a note to servers

[TDC Nala]

Doesn't sound like this is a "we card everybody" situation as they did not card the OP's husband and the server actually said that servers, apparently at the direction of management, intended to flatter some older customers by asking for their IDs. I get "we card everybody" (it's probably much easier than leaving it up to servers or employees to determine who to ask for ID) but that flattering stuff doesn't make any sense.

 

[kirstenb1]

I must be like Old Testament ancient,because I haven't been carded in years. Not at WDW, Busch Gardens, local restaurants or the ABC store.

 

[NMAmy]

FWIW, It wasn't a bar, it was a resturant and it isn't policy because DH ordered a beer first and didn't get carded. It was when I ordered my margareta that she asked to see ID. DH said he would get his out too, and that was when she said they were told older people are flattered when they are asked for ID and she said she didn't need his.

A lot of people seem to be missing this part of the story. It's obviously not a requirement to card everyone since the OP's DH was not required to show ID. Asking an older person just to try to flatter them is pretty condescending. Like when someone calls an elderly woman "young lady" in that weirdly joking style. I just don't get that personally.

I get carded alot even though I'm 46. It's no biggie to me. But if someone told me they were doing it in an attempt to insincerely flatter me, I'd be less than thrilled.

I used to work in a liquor store. I totally get carding everyone in an attempt to cover one's behind. It doesn't seem to be the case here.

why would a church fundraiser be selling alcohol?

Not all churches are anti-alcohol.

 

[kirstenb1]

why would a church fundraiser be selling alcohol?

There's a local Greek Orthodox church that does an annual 3 day festival as a fundraiser. They sell food, beer and wine. Most of Richmond shows up at least one of the days.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

some places will get their liquor license taken away if someone finds out they don't card EVERYONE.

i don't mind getting carded for alcohol, but i used to still get carded for movies until i was 21! the guy actually yelled at me and said "THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GETTING INTO THIS MOVIE! YOU LOOK MAYBE 16" and i was 21 at the time and i pulled my license out and told him "you're about 5 years off, buddy" but that was the only time i didn't appreciate getting carded.

i'm just used to pulling out my id anytime i order/buy alcohol

 

[disykat]

I was just venting because she only carded me and she said it was because she was told older people are flattered when they are carded. My whole point wasn't to make a scene or make her job harder, I was only pointing out that many times older folks especially when they are clearly older than 40 don't always see it as a compliment.

I'll repeat it again for you. Not that people are listening. They're going to continue to argue that you were being jerky and refusing to show it.

I'll also agree again, carding is fine. Trying to "flatter someone" by asking for it is ridiculous.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

why would a church fundraiser be selling alcohol?

are you serious?? catholic churches serve wine during the service!

not to mention they're also against "gambling" but where do you usually go to play bingo?? a church.....

 

[disykat]

A lot of people seem to be missing this part of the story. It's obviously not a requirement to card everyone since the OP's DH was not required to show ID. Asking an older person just to try to flatter them is pretty condescending. Like when someone calls an elderly woman "young lady" in that weirdly joking style. I just don't get that personally.

I get carded alot even though I'm 46. It's no biggie to me. But if someone told me they were doing it in an attempt to insincerely flatter me, I'd be less than thrilled.

I used to work in a liquor store. I totally get carding everyone in an attempt to cover one's behind. It doesn't seem to be the case here.

.

Someone else gets it!

 

[disykat]

Doesn't sound like this is a "we card everybody" situation as they did not card the OP's husband and the server actually said that servers, apparently at the direction of management, intended to flatter some older customers by asking for their IDs. I get "we card everybody" (it's probably much easier than leaving it up to servers or employees to determine who to ask for ID) but that flattering stuff doesn't make any sense.

Just trying to see if repeating this enough times will get the conversation turned or not.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Just trying to see if repeating this enough times will get the conversation turned or not.

it's not going to. it's just going to irritate people and make matters worse. but if you insist.....

 

[eliza61]

I would like to take this opportunity to once again climb up on my soap box and express my disdain for the way rule following has become such a stupid, totally lacking in common sense, exercise.


You know what is funny, in a way? When I was 17 the drinking age was 21 and I routinely went to bars and purchased drinks and never once was I carded. Hmmm! Maybe I'm getting younger looking as I age. Hey, it could happen!

Unfortunately most of the times when rules are carried out to the extreme is usually some one has sued and won boat loads of money. Case in point, in my township a local store was sued by a teenagers parents because he tried to buy cigerettes with a phoney id and the store manager called the cops. Parents sued the store and the police dept saying little Johnny was caused "undue embarrassement".
Now most stores will ask forms of id, a drivers license and a cc card. reason being it may be a little harder for students to get ahold of 2 phoney pieces of id.

