A Vent - Stand duty for sports

[klj27]

Honestly- I do not want to work anything when my kids play sports. I want to watch them play! I pay for them to be in whatever league. It's not cheap and even still I would rather pay more then be forced to sell hot dogs. I have 5 children- so if one is playing I still have to tend to the others and they also like to watch their sibling play. It is a family event for us. As far as it "being for the kids!" I volunteer at school for a ton of things. I am even on the PTA board. I simply feel that if I am paying for an activity then I shouldn't have to work at it too. This is extra curricular that I pay a lot for.

I hear what you are saying.... but one question keeps coming back to me....... if not you, then who? Everyone is a volunteer in our league. The coaches volunteer, the person in charge of concessions volunteers, the people who make sure the fields are ready volunteer. If I don't show up for my concession stand duty, another parent has to volunteer double because of me. Maybe it is because everyone is a volunteer that our fees stay reasonable and I don't mind working the two hour shift. This year we paid a one time a year family fee of $50 and I paid $45 each for my sons to play baseball. It also covers the end of the season tournament.

 

[brockash]

Taken aback?

Maybe it is because my oldest son is 20 and my youngest is 7 .... but frankly I am just about "volunteered and fundraised" out. My husband and I have coached, we have tutored, we have mentored, we have collected tickets at the gate, we have chaperoned, we have sold everything from overpriced wrapping paper to rubber ducks that float down a river and you hope yours wins!!!! Frankly, it never ends and every time a parent turns around anymore there is somebody else standing there wanting my time, my money, or both all in the name of "but it's for the kids!"

I'm over the "if you loved your children you wouldn't mind....." thing. It doesn't work on me anymore.

Yeah, let me pay some extra money and hire a 13 year old kid to hawk the Bubbleiscious and Tab soda. I want to sit and watch the game.

Right, and Op has already stated that that would be perfectly fine, and was an option, for the parent in question to do, however they refused to do that as well. I get being volunteered and fundraised out, but if you sign your child up for something and part of the signing them up is that you have to agree to do a or b and then you refuse to do either...that seems beyond rediculous, wouldn't you say?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'm sorry if this has been said already.

But not every kid is fortunate enough to have parents that are willing or able to help out.

The way it sounds is if it's expected that they will. I don't get that.

Sometimes kids are lucky if they're able to play the sport at all. Isn't that somehow recognized by people? It's not the kids fault that their parents are, as someone else mentioned (or didn't mention, lol) flakes.

I think it's assuming a lot to think that everyone has the time and ability to run the concession stand.

 

[Ceila]

Then she asked me if my husband could drop her daughter off after the game tonite! She said that she doesn't feel like staying the whole game bc they are so boring!

Unbelievable! She really has some nerve. I hope you told her no.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm sorry if this has been said already.

But not every kid is fortunate enough to have parents that are willing or able to help out.

The way it sounds is if it's expected that they will. I don't get that.

Sometimes kids are lucky if they're able to play the sport at all. Isn't that somehow recognized by people? It's not the kids fault that their parents are, as someone else mentioned (or didn't mention, lol) flakes.

I think it's assuming a lot to think that everyone has the time and ability to run the concession stand.

I agree.. What about the single mom who is working 2 or 3 jobs to keep food on the table?

The parents who have another child who is fighting cancer or some other serious illness?

Kids who are being raised by an elderly grandparent?

It's just not as cut and dried as some believe..

 

[Ceila]

I'm sorry if this has been said already.

But not every kid is fortunate enough to have parents that are willing or able to help out.

The way it sounds is if it's expected that they will. I don't get that.

Sometimes kids are lucky if they're able to play the sport at all. Isn't that somehow recognized by people? It's not the kids fault that their parents are, as someone else mentioned (or didn't mention, lol) flakes.

I think it's assuming a lot to think that everyone has the time and ability to run the concession stand.

In the case of the OP, it's one 1.5 hour shift or $25. If there is a family with a hardship, I'm sure they could talk to the league leadership.

