Accommodating Grandparents

[happymommy]

I am trying to make everyone happy and I'm quickly realizing it's not possible. I was considering just doing the four of us for simplicity but I also don't want to deny anyone those memories of multiple generations.

No, you can't please everyone, and everyone has a different idea of a fun family vacation.

I'd just book what you want and go. If they want to come down as well, let them make that call, but make your plans and you can let them know what you've planned out. If they really want to tag along, they can make FP's at similar times.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I would do my first trip as a family of 4 and then plan trips with each set of grandparents separately in the future. I think you are trying to squeeze too much into a first time trip.

 

[happymommy]

Just so you know, connecting rooms are never guaranteed.

I sent you a PM. It is in our case.

 

[_auroraborealis_]

I sent you a PM. It is in our case.

There is no way it would be for w room of four and w room of grandparents, sorry.

 

[Babsy]

If grand parents want to babysit to give you a night to yourselves, they could do what we do. We book the grandchildren as staying with us in our room as well. There is no extra cost to having them on our reservation. That way we can take them to our room to stay the night anytime. They love 'sleeping over' with Grammy and Granda while on vacation. we decorate and get balloons. We also usually plan extras like BBB or a pirate cruise and have a 'special meal' of goodies. It's fun for all of us and gives Mom and Dad the entire night and morning off. We get together with the parents after breakfast the next day.

Then we go off by ourselves for the rest of that day and see the kiddos again a day later. LOL!

 

[TCB in FLA]

I am trying to make everyone happy and I'm quickly realizing it's not possible. I was considering just doing the four of us for simplicity but I also don't want to deny anyone those memories of multiple generations.

I've cried at the Magic Kingdom just two times -- once when running down Main Street during my first Disney Marathon (happy tears!) and the other when my parents and in-laws started squabbling over my son's first Disney trip outside the teacups way back in 2002. Since then, they are no longer invited to any of our Disney parks trips. (Now, if the want to pay for a cruise...)

IMHO, book where you want, and give your family and the grandparents their own rooms. It's easy for tempers to get out of control with too much togetherness.

 

[pooch]

Don't know why you'd have to have the grandkids on your reservation for them to sleep in your room one night. Not sure Disney cares if you keep them in your room to give mom & dad a night off. It's not like they need a room key or anything.

 

[Babsy]

Don't know why you'd have to have the grandkids on your reservation for them to sleep in your room one night. Not sure Disney cares if you keep them in your room to give mom & dad a night off. It's not like they need a room key or anything.

The children do get a magic band when they are on your reservation. Also, we were staying in CL so we wanted to have clear access for them when we brought them to the lounge with us. Finally, it just 'felt right' to have them added to the reservation as staying in the room with us. We did let the CM's know what the situation was and they had no problem with it. They knew when the girls were staying with us and when they were not.

I suppose that it may have been unnecessary, but we liked it. It just felt more 'official'. The girls liked having their own key to Grammy and Grandma's room. They also had their own beds set up in our room. We had the pack n play for the two year old and the daybed made up for the 4 year old.

I'm not sure if Disney cares or not? Fire regulations maybe? In any event, we were happy with it and the CM's seemed to think that it was cute.

 

[pooch]

Just didn't want anyone to think that was necessary to have the kids sleep in your room for a night. As long as you are not exceeding occupancy limits.

 

[DISfirstTimer]

I've cried at the Magic Kingdom just two times -- once when running down Main Street during my first Disney Marathon (happy tears!) and the other when my parents and in-laws started squabbling over my son's first Disney trip outside the teacups way back in 2002. Since then, they are no longer invited to any of our Disney parks trips. (Now, if the want to pay for a cruise...)

IMHO, book where you want, and give your family and the grandparents their own rooms. It's easy for tempers to get out of control with too much togetherness.

