MISSION RECORD
OPERATION "SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN"
23 SEPTEMBER 2010
1128 HRS EST
***---EYES ONLY---***
Our infiltration of China was successful. No one questioned our documents at customs, so our cover identities as American tourists seemed to be holding up well. We used our super-secret spy phone to check in with HQ and download both intelligence (of which I was noticeably lacking) and our assignments. Our mission, if we chose to accept it, was the recovery of a valuable jade monkey that had been stolen from a local museum. The first assignment involved finding a
[REDACTED].
My superiors are informing me that enemy agents are everywhere, and giving away mission secrets (or "spoilers", as we say in the business) may not be appreciated by our agents still in the field. So I'll try not to give away the secrets for those of you who have yet to experience these missions.
That being said, the Kim Possible spy missions are
Freakin' Awesome. That's right. Not just awesome. Freakin' Awesome. We'd never even seen one episode of Kim Possible, and it didn't matter one bit.
Each mission generally had 4 tasks, and a tone would sound at the end of each one. According to HQ, this was the "sharing signal", so the kids would know that they had to pass it off to the next one so each kid would get a chance to push the buttons and do the tasks in turn. It worked like a charm. Our kids were able to share the phone all day, getting along beautifully and never once complaining that one of them was getting short shrift. It was the Holy Grail of parenting. Somewhere, I heard the Hallelujah Chorus playing in the distance.
Here we are receiving our instructions. Thankfully, the phone did not self-destruct:
We had also bought the Epcot passport kits for each kid ($10 apiece), which included a passport book, button, and stickers for each country. We would search each country for the KidCot stops where a representative of that nation would stamp the passport and write a greeting in their native language to the kids. The woman at China was wonderful, taking the time to greet each of our kids and writing their names in Chinese. She also told them what creatures represented their birth years, but I appear to have destroyed those records so they wouldn't fall into enemy hands. Perhaps Agent Knowitall will be able to chime in there. In any case, the interaction with the cast members was uniformly wonderful, and we felt the passports were a worthy investment. Although I believe they'll stamp just about anything for you, so cheapskates can have fun with it too.
Anyway, the spy missions ended up being so much fun that we spent the ENTIRE DAY doing spy missions--all 7 of them. The kids would have done more if they'd been available. Each one is like a big scavenger hunt, and the secret doors, cameras and gadgets are so well-integrated into the decor that you'd never know they were there unless you were on a mission and looking for them. Part of the game even involved learning a code phrase to give to a cast member in order to receive intel in return. I remember thinking the World Showcase was boring when I was a kid. If they'd had these missions back then, I never would have left. Of all the new attractions/updates to the parks in the last few years, we think this is the best. It's certainly a remarkable tribute to the ingenuity of Disney Imagineers.
We have many pictures of the results of the missions, but those have been redacted as well. We did, however, find time to appreciate the art and detail work that was put into each country.
Our mission was ultimately successful, and we recovered the Jade Monkey (the reveal of which was a treat). We walked from China to Norway (how many times do you get to write that sentence?) to take on our next mission, again having no difficulty with customs.
The kids were eager to start the next mission, but my dad looked over and saw a 5-minute wait posted for the Maelstrom (imagine that!). So, he called over and said, "Hey! Let's ride the Maelstrom!" (Again I ask, how many times in your life do you get to type these sentences?)
The Maelstrom was... air-conditioned. The kids were cowering in the darkness, but seemed to survive ok. According to my spy logbook, the ride involved vikings, a nasty-looking troll, and an oil rig. I wasn't sure what they had to do with anything, but whatever. The problem came when the ride was stopped while we were within sight of the exit. The red doors to the theater/exit were open, and we were agonizingly close, but couldn't get off the ride. As any Disney veteran will tell you, you don't want to have the doors close, because then you have to wait out the film before they let you leave. At long last, the boats started moving again. We unloaded as fast as we could and made a desperate dash for the red doors...
Only to see them close in our face.
At least the movie's only 5 minutes or so. We could wait five minutes. I won't consider myself in trouble until I start weeping blood.
From there, we took care of our mission in Norway. The only downside to that mission was that it made us run the gauntlet of the big perfume shop at least 4 times. It was obvious that evil agents from SD-6 had stocked it with their most noxious poison gases in an attempt to thwart our mission. Some big-shot Norwegian perfume designer was there, showing off his latest fragrance, Flatulence ©. I think he was one of the evil operatives, the one they call the Sand Spider. Probably because it sounds scary.
Nevertheless, we perservered and saved Norway. It was time for a reward for serving our country.
We had a 1:35 p.m. ADR at Le Cellier in Canada. I know, I know, it's impossible to get a reservation at Le Cellier. Not for world-class operatives, it isn't. It's quite simple, actually. You just have to
[REDACTED], then you
[REDACTED], and then it's just a matter of
[REDACTED]. I know, right? Who would ever think it was that easy?
Our cover story was that I'd found only one time available during our week and snatched it up 6 months prior, even before we'd booked the actual vacation.
For years, Le Cellier has been our favorite place to eat in the parks, just because we've never had steaks that good anywhere else. Add the pretzel bread and cheddar cheese soup, and...
Food heaven.
I took a seat with my back to a wall and facing the entrance, of course. I don't want to give away too many details, but I can tell you that our waitress was left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighed two hundred fifteen pounds and knew how to handle himself. We went off the dining plan just so we could get cheddar cheese soup as an appetizer. We also asked for extra pretzel bread, and were obliged.
I also asked for a Coke. Shaken, not stirred. No, wait, that might have been messy. Maybe it was the other way around.
Sarah surprised us by asking for some soup as well. Parenting Rule No. 67: always encourage your child's love of cheddar cheese.
The hot steaming Bowls of Awesome were placed before us, and we were soon dispensing with the spoons and dipping in with the bread. There's a simple mathematical equation to represent this combination:
Cheddar Cheese Soup + Pretzel Bread = Perfection ^(Stupendous)
After that, the steaks might have been an afterthought, but my NY strip steak was tender and melt-in-your-mouth delicious, as usual. Topping it off with chocolate cake was a fitting way to end the meal.
Here are my fellow agents, after suffering so greatly in the name of serving our country. HQ has approved this picture, noting that we will have completely different cover identities and appearances the next time you see us:
Um...Dad? What are you looking at?
Coming Up Next: The super-secret spy missions continue. Plus, the long-awaited return of Stupid Hat Pictures ®!
That makes one vote.
(one of three resorts you couldn't pay us to stay at).
Finally one for an old movie geek!!!
to the boards! We're always happy to have more dads in the DIS Dads Club as well.
...e ela realmente merece muitos elogios pelas fotos...and she really deserves a lot of praise for her pictures..
movies (even the muppets--go figure..he loves Everest but is afraid of the Muppet movie--
)!!!
Our next trip is over a year away! We will also be taking 3 grandparents and my sil & bil (none of whom have been to Disney).
