According to survey parents #1 fear is the internet and sexual abuse. Really!?!

[Ember]

They completed a survey in my school district asking parents what their top fear was for their child (so teachers may better address this issue in the classroom). The number one issue on the minds of parents is internet sexual predators.

I just don't understand this.

Yes, there is a threat. I'm not denying it. But, frankly, the threat is pretty minimal. If a child is going to suffer sexual abuse, chances are very likely they will know the person doing it. The statistics vary on this, but it's up around 80%. Furthermore, the cases of children actually being harmed by a stranger they met on the internet are very few and far between, they just receive a great deal of press. Again, I'm not saying it's not an issue, or that internet safety should be ignored, but I do not understand how it's the top parental fear.

We are now developing a program to deal specifically with internet safety. Not personal safety in general. Not preventing sexual abuse in general. Not the steps to take and who to talk to if the child feels threatened or uncomfortable. Just internet safety.

I don't get it. It seems to me a broader program would be more beneficial and would most likely be far more effective in actually helping. I realize I get no say in this, but it really irks me.

Thanks for the vent.

 

[happygirl]

I can see how it could be a threat. I can see how it could cause some parents to worry. It would me. I wouldn't want my teen to think they had meet another teen and then it turns out to be a old man

 

[minkydog]

I am much more concerned that my DD16 could be taken advantage of by someone we trust, like a boyfriend, friend of her brother, uncle, grandfather, or friends' fathers. Speaking as one who was molested multiple times by men my family knew(some of them, very close family members) I'm sorry to say that i pretty much suspect ANY man. And that's really sad. I don't like that about myself but the years-long experiences of my childhood tell me to be suspicious. It is very hard to overcome those thoughts and feelings. So I do what I can to prepare my daughter for the real world and pray like mad.(None of my children are aware of the sexual abuse. My husband knows and he understands how this has affected so many areas of my life. He's a good good man.)

 

[Sparx]

Its all ignorance that causes that fear.

Yes, there is a threat, but I'm willing to bet that many of those parents are unfamiliar with the internet, and have been bombarded by the media excitement, for lack of a better word, that pushes the sexual predator commercials and television shows like that one that hunts down sexual predators and arrests them.

Parents who don't know any better see that and assume that every child is being sexually harassed on the internet.

 

[Cindyluwho]

What irks me is that they'll do parental and student classes on internet safety but they won't even mention to watch out for "dirty old Uncle Al". It's pretty much forbidden to talk about molestations by family members or church friends or neighbors but it's perfectly OK to talk about molestation by strangers.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I would agree with the parents in the survey that those are 2 of my top concerns. It seems concern over abuse is split between those who have experience being concerned, and those who do not have experience thinking its all hype. Statistically, females have a 25% chance of abuse before even reaching the age of 18 - or 1 in 4, and males a 20% chance, or 1 in 5.

After the topic of one on one abuse, and exposure to detrimental material on the internet (predator was covered by #1) my #3 concern is drug experimentation that may lead to permanent damage in either the form of brain damage or addiction. Fourth worry is an abusive partner but in truth all 4 of my top worries are pretty much side by side.

PS- my DH was in IT security and if you only knew what seemingly normal people had on their computers... needless to say we have a Mac and it's pretty heavily restricted. We have very strict anonymity rules and ANY personal photos are banned.

Also, I have never uttered the words "respect your elders" to my kids. Dangerous young people grow to be dangerous old people.

If you do not worry about this sort of stuff do you mind me asking what is on the top of your list? No flames from me, I promise.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Statistically, females have a 25% chance of abuse before even reaching the age of 18 - or 1 in 4, and males a 20% chance, or 1 in 5. .

But the overwhelming odds are that the abuser will be a family member or close friend of the family. So shouldn't that be far and away the #1 THREAT??

 

[LuvOrlando]

But the overwhelming odds are that the abuser will be a family member or close friend of the family. So shouldn't that be far and away the #1 THREAT??

It is my #1 worry if I had to order them... but the smidge between the 4 is just so small. I agree with you that our schools should do more to help our populations kids help themselves. How can a kid ask for help if he/she doesn't even know its wrong?

 

[Ember]

If you do not worry about this sort of stuff do you mind me asking what is on the top of your list? No flames from me, I promise.

What irks me is that they'll do parental and student classes on internet safety but they won't even mention to watch out for "dirty old Uncle Al". It's pretty much forbidden to talk about molestations by family members or church friends or neighbors but it's perfectly OK to talk about molestation by strangers.

LuvOrlando, I think your question is pretty well summed up by the second quote. I have no problem promoting internet safety. I do think there are dangers out there and I would definitely be in favor of educating to increase both awareness and protection in this area.

