A Pirate looks at 30
Day 5 - Out of tragedy the 8th dwarf comes to life.
Cast:
Darren aka ktulu aka darrrrren - me, 30, and I'm a pirate, arrrrr
Jill - my wife, 26, not a pirate, but the best wife in the world!
Arrrrrrr, me wakes up not remembering any dreams. Me must not have slept well, an uneasy feelin has set in, much like the feelin ye gets when someone on the crew is about to mutiny.
Me and me wife go through the normal routine. Me steps out into the hall to steal towels and other items, and to scare the kids walking down the hall. Arrrr, me has to settle this uneasy feelin and me thinks it's time to take over the lodge. Me wife tells me to put me gun and rapier back into me suitcase and take a shower. Me takes a wiff under ye ole arm. "Blimey!" me calls out, "Me smells like a family who just arrived from a long trip in an unairconditioned car who hasn't showered in about 3 weeks!" Me thinks back to the airport and runs into the shower.
6 hours later as me is well scrubbed, we slip into appropriate swim wear, me with me wife beater, holes included, cut off jeans (speedo underneath) and me wife in her lovely bathing suit she wears to water parks. We grab our beach towels and heads to the bus stop.
Oh, we ate breakfast on the 7th floor, it has become the norm for us, arrr.
We make it to the bus stop without incident and wait. We strike up a conversation with a nice British couple, at least that is what their accent sounded like. We find that they are headed to Blizzard Beach, which is where we plan to spend time. A bus arrives, and they inquire about the status of BB, as we heard a nasty rumor that they were at capacity.
The rumor is true! Arrrrrrrrrrr, me really wants to see BB. Sadly, we change plans and decide on Typhoon Lagoon. Me has seen this before. Before me even has a chance to say it, me wife looks over and says that me is not taking over Blizzard Beach. Arrrr, me could have had a good crew with the Brits!
The bus arrives and we climb aboard. The bus driver steps out and asks me to please get off the roof and ride inside with the rest of the passengers. Arrrr, a man can't even enjoy the morning sun these days.
While making our first stop at Fort Wilderness, the call comes out, "Typhoon Lagoon is closed." Me yells out a few choice words, all of which are met with some glaring from the parents. The driver figures out that we must be headed to TL and offers this advice, "Tell them you were in transit when the call came out and they might let you in." Arrrr, good plan matey. Me puts on me best "will not take no for an answer" and we continue on.
Arrr, just a word of warning, the drivers will not let you take over the duties of helmsman just because you know a short cut through some trees that will cut the drive time in 1/2.
We arrive and me stomps toward the entrance. Me stops to ponder automated ticket machines before heading to the gate. Me stares the young man in the eye and asks, "Arrrr matey, ye be lettin me in or me keelhauls ya." He replies, "yes sir we are admitting guests." Arrr, they always back down at the sight of an angry pirate!
We walk in, and take the long way to the locker rentals. $42.50 later and we have a small locker. We cram everything in, including a small child who happened to get too close to me stuff. Me strips down to just me eye patch and speedo, me wife in her lovely bathing suit.
First order of the day, the lazy river type thing. We ease into the cool water and set out. Hmmmm...me eyes everyone around on floats. That would certainly make for a more relaxing ride! Me immediately tosses the closest people into the water and we climb aboard. Ahh...this is what a vacation is all about. Relaxing on the water while some couple yells at you. Arrr, it doesn't get any better than this. We dump over one more person so we have a place to put our cooler.
We go around about 3 times before we get tired of all the yelling and screaming directed toward us. Hey, if woman can remove their tops and tan their back, then me can remove my speedo and tan me backside! The lifeguards seem to like it, they kept whistling at me!
We climb out, me puts on me shorts before anyone gets jealous and we head over to the shark reef. Arrrr, salt water, it's like home. We get our freshly sanitized mask and snorkel. Today's word is rinse! Rinse rinse rinse. Me stands under the waterfall and cleans out the mask, snorkel and me mouth. Our turn comes and we enter into the lagoon.