Being carded when ordering alcohol is a minor inconvienence, would not find it annoying at all.

 

[dislaney]

Carding everyone -fine. Carding with the intent to flatter - not so fine! I would not be flattered at all either!

 

[SandrA9810]

i agree with the OP... Totally rude.

i've felt bad when i've gotten some one's age wrong. I did it a few times working at disney, i'd say "mom" when it was a grandmother, eventually my come back was, well you are mom to some one. I bit myself in the butt one time with calling an older sister mom. It's was a long line with mickey and i really wasn't paying attention to who was going up. That jolted me out of my daze and every one had a good laugh.
Did the same thing working at gamestop and M rated games. Wasn't paying attention to who my customer was, and asked for an ID from a 40-50 yr old guy. Cause it gives you the prompt "is customer of age?" so i just automatically asked "are you over 18?" He got a good laugh from it too.

I look like 16-18 and half the time i don't get carded. And i'm 26 now...

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i agree with the OP... Totally rude.

i've felt bad when i've gotten some one's age wrong. I did it a few times working at disney, i'd say "mom" when it was a grandmother, eventually my come back was, well you are mom to some one. I bit myself in the butt one time with calling an older sister mom. It's was a long line with mickey and i really wasn't paying attention to who was going up. That jolted me out of my daze and every one had a good laugh.
Did the same thing working at gamestop and M rated games. Wasn't paying attention to who my customer was, and asked for an ID from a 40-50 yr old guy. Cause it gives you the prompt "is customer of age?" so i just automatically asked "are you over 18?" He got a good laugh from it too.

I look like 16-18 and half the time i don't get carded. And i'm 26 now...

someone mistook my sister for my mother once, it was actually pretty amusing.

 

[RitaE]

Get used to it if you live in Indiana. They just passed a new identification law which requires 100% ID for grocery stores etc -- takes effect July 1st. It doesn't seem to apply to on-premises consumption but many restaurants and bars are pledging to follow it regardless.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Carding everyone -fine. Carding with the intent to flatter - not so fine! I would not be flattered at all either!

I'm thinking I would have complained.

As a sidenote--I prefer the "when in doubt, then card" approach to serving/selling alcohol. Better to err on the side of caution than to face termination/arrest b/c you used "common sense" and presumed the customer was old enough.

If folks thought I lacked common sense when I carded folks before ringing their beer or wine in a grocery store--than so be it. I stink at guessing ages (still do!) and to me, if I am not 100% sure--then it would have been stupid not to card.

Clearly that is not the case with the OP--I never carded someone to "flatter" them. The exercise is not for that purpose.

 

[arminnie]

I bought some beer the other day. When they asked for ID I not only had to show it, they had to swipe it before the transaction would go through.

I was kind of surprised, but actually it does make sense for off-site consumption. A certain amount of alcohol is going to end up in the hands of minors. But the store can prove that they SOLD it to a person of age.

It also prevents the clerk from ringing up a sale for a friend that is underage. Believe me I've been around for decades and sure remember all the tricks we used.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Get used to it if you live in Indiana. They just passed a new identification law which requires 100% ID for grocery stores etc -- takes effect July 1st. It doesn't seem to apply to on-premises consumption but many restaurants and bars are pledging to follow it regardless.

I wish it was like that everywhere. It's annoying carding someone when I am following company rules and they're rude to me/complain/make an annoyed comment or face. Then when they say they don't have their ID on them and I can't give them alcohol, of course... it's my fault.

This would eliminate the problem.

 

[portocall]

It annoys me too OP. I know that they are just doing their job, but I don't look 21 or younger at all. I don't give anyone a hard time over it, but I don't like it. I do get the why though.

When I was 18 I was served beer in Miami. A coworker in her 40's ordered a pitcher and they brought me a glass. Since at the time I was legal to drink most of the time I didn't think about it until after we left. (I worked on a cruise ship with a legal age of 18 at the time)

But the worst was having friends over from Europe. Their drivers licences don't have pictures, and the date is done differently. The waitress refused to serve her because it said 12-1-year and it was November. Her birthday was Jan 12 and she was 21 but it appeared she wouldn't be 21 until Dec 1st. She was peeved probably because she was able to have a drink starting at 16.

I can't say that I wouldn't card everyone if it were my job, mostly because I wouldn't want to have someone not of age to buy alcohol, but it doesn't mean I like fishing out my license everytime either.

 

[handinpocket]

If you are of age and have ID, show it without attitude. We are asked to show ID for credit card purchases and don't show our hind ends then, well, most of us don't.