 

[FireDancer]

Mandating volunteering as as nonsensical as mandating gratuity. It is an oxymoron. If there is no one there to volunteer then the stand stays closed, easy.

No one should ever be forced to volunteer, that is why it is called a volunteer. Perhaps they should all volunteer, but it should never be mandatory.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

In the case of the OP, it's one 1.5 hour shift or $25.

And as sad as that may seem, it may be beyond what some parents are capable of giving.

There are many possibilities as to why, but what seems sad to me here is that it doesn't seem to be understood by people.

Not every family is an ideal family with people who are willing or able to help out.

I shouldn't have to spell it out more than that, but consider the possibilities. Maybe someone can't read. Maybe someone doesn't drive or can't afford a functional car. Maybe someone's drug addicted or drunk at home. Maybe someone is mentally or physically handicapped. Maybe someone's depressed or agoraphobic. Maybe someone is schizophrenic. The possibilities are endless...

Does everyone live in such an ideal world that they can't appreciate these issues in some families?

 

[Hubbs]

I agree.. What about the single mom who is working 2 or 3 jobs to keep food on the table?

The parents who have another child who is fighting cancer or some other serious illness?

Kids who are being raised by an elderly grandparent?

It's just not as cut and dried as some believe..

We actually have each of these situations on my sons team. These are the parents/guardians that do the most volunteering. Some are even coaches.

Bottom line is that when you sign up your child you are fully aware that there will be some sort of volunteering needed to keep the costs down. Keep in mind that everyone that runs the league is a volunteer from the president down to the coaches.

 

[jen0610]

4 hours per kid? There is no way, I know people who have 5 kids playing

For our league, it's $25.00 per kid, with a family max of $50.00. If you want your money back, you would have to work a 4 hour shift for each kid.

Honestly- I do not want to work anything when my kids play sports. I want to watch them play! I pay for them to be in whatever league.

And with our league - you would never have to work on a night that your kid plays. We work very hard to make sure the nights that each team is given, does not fall on a night that your kids are scheduled to play. When there are rain outs, it sometimes happens, but most of the time you can work with the snack shack manager to trade with another mom or say this time, just hire a teen to work for me. Now if you have multipule kids playing, with a league of over 300 kids, we can't always make sure that the nights assigned to your sons team in the minors doesn't fall on a night that your daughter in softball prep has a game. If both dates given to your team don't work out, you note on the form you can't work and write down your number. The snack director or manager will get in touch with you to schedule to a different day.

There have been times when I would have a mom that due to multipule rain outs, the night she agreed to work, she actually had a kid playing on one of the diamonds, in a make up game. Since we weren't real busy, (and we almost never were by my standards, too busy to let a mom sneak out for a few) I would tell her to go watch an inning. She did. When she came back, one of the moms had given her their push to talk cell phones and she kept her up to date on the score and to let her know when her son was coming up to bat. Every time he was due up, I sent her down to watch.

Working the snack shack was always fun for me. A lot of the moms were blow away with how many of the kids - players and none playing siblings I knew. Knew by name and what they wanted to eat or drink.

 

[castleview]

Exactly!

I think the kids would be just as happy without all the uniforms, fancy equipment, bleachers on the fields, paid umps, etc. Why have these sports become so time consuming and all-encompassing?

Precisely. Does a 12 yr. old really need a $200 bat?

 

[luvsJack]

And as sad as that may seem, it may be beyond what some parents are capable of giving.

There are many possibilities as to why, but what seems sad to me here is that it doesn't seem to be understood by people.

Not every family is an ideal family with people who are willing or able to help out.

I shouldn't have to spell it out more than that, but consider the possibilities. Maybe someone can't read. Maybe someone doesn't drive or can't afford a functional car. Maybe someone's drug addicted or drunk at home. Maybe someone is mentally or physically handicapped. Maybe someone's depressed or agoraphobic. Maybe someone is schizophrenic. The possibilities are endless...

Does everyone live in such an ideal world that they can't appreciate these issues in some families?

