? about teacher's comment to dd???

[Daxx]

I am refering to negative comments, and judgements, concerning what happens once a student leaves the school building with their parent. (which is basicly none of the teachers business whatsoever.)

Are you telling me that you never judge people or make negative comments about them? Come on .. it happens every day in every workplace across the world. Who doesn't complain, judge or make comments about a co-worker once they've left the room/building? The singles judge the marrieds, the childless judge those w/the children, the marrieds judge the singles, those w/kids judge those who are childless.

Parents NEVER judge the teachers, right!? NEVER make rude comments about the teachers, right!?

 

[Sandy51]

Attendance becomes a "teacher" issue when we, because of No Child Left Behind, are held accountable for totally unrealistic goals. Teaching has become a much more difficult job because of so many unreasonable expectations having to do with NCLB.

Bottom line, I can't teach your child if he/she is not in school. There is no time tomorrow to review what he/she missed today.


Getting down of my soapbox.


Sandy

 

[chager]

A couple years ago Nick became ill, barfing infact, and was sent home. Evidently it was something he ate becuase by the afternoon he was fine. However he still was not aloud to go the party with scouts that night or go outside to play. He knew that if he came home sick he wasn't going anywhere or doing anything.
If a child is too sick to be in school then they shouldn't be going out places and continuing to spread their germs.
Of course it is a parental decision. Nick is homeschooled now, but just the other day he said he felt too ill to work. Well by that evening he felt better, but I still didn't allow him outside to play. After all if he was too sick to study then he is too sick to play. He wasn't happy, but he got over it.
While I don't think the comments were made in the appropriate place or time I do understand them. I'm suprised no other students heard/saw it and wondered if the a certain amount of "faking" had taken place just to get to the signing, esp. after the tv/newspaper things.
I hope made a little sense. I am so tired tonight I can't hardly see!! Let alone make any kind of sense when I'm typing

 

[teacherforhi]

Ohhhh, spare me the drama...

All of the things you mention above are indeed part of a normal day at school teaching children.

I am refering to negative comments, and judgements, concerning what happens once a student leaves the school building with their parent. (which is basicly none of the teachers business whatsoever.)

But, hey, let the pro-teacher parent bashing continue!!!

The things I mentioned have absolutely nothing to do with teaching. What I teach is outlined in the North Carolina Standard Course of Study. You can find a copy at the Department of Instruction's web site, if you care to look. The things I mentioned are part of being a caring human being who is an adult figure in your children's lives. I try to be a positive role model and show the kind of care and attention that you would show to your own child.

 

[we3disneygo]

Wishing on a star....and pansmermaidzagoon.......you seem to be understanding where I am coming from....I was surprised when he made these comments....I would not say anything in front of the other classmates because that would not be cool -dd said that nothing more was said to her today in his class-so I am going to disregard his statement. thanks.

 

[poohandwendy]

I am refering to negative comments, and judgements, concerning what happens once a student leaves the school building with their parent. (which is basicly none of the teachers business whatsoever.)

In all honesty, how many times have you actually dealt with the issues you are talking about (ie teachers being God, trying to take the rights away from parents, negative comments about issues that do not directly involve school)? Not what you have heard others complain about, but what you have personally experienced as a parent of school children?

I tend to think many people over-dramatize situations when it comes to their children, especially school issues. Just my personal observation.

 

[poohandwendy]

Wishing on a star....and pansmermaidzagoon.......you seem to be understanding where I am coming from....I was surprised when he made these comments....I would not say anything in front of the other classmates because that would not be cool -dd said that nothing more was said to her today in his class-so I am going to disregard his statement. thanks.

It's been asked multiple times with no response, but I will ask again...what exactly did he say to your DD? I guess that is what is making a few of us not understand why it was such a big deal.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

I think over judgemental dramatizing on both sides is just a bit trying. I don't think teachers should just teach and nothing else. I think if it's in a teacher to be humane and give compassion and understanding then please do so for my child and anyone elses. And on the other side of it, please don't think that gives a teacher the right to make comments about decisions that I as a parent alone can make. If I want to take my daughter out of school for any reason, ie vacation what not, and as long as she's doing well in school and hasn't missed her alloted time off, then I can and will if I need to. DD used to go to a DOD school on base and their policy on time off is to be there when they can. They understand that either one or both parents can be deployed at any time and they don't want to take any time away from being with their parents before they leave for any where from one week to one year. I have taken dd out of school just for vacations because why?...because dh would just have come back or about to leave for his deployments. I, made that decision and I'm glad that no teacher or school administrator ever passed judgement and made me feel as if going to class was more important than the time that we spent as a family or the experiences we have in life with one another.

 

[Wishing on a star]

To the OP...

I am glad that I interpreted your posts correctly!!!



