Ack! Advice quickly, please!

[mi*vida*loca]

Do you mean they wouldn't ask because it would be assumed that of course they could bring someone, or because it is obvious the answer would be no?

Sorry....Because they could bring someone. It's really not a big deal to bring an additional person to a small birthday party at the house.

 

[aprilgail]

All I am thinking is What 16 year old boy wants to go to a kid's 1st birthday?

I am sure the teenagers are being forced to come and the 16 year old is dragging her boyfriend along to at least have some fun. Just be happy they are coming. Teenagers have a million things they would rather be doing than going to a party for a one year old.

I agree- as a teen you would have had to bring me kicking and screaming to a cousins 1st birthday party LOL. we used to have "family reunions' every year as a kid, we would all meet up in a central point and rent out the entire group of cabins at a resort- once I hit 13 there was no way I was going without a friend and my parents always let me bring either a friend or the current boyfriend with me.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Invite him and let him be the photographer, this way he won’t be in any of the pictures. Lol.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow... after reading the OP's latest posts...
Sorry, but, again, I just can't even begin to wrap my head around any of this....
I just can't.
You don't seem to be getting peoples advice or why they are posting their thoughts.

So....
My advice: Tell your SIL, right away, ASAP, that this BF, and/or any other un-invited guests, are not welcomed.
Get out your 'china' and your huge variety of TAPAS, (since, clearly, that is easier than cake on nice/cute disposable paper/plastic party-ware, and obviously one chair is just too much trouble)
NOTE: half of that list would be ten times more than your very limited number of guest might consume. An extra teenaged boy might remedy that.
Enjoy your gathering.

PS: Just a heads-up.... The day might come when your baby gets a little older, and wants to actually have friends and a social life, and they want to go to birthday parties where there will be 'gasp!!!' numbers of shrieking heathen kids running around. You might want to brace yourself. Just sayin'....

 

[Wendy31]

I don't understand why we have to be so harsh?

And I seriously don't think it's all that unusual for a child's first birthday party to be more of a "grownup" affair if there aren't any other younger children in the family, & the guest list is primarily just family w/ teenagers & other adults.

Some people like the cutesy plates & themed decor while others don't. There's nothing wrong w/ eating off real plates instead of paper plates. Right now, her little boy doesn't have a preference, so the theme is "It's a Small World" - which is a really cute theme. It's actually kinda perfect for a one year old - his world IS small, but what a great big world it is w/ so many adventures just waiting for him!

And tapas are fun!

When he's older, she said he could choose whatever he wanted.

I chose the theme for each for our children's first birthday parties - teddy bear, train, & jungle animal babies.

And, when the OP's son is older & becomes part of different peer groups, I'm sure there will be other kids in attendance at his future birthday parties. When our kids were turning one, the only people I invited to their birthday parties were our families. There just happened to be younger cousins at the same time. But, had our child been the only younger child, then our parties would have just been adults & our older niece & nephew.

At our younger son's first birthday party, we served an actual lunch (pasta & salad) before the cake & ice cream. We used our real plates & silverware for the lunch portion, & then the cutesy paper plates & napkins were used for the cake & ice cream.

And, if there aren't any other younger children in the family & all you're inviting is family, there's not going to be the typical child party games & activities which is okay - it's really going to be a more quiet affair w/ adults standing & sitting around talking & playing w/ the one-year-old.

There's no "script" one has to follow for a child's first birthday party.

EDITED TO ADD - I don't think the OP is saying there's anything wrong w/ the typical child's party where there are kids running around everywhere & the food is more simple & child-friendly.

I think she was just trying to explain how this particular 1st birthday party is different & more intimate, &, therefore, in her mind, harder for a niece's boyfriend to just "slip in" & just be in the background.

Many people (including myself) have posted to tell her that it will be fine, but the OP can still have her feelings & her concerns. She & her husband have agreed that the niece can bring the boyfriend.

The party is tonight, & I'm sure it will be a fun night & will make a nice memory!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I must have misread your list - I didn’t see “Poutine - Canada” on there anywhere.

I'm trying to keep it classy.

I'm (again; probably should just change my user name.) Anyway, earlier you were concerned about not enough seating. Now it's going to be five adults and two, no, three teens standing around?

Eleven people plus a baby. MIL, FIL, BIL and SIL, SIL and her two teens, the boyfriend, my BFF, my DH and myself, the birthday boy.

 

[sk!mom]

Sorry....Because they could bring someone. It's really not a big deal to bring an additional person to a small birthday party at the house.

My family is the same for casual gatherings. No one would even think to ask if it's OK to bring a tag along. We are a casual, already large, group so bring whomever you want.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

~snip~

EDITED TO ADD - I don't think the OP is saying there's anything wrong w/ the typical child's party where there are kids running around everywhere & the food is more simple & child-friendly.

I think she was just trying to explain how this particular 1st birthday party is different & more intimate, &, therefore, in her mind, harder for a niece's boyfriend to just "slip in" & just be in the background.

Many people (including myself) have posted to tell her that it will be fine, but the OP can still have her feelings & her concerns. She & her husband have agreed that the niece can bring the boyfriend.

The party is tonight, & I'm sure it will be a fun night & will make a nice memory!

