A plea to brides (not inspired by the 'wedding' threads)

[Winka]

Please, don't make me buy that polysatin dress in wine (Bill Levkoff in this case) but if you must...PLEASE don't insult my intelligence by saying that we're going to wear that dress again. I will NEVER wear that thing again and somewhere deep in your heart, once the delusional pill wears off, you KNOW it.

WE love you, we're here for you...but please don't abuse us! We're not spending over $300 for shoes and dresses of your choosing (again, ones we'll NEVER wear again) not to mention travel costs and shower and wedding gifts to be your dress-up dolls/punching bags. Or maybe that's what it's all about...

I am quickly learning a lot of 'how not to' tips from my bride lately.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

Very true.

 

[jkovick]

Winka-- Are you by chance in my sisters wedding? Change the description to "lilac nightmare of a dress" and I could have written the same paragraph!

 

[barbeml]

As many of us are marrying later in life, the abuse of bridesmaids with hideous, inappropriate or unwearable dresses is compounded. My SIL is going through this now. She is in her brother's wedding and the bridesmaid dress is so bare that two of the 40-something women have already dropped out.

When I got married 5 years ago, my gals ranged in age from 15 to 44. I picked two shades of plum, showed them examples of the colors, and told them to buy something they loved, as long as it was long and had some kind of sleeves (October wedding).

They all looked fabulous (the money they spent ranged from $50 to $110), and they were even more beautifull walking down the aisle because they were comfortable and confident.

Barbe

 

[pjlla]

I too had learned the "bridesmaid's lesson" by being in at least three weddings before I was married.... each time the dresses got more "bridesmaid-y" and more EXPENSIVE! And of course, each time required dyed-to-match shoes, petticoats, hair pieces, etc. I was bound and determined not to do that to my girls!

I went to an outlet (JC Penney) and found cotton floral dresses, street length (just below the knee), for $30 each that I loved. I bought a few of each size, brought them to the girl's houses and let them try and pick the one that fit , then returned the extras. They wore white short cotton gloves ($6/pr), their own white dress shoes and white stockings. And I borrowed jewelry from a bride/bridesmaids of a wedding I had recently been to and liked the accessories. So the total expense for each girl was $36!! Can't do much better than that!! And I didn't have to give them ugly/can't-wear-again jewelry for a "bridesmaids gift" like I have received in the past. (While I appeciated not having to pay for it, it wasn't the greatest gift I ever recieved !) ....... Anyhow, just my story...........................P

 

[Winka]

Originally posted by jkovick
Winka-- Are you by chance in my sisters wedding? Change the description to "lilac nightmare of a dress" and I could have written the same paragraph!

Barb, you really have something there...there are even dress companies out there (ariadress for example) who offer beautiful silk fabrics and have many designs that the girls can choose from.I've only heard wonderful things about them! My bride seems to want to just cross the bridal party attire off her to-do list. She has PLENTY of time to consider, we can all afford the slightly higher cost and as we are all late 20s bridesmaids, we've kind of outgrown polysatin. She and her sister, the MOH, I guess feel they don't have the time to consider it.

So, I will have to just let it (and my deposit money) go. I'm trying...I really am. Thanks for lending an ear,

 

[danacara]

I just love the style of the dress one of my old roommates picked out for us bridesmaids for her wedding next year. This morning, I learned that the cost will be about $160 and the color will be "Iced Coral", a "pink with a tinge of orange." Hmm. I am having some trouble imagining this.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

The dress I am wearing in August is strapless and the color is cornflower blue. Now, the color is really pretty, but I don't look that great in blue.

DH, DD, and I will all look good together in our wedding attire though. (He is a groomsman and DD is the flower girl. )

 

[CarolA]

I was a bridesmaid 10 times before I "retired". At 30 I announced to ALL my single friends to get over it. I would do anything else and have, but I won't buy the satin dress and dyed shoes ever again.

I have stuck to my guns. I have cut cake, watched registers, given showers etc.. NO MORE DRESSES! LOL!