I do worry that by trying to make everyone happy that I will be the one disappointed. Going forward I think I'm going to try to plan my trip for my family of 4. When its booked I'll give everyone the details and if they want to make their own plans to overlap with us so be it. I'm no longer going to try to get everyone equal time, be concerned about the cost of their vacation, and any other factors that are stressing me out and making this trip difficult to plan!

 

[IrishNYC]

I think you've come up with the best solution. For all you know, they don't even want to go to Disney! My FIL is dying to go to Disney with us (NOT happening - we had to keep our first trip secret from him, and he didn't speak to us for 3 months after we got back), and my mom would rather poke her eyes out, even though she'd be a pleasure to have along.

Either way if we had grandparents coming along, there's no way we could share a room. We've done family vacations to other destinations before, and it's always "this is where and when, now you make your own plans." My in-laws (all of them, siblings, parents) like to be up in each other's business. My extended family of siblings and parents like having their own space at the end of the day, and that's what DH, DD and I like, too. It takes the right people to share personal space for more than a night.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

If and when you do give them the details I would throw in there your park days. On these days we will be at the MK, these days Epcot, these days are rest days, etc. That way they can buy the appropriate park tickets and not expect you to go to a park on a day you had reserved as pool/DTD day. Even let them know your ADR's so they can try to make their own also. I know when we've had two separate ADR's they would still seat us together.

 

[jo-jo]

How old are your children? Having a grandparent along can sit with a baby with the three of you go on the bigger rides. Had to said that for all the wonderful grandmas (like me) LOL

But I would agree with others, say you are going ten days at ? and if they want to plan their own trip at the same time in their own room, so be it. I wouldn't try to get EVERYONE together at the same time. Last thing you want is "oh I wanted little Timmy's first time on dumbo to be with me" , "No, I wanted the first ride with dumbo to be with me" Meanwhile little Timmy doesn't even want to go on dumbo.

Not knowing what the grandparents are like, but I would plan to do some rides for a few hours and then split up. When you plan to walk around all day joined at the hip, it's almost never works out.

 

[DISfirstTimer]

I think you've come up with the best solution. For all you know, they don't even want to go to Disney! My FIL is dying to go to Disney with us (NOT happening - we had to keep our first trip secret from him, and he didn't speak to us for 3 months after we got back), and my mom would rather poke her eyes out, even though she'd be a pleasure to have along.

Either way if we had grandparents coming along, there's no way we could share a room. We've done family vacations to other destinations before, and it's always "this is where and when, now you make your own plans." My in-laws (all of them, siblings, parents) like to be up in each other's business. My extended family of siblings and parents like having their own space at the end of the day, and that's what DH, DD and I like, too. It takes the right people to share personal space for more than a night.

Oh they all want to go! My MIL hit me up early one morning about before I had coffee about buying all of us (SIL and her family 4 too) Disney Tickets for Christmas. I had to break it to them that although I’d love to vacation with everyone that I didn’t think Disney was the place to do that. It didn’t score me many points. They did, however, generously put money away for us to be used to buy our tickets when we do decide to go!

I know my husband would like for his parents to go and I know my mom would be heartbroken if she wasn’t also included. I also strongly believe my family needs time just the 4 of us. My husband works VERY long hours and my kids deserve to have him all to themselves. So I am hoping this strategy will produce the best results!

 

[DISfirstTimer]

How old are your children? Having a grandparent along can sit with a baby with the three of you go on the bigger rides. Had to said that for all the wonderful grandmas (like me) LOL

But I would agree with others, say you are going ten days at ? and if they want to plan their own trip at the same time in their own room, so be it. I wouldn't try to get EVERYONE together at the same time. Last thing you want is "oh I wanted little Timmy's first time on dumbo to be with me" , "No, I wanted the first ride with dumbo to be with me" Meanwhile little Timmy doesn't even want to go on dumbo.

Not knowing what the grandparents are like, but I would plan to do some rides for a few hours and then split up. When you plan to walk around all day joined at the hip, it's almost never works out.

