Just wanted to say I can sympathize. My husband is on expat assignment in India. The kids and I live there most of the time, but come back to the U.S. about one month out of 3. We're in the U.S. now and should have flown back in March but we've decided to stay put for the next couple months and DH just come and visit here in a few weeks.
Like you, my primary fear is not the (hopefully low) chance of actually catching the virus on the plane or in India where there is no current outbreak as far as we know. My big fear is the kids pick up something (e.g. regular flu, strep throat, etc.) and I'm nervous to take them to the doctor for fear of them being put in a quarantine hospital while awaiting COVID-19 test results. Granted, they would probably tell us just to self-quarantine at home or maybe not even mention it, but even the tiny possibility of my kids being sent to the govt hospitals that are being used for COVID-19 quarantine purposes in India sends chills up my spine---they don't even have a/c and it is hot year round in Mumbai. I don't even want to think what an actual outbreak in India would look like.
So for now my kids and I are staying put in the U.S. with DH planning to visit for a week and a half in March and then joining us again in late April for a mutigenerational vacation (that includes a
Disney cruise--hopefully that still seems safe by then). I tentatively plan to take the kids back to India after that in Mid-May.
Anyway, just wanted to say I know where you are coming from and honestly, for me, an optional vacation would just not be worth the worry. But...I will admit I am a BIG worrier so calmer folks might feel quite differently. Plus if you're not traveling with kids there are a lot less concerns about picking up the random bugs that children tend to do with their suspect hygiene habits.