 

[stinkerbelle]

I was in 2 weddings one year...both dresses came from the JC Penney outlet. I couldn't MOVE in one of them it was constricting. (yes - they were bouth $30, so I didn't complain)

however my brother made some fabulous throw pillows out of the material (one was plum, the other champagne)

oh - and please keep in mine...us white girls cannot wear champagne...we look like crap in this color.

I only had 2 girls in my wedding - told my maid of honor to pick a dress out, she did, my SIL wore it (she was 14 - she didn't have a say really). It was a black halter dress - didn't care what kind of shoes they wore, gave them a bracelet and earrings. Done.

I had many dresses that I was told I could "wear again" made into pillows by my brother for his apartment...and all the "dyed to match" shoes were tossed out my sunroof as I drove home from the wedding.

 

[missypie]

How about the bridesmaid from hell? My only sister was my only bridesmaid. She didn't have much money. The guy who designed/made my dress designed/made her dress, to her measurements, with consultation with her on the style and color. I paid for the dress and gave her money to buy shoes. I bought plane tickets for her, her boyfriend and her two kids to the wedding (held out of state). She never said thanks. All she did was complain that the dress made her hips look big (can't help there; nothing would have disguised them). She showed up just a few minutes before the ceremony, because she was busy having a little "quality time" in the hotel room (that our parents paid for) with her boy friend. At the reception she kept asking me when she could change clothes, to get out of that awful dress!

 

[aynt79]

When I got married I picked out dresses at a store in the local mall ( $40 each). Told them to wear whatever shoes they wanted and do their hair any way they wanted. I did pay for the flowergirl dress and headpiece (which was never worn - see the other post about bad wedding mishaps).

 

[Winka]

Missypie-if only brides were as considerate as you...most bridesmaids these days have no say and have to pay for the 'pleasure'.

Stinkerbelle-yes!!!!! Throw pillows!!! If only I could sew!

 

[missypie]

Now that I've vented, I do have something constructive to offer. I went to one wedding where the bride picked out the fabric for the dresses, but every bridesmaid had it made into a style that suited her.

It's not easy picking a style and a dress that will suit everyone's body and coloring...probably impossible...

 

[Jeafl]

Only once out of about 10 times being a bridesmaid, have I ever worn the dress a second time. When my sister got married we wore long black velvet skirts with gorgous white satin tops that had rhinestone buttons. I wore it again for a formal Christmas party. It was the least bridesmaid looking outfit I've even seen.

 

[noel]

I'm the matron of honor for my best friend's wedding this August.
She's almost 6 feet tall and barely a size 8 - not only is she in fantastic shape, she's also gorgeous.

Well I'm 5'3 and MANY sizes larger than she is and was scared she would pick something sleveless or strapless because all of her other attendants are thin like she is. Thankfully, she is doing the seperates thing, so we can all pick a top and skirt that we're comfortable with. The color however, is something I'm not sure about.....it's COBALT BLUE. YES, IT IS ALMOST THIS EXACT COLOR!

Not navy, not cornflower but bright "primary" blue....like Cookie Monster! I've seen the sample in person and it's SOOOO BRIGHT.

At least the dress is a nice flattering design, has a few beads on the bodice to help dress it up, but not too many and and only will cost $150.00 w/alterations.

 

[Talking Hands]

My bride's maid wore a floral full length dress that she had worn in another wedding. Since she was the only one, that was fine with me. Cost was nothing since she already had it.

 

[snoopy]

My most common request to brides, back in the days when I actually consented to being a bridesmaid:

Please do not ask me to wear a butt bow the size of Minnesota!

Yet somehow I still have several in my closet that have just that sort of bow!?!

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by noel


Not navy, not cornflower but bright "primary" blue....like Cookie Monster! I've seen the sample in person and it's SOOOO BRIGHT.

I've worn Barney Purple and Wh*re gold...but never cookie monster blue! heheheh

 

[Lanshark]

Are you telling me the Ruby Red pile of fabric at the end of my closet will never be worn again? How about the lavender one? Oops did I forget about the white one with the little purple flowers. They've only been in my closet collecting dust for 20 years. Surely I will be able to wear them somewhere. How about a DIS meet? I'll be the one in the Red Dress, Lavender shoes and carrying a purple purse. Make sure you take pictures