AARRRGGG - need to vent

[mdsoccermom]

I'm not sure I get the problem. Is your niece supposed to quit school? She certainly can't help she was born first and that her school has different standards or she's smarter.

And it just sounds like your sister was really excited about seeing the college and wanted to share that. I would think that sharing something like that with a sister that was dealing with the same would be appropriate.

I understand that *you feel* as though your daughter is over-shadowed - but you are responsible for those feelings - you need to adjust your outlook. Really other than the possibility of your parents bowing out of attending your daughter's graduation - it sounds like sour grapes.

I agree and really can't see the problem. I mean, should the sister never talk of her child? Unless she is totally bragging and putting down the OPs daughter I don't see a problem.

The OP is the only one who can decide if it's a competition or not.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Seems like every family has one of these. We certainly do. Our boys learned long ago that they couldn't say anything about an accomplishment to their aunt without her responding with something better that their cousin did. It is a standing joke in the family now.

Bottom line - if you have confidence in your kids and have taught them to have confidence in themselves, this stuff barely registers.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Stop discussing your daughter's school business with your sister. It's that simple. There's no reason for her to know your daughter's grades, test scores, etc. Keep it simple - let family know about graduation, etc., but keep the rest of the stuff to yourself. It can't be a competition unless *both* parties make it one. When its one-sided, its just an overbearing mother bragging about her child.

ITA.

I'd just steer clear of all of that talk. It will be hard to do, because of the history of sharing but you can do it.

Instead of leaving it to chance, ask your parents if they plan to come to your DD's graduation. Tell them it's important to her. Find out. It sounds stressful for you to wonder how that will pan out.

I'd discourage DD from sharing personal information with her aunt and cousin. Teens are really good at shrugging stuff off, saying, "I don't know.", and generally being evasive. Better than adults. I guess we lose that as we get older. But it is useful.

Be kind to yourself and your sister. A good part of it might be it's taken on a life of it's own without too much thought. Back away. Talk about different things other than your DD's. I know they are the pride and joy of your lives but as sisters you have a lot of memories to talk about and things you two can do together. Steer the conversations in different directions as much as you can. Be evasive when you can't maneuver away from topics you don't want to discuss.