Let me take the time for a minute and be serious. If you are not a strong swimmer and you're taking your child into the reef, don't. The lady in front of us with her small child FREAKED OUT before she made it to the first reef thing where they say you can sit but not stand. The lifeguard in the reef had to rescue the woman and child. The bubbles created by her thrashing blocked me view of the shark coming in to eat her kid.
Side note, while receiving our instructions, no touching anything, no drowning anyone, and put that chum away!, the life guard says "there is a reef you can sit on, but do not stand." As she is saying 'do not stand' she turns to look and sees everyone who is on the reef standing there. We all laugh (me is still laughing!) and we're allowed to enter.
After the near drowning in front of us, we slowly make our way. We wind our way across instead of going in a straight line and spend plenty of time in the lagoon. Before you try, they will not let you take a spear gun into the lagoon
At the end there is a kid sitting on the steps making it very hard for everyone to leave. Me does the right thing and me picks him up and tosses into the water. People applaud and we move on.
Me and me wife went down some of the slides, watched the wave pool and then headed back to the lazy river thingy. We didn't get any floats at first, but decided to make one more pass around before leaving. We get some floats that were on the side and me holds Jill's as she gets on. Then it happens. She jumps and accidentally kicks the rough wall ripping her toenail off on the little toe. She calmly tells me this and me goes into panic mode. Me has got to get her out of the water! If the PC patrol on the DIS heard about her bleeding into the water they'd have a fit! Luckily we are right by an exit. She limps out and we head toward first aid. We get directions from a life guard and we're on our way. Me is in full on body guard mode. Anyone who gets too close gets a glare, and if they get too close they get knocked out of the way. Me only has to do this to 7 children, 3 adults and one old lady in one of those electronic carts. Me is concerned they may not float, but me considers if someone bring it to a water park it must be amphibious.
We arrive at first aid without any serious incident, a call comes in about an electrocution but me figures it's unrelated. The nurse sprays stuff on the toe and puts band aids on it. She also gives us enough bandaids to last the rest of the trip. Jill gets her 'I visited the first aid' sticker. Really, who wants these? Me make Jill keep hers to laugh at later.
We walk out and head to the locker. Jill looks over at me and says, "I'm Gimpy, the 8th dwarf!", and history is made as a new dwarf emerges! We gather our belongings, release the child locked in earlier and head to find a place to get one of those sweet air brushed shirts that says "Gimpy, the 8th Dwarf!" Disappointed we do not find any place to get this done, we slowly make our way to the bus stop.
We arrive back to the hotel and grab snacks. Me makes me own trail mix, pretzels, assorted nuts and gummy worms. The snacks are not enough and we head to Epcot. We walk stop at Ice Station Cool, me raves about how good the Beverly is. Me then watches as people nearly vomit in disgust. Me laughs and we head to the boat. It arrives, we get on. We stand under one of the A/C vents to cool off. We laugh as a kid sitting by the door is directed by his family to keep it closed, even though it will not latch. 4 hours later we arrive in Italy and we start walking toward Japan. We do the usual lounging around in the various shops before we decide on dinner at Tempura Kiku. We get seated immediately.
This next part will be partially edited by the DIS filters. Replace the **** with the four letter word for poop and it'll spell out the word.
Wata****achi wa sushi no appetizer o tabema****a. Watashi no kanai wa ebi tempura o tabema****a. Watashi wa kiku tempura o tabema****a. Bangohan wa totemo oishikatta desu yo!
Me doesn't remember the price, but there was lots of food. We thanked our gracious hosts and headed toward the International Gateway where we used the restroom and boarded a boat to the Boardwalk.
