A question for parents with more than one kid

[mommaU4]

Do you have a favorite?

I know they say your not supposed to have a "favorite" kid, but I remember a girl I worked with many years ago before I had kids of my own. She had 3 kids, two boys and a girl. And she freely admitted to having a favorite, but it wasn't always the same kid.

For example when her oldest son took up an interest in baking which she loved to do, he became her favorite for awhile bacause they just spent more time together and shared common bond.

Then after awhile he lost interest and started acting too cool to hang with mom at the same time her DD became a shop-a-holic and she said her DD became her favorite because they would shop together all the time.

She explained to me that it wasn't that she loved one more than the other, but at certain times she liked one more than the other.

Now that I have 4 of my own, I can understand this a little better. I love all my kids and I don't think I show any favoritism, but there are times when I just feel closer to one or two than the others. Maybe my DD who is stubborn like her mom, will be really trying my patience and although I love her, I may not like the way she's acting and I will temporarily prefer to spend my time with another child.

Does anyone else with two or more kids ever go through this? Or feel closer to one than the other at certain times?

 

[Christine]

Yes, I do and I agree with your friend. At certain times, one is more a favorite than the other.

My son is VERY much like me in personality, so sometimes I feel I can relate to him better. He is also a bit "nicer" than my DD. But, he has his faults too. Then there are days that I am pleased by my DD's laid back attitude and outgoing demeanor and how easy she is in that way. So, I do go back and forth.

 

[Jennifer S]

I tell both my kids they are my favorite

 

[MoniqueU]

Yes all three are my favorite given my mood and their behavior at any given time. It changes on a dime LOL.

 

[Beth76]

I have a one year old and a four year old so you can imagine there are many different times of the day when one of them is my "favorite". Generally speaking, no I can't say that one of them is my favorite.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

I know exactly what you mean. I have always felt closer to my oldest mainly because it was just me and him for a while and we have been through alot together when my ex husband was in the army and always away. It doesn't mean I love him more, I just have always felt like him and me just "get" each other. He is definately like a friend to me alot of the time.
I am also very close to my daughter but in a different way. She is my little girl and I relive my childhood by watching her. I like spending time with her and sharing all the things I loved as a child with her. I like to take her shopping also.
My other son I am close to in a very different way. He is my baby even though his sister is his twin. He is autistic and is non verbal. I like to take him to theme parks and ride rollercoasters with him. He has my sense of adventure and I love that I can share things with him that the other two don't want any part of.

 

[WIcruizer]

Hey...I started this exact thread about a month ago!

 

[Cindy's Mom]

They're both my favorites.....when they're sleeping

 

[4greatboys]

My favorite is always whoever is being on their best behavior at the time. I do agree that there there are times you feel closer to one child than the others. I know for me, and probably a lot of others, that rotates around to each kid.

 

[anewvance]

Hard to answer... my 6 year old is going through a phase right now which makes it very hard to even tolerate her sometimes. My 4 1/2 year old has already been through alot in her life already and just has this "flare" about her. And my son is in a cute stage & makes going anywhere hilarious.

My sister and i will admit though, out of my grandparents 5 great grandchildren, they totally have a favorite which is my middle daughter, the 4 1/2 year old. My grandmother can never stop bragging about her to her friends and gives her anything she wants. My grandfather and her just sit there and watch cartoons together and he is always asking about her. None of us really think twice about it, it's just how it is! And none of the kids notice it at all...

 

[Brianne]

Yes, it seems like I do end up with a favorite from time to time. Even though it never shows--I make sure that it's not obvious! I love them all but depending on the situation, one can edge out the others.

 

[MBeds]

I have one daughter and i tell her that she is my favorite daughter and i have one son and i tell him he is my favorite son! THey get a kick out of that and say "mommy, you only have ONE daughter" (or son, whoever is saying it to me) and while they are saying that they are rolling their eyes and have the cutest smile...

 

[mommaU4]

Hey...I started this exact thread about a month ago!

Darn, I missed it. Well, it just goes to show great minds think alike!!

 

[rnd4life]

I don't know that I necessarily have a "favorite", I love my boys exactly the same, but for totally different reasons.

 

[akhenaten]

I don't know that I necessarily have a "favorite", I love my boys exactly the same, but for totally different reasons.

I agree..I have 3 children and would never consider one a "favorite" over the other.....

 

[ckay87]

I get what your friend was saying and I agree, but I think "favorite" is the wrong word - it really gives the wrong implications. I think it's more accurate that you "enjoy" one child more than another at certain times. And that's just normal.

I have certain things in common with one kid and certain things in common with the other.

My youngest DS, for example, is fun to shop with. Shopping with the older DS, however, is the equivalent of sawing off my arm with a butter knife. So when I'm shopping, I could say youngest DS is my "favorite" but I'd rather say I enjoy him more at that time.

 

[SeeDisney]

I wanted to start this thread too some time ago but I didn't want to start a controversary or a debate.

Yes, I too experience a "favorite" child. And it's my daughter. We mesh so well together for years now. My older son and many a time, we clash but at times, we do get along well and he's different.


Thanks for posting. I like reading other mom's posts.

 

[Microcell]

I tell both my kids they are my favorite

We can't have anymore kids because then we couln't call them our favorite little boy or our favorite little girl anymore (and it is too expensive!)!!

I like things about each of them and dislike things about each of them.

I also tell them that my favorite kid is going to get their plate first, or thier drink first, and then lay them down at their places at exactly the same time. It has turned into a game even!

 

[tiff211]

yes, I agree with other posters at times, one will be my favorite more than another. Right now, the my 3 month old is my fav. She is a little bundle of cute sweetness and such a pleasant, happy baby. When DD14 is having a good teenage day, she is my fav because we sit and talk and hang out and shop and she is like my "buddy". Besides, it was me and her against the world before I got married and had kids so I know there is a bond that I share with no other. My 3 year old has a unbelievable quirky personality and sometimes I am so drawn to her. My 5 year old is the "diva" of the bunch. Loves to dress in the latest fashion, looks like a model and is very "girly". She has long hair flowing down her back and these huge beautiful eyes and gets attention whereever she goes. I guess I will change my answer and say I have a favorite part of each one, none are really my favorite.

 

[pkasbohm]

I have 3 kids of my own and I would never say that I favor one more! I Love them all the same! I do have 2 boys and a girl so I to tend to tell my dd that she is my most favorite girl in the world, but when it comes to my boys I tell them that they are my most favorite and say their names in the world. My oldes ds asked me if i had a favorite once and I told him NO, I have 3 favorites....there is no way i could choose and no way i would want to!