A slap in the face

[lisaviolet]

I went to a new Doctor (gyno) today. I'd never met her before. After the appt I glanced at the papers she gave me to take to the front desk. On it was checked "needs diet / nutrition & exercise instructions" because I am so over-weight. I weighed in at 163.9 at the office. What would she have thought of me 25lbs ago? I was heartbroken. Here I was finally thinking I looked like an average person but nope, still obese.

Congratulations on your weightloss MagicalMom.

I am not questioning the doctor's intentions. Probably good.

Do not let this sneak in at all on your accomplishments. There is no place for it. When I started university I had to have a physical. And send in the doctor's notes. He wrote morbidly or clinically obese. I suppose that came from the BMI. I was neither. I'm about 5' 10". I weighed I think, it's years ago, 182 lbs. I know that sounds a lot. But it wasn't at all. I always been a big girl. Not big boned. Huge bones. I'm laughing. I know overweight people always say that. But for me. It's very, very true. I looked fine. I was active. I could have lost ten pounds or not. I was fine. Of course, back then I always thought I was huge in comparison.

And I stared at this note and went into university thinking what you seem to be thinking. (You mentioned still not average) Don't let it affect all your wonderful accomplishments. I mean the joy of that.

An aside. The BMI seems like the most ridiculous thing on earth to me. I live with someone who looks about 125 at the most and weighs 164. Not too tall. 5' 7" An athlete who people would call lean or skinny. And I haven't punched the numbers but I would guess it would come up as overweight or obese on the BMI. With no friggin' fat!!!!!!!!

So here I am now overweight....yes. But still don't look "fat". Only meaning I can carry it. Relatively fit. And very active. (I have a whole other story on a patronizing doctor "what kind of exercise is that?") I need to lose some to feel my best. But 182 lbs is/was probably a fantastic weight for me.

Do not carry it Magical Mom. You know where you are at and how much you have done. Congratulations.

And an aside.....I know doctors are doing their job....but really most overweight people know and I would think it's a very low percentage whose doctor was the key. Unfortunately.

 

[lisaviolet]

I went to my annual exam and my Dr said - good job you have lost weight - keep it up! That was appropriate, I felt. What your dr did, was not...


Side story (not weight related). I went to a new general care practioner shortly after my brother had passed away. When I had to fill out the paperwork about family history my dr asked how my brother had died, and I teared up, understandably... Well, my next appt - my file was laying there and it said in big letters - DEPRESSED - CRIES EASILY... lol - I should have taken it as a sign... she ended up being a horrible dr and I am glad I left her practice.

WTH and OMG are coming out of my mouth. Well, worse things. That is unfriggin'believable. I'm so sorry Keggy. That is shocking.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother.

 

[agnes!]

I think this would be rude and inappropriate no matter who the people involved are. ... ... ...Since I have recently lost weight, people feel that I should share with them how much weight I have lost, what size I currently wear, and what my weight loss goal is. Depending on the situation, and the relationship I have with the person, I may answer tangentially, or not at all. You might get a cold "why do you want to know?", which is how I would respond if I felt a person were asking a question like "what is your BMI?" in a rude and adversarial manner.

Sorry that I have offended you, that was not my intent. (Congratulations on the weight loss btw.) I was trying to point out that the BMI is a somewhat arbitrary measurement and that famous athletes/actors and others who are *very* fit can easily have BMIs that seem to indicate they are overweight or out-of-shape.
Sometimes...when one is feeling upset or a post on an Internet forum strikes one a certain way, it's interesting to rehearse in your mind different scenarios of "what could be said/done" and not necessarily in Real Life charge right into the doctors office or the office manager's office to say or do every single one of those things.

Congrats to MagicalMom for all the weight-loss and for getting healthier all the time. The follow-up post about your medical records not being forwarded to the new doctor's office before that appointment makes her written comment a bit easier for me to understand.

Keggy - sorry about your brother. That must have been a hard time. I can hardly imagine.

agnes!
PS - I've seen those pics of you MagicalMom from then and now...I think you always looked nice, but NOW?...

you look MAHvelous !​