All of this is so true. Thats why it seems the idea of team parent meetings so that the volunteering can be discussed and all the holes filled is better than just assigning times.

When my oldest was in hs, I was pregnant during summer league baseball and then had a baby to look after during the next regular season. We were all supposed to work in the concession stand a certain amount of time, but because they knew it was hard for me, being pregnant and then with the baby; the other mothers offered to fill my spots for me. I did the same for other mothers during times they needed me to.

When I was in charge of getting people to sign up for the gate and concessions, it just worked out much better discussing the problem with all the parents. If a there were some parents that just couldn't (or wouldn't) help, we always got the spots filled.

 

[SnowWhite607]

I do not know a teen but they are allowed to work the stands as long as they are 16+. I am just aggravated bc my husband coaches their daughter 3 nights a week, has driven her home occasionally bc the mom has never came to pick her up, and we have worked the stand even though we didn't have to bc he is the coach. I worked it so that everyone only had to work it once instead of having a couple people work it twice.

She is just being a pita about it. She does have an older daughter that she could ask to work the stand for her but honestly it's not her older daughter's responsibilty, it's hers.

As for the consequences of her not working the stand, when she registers next year or for fall ball she is going to be made to pay $50 on top of her registration. She will only receive $25 back if she works the stand next year. The other $25 will be kept by the association. She knows this tho as it was in the registration papers that she had to sign to sign her daughter up. I guess she doesn't care? Who knows.

Thank you for this. From one coach's wife to another (my DH also coaches HS softball), we always have one or 2 bad apples who spoil the whole bunch. There is always one parent who wants to buck the system and makes it unpleasant for the others, including myself. I feel like saying "my husband spends more time coaching YOUR daughter than he spends with his own daughter and you have the NERVE to say 'you dont feel like it'?? Well maybe he doesnt feel like going out on Sunday to hit your daughter some balls so she can get better. Maybe he doesnt feel like writing her a recommandation for college or JNHS or whatever it is. Maybe he doesnt feel like driving you home every day after parctice cause its 7pm and he has been at work since 7am." Are you kidding me????? Some people just need to suck it up and ppitch in. We want the kids to work together as a team but the parents dont??

 

[Mouse House Mama]

For our league, it's $25.00 per kid, with a family max of $50.00. If you want your money back, you would have to work a 4 hour shift for each kid.



And with our league - you would never have to work on a night that your kid plays. We work very hard to make sure the nights that each team is given, does not fall on a night that your kids are scheduled to play. When there are rain outs, it sometimes happens, but most of the time you can work with the snack shack manager to trade with another mom or say this time, just hire a teen to work for me. Now if you have multipule kids playing, with a league of over 300 kids, we can't always make sure that the nights assigned to your sons team in the minors doesn't fall on a night that your daughter in softball prep has a game. If both dates given to your team don't work out, you note on the form you can't work and write down your number. The snack director or manager will get in touch with you to schedule to a different day.

There have been times when I would have a mom that due to multipule rain outs, the night she agreed to work, she actually had a kid playing on one of the diamonds, in a make up game. Since we weren't real busy, (and we almost never were by my standards, too busy to let a mom sneak out for a few) I would tell her to go watch an inning. She did. When she came back, one of the moms had given her their push to talk cell phones and she kept her up to date on the score and to let her know when her son was coming up to bat. Every time he was due up, I sent her down to watch.

Working the snack shack was always fun for me. A lot of the moms were blow away with how many of the kids - players and none playing siblings I knew. Knew by name and what they wanted to eat or drink.

I bolded. If my child plays a sport then I know what nights they have practices and games. I then work my calendar around who is doing what. With 5 kids there is always someone who has an activity every day of the week. No I am not kidding. So if my child isn't playing say on Monday that doesn't mean that my Monday's are free. It means I have something else to do that day. I would rather pay a few dollars more than have to commit more time to something like selling food. Sorry but I am all for volunteering but it should not be mandatory. If you ask me 9 times out of 10 I will make the effort to help out. If you demand that I volunteer then you can forget it. I am active in my children's activities. I personally don't like someone telling me that I must do it. It is called volunteering for a reason- it is done voluntarily.