And, just one more question here, before it is time for homework and bed for DS....

I just can't for the life of me see what being a kind and compassionate teacher has to do with condescending comments, poking your nose into a families business, asking a child questions, and expecting accountability for something that is in no way related to school, or your class. Something that did not even occur during school hours.

Since when is the latter 'compassionate', or 'kind'?


Great post Goofyzgurl!
You seem to be noticing the twisted issues and logic here.

PS: I LOVE your siggie!!!

 

[poohandwendy]

I just can't for the life of me see what being a kind and compassionate teacher has to do with condescending comments, poking your nose into a families business, asking a child questions, and expecting accountability for something that is in no way related to school, or your class. Something that did not even occur during school hours.

How was the teacher to know that it didn't occur during school hours? If he read in the paper, I imagine it didn't tell exactly what time it happened...it may have just said that the figure skater was signing autographs monday afternoon. If the OP had just taken the time to say something the first time he made mention of it, he would have been aware of what you are saying...that it happened after school hours.

The OP didn't have to come up with a witty comeback or an on-the-spot excuse when he mentioned it, just the truth would have been enough to clear up any misunderstandings. I am still not sure why she didn't. To be honest, her lack of response when he said something in front of her (repeatedly) does nothing but suggest that she felt there was something to hide.

I have to say, I have had 3 children in school for over 13 years and I really do not understand this 'us vs them' mentality when it comes to the people who are teaching our children. I can't even think of more than one or 2 situations, in all of the years, where I had even a minor issue with my childrens teachers. But I know many, many parents who are constantly criticizing their childrens teachers over every little issue. Even here on the DIS, on any given day you can find a thread where a parent is taking issue with something their childs teacher did or said. Some justified and some just petty nitpicking, IMHO.

Sheesh, they cannot win....

We don't want them to think they are God, but we expect them to be perfect.

 

[florida-again]

I had something similar happen to me when I was thirteen. There was a two week school trip and my parents had just divorced so couldn't afford to send me. They applied for a subsidy and got the trip at a cheaper rate.
Then before I went, my grandfather gave me a big amount of spending money (we are not a close family so my parents would never have asked him to contribute to the trip itself).
When my teacher saw how much money I had with me he made a really nasty comment about how if my parents could afford to give me all that money, why couldn't they pay for the trip? Suggesting that they were freeloaders.

What really bugs me about my situation and your daughter's, is that the teacher would think that it was actually the child's fault that this had happened! At the age of 11, whether it's right or wrong, a teacher should at least know that what a child does is the parent's decision, not the child's. Therefore this teacher should not have made a comment to your daughter. If he'd wanted to say something to you...fine, but not your daughter.

 

[CheshireVal]

What really bugs me about my situation and your daughter's, is that the teacher would think that it was actually the child's fault that this had happened! At the age of 11, whether it's right or wrong, a teacher should at least know that what a child does is the parent's decision, not the child's. Therefore this teacher should not have made a comment to your daughter. If he'd wanted to say something to you...fine, but not your daughter.

An 11 year old could be a 6th grader. That's middle school/junior high. That is old enough to understand right and wrong. The daughter initiated the call home to say "mommy I'm sick." The daughter can handle a comment about it.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I have to say, I have had 3 children in school for over 13 years and I really do not understand this 'us vs them' mentality when it comes to the people who are teaching our children. I can't even think of more than one or 2 situations, in all of the years, where I had even a minor issue with my childrens teachers. But I know many, many parents who are constantly criticizing their childrens teachers over every little issue. Even here on the DIS, on any given day you can find a thread where a parent is taking issue with something their childs teacher did or said. Some justified and some just petty nitpicking, IMHO.

Some people do put the teachers under a microscope. They can't stand their child being in a situation where their feelings get hurt, they aren't being challenged just right all the time (not too much, not too little). The idea of a teacher getting mad at the class, much less their child is too much. None of us want our children in a toxic classroom, but I've told my kids that they need to deal with different personalities of the teachers just like they'll have to deal with difficult bosses and co-workers when they're an adult. As much as possible I try to teach my children the skills to talk with and deal with the teachers themselves. Not so much in elem school, but when they are older. My college DD still calls me asking for advice dealing with a difficul prof.

I'm not saying that this is the case in the OP, but it does happen and makes it hard for the teachers to do their job when they are not feeling that there is a home/school partnership.

 

[Sunny37]

How was the teacher to know that it didn't occur during school hours? If he read in the paper, I imagine it didn't tell exactly what time it happened...it may have just said that the figure skater was signing autographs monday afternoon. If the OP had just taken the time to say something the first time he made mention of it, he would have been aware of what you are saying...that it happened after school hours.