All this time, Gimpy errr Jill is holding up really well. We look at the boardwalk and then we encounter a problem. Mickey has stopped telling jokes. We turn him off and on, no good. We go into the store and up to the counter. We pull our receipt and they try to reactivate him, no good. They tell us they will just exchange him and start pulling him out of the box. Another CM comes up and she has gotten Mickey to play games, but we want to hear corny jokes, which he is not doing. The new Mickey is working just fine and we thank them and head out. Jill does even more shopping but does not buy. We check out the Boardwalk hotel and then board a bus to DTD. The other resorts look nice, but me is not impressed with the Swan and Dolphin. It reminds me of a normal hotel.
The thought of more shopping has Gimpy energized and she is able to zip through stores at lightening speed. She wants a watch since we both left ours at home. She finds a citizen echodrive one on sale, makes the purchase and is happy to have a new watch. She is in her element, a crowded store and she is in full on shopping mode. Me starts to get a little grumpy, feet are tired and me is ready to head back to the hotel. Jill finally finishes her shopping adventure and we head back to the hotel. We talk to a nice couple staying at the lodge and we discover that he is jinxed when it comes to busses. They never arrive quick enough and all trips take at least an hour. We ponder taking a different bus, but decide to see if we can break his bad luck. The bus arrives and it does not take us very long before we're back at the lodge. We store our stuff in our room and head to the Territory Lounge where we meet Stephen, the waiter in the lounge, and he's from Richardson, Texas! Hey, finally a neighbor! We get our drink orders in, Jill asks if they have pretzels or nuts or something, but they don't. We get our drinks and relax. Jill decides she needs some sort of snack, and we can't get anything from here since everything is closing. She starts to slowly head down to Roaring Forks when Stephen arrives with a bag of pretzels he got from a vending machine. We happily munch these and finish our drinks before heading up for the night. Stephen has brought us some much needed Disney magic after todays events. Me ponders what tomorrow will bring as we fall asleep.
Next - Day 6 - As Spaceship Earth turns...these are the final days of our trip.
Day 5 - Out of tragedy the 8th dwarf comes to life.
Cast:
Darren aka ktulu aka darrrrren - me, 30, and I'm a pirate, arrrrr
Jill - my wife, 26, not a pirate, but the best wife in the world!
Arrrrrrr, me wakes up not remembering any dreams. Me must not have slept well, an uneasy feelin has set in, much like the feelin ye gets when someone on the crew is about to mutiny.
Me and me wife go through the normal routine. Me steps out into the hall to steal towels and other items, and to scare the kids walking down the hall. Arrrr, me has to settle this uneasy feelin and me thinks it's time to take over the lodge. Me wife tells me to put me gun and rapier back into me suitcase and take a shower. Me takes a wiff under ye ole arm. "Blimey!" me calls out, "Me smells like a family who just arrived from a long trip in an unairconditioned car who hasn't showered in about 3 weeks!" Me thinks back to the airport and runs into the shower.
6 hours later as me is well scrubbed, we slip into appropriate swim wear, me with me wife beater, holes included, cut off jeans (speedo underneath) and me wife in her lovely bathing suit she wears to water parks. We grab our beach towels and heads to the bus stop.
Oh, we ate breakfast on the 7th floor, it has become the norm for us, arrr.
We make it to the bus stop without incident and wait. We strike up a conversation with a nice British couple, at least that is what their accent sounded like. We find that they are headed to Blizzard Beach, which is where we plan to spend time. A bus arrives, and they inquire about the status of BB, as we heard a nasty rumor that they were at capacity.
The rumor is true! Arrrrrrrrrrr, me really wants to see BB. Sadly, we change plans and decide on Typhoon Lagoon. Me has seen this before. Before me even has a chance to say it, me wife looks over and says that me is not taking over Blizzard Beach. Arrrr, me could have had a good crew with the Brits!
The bus arrives and we climb aboard. The bus driver steps out and asks me to please get off the roof and ride inside with the rest of the passengers. Arrrr, a man can't even enjoy the morning sun these days.