My kids will be 4 and 6 at the time of travel. I totally see the benefits of grandparents and think I'd enjoy them being along but as you say not attached at the hip. I'm loving this group. What a great source of opinions and place to vent!!

 

[TCB in FLA]

My kids will be 4 and 6 at the time of travel. I totally see the benefits of grandparents and think I'd enjoy them being along but as you say not attached at the hip. I'm loving this group. What a great source of opinions and place to vent!!

Definitely a safe place to discuss Disney, although you'll get all the of opinions to every question! You'll figure it out though. Since your immediate family is visiting for such a long time, you'll be able to adjust to the grandparents' pace without feeling the need to cram everything in to a few quick days.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Oh they all want to go! My MIL hit me up early one morning about before I had coffee about buying all of us (SIL and her family 4 too) Disney Tickets for Christmas. I had to break it to them that although I’d love to vacation with everyone that I didn’t think Disney was the place to do that. It didn’t score me many points. They did, however, generously put money away for us to be used to buy our tickets when we do decide to go!

I know my husband would like for his parents to go and I know my mom would be heartbroken if she wasn’t also included. I also strongly believe my family needs time just the 4 of us. My husband works VERY long hours and my kids deserve to have him all to themselves. So I am hoping this strategy will produce the best results!

With this being said I would definitely make this first trip JUST the four of you and plan to go with family at later dates.

I was the same way when my kids were small. My XH worked long hours. We did our vacations just us because we felt it was important for our children to spend time with us as a family unit. We did let grandparents have unlimited access to them and they went on trips with their grandparents also. But our family vacations were our family vacations.

 

[MrsIncredible1974]

I do worry that by trying to make everyone happy that I will be the one disappointed. Going forward I think I'm going to try to plan my trip for my family of 4. When its booked I'll give everyone the details and if they want to make their own plans to overlap with us so be it. I'm no longer going to try to get everyone equal time, be concerned about the cost of their vacation, and any other factors that are stressing me out and making this trip difficult to plan!

This is absolutely the right attitude.

Concentrate on YOUR trip and if people want to join in and, you are happy for them to do so, then great.

The only concern I'd have is about the size of the group and conflicting expectations, especially if MIL does open the trip up to SIL and family by offering to pay for their tickets. I'm very "type A" (obviously, I'm on disboards ahead of a trip!) but my husband and his family find my planning and organisation mystifying and highly amusing. For that reason, while I have some lovely memories of fantastic trips with my parents and my in-laws, I would never do Disney with them!

 

[happymommy]

My kids will be 4 and 6 at the time of travel. I totally see the benefits of grandparents and think I'd enjoy them being along but as you say not attached at the hip. I'm loving this group. What a great source of opinions and place to vent!!

At those ages, kids are so easy at Disney! That was the age that my kids were when I first took them without DH (he works long hours, so some trips after that started being just me and the kids). It was a blast to have just them and me! The less folks involved, the easier it is to me!

Sounds like you made the best decision. Just plan what you four want to do!

Honestly, by the end of the day when they were 4 and 6, not only were they ready to settle in for the night at their pretty much normal bedtime, but I was ready to wind down, have a glass of wine and relax. We never would have needed a babysitter!

 

[Shellyred8]

I think this is exactly what I'm going to have to do. A lot less stressful then trying to develop the "perfect" circumstances

And if the Grandparents say "Hey! I think we'll get our own room and go for the entire week!", just make sure they know that you want a set number of days for just you and the kids, if that's really important to you.

We took my parents to WDW a couple of years ago and got a 2br villa. It worked out great. The only thing we did wrong was we tried to do too much in a very short time frame. We burned them out after the first day. The rest of the trip we took a much slower pace. We saw what we saw and if there was something we missed, o-well. It made for a much more enjoyable trip once I was able to slow down and not rush everyone everywhere.

Have a great trip!!