A supermarket observation.

[MushyMushy]

I think it's just human nature to notice what's going on with other people around them and speculate on their lives. Where it causes a problem is when someone makes an assumption and then acts on it by giving dirty looks or making rude remarks. Not saying Dawn did this, but it happens all too often.

 

[DawnCt1]

I think it's just human nature to notice what's going on with other people around them and speculate on their lives. Where it causes a problem is when someone makes an assumption and then acts on it by giving dirty looks or making rude remarks. Not saying Dawn did this, but it happens all too often.

there is a big difference between noticing and acting on what one notices, so just to correct any false impression, i did not walk up to anyone and say, "stand up straight, put your shoulders back".

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I have, but not in a judgemental way. I think it's human nature to wonder. It's not always a bad thing.

Well, yeah. That is true. I won't deny that.

When I see three young males racing ECV's or playing bumper cars with them, I do judge. Those are people who obviusly don't need them, and are possibly using an ECV that another person who DOES need it won't be able to get.

Ditto here too.

Well, the sitting on display toilets would definitely make me take a second, and maybe even a third look. But like you said, I wouldn't judge someone sitting on a toilet, unless their drawers were around thier ankles.

That would be a different thread anyhow...

Anne

Trust me, I got lots of stares. And to be clear, my drawers remained around my waist the entire time.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

there is a big difference between noticing and acting on what one notices, so just to correct any false impression, i did not walk up to anyone and say, "stand up straight, put your shoulders back".

I'm glad.

And Mushy, you are right that noticing and wondering is one thing. The sad reality is that too many people think that they can give someone that dirty look.

When my elderly mom was visiting, she was talking about how people abuse handicap placards and how you can tell when a group of youngish people get out of car, laughing and walking towards the store. My sister and I were saying that there are lots of hidden reasons that a person could have that placard. What if they have a heart condition which makes walking long distances difficult? They don't have a right to be with their friends, laughing like anyone else can? My mother kept arguing that she knew that people like that were abusing the system and my sister and I were arguing that abuse of the system happens, but it's impossible for her to know from just looking at someone if they are the ones needing it or not. It's not always so obvious.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I think it's just human nature to notice what's going on with other people around them and speculate on their lives. Where it causes a problem is when someone makes an assumption and then acts on it by giving dirty looks or making rude remarks. Not saying Dawn did this, but it happens all too often.

Or starting threads about it on very public, very well-known message boards. I'm not talking about the majority of threads, but I think everyone knows that there have been some pretty nasty ones on here. Those are what I'm referring to.

Even in this thread, there have been lots of people who have admitted to draping themselves across their shopping carts for support.

I wonder how many of them will wonder who's watching them and judging them from now on, who'd never thought about it before? Not to say they'd care what anyone thinks... I know I wouldn't.

 

[Feralpeg]

I admit that I sometimes lean over the shopping cart, but it is normally when it is very full and heavy. If the stores would fix the wheels on the carts, it would help. Many of them don't turn corners well, especially when they are full. Sometimes, I have to pull them from the front in order to make them turn the corners. No disrespect, Dawn, but I never dreamed that anyone was actually paying attention to how I shopped. I must also look pretty silly singing. I often sing to the tunes playing while I shop. Odd?

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

When my elderly mom was visiting, she was talking about how people abuse handicap placards and how you can tell when a group of youngish people get out of car, laughing and walking towards the store. My sister and I were saying that there are lots of hidden reasons that a person could have that placard. What if they have a heart condition which makes walking long distances difficult? They don't have a right to be with their friends, laughing like anyone else can? My mother kept arguing that she knew that people like that were abusing the system and my sister and I were arguing that abuse of the system happens, but it's impossible for her to know from just looking at someone if they are the ones needing it or not. It's not always so obvious.

I had the same conversation not too long ago with my DH. A corvette pulled up and out got a very healthy looking man.

I admit, that looked sort of odd, but you just never know what's going on. Of course, DH instantly talked about mad it made him to see someone abuse the system like that.

I had the same sort of conversation with him. Of course in his line of work, he sees people abusing the health care system quite often, so what I said probably went in one ear, and out the other.

 

[Keli]

My first thought when reading this thread was the 'ample' women you see leaning over the cart are doing so because their backs are hurting them. They may or may not straighten up if they could see how they look from behind probably depending on how badly their back is hurting right then.
Having said all that I will have to admit to having never noticed this in the grocery. But then I like to shop at the speed of light and I'm too busy looking for the goods I need to purchase to notice anyone's backside, ample or not.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I admit that I sometimes lean over the shopping cart, but it is normally when it is very full and heavy. If the stores would fix the wheels on the carts, it would help. Many of them don't turn corners well, especially when they are full. Sometimes, I have to pull them from the front in order to make them turn the corners. No disrespect, Dawn, but I never dreamed that anyone was actually paying attention to how I shopped. I must also look pretty silly singing. I often sing to the tunes playing while I shop. Odd?

Sometimes I forget that I don't have one of my family members with me and I talk to myself. Now that's odd! And if that's the strangest thing that I do in my lifetime...

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Sometimes I forget that I don't have one of my family members with me and I talk to myself. Now that's odd! And if that's the strangest thing that I do in my lifetime...

Isn't it okay as long as you don't answer?