 

[SnowWhite607]

Really my mom was always working our stand. My brothers played, I was too old, but she worked her shift for their teams, and then bc she could not say no she would end up filling in empty spots for flaky parents like in the OP's example. My brothers are 30 and 26.

I agree with you, I am 42 and my mom worked in the concession stands on Friday nights when I was marching in the band during the football games. So that "hoopla" has been around for a while.

 

[MushyMushy]

I agree with you, I am 42 and my mom worked in the concession stands on Friday nights when I was marching in the band during the football games. So that "hoopla" has been around for a while.

Really? It was mandatory back in the 80s?

Like I said, that's why we had -- and still have -- boosters. Volunteers, the real thing, not forced participation.

 

[C.Ann]

We actually have each of these situations on my sons team. These are the parents/guardians that do the most volunteering. Some are even coaches.

Bottom line is that when you sign up your child you are fully aware that there will be some sort of volunteering needed to keep the costs down. Keep in mind that everyone that runs the league is a volunteer from the president down to the coaches.

That's wonderful! But it still doesn't mean it would work for every person in those situations..

 

[Hubbs]

At least in our town youth sports are not meant to be an unbearable burden for parents. Yes parents are expected to do their part to help support our provide quality sports for their kids. However if there are legitimate reasons for someone not volunteering then exceptions and accomodations are made. We provide the participation in the sport free of charge (private donations make this possible) for those who can not afford it. Good reasons for not helping out are always accepted.

But "because I don't want to" is not a good reason. Saying it is a 30 minute drive is not a good reason. Other excuses I have heard are: I am a single parent (tell that to the father who coached his sons basketball game the day after his wife died of breast cancer); I work full time (we all do); I have other kids (tell that to the mother who has 7 kids all involved in a variety things). Too many people think that they are too busy to be involved or have already done too much volunteering. And it usually ends up being a few parents we can count on. Seems unfair they are always helping out while others just sit and watch.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm sorry if this has been said already.

But not every kid is fortunate enough to have parents that are willing or able to help out.

The way it sounds is if it's expected that they will. I don't get that.

Sometimes kids are lucky if they're able to play the sport at all. Isn't that somehow recognized by people? It's not the kids fault that their parents are, as someone else mentioned (or didn't mention, lol) flakes.

I think it's assuming a lot to think that everyone has the time and ability to run the concession stand.

I agree.. What about the single mom who is working 2 or 3 jobs to keep food on the table?

The parents who have another child who is fighting cancer or some other serious illness?

Kids who are being raised by an elderly grandparent?

It's just not as cut and dried as some believe..

I'm pretty sure that in cases where its impossible there would be other options, but the mother in the OP "just doesn't feel like driving". She agreed to the terms when she signed her child up, if there were issues that prevented her from doing it, it could be worked out. However flaking out is just that and its not covered under the circumstances C.Ann listed. Those things that aren't cut and dry need to be discussed beforehand because most people understand that not all parents are capable and other arrangements could be worked out for your family. However when you are capable, it is expected and pretty cut and dry.

 

[allison443]

And as sad as that may seem, it may be beyond what some parents are capable of giving.

There are many possibilities as to why, but what seems sad to me here is that it doesn't seem to be understood by people.

Not every family is an ideal family with people who are willing or able to help out.

I shouldn't have to spell it out more than that, but consider the possibilities. Maybe someone can't read. Maybe someone doesn't drive or can't afford a functional car. Maybe someone's drug addicted or drunk at home. Maybe someone is mentally or physically handicapped. Maybe someone's depressed or agoraphobic. Maybe someone is schizophrenic. The possibilities are endless...

Does everyone live in such an ideal world that they can't appreciate these issues in some families?

The OP was talking about someone who "didn't want to work the stand" not someone with a valid issue. No one has said that valid issues wouldn't or shouldn't be taken into consideration. Do you think someone saying "I don't want to do it" is a good reason?