But I also think that when it comes to threats faced by youth, internet safety is only a very small fish in a very big pond. Again, chances are very high that if a child is going to be molested, it will be by someone the parents invited into their home and not by a stranger met on the internet. That's a very scary thought.

I would like to see a program directed at protecting children from ALL sexual predators. Including the ones that may be closest to the students. That means talking about it openly and giving ways for students to seek help. I'm sorry, but I find the concept of such a limited program as internet safety to be close to useless.

 

[disykat]

It is certainly not my #1 fear. I feel like I've been able to police my kid's internet usage fairly successfully and would be aware if they were developing relationships on the net.

Our computer is in a main room, they don't have my space, IM, facebook, etc. While they do email with friends, it's not much and I have access to spot check if I feel the need. Some would say I've curbed their social life, but I have no remorse and they don't seem to care. Maybe I'm naive, but I worry a lot more about choices they'll make when they are away from my supervision than I do about them finding time to sneak onto the computer and develop relationships right under my nose.

Heck, our two computers are side by side. I spend so much time on the DIS they don't have a chance!

I would say drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. would be my main fears. I also worry about my oldest having too much stress and my youngest not expecting enough of himself. HMM What does it say about me that I worry less about whether they will be victimized and more about the choices they will make themselves?

 

[AlbertH]

Hi,

Surfing the internet is fun and a great learning experience for kids but, there are a few do's and don'ts.

It's a very bad idea and can be dangerous to meet someone or have them meet you without permission from your mom or dad. Always remember that people you meet on the internet may not be the person they say they are. You may think you're exchanging messages with a girl or boy your age when you may actually be speaking to an adult.

 

[golfgal]

To be honest sexual predators on the internet haven't even hit my radar for something to worry about with my kids. Like others have said, they are in much more danger of being abused by their little league coach or Uncle Al then they ever will be on the internet. The problem is that Uncle Al doesn't make the news and the creep from Texas that goes to visit some 12 year old in Nebraska does.

Same thing with parents that never let their kids out of their sight. They are in FAR more danger in their own living room then they are standing in the middle of the city park alone.

 

[onelilspark]

I think it comes down with the issue of trust. You know (or think you know anyway) your family members, neighbors, etc. You trust these people. Right or wrong, it's why people are always on the news saying "well, he seemed so normal, such a nice man" when it comes out that John who lived 2 houses down is a rapist. You feel like you knew that person, you don't suspect them. But a stranger on the internet? You don't know that person, you don't trust someone outside of your circle with your child.

Think about it, would you let a stranger take your child home from soccer practice or your neighbor who you've known for years? You don't necessarily know everything about your neighbor, but never in a million years would you guess that he (or she) is capable of horrific acts. But a stranger? You'd believe it. That's why when asked, parents are probably more afraid of something happening to their babies by strangers they meet on the internet than by their loved ones.

And I have to say, I kind of agree with the parents. I'm not a parent yet myself, but these kids are growing up in an age where it's becoming the norm to meet people online (i.e. online dating) especially when they're older. Learning and practicing safe acts when doing so is a smart thing. Not exchanging information with people is smart and safe. You can protect yourself and your family by limiting the kind of information people know. I'm sure if you were to address this with your students, the number one lesson that should come across is "if someone is touching you inappropriately, or doing something you know is wrong, you can tell a trusted adult, your parents, a teacher, a neighbor, and we'll help you. You'd be doing the right thing."

 

[Disney Ella]

Car accidents, freak accidents and diseases are it for me. There is not much I can do about those things, but I have gone over Internet safety with the kids and they do understand the importance of not giving personal information and the fact that you never know if people on the Internet are really who they say they are.

 

[clgwli]

I am really shocked. My biggest fear is a terminal illness or accident that would take my child away from me physically. That is my #1 fear. Those two are about halfway down on my list.

 

[robinb]

nevermind ... I didn't notice this was an old thread.

 

[diznygirl]

Hi,

Surfing the internet is fun and a great learning experience for kids but, there are a few do's and don'ts.

It's a very bad idea and can be dangerous to meet someone or have them meet you without permission from your mom or dad. Always remember that people you meet on the internet may not be the person they say they are. You may think you're exchanging messages with a girl or boy your age when you may actually be speaking to an adult.

Hmm. An old thread bumped up by a new poster with something to sell.

Interesting.

 

[Missy1961]

Hmm. An old thread bumped up by a new poster with something to sell.

Interesting.

Very interesting.

 

[geogat]

I have to wonder how that survey was conducted? What were the options that the parents got to choose from? I find it hard to believe that an entire school districts greatest fear is something that can have it's threat dropped a great deal with just some parent/child education and monitoring.