a note to servers

[LuvCuteBoys]

If it were me, I would card anyone who I was serving alcohol to. When I worked at Rite Aid, I would do it when people bought beer. I'd rather deal with an irritated customer than getting in trouble for selling/serving alcohol to someone under age.

It's just not worth it to me.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

It was the fact that she told me the reason they did it was because older people found it flattering. Maybe if I was in my 30's or 40's I would find it flattering, but in my 50's I don't really find it flattering to be carded.

I don't mind being asked if I qualify for the senior discount because I DO look like at senior!

I also understand carding everyone, but again, her reason was older people find it flattering, my point was not everyone is flattered

I don't think her REASON for carding you was to flatter you. Her REASON for carding you was because she was doing her job. She was trying to make an awkward situation easier.

I would like to take this opportunity to once again climb up on my soap box and express my disdain for the way rule following has become such a stupid, totally lacking in common sense, exercise.

We only have two types of people now...those that follow rules in such an excruciating fashion as to be completely rigid and anal and those that will never follow any rules. There is no middle of the road, no room for using brains and judgment.

I have been asked my birth date to purchase things that are legal for anyone over 21. I am 62 years old. I qualify! Once when I just said 1948..you pick the month and day, they all fit, the cashier got downright angry with me and insisted that I give the complete date. I, of course, gave her an incorrect one but it seemed to make her happy. I am running out of time on this planet but I do so hope that something can happen that will bring this nation (if not the world) into the realm of reality and stop the childish behavior before I make the big trip. I'll probably get carded there also.

You know what is funny, in a way? When I was 17 the drinking age was 21 and I routinely went to bars and purchased drinks and never once was I carded. Hmmm! Maybe I'm getting younger looking as I age. Hey, it could happen!

Trying to keep your job is not childish behavior. You were the one being childish by not giving your information.

And, well, it's because of 17 years old who try to buy alcohol that establishments have started carding everyone. The poor person trying to make a living or pay for college or whatever is just doing their job. The 17 year old is just trying to do something wrong.

How you can complain when you admit that you were part of the problem is beyond me.

 

[paintnolish]

I wouldn't be annoyed. She is probably just doing her job. Some places, like PPs have said, want you to card everyone. Or, maybe she was new and wasn't comfortable making the judgement yet. I've been serving for a few years, so I think I am okay at deciding who to card. Basically, if there is ANY doubt in my mind (if they look under 30), I card. Better safe than sorry!

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

It was the fact that she told me the reason they did it was because older people found it flattering. Maybe if I was in my 30's or 40's I would find it flattering, but in my 50's I don't really find it flattering to be carded.

I don't mind being asked if I qualify for the senior discount because I DO look like at senior!

I also understand carding everyone, but again, her reason was older people find it flattering, my point was not everyone is flattered

That probably wasn't the real reason she asked but just said that anyway.

 

[FayeW]

If it were me, I would card anyone who I was serving alcohol to. When I worked at Rite Aid, I would do it when people bought beer. I'd rather deal with an irritated customer than getting in trouble for selling/serving alcohol to someone under age.

It's just not worth it to me.

You would seriously ask an white haired, clearly middle aged (or more) individual for ID?

This is just as ridiculous as the "zero tolerance" policy in schools. How about people just use common sense and good judgement for a change instead.

 

[goofyernmost]

Trying to keep your job is not childish behavior. You were the one being childish by not giving your information.

And, well, it's because of 17 years old who try to buy alcohol that establishments have started carding everyone. The poor person trying to make a living or pay for college or whatever is just doing their job. The 17 year old is just trying to do something wrong.

How you can complain when you admit that you were part of the problem is beyond me.

Wow...I guess you told me. Let me explain...I am not faulting the people that have to ask, I am faulting the system that requires, no, insists that use of common sense is not to be done. It's not the servers being childish it is the rules that are childish.

I am all in favor of carding people that are younger or even questionable because that is the law. But, and this is big, if a fellow human being is capable of mistaking a 62 year old for a 18 or 21 year old. I think that there might be a vision problem involved there. I want them to be allowed to use common sense. The laws still apply, if you sell or serve an under aged person the laws are needed to be strict. Myself, and others, are saying you should not be required to ask someone that is obviously past that age.

What I'm guessing really has happened is the laws got stiffer for the people serving the alcohol as they can get sued personally if the person climbs into a car and kills someone or if you DO serve someone 20 years, 11 months old, etc... I'm not 100% sure but there may also be jail time, etc...

Quite true...and it is a good thing that it has become more stringent. I am not commenting on that part. I am commenting on how we have skipped the middle once again because some out of touch civil servant decided that the only way to cover their own butts was to blanket control. Not just the few that are actually in a position to be breaking the law, but everyone regardless of obvious indicators that that particular law is not being tested. And we, like the good little lambs we are, just fell into line and say OK, it doesn't matter how inconvenient it is for me or how foolish it is lets just follow along.

You know at one point in time it was required that any suspected witch be burned at the stake. Not every law is for the betterment of mankind. In Vermont we also have a law in the books that states that it is illegal to whistle under water. I, for one, am now motivated to insist that this law be enforced to the highest degree possible.

 

[Nancy]

I would like to take this opportunity to once again climb up on my soap box and express my disdain for the way rule following has become such a stupid, totally lacking in common sense, exercise.

We only have two types of people now...those that follow rules in such an excruciating fashion as to be completely rigid and anal and those that will never follow any rules. There is no middle of the road, no room for using brains and judgment.

I have been asked my birth date to purchase things that are legal for anyone over 21. I am 62 years old. I qualify! Once when I just said 1948..you pick the month and day, they all fit, the cashier got downright angry with me and insisted that I give the complete date. I, of course, gave her an incorrect one but it seemed to make her happy. I am running out of time on this planet but I do so hope that something can happen that will bring this nation (if not the world) into the realm of reality and stop the childish behavior before I make the big trip. I'll probably get carded there also