While making our first stop at Fort Wilderness, the call comes out, "Typhoon Lagoon is closed." Me yells out a few choice words, all of which are met with some glaring from the parents. The driver figures out that we must be headed to TL and offers this advice, "Tell them you were in transit when the call came out and they might let you in." Arrrr, good plan matey. Me puts on me best "will not take no for an answer" and we continue on.
Arrr, just a word of warning, the drivers will not let you take over the duties of helmsman just because you know a short cut through some trees that will cut the drive time in 1/2.
We arrive and me stomps toward the entrance. Me stops to ponder automated ticket machines before heading to the gate. Me stares the young man in the eye and asks, "Arrrr matey, ye be lettin me in or me keelhauls ya." He replies, "yes sir we are admitting guests." Arrr, they always back down at the sight of an angry pirate!
We walk in, and take the long way to the locker rentals. $42.50 later and we have a small locker. We cram everything in, including a small child who happened to get too close to me stuff. Me strips down to just me eye patch and speedo, me wife in her lovely bathing suit.
First order of the day, the lazy river type thing. We ease into the cool water and set out. Hmmmm...me eyes everyone around on floats. That would certainly make for a more relaxing ride! Me immediately tosses the closest people into the water and we climb aboard. Ahh...this is what a vacation is all about. Relaxing on the water while some couple yells at you. Arrr, it doesn't get any better than this. We dump over one more person so we have a place to put our cooler.
We go around about 3 times before we get tired of all the yelling and screaming directed toward us. Hey, if woman can remove their tops and tan their back, then me can remove my speedo and tan me backside! The lifeguards seem to like it, they kept whistling at me!
We climb out, me puts on me shorts before anyone gets jealous and we head over to the shark reef. Arrrr, salt water, it's like home. We get our freshly sanitized mask and snorkel. Today's word is rinse! Rinse rinse rinse. Me stands under the waterfall and cleans out the mask, snorkel and me mouth. Our turn comes and we enter into the lagoon.
Let me take the time for a minute and be serious. If you are not a strong swimmer and you're taking your child into the reef, don't. The lady in front of us with her small child FREAKED OUT before she made it to the first reef thing where they say you can sit but not stand. The lifeguard in the reef had to rescue the woman and child. The bubbles created by her thrashing blocked me view of the shark coming in to eat her kid.
Side note, while receiving our instructions, no touching anything, no drowning anyone, and put that chum away!, the life guard says "there is a reef you can sit on, but do not stand." As she is saying 'do not stand' she turns to look and sees everyone who is on the reef standing there. We all laugh (me is still laughing!) and we're allowed to enter.
After the near drowning in front of us, we slowly make our way. We wind our way across instead of going in a straight line and spend plenty of time in the lagoon. Before you try, they will not let you take a spear gun into the lagoon
At the end there is a kid sitting on the steps making it very hard for everyone to leave. Me does the right thing and me picks him up and tosses into the water. People applaud and we move on.
Me and me wife went down some of the slides, watched the wave pool and then headed back to the lazy river thingy. We didn't get any floats at first, but decided to make one more pass around before leaving. We get some floats that were on the side and me holds Jill's as she gets on. Then it happens. She jumps and accidentally kicks the rough wall ripping her toenail off on the little toe. She calmly tells me this and me goes into panic mode. Me has got to get her out of the water! If the PC patrol on the DIS heard about her bleeding into the water they'd have a fit! Luckily we are right by an exit. She limps out and we head toward first aid. We get directions from a life guard and we're on our way. Me is in full on body guard mode. Anyone who gets too close gets a glare, and if they get too close they get knocked out of the way. Me only has to do this to 7 children, 3 adults and one old lady in one of those electronic carts. Me is concerned they may not float, but me considers if someone bring it to a water park it must be amphibious.
