DixieDreamer
Instant Human
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2001
- Messages
- 2,942
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Okay ladies and gentleman.... DIS CON is just around the corner and I think we need a bootcamp for us newbies... that will transform us from lazy DISers to ....
<center>
DIS CON COMMANDOS! </center>
Step one:
Start out easy... do what you know how to do best... DIS! Pull the itineraries, scheduled meets and prepare a basic list of where you are going to be and when from the ever useful posts of Ray Sharpton, PatinMN and so many others!
<center>
</center>
Step two:
Arrange your hotel, airfare and admission media. Do not forget to arrange or consider your transportation options to get around from the airport to WDW and to the various scheduled events. keep in mind that often the events don't end until the cows come home!
<center>
</center>
Step three:
Lastly before leaving home, be absolutely sure to obtain a silly hat to bring. Something festive and strange should do the trick!
<center>
</center>
Step four:
Alright... this is where the work really begins. ARE YOU WITH ME! {yelling in unison... SIR! YES SIR!!}
Okay... now the calesthetics to whip your sorry behinds into DIS CON shape!
Let's start out with the exercising of our wallets... Shall we?! hmm.....
Stretch your arm out ... count to three... then lower it and retrieve your wallet from your pocket... flip the wallet open retrieve a $20 dollar bill with out looking down (no cheating). Repeat this exercise for 30 straight sets.... aiming for smoothness of motion and the ability to retrieve funds without slowing down one second!
<center>
</center>
Next... let's focus on your navigation skills. Pull all the old WDW maps from your most recent trip and place them strategically upon your person. Pants and shirts with multiple pockets are highly recommended. Okay.. are you ready? Pretend someone asks you..."say, how do we get to the scheduled dessert function?"... you snap into action...
Stretch your arm to the side... count to three... then smoothly remove the EXACT park map that you need, unfold it and point to the EXACT spot without looking... (no cheating by looking). Practice this repeatedly using various scenarios until you can achieve perfect performance EVERYTIME.
<center>
</center>
Lastly... we will need to do some serious prepping for your DATW experience. You may wish to spend most of your time on this and Step 1: of this program! LOL!
Purchase a large barrel of your preferred intoxicating beverage. Lie down on the floor beneath the spigot... open the tap... and then try not to have too much of the drink splash onto the side of your face as you drink.
<center>
</center>
This is also good practice for the OLDKICKER Rose and Crown mini meet!
Finally.... you will need to do some face exercises. These are necessary to ensure you are relaxed enough to have a seriously GOOD TIME! Loosen up your face... let it get all drooopy... and then shake it real hard while doing a raspberry!
<center>
</center>
Okay. That's probably enough for today. See all you Commandos at DIS CON!!!
Now wasn't that fun?!
Okay ladies and gentleman.... DIS CON is just around the corner and I think we need a bootcamp for us newbies... that will transform us from lazy DISers to ....
<center>
DIS CON COMMANDOS! </center>
Step one:
Start out easy... do what you know how to do best... DIS! Pull the itineraries, scheduled meets and prepare a basic list of where you are going to be and when from the ever useful posts of Ray Sharpton, PatinMN and so many others!
<center>
Step two:
Arrange your hotel, airfare and admission media. Do not forget to arrange or consider your transportation options to get around from the airport to WDW and to the various scheduled events. keep in mind that often the events don't end until the cows come home!
<center>
Step three:
Lastly before leaving home, be absolutely sure to obtain a silly hat to bring. Something festive and strange should do the trick!
<center>
Step four:
Alright... this is where the work really begins. ARE YOU WITH ME! {yelling in unison... SIR! YES SIR!!}
Okay... now the calesthetics to whip your sorry behinds into DIS CON shape!
Let's start out with the exercising of our wallets... Shall we?! hmm.....
Stretch your arm out ... count to three... then lower it and retrieve your wallet from your pocket... flip the wallet open retrieve a $20 dollar bill with out looking down (no cheating). Repeat this exercise for 30 straight sets.... aiming for smoothness of motion and the ability to retrieve funds without slowing down one second!
<center>
Next... let's focus on your navigation skills. Pull all the old WDW maps from your most recent trip and place them strategically upon your person. Pants and shirts with multiple pockets are highly recommended. Okay.. are you ready? Pretend someone asks you..."say, how do we get to the scheduled dessert function?"... you snap into action...
Stretch your arm to the side... count to three... then smoothly remove the EXACT park map that you need, unfold it and point to the EXACT spot without looking... (no cheating by looking). Practice this repeatedly using various scenarios until you can achieve perfect performance EVERYTIME.
<center>
Lastly... we will need to do some serious prepping for your DATW experience. You may wish to spend most of your time on this and Step 1: of this program! LOL!
Purchase a large barrel of your preferred intoxicating beverage. Lie down on the floor beneath the spigot... open the tap... and then try not to have too much of the drink splash onto the side of your face as you drink.
<center>
This is also good practice for the OLDKICKER Rose and Crown mini meet!
Finally.... you will need to do some face exercises. These are necessary to ensure you are relaxed enough to have a seriously GOOD TIME! Loosen up your face... let it get all drooopy... and then shake it real hard while doing a raspberry!
<center>
Okay. That's probably enough for today. See all you Commandos at DIS CON!!!
Now wasn't that fun?!
