? about teacher's comment to dd???

[CheshireVal]

I think it was fine. The teacher probably thought he was being lied to-- no one wants to feel like a fool in front of a classroom of children. If he made the comment in front of others, then it was probably to let the other kids know that he caught on.

I'm a teacher, and I would shake my head at that, too. If a kid leaves school sick, he's sick and should stay home. Shouldn't be out running around having fun.

We have a policy at our school that if a child leaves school sick, he or she cannot participate in school-sponsored activities (sports, clubs, extracurriculars) that day.

 

[mickeymo]

Tinkbell,

So, you feel it was perfectly OK for the teacher to make these personal comments in front of others?

I'm not Tinkbell, but, I'll answer too, anyway,...

I would expect the situation to be handled professionally, be it a teacher/parent conversation or in another work environment, if there are concerns which need to be discussed, it should be in private...

 

[Wishing on a star]

But they do have the right to honesty.

Who said that the OP was not being honest????

The OP never said that they checked their child out of school for this event!!!!

This happened later that evening.

The OP was definately not hiding anything when they posed for photos for the newspapers.

I think it is indeed important to note that this a 'Christian' school.

However, being a teacher at a Christian School does not give anyone the right to be my judge and jury.

I have a right to my own private family life, free from unwarranted public comments.

 

[Sunny37]

nobody said they had the right to control your child.

EXACTLY! Get a grip!

 

[golfgal]

Who said that the OP was not being honest????

The OP never said that they checked their child out of school for this event!!!!

This happened later that evening.

The OP was definately not hiding anything when they posed for photos for the newspapers.

I think it is indeed important to note that this a 'Christian' school.

However, being a teacher at a Christian School does not give anyone the right to be my judge and jury.

I have a right to my own private family life, free from unwarranted public comments.

It does APPEAR that the OP wasn't being honest with the school and that is the essence of the problem.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Agreed! That is entirely possible.
I mentioned this in my initial post.

edited to add: I just copied my initial post below...

However, if a teacher has an issue with my childs attendance,
They should bring that up in PRIVATE!!!

 

[Nancy]

I do feel the teacher should not have made comments in front of others, but just maybe the teacher that he/she was being funny...or at least thought he/she was being funny...kinda like "ha ha you got busted." Also if I overheard the teacher making a comment I would have stepped in at that point and informed them if they had an issue with it that they should talk to me, not my DD. I would not take it any furthur unless it continues.

I used to miss school all the time when I was a senior. I would go to watch the hockey team practice at the local rink and get autographs. I did make sure that if any reporters or cameras were around that I stayed far away from them so no accidental shots of me there showed up anywhere.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

On whether or not to confront the teacher and/or principal about this issue: I am reminded of a quote by William James. "The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." My suggestion is that it'd be very wise to just overlook this. As someone else said, choose your battles wisely because some you will not win.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Here is my initial post...

While I can understand the teachers concern...
Perhaps he even felt the whole 'illness' was a lie???
And, I can understand a bit of curiosity....
However, I do feel that it was questionable to approach it the way he did.

As a parent, as long as I am abiding by school policy, then I do not feel like teachers have the right to 'watch my back' and make judgemental comments.

Basicly, it is my business, not his. If I personally show up to the school and check my child out for any reason. That is MY decision. Just because the teacher may not be in agreement with my decision, does not make it Okay to make it an issue. Even if I slipped and made a BAD decision, still does not give the teacher the right to make it an issue.

To the OP, as of now, it has only been the 'fishing' comments....
So, unless he says anything else, I would probably just let it slide.
If he happens to make comments to your DD, or any further comments in front of classmates or other parents, then I would definately want do something to address your concerns.

 

[bananiem]

Also, I think it is important to note here.

Are we discussing whether the OP should have done what she did, or whether the teachers public comments were appropriate?

TWO separate issues here.

You are right. I'm sorry, I judged the OP. That was unfair of me and I apologize. But the teacher part of me feels that the teacher has the right to say something to the parent, not the child and not in front of others.

 

[leighe]

I'm sorry but is this really such a big deal that a teacher said something to a child about this in front of other kids? Now I understand that it depends on what exactly the teacher said. if the teacher was yelling or making a huge issue of it then yes, that was completely inappropriate. If the teacher just kind of jokingly referenced the situtation then what is the big deal? Are kids really this sensitive? My mom wouldn't have thought twice about a teacher saying something to me in this situation and I can't say that I would either.

 

[Tinkbell]

Tinkbell,

So, you feel it was perfectly OK for the teacher to make these personal comments in front of others?

I was not there so I don't know the tone of the comments he made. I'm guessing it was done in a joking matter. She left school and was "caught" at the signing. I find that funny. If the teacher said it in a scolding way and harbors resentment, then he is out of line.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I'm confused--some people are saying that the OP lied to the school about why her DD was leaving. I thought that the DD wasn't feeling well, came home, rested, and then went back out. So the autograph session didn't happen during school hours and they didn't lie to the school.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I don't get the lying thing either - I think people are making an unwarranted assumption or just plain mistake.