The OP didn't have to come up with a witty comeback or an on-the-spot excuse when he mentioned it, just the truth would have been enough to clear up any misunderstandings. I am still not sure why she didn't. To be honest, her lack of response when he said something in front of her (repeatedly) does nothing but suggest that she felt there was something to hide.

I have to say, I have had 3 children in school for over 13 years and I really do not understand this 'us vs them' mentality when it comes to the people who are teaching our children. I can't even think of more than one or 2 situations, in all of the years, where I had even a minor issue with my childrens teachers. But I know many, many parents who are constantly criticizing their childrens teachers over every little issue. Even here on the DIS, on any given day you can find a thread where a parent is taking issue with something their childs teacher did or said. Some justified and some just petty nitpicking, IMHO.

Sheesh, they cannot win....

We don't want them to think they are God, but we expect them to be perfect.

Excellent post! I like the last sentence especially! It's so true.

 

[leighe]

I wonder why it so often ends up parents vs. teachers? Most teachers in my building ARE parents. One of our principal's favorite questions is "Would you want your child in a classroom like yours?" For 99% of the teachers at my school my answer would be "Absolutely."

 

[Daxx]

To the OP...

I just can't for the life of me see what being a kind and compassionate teacher has to do with condescending comments, poking your nose into a families business, asking a child questions, and expecting accountability for something that is in no way related to school, or your class. Something that did not even occur during school hours.

Since when is the latter 'compassionate', or 'kind'?

Uh -- when the kid makes the front page of the newspaper, it's no longer family business -- it becomes everybodies business, doesn't it?! It's not like the teacher grilled the child to get the information. It was front page news, according to the OP!

Asking a child questions about what made the front page of the newspaper is the wrong thing to do!?!? Would it be ok if classmates made the same comments to this child?!!?

Expecting accountability in something that is in no way related to school or your class? Hold on == it IS related to school. The kid was supposed to be in school, was supposed to be learning. Yes, she was pulled out for illness and I am the first to say keep your sick child at home. But, that's it -- keep the kid at home and let them get well. Getting well does not include going to see Oksana later on! If you're sick, you're sick and you don't go missing school then go out later that night. The point is she wasn't well enough for school but was well enough to attend this event. I'd question that as a parent, more than I would as a teacher. Sorry -- if you're too miserable to be in school, then you should stay at home and rest ... not go out and about.

Expecting accountability is not kind or compassionate!? So, when a kid is faililng b/c they're not turning in homework, I should ignore it, let them fail and not "poke my nose into family business"? If they come to school smelling of vodka or have bruises on their arms, I should ignore it? If I see them buying drugs on the school playground after school, I should ignore it? B/c, after all, that's not related to school and I shouldn't poke my nose into their family business, right?!

I should not care about things that happen to my students (good, bad or otherwise) that occur after school hours? Please ... I care about my students -- in and out of school.

 

[Daxx]

We don't want them to think they are God, but we expect them to be perfect.

Well said!

 

[Marseeya]

I wonder why it so often ends up parents vs. teachers? Most teachers in my building ARE parents. One of our principal's favorite questions is "Would you want your child in a classroom like yours?" For 99% of the teachers at my school my answer would be "Absolutely."

I see a lot of the parents vs teachers beginning in the university classroom. I have no idea where they get their attitudes, but pre-service teachers are the WORST for having a negative attitude towards parents when they've never even had to deal with one. The professors do very little to combat this negativity.

Just a sampling of what I hear (and believe me, I speak up very loud and clear when I hear this nonsense):

Parents don't care about their kids' academics
Parents can't understand the work
parents expect us to be free babysitters
parents are against us

And on and on it goes.

 

[LoveWDW]

I wonder if the reason the teacher spoke in front of the other students was because she wanted to make the point to the others that it is not OK that when somebody is so sick that they can't be in school but can go to other enjoyable activities.

 

[m&m's mom]

Some people do put the teachers under a microscope. They can't stand their child being in a situation where their feelings get hurt, they aren't being challenged just right all the time (not too much, not too little). The idea of a teacher getting mad at the class, much less their child is too much. None of us want our children in a toxic classroom, but I've told my kids that they need to deal with different personalities of the teachers just like they'll have to deal with difficult bosses and co-workers when they're an adult. As much as possible I try to teach my children the skills to talk with and deal with the teachers themselves. Not so much in elem school, but when they are older. My college DD still calls me asking for advice dealing with a difficul prof.

I'm not saying that this is the case in the OP, but it does happen and makes it hard for the teachers to do their job when they are not feeling that there is a home/school partnership.

I love that! My DM was a teacher and she always took the teachers side which made me so mad as a child. I thought she was being mean but she was teaching me a valuable life lesson. She always said you are always going a bad boss, professor, etc and you need to learn to deal w/ it now.
Makes me very aware of how I treat the M's teachers.

ETA - never had a "toxic" teacher.