A Thread for healing.

[windwalker]

I'm often accused of being deep, sometimes to deep. Well we are the result of all our trials and scars, our failures and victories. Someone once said, I'm sorry I don't remember who, "It's not getting knocked down that builds character it's getting back up. I have a black belt and a PHD in getting back up.

To start with I was raised by my mom after a divorce and we were very poor. It's hard to be popular in school when you can't afford the clothes the cool kids wear and you don't have any money for the after school socializing. It's hard growing up being a little skinny kid that's the favorite target of the school bullies. I would have had a miserable childhood except for a few friends that were the poor picked on kids like I was.

The pain you experience from the cruelty of others is hard to deal with. When you are poor or heavy or skinny or just not good at sports and stuff or you get tongue tied when you talk, you can become the blunt end of the other cool kids jokes.

It took me years to make peace with me. I've spent a life time learning that everyone has value and everyone is worth caring for, even me. I wasn't popular or good looking or any good at anything I did. I still can't fix stuff, I don't have the fix it gene. What I discovered that I was good at was caring about other people and helping them look at things from a view point of being valueable. I had to learn that I was ok and I could contribute something to the world, even if it was just helping others realize that they were valuable and special.

Having come from a back ground of low self esteam I have spent a lifetime stopping that pain and healing those scars. I spend a lot of time now reaching out to others who are still healing and stopping the pain. I have finally discovered that if you just stop trying to campare yourself to others and just be who you are and work to change what you can and accept what you can't, you really can be happy.

If you have experienced the pain of feeling you aren't as good as some other people becasue your heavy or not very good looking or you don't for what ever reason fit in, I understrand. Been there done that.

If you want to let off a little steam or share your story, please do, you are among friends and friends care about you for who you are not how you look or how good you are at doing things. This, I know is a different kind of post but I thought you might like to know more about the goofy fellow who writes about positive can do attitudes and how you can accomoplish your dreams if you just believe.

Humble Panda

 

[windwalker]

I was a runner for a long time, I was never an especially fast runner though. When I was in my 30s and running regularly I could crank out 7 min miles for the 5K and 10K races but that still just puts you in the front of the mid packers. I worked hard at it to. I trained and ate good and used the best advice going at then time. This was before we had to worry about whether you needed a stability or a motion control shoe, they were all pretty much the same.

Running was a wonderful thing for a guy with a need to belong somewhere. Most of the running crowd were people like me, not super athletes but regular folks looking for new experiences and enjoying how regular exercise made them feel. When you go to a "Race", you find people of all sizes and abilities and everyone is there for the same reason, to test themselves and have fun.

I became a student of exercise and fitness since I had found something I could do and there was so much to learn about it. I read everything I could find about the subject. I had long talks with doctors who were fitness oriented, often having conversations with them when we went on runs together. One of the advanages of being in the military was that the doctors had to pass fitness tests themselves so would often be out on the running tracks.

I would take every advantage I could to talk with visiting athletes when they would come to the base as part of a tour. I had a nice conversation with Bruce Jenner when he visited England AFB in La. He was on a tour after he won his gold at the Olympic games. One of the things I learned from him was that although he was primarily a runner he did a lot of training in the pool since it was easier on his legs. This was before cross training was the buzz word it is now.

Having found something I could do, I wanted to share with others. I started one of the first aerobics classes in the Air Force. It was called the Super Sarge class and it was for people who had failed the annual fitness test or who had been put on the weight control program. This was a very big deal for me for a couple of reasons. First having been painfully shy all my life I was having to speak in front of a crowd. Second I was working with a lot of people who had low self esteam like I had most of my life. A lot of the people I worked with used eating as an escape and as a substitute for friends. A lot more learning for me here from people who were trying to heal a lot of hurt them selves.

When I was accepted into the First Sgt corp I finally had the opportunity to really make a difference. I ended my career as the First Sgt of a large medical group and in that position I developed a lot of fitness programs for the base. I had the whole range of specialists to confer with as I put together these programs. My last program was a fitness competition that started at my base and worked so well that it was adapted by several other bases.

I retired and became a worker bee. I had no more troops to work with and since I wasn't a warrior anymore, no need to stay in shape. So for seven years I just worked, ate and generally just went through the motions of living. Then I turned 50! I took a good look at myself and was shocked. I sort of came through my stupor and started my journey again to being strong and healthy. I suppose I needed that 7 year brake after all my years of staying in shape, not sure why but most things happen for a reason.

I started back walking since I was to out of shape to run and walked for the next year. Then after a year and losing about 50 to 80 lbs, not sure exactly since I was afraid to get on the scale for a long time, I started running again. It took me about a year to wreak my left achillies tendon and running became a pain literally. So after another year of trying to continue to be a runner taking breaks to heal and then hurt again as soon as I started back I finally stopped. I still wanted to train and do the races but I couldn't run without pain. There are several fast walkers in my area that raced and most of the races were done in to parts with a run race and a compeitive walk race. I converted to walker.

I found a new passion. I could walk without pain and I could train just as I did as a runner. And "Oh My God", I was good at it. Much better than I was as a runner. Walking opened up a whole new world of training and learning for me.

Walking Panda