 

[DawnCt1]

Sometimes I forget that I don't have one of my family members with me and I talk to myself. Now that's odd! And if that's the strangest thing that I do in my lifetime...

i always talk to myself when i want intelligent conversation.

 

[poohandwendy]

Maybe they are tired. Maybe they have an invisible health problem that we don't know about. Maybe they were up most of the night with a sick child. Maybe they really don't like shopping and it's the only way they can motivate themselves to get through the store. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe they don't like the way I can be in a little too much of a hurry. Maybe they don't like the way my son can get whiny if he's shopping with me and doesn't get his way. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

The street goes both directions. Or the aisle goes both directions. And I'm as snarky as the next person and would maybe notice something like that (I haven't, BTW), but I'm not going to give it a second thought once I'm out of the store. And trust me, I have plenty of grocery store annoyances.

I do have sciatica pain and when it's flaring it's no fun. I don't lean on the cart, but I do like having it there for backup. It helps having it there to hold onto.

I totally agree. And maybe...just maybe...they don't care if there back side is attractive to judgemental people?

I can't imagine giving this all that much thought.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Isn't it okay as long as you don't answer?

i always talk to myself when i want intelligent conversation.

Let's not assume that I don't answer myself, I never assume that I'm getting intelligent conversation from myself and I've even been known to argue with myself.

 

[mefordis]

there is a big difference between noticing and acting on what one notices, so just to correct any false impression, i did not walk up to anyone and say, "stand up straight, put your shoulders back".

I really wish you would. I think after one or two encounters like these you would begin minding your own business pretty fast.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

When my elderly mom was visiting, she was talking about how people abuse handicap placards and how you can tell when a group of youngish people get out of car, laughing and walking towards the store. My sister and I were saying that there are lots of hidden reasons that a person could have that placard. What if they have a heart condition which makes walking long distances difficult? They don't have a right to be with their friends, laughing like anyone else can? My mother kept arguing that she knew that people like that were abusing the system and my sister and I were arguing that abuse of the system happens, but it's impossible for her to know from just looking at someone if they are the ones needing it or not. It's not always so obvious.

Ok, I will insert a thought. What if they can't walk long distances? They are walking into a large mall. You see them several times during your day, running, acting nuts, etc. What could possibly have been their disability?

I have a little issue with the "they may not be able to walk long distances" theory. There are many folks (trust me, I know people who have done this) who say the use they handicapped spaces because they can't walk long distances, yet they spend hours in Wal-Mart walking themselves to death. A few extra feet from the entrance to their car isn't going to kill them. I think that is abuse.

Even being in a wheelchair, I don't look disabled. I look like a regular Jane Doe in a customized wheelchair. I don't look like I have a thing wrong with me, my disability is pretty much a mystery. I hate using the handicapped spaces, but a lot of times I have no choice. If I cannot get my door open all the way, I cannot transfer into my wheelchair. So sometimes a handicapped parking place is the my only choice, since someone parking next to me would pretty much block me in.

ETA: I have a handicapped license plate. I just reread that and it made it sound like I use the spaces illegally.

 

[DawnCt1]

I really wish you would. I think after one or two encounters like these you would begin minding your own business pretty fast.

i do mind my own business. why would you possibly suggest hurting someone's feelings? there is a huge leap between making an observation and insulting a total stranger.

 

[poohandwendy]

I really wish you would. I think after one or two encounters like these you would begin minding your own business pretty fast.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Ok, I will insert a thought. What if they can't walk long distances? They are walking into a large mall. You see them several times during your day, running, acting nuts, etc. What could possibly have been their disability?

I have a little issue with the "they may not be able to walk long distances" theory. There are many folks (trust me, I know people who have done this) who say the use they handicapped spaces because they can't walk long distances, yet they spend hours in Wal-Mart walking themselves to death. A few extra feet from the entrance to their car isn't going to kill them. I think that is abuse.

I don't think that my mother followed them around to see where they went and how far they walked. She just simply assumed that since they looked healthy that they were. She only saw them leave their car, saw them laughing, and made the decision that they were abusing the placard. And one assumption of hers that made me really mad was her feeling that someone can't laugh and seem happy--that one really blew my mind. My point is that a valid reason for the placard is not always visible and it's not up to us to judge. No doubt there are abuses of the system.

 

[northcapemaymom]

To the OP - I have made the same observation when out and about in stores. To the critics of the OP's observation - I know that people have all sorts of reasons to use their cart has a "crutch" so to speak, but one would think that using a device with moving wheels to support themselves could exasperate their problem, or they could just plain hurt themselves if the cart lurches forward. On a side note - I wonder if this "cart drape" is an American habit? One would have to wonder if our backs all give way because we're in the supermarket buying food all the time and that's why we all can't stand up straight? Just a thought.

 

[Liberty Belle]

To the OP - I have made the same observation when out and about in stores. To the critics of the OP's observation - I know that people have all sorts of reasons to use their cart has a "crutch" so to speak, but one would think that using a device with moving wheels to support themselves could exasperate their problem, or they could just plain hurt themselves if the cart lurches forward. On a side note - I wonder if this "cart drape" is an American habit? One would have to wonder if our backs all give way because we're in the supermarket buying food all the time and that's why we all can't stand up straight? Just a thought.

I don't quite get what you're meaning. From what I've gathered Europeans shop for food more frequently than North Americans.