A tacky theme for a bridal shower?

[redshoes]

Here's the background, please give me your honest opinion.
I'm hosting a bridal shower for my FSIL. For some reason my mother thinks that I as 28 year old women am unable to do this event on my own and has decided that she will help me. This is a family event; my grandmas, aunts, cousins etc are invited. The bride and groom will be moving across country after the wedding because my brother is stationed back East.
Okay, here is where I need your opinion: I was talking to my mother about final details of this event and I told her that I had the invites just about done and I had planned to drop them in mail today. She asked what I decided to do as the "theme" and I told that I had decided to just not have a theme (so no kitchen shower etc). My mom informed me that she and the bride were talking and that they think it is best to include on the shower invites that this is a "gift card" shower. I told my Mom that I thought that was totally tacky and that I guess I am "old school" when it comes to things like this because I dont think you tell people what they can and cant buy a person as a gift. In my mind I dont think I would attend a shower if that was was the theme. I understand that they are moving and that they will have limited space for things, but why not do what everyone else does when they get married- if you get something that you dont want you return it for a gift card.
Please weigh in and give me your opinion, my Mom thinks that I'm out of line for throwing a fit about this. So, I need to have someone's outside view.

 

[hentob]

You are right..VERY, VERY tacky

 

[Brianne]

I vote for 100% tacky. Shower or not, one should never assume that they'll receive gifts! To put that on an invitation is plain wrong. If the bride wants gift cards that badly, then she should register for them, IMHO.

Stick to your guns on this one, I think.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

i think that is very tacky!

 

[lulugirl]

I agree w/ the above posters, very tacky!

 

[Evil Genius]

If they weren't moving cross country I would say it was tacky. But with the wedding and the move, etc, I don't see where there will be time to return something for a card if they don't like it. Honestly, in this situation I think it makes sense.

 

[malibuconlee]

I agree with you, it's tacky. Let people give what they want to give.

I'd probably also pass on attending a shower with that as the "theme" unless I absolutely had to go.

 

[WonderfulDreamer2]

Absolutely tacky. If people call you and ask for suggestions, thats one thing, but do not tell people what to bring.
I have skipped a dear friends childs BD party because in the invitation it said that all the child needed was clothes and she only wore Tommy Hilfiger. I said no way. When people start telling me what to buy for a gift, its no longer a gift.
You're dead on and need to show you mom the posts here.

 

[hlbtimes2]

Yep, very tacky to put in on the invite. That is something that could possibly be spread by word of mouth. If people start calling, asking what they need/ want, you could say, "well, since they will be moving soon, gift cards would be nice"- but DONT put it in the invites. Besides, what fun would the shower be watching the bride open a stack of cards?

 

[UrsulasMyHero]

it is tacky.

 

[hmgolden]

Given that they are moving across the country I don't think its tacky.

I don't see how its any different than sticking those little 'the bride and groom are registered at such and such a store' cards in the shower invitation. Every shower I have ever been invited too has has those cards included in the invitation. I never thought that was tacky. Its a bridal shower - of course I am going to show up with a gift!

 

[MamaLema]

It's always tacky to request a certain kind of gift, even if it's what you really want.

 

[redshoes]

. Besides, what fun would the shower be watching the bride open a stack of cards?

This is what I told my Mom. No reason to hold a shower if the bride is just going to open cards. I told her that we might has well include a self-addressed stamped envelope with the invite and a due date for when the card should be returned. Needless to say this comment was not well received.

 

[Kimberly815]

As a bridesmaid in a wedding (shower duties completed a couple of weeks ago) and a bridesmaid in another wedding (shower to be held a couple of weeks from now) and a bride myselft. . . .I have to say it is totally TACKY!

I am sorry, but all this wedding stuff is making me not want to have a wedding of my own. This is my opinion of the whole thing: People are giving and doing such wonderful things for you out of the goodness of their hearts. . .so your choice as the bride is to get NOTHING, or thank people from the bottom of your heart for anything they give you (even if you think it stinks!). And that includes the location, theme, food etc for the shower itself.

There, I said it. And that's exactly how I plan to handle anything that is given to me for any sort of a shower/wedding gift.- or any lack there of.

 

[Crankyshank]

It's tacky to put it on the invitations.
I lived over a thousand miles away from where my wedding and shower was. Honestly there's not enough time to deal with the hassle of returning all of those gifts (especially without a receipt) and then there's having people find out you returned their gift and getting mad.

What my Mother did was call people and mention that since I lived so far away and am just starting out/can't afford to ship things if they would keep that in mind when they were deciding on a shower gift. People weren't being told what to buy and it wasn't printed on the invitations but yet the word got out. as a result I had things shipped to my apt in FL or I got gift cards and it worked out great.

 

[mickeyboat]

Yep, very tacky to put in on the invite. That is something that could possibly be spread by word of mouth. If people start calling, asking what they need/ want, you could say, "well, since they will be moving soon, gift cards would be nice"- but DONT put it in the invites. Besides, what fun would the shower be watching the bride open a stack of cards?

Yes, very tacky. Spread the word to close family and friends.

But can you imagine Dear Great Aunt Marjorie getting that invitation? What would she do with the embroidered pillow cases she has made for every one of her grand-neices?

People enjoy giving gifts, taking the time to think of the perfect idea, picking something out, wrapping it, and seeing the bride's face when she opens it. I am sure there are plenty of things the new couple will need, even if they are moving across country.

Denae

 

[kmp1191]

Given that they are moving across the country I don't think its tacky.

I don't see how its any different than sticking those little 'the bride and groom are registered at such and such a store' cards in the shower invitation. Every shower I have ever been invited too has has those cards included in the invitation. I never thought that was tacky. Its a bridal shower - of course I am going to show up with a gift!

in total agreement here!
why even have a shower if it's not for the gifts. you have a shower to help the future couple with setting up their home etc.... if they are moving across country, the easiest way to do it is w/ gift cards. why buy them something that they may not need/want, just to force them to take it back to get the gift card. cut out the middle step and get the gift card. tacky or not, it's easier!!

 

[tw1nsmom]

Totally tacky! As other's have said, if someone calls and asks, that's okay, but to request gift cards or money on an invitation just isn't right. If they truly can't transport the gifts, then they shouldn't have a shower, or they should request donations to a charity instead of gifts. BTW, I'm also not very fond of including registry cards in the invitations. I'd rather see something along the lines of "Please feel free to call Jane Smith 555-2525, if you have any questions", put on the invitation.

 

[poohandwendy]

I also think it is very, very tacky.

To be honest, even the move doesn't sway me. Come on, people give you things out of the goodness of their hearts and the bottom line is how easily you can transport them? If the bride and groom are moving, they make arrangements to take the stuff they have...inculding the gifts they receive. It's what you do.

And if it is such a hardship to move any possible gifts, the more appropriate thing to do would be to state, "No gifts please, your presence to celebrate our future marriage is what we want more than anything" But, of course, the bride probably doesn't want to do that.

And, to be honest, even with it stamped on the front of the card, I guarantee there would be many people who would totally ignore it anyways. People like to think their effort in picking out the perfect gift is appreciated and not inconvenience.

Totally tacky, yep.

 

[lbgraves]

This is what I told my Mom. No reason to hold a shower if the bride is just going to open cards. I told her that we might has well include a self-addressed stamped envelope with the invite and a due date for when the card should be returned. Needless to say this comment was not well received.

ITA with this! 100% TACKY!!!

The move really isn't a problem. He is apparently military since you said that he will be stationed in the East? The military will pack them up & move all their things to the new station.