 

[grlpwrd]

Who said that the OP was not being honest????

The OP never said that they checked their child out of school for this event!!!!

This happened later that evening.

The OP was definately not hiding anything when they posed for photos for the newspapers.

I think it is indeed important to note that this a 'Christian' school.

However, being a teacher at a Christian School does not give anyone the right to be my judge and jury.

I have a right to my own private family life, free from unwarranted public comments.

Well, most Christian schools have a policy and code of conduct that parents and/or students comply with...and just being Christian the assumption is made that you will conduct yourself accordingly.

Edited for clarity

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Are kids really this sensitive?

In today's world, apparenently.
Some of the parents here would absolutely hyperventilate over the things that happen at our school.

Kids grade each others Math papers and then call the scores out to the teacher who records them in the book. Bomb an assignment, everybody knows. Everybody also knows who is on the weekly ineligible lists for sports because of grades and everybody also knows who is emptying classroom wastebaskets at afternoon detention.

When people misbehave - your name gets written on the board and during recess you have to stand against the "bad kids" wall. Misbehave, everybody knows.

If you don't turn in your homework, your name gets written on the board. The class gets an extra time at recess for 100% homework participation. Everybody knows who ruined it for them.

the list goes on and on. As far as I know, nobody has been driven into therapy yet.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

As to keeping kids out of the school for attending certain events (or sleeping in after attending them), we're faced with that on a regular basis. My 12yo plays baseball and they have a fair number of 8PM games, which means the games don't get over until 10:30 at the earliest and then we have to drive home, which is at least 1/2 hour. So we're getting home at 11-11:30. Several of the kids on the team are allowed to sleep in the following morning, but I just can't go for that. My son knows that he can play in the game, but he has to be up and ready for school the next day. The most that we'd do is to drive him to school as opposed to him taking the bus, which would give him 15 or so minutes more sleep. School is first, in general. And of course the game is not a once in a lifetime activity. I did pull this same child out of school a couple days last January to bring him to WDW and I did tell the school the truth.

But, that isn't even the situation in the OP's situation.

 

[golfgal]

In today's world, apparenently.
Some of the parents here would absolutely hyperventilate over the things that happen at our school.

Kids grade each others Math papers and then call the scores out to the teacher who records them in the book. Bomb an assignment, everybody knows. Everybody also knows who is on the weekly ineligible lists for sports because of grades and everybody also knows who is emptying classroom wastebaskets at afternoon detention.

When people misbehave - your name gets written on the board and during recess you have to stand against the "bad kids" wall. Misbehave, everybody knows.

If you don't turn in your homework, your name gets written on the board. The class gets an extra time at recess for 100% homework participation. Everybody knows who ruined it for them.

the list goes on and on. As far as I know, nobody has been driven into therapy yet.

There is a lot to be said for peer pressure and behaving in school. Most of this happens at our school too. I see nothing wrong with it (except for the kid that didn't like my DS and would grade his paper wrong on purpose-but a quick talk with the teacher took care of that).

 

[Marseeya]

the list goes on and on. As far as I know, nobody has been driven into therapy yet.

My beautiful, talented, creative little girl is humiliated by things like this every day. Her IQ is low, but not low enough for special services, and the discrepancy between ability and achievement isn't great enough for services. So she has to muddle through and get bad grades. It's so degrading for her to have precious little Susie grade her paper and write a big fat F across the top and tease her about it later.

I think it's wrong, wrong, wrong. I'd like to know where teachers learned this sort of tactic, because I sure as hell never learned it in MY ed psych classes.

Count me as proud of having a "sensitive" daughter. Things like this hurt her, but she's also sensitive enough not to treat others this same way.

 

[golfgal]

As to keeping kids out of the school for attending certain events (or sleeping in after attending them), we're faced with that on a regular basis. My 12yo plays baseball and they have a fair number of 8PM games, which means the games don't get over until 10:30 at the earliest and then we have to drive home, which is at least 1/2 hour. So we're getting home at 11-11:30. Several of the kids on the team are allowed to sleep in the following morning, but I just can't go for that. My son knows that he can play in the game, but he has to be up and ready for school the next day. The most that we'd do is to drive him to school as opposed to him taking the bus, which would give him 15 or so minutes more sleep. School is first, in general. And of course the game is not a once in a lifetime activity. I did pull this same child out of school a couple days last January to bring him to WDW and I did tell the school the truth.

But, that isn't even the situation in the OP's situation.

The figure skating club in town has lessons at noon everyday during their season which is Oct1-March 31-so pretty much the whole school year. There are parents that pull their kids out of school for an hour every day for skating lessons-lunch time is 11:00-12:00 depending on what grade you are in. Most of these families attend the private schools and feel since they are paying tuition they can do that. Then when competitions start, the kids are missing about 2-3 Friday's month to go to their competitions. I just can't believe that people do that. NONE of these kids are anywhere close to being Olympic caliber.