We arrive at first aid without any serious incident, a call comes in about an electrocution but me figures it's unrelated. The nurse sprays stuff on the toe and puts band aids on it. She also gives us enough bandaids to last the rest of the trip. Jill gets her 'I visited the first aid' sticker. Really, who wants these? Me make Jill keep hers to laugh at later.
We walk out and head to the locker. Jill looks over at me and says, "I'm Gimpy, the 8th dwarf!", and history is made as a new dwarf emerges! We gather our belongings, release the child locked in earlier and head to find a place to get one of those sweet air brushed shirts that says "Gimpy, the 8th Dwarf!" Disappointed we do not find any place to get this done, we slowly make our way to the bus stop.
We arrive back to the hotel and grab snacks. Me makes me own trail mix, pretzels, assorted nuts and gummy worms. The snacks are not enough and we head to Epcot. We walk stop at Ice Station Cool, me raves about how good the Beverly is. Me then watches as people nearly vomit in disgust. Me laughs and we head to the boat. It arrives, we get on. We stand under one of the A/C vents to cool off. We laugh as a kid sitting by the door is directed by his family to keep it closed, even though it will not latch. 4 hours later we arrive in Italy and we start walking toward Japan. We do the usual lounging around in the various shops before we decide on dinner at Tempura Kiku. We get seated immediately.
This next part will be partially edited by the DIS filters. Replace the **** with the four letter word for poop and it'll spell out the word.
Wata****achi wa sushi no appetizer o tabema****a. Watashi no kanai wa ebi tempura o tabema****a. Watashi wa kiku tempura o tabema****a. Bangohan wa totemo oishikatta desu yo!
Me doesn't remember the price, but there was lots of food. We thanked our gracious hosts and headed toward the International Gateway where we used the restroom and boarded a boat to the Boardwalk.
All this time, Gimpy errr Jill is holding up really well. We look at the boardwalk and then we encounter a problem. Mickey has stopped telling jokes. We turn him off and on, no good. We go into the store and up to the counter. We pull our receipt and they try to reactivate him, no good. They tell us they will just exchange him and start pulling him out of the box. Another CM comes up and she has gotten Mickey to play games, but we want to hear corny jokes, which he is not doing. The new Mickey is working just fine and we thank them and head out. Jill does even more shopping but does not buy. We check out the Boardwalk hotel and then board a bus to DTD. The other resorts look nice, but me is not impressed with the Swan and Dolphin. It reminds me of a normal hotel.
The thought of more shopping has Gimpy energized and she is able to zip through stores at lightening speed. She wants a watch since we both left ours at home. She finds a citizen echodrive one on sale, makes the purchase and is happy to have a new watch. She is in her element, a crowded store and she is in full on shopping mode. Me starts to get a little grumpy, feet are tired and me is ready to head back to the hotel. Jill finally finishes her shopping adventure and we head back to the hotel. We talk to a nice couple staying at the lodge and we discover that he is jinxed when it comes to busses. They never arrive quick enough and all trips take at least an hour. We ponder taking a different bus, but decide to see if we can break his bad luck. The bus arrives and it does not take us very long before we're back at the lodge. We store our stuff in our room and head to the Territory Lounge where we meet Stephen, the waiter in the lounge, and he's from Richardson, Texas! Hey, finally a neighbor! We get our drink orders in, Jill asks if they have pretzels or nuts or something, but they don't. We get our drinks and relax. Jill decides she needs some sort of snack, and we can't get anything from here since everything is closing. She starts to slowly head down to Roaring Forks when Stephen arrives with a bag of pretzels he got from a vending machine. We happily munch these and finish our drinks before heading up for the night. Stephen has brought us some much needed Disney magic after todays events. Me ponders what tomorrow will bring as we fall asleep.
Next - Day 6 - As Spaceship Earth turns...these are the final days of our trip.
Hope the 8th dwarf is having a full recovery.
Great trip report - can't wait to read the next installment; Arrrrrrrrrr!
