish you guys luck having to deal with the Principal's jacka$sness!

I so agree. Call the head of the Special Ed dept.

and LOL SeaShelley about the last line.