This. I know this is the DIS, but I didn't think I would have to clarify this point. If my son were old enough to have friends, of course his friends would be invited to his party. If we had other young children in the family then we'd be having an altogether different type of party today. But we don't. He's one, and he's the first new kid born into the family in the last 13 years, so his only "friends and family" right now are a bunch of adults (or close to it). Since I think the adults will prefer food and conversation over finger painting and craft stations, that's what we'll be doing. I'm just working with what I have.

 

[Nancyg56]

Wow... after reading the OP's latest posts...
Sorry, but, again, I just can't even begin to wrap my head around any of this....
I just can't.
You don't seem to be getting peoples advice or why they are posting their thoughts.

So....
My advice: Tell your SIL, right away, ASAP, that this BF, and/or any other un-invited guests, are not welcomed.
Get out your 'china' and your huge variety of TAPAS, (since, clearly, that is easier than cake on nice/cute disposable paper/plastic party-ware, and obviously one chair is just too much trouble)
NOTE: half of that list would be ten times more than your very limited number of guest might consume. An extra teenaged boy might remedy that.
Enjoy your gathering.

PS: Just a heads-up.... The day might come when your baby gets a little older, and wants to actually have friends and a social life, and they want to go to birthday parties where there will be 'gasp!!!' numbers of shrieking heathen kids running around. You might want to brace yourself. Just sayin'....

Holy! Moly!!!

OP- I use my crystal dishes for any occasion I want. My several sets of china are packed away becuase my DH hats the little coffee cups, however I used to use them on every occasion that I could drag them out for. I like pretty, so we always have my table set, my linens appropriate to the seasons, and my dishes muct match. ( I also make sure my silver is all lined up accurately. Thank you 7th and 8th grade home ec teachers! LOL !
FWIW, I panic if I cannot have the table set for everyone who is arriving, everything must match, and I hate squeezing folks in....My DH is a Saint....

ETA: Can I come? I saw the menu and am drooling.

 

[cabanafrau]

Everybody knows china is just something for couples to put on their wedding registry and then take any pieces or place settings received and place them in storage, never to be used.

 

[soccerdad72]

9 pages on a 1 year old's birthday party - that has to be some sort of record!

 

[Miffy]

I admit to having read only pages 1 and 9, but the thing I can't get my head around is that this 16-year-old boy wants to come to this party. It seems impossible.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Holy! Moly!!!

OP- I use my crystal dishes for any occasion I want. My several sets of china are packed away becuase my DH hats the little coffee cups, however I used to use them on every occasion that I could drag them out for. I like pretty, so we always have my table set, my linens appropriate to the seasons, and my dishes muct match. ( I also make sure my silver is all lined up accurately. Thank you 7th and 8th grade home ec teachers! LOL !
FWIW, I panic if I cannot have the table set for everyone who is arriving, everything must match, and I hate squeezing folks in....My DH is a Saint....

ETA: Can I come? I saw the menu and am drooling.

Okay, you have me beat for sure! I definitely don't take it that seriously. This controversial china of mine is because I bought it not realizing it was china. I had two choices: return it and continue to use our old mismatched and chipped dishware, or keep it and use it as our everyday set. I liked the pattern too much to let it go so I said screw it, now we eat on china. 'Cause we're fancy folk now!

 

[disykat]

How dare you when paper plates are so much more festive? LOL!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

How dare you when paper plates are so much more festive? LOL!

I'm too lazy and cheap to go out and buy paper plates! I've got free dishware in the cabinets!

 

[soccerdad72]

I admit to having read only pages 1 and 9, but the thing I can't get my head around is that this 16-year-old boy wants to come to this party. It seems impossible.

Probably less likely he wants to come and more likely, he will go wherever his girlfriend asks him to be.

 

[Nancyg56]

Okay, you have me beat for sure! I definitely don't take it that seriously. This controversial china of mine is because I bought it not realizing it was china. I had two choices: return it and continue to use our old mismatched and chipped dishware, or keep it and use it as our everyday set. I liked the pattern too much to let it go so I said screw it, now we eat on china. 'Cause we're fancy folk now!

LOL!!! I am much more relaxed nowadays, but I still like my Fantasia for anytime we have any company. I have stone ware ( my DS an DDIL buy us Cabelas dinnerware with deer on them. When a dish breaks they replace my service for 8 for a Christmas gift, they know me! LOL!!!!) that I use everyday. My family is used to me and as I said, I am relaxed, but there was a time when I could seat 25 people for dinner. I don't have any desire to do that any longer, bu tI have added 10 more settings to my Fantasia just to be sure!

 

[disykat]

I'm too lazy and cheap to go out and buy paper plates! I've got free dishware in the cabinets!

Me too - not to mention I only pay for trash pickup twice a month so I try to minimize garbage. Dishes (plates) are easy to wash so I won't waste garbage consumption on them. I have been known to use a disposable pan on occasion though...

 

[HannaBelle]

Anyone else dying to know how the party goes tonight? After 9 pages, I am personally invested in the outcome.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I'm too lazy and cheap to go out and buy paper plates! I've got free dishware in the cabinets!

I keep the paper plates for the five and under crowd at b'day parties. Otherwise I hate eating off plastic or paper and never use it.

OP I hope you chill-ax a bit and realize that it's really not a big deal for one extra guest. Family is more important than worrying about something so minor. And it really is minor. I used to be more high strung too when it came to entertaining. Live and learn. And you will change and grow. We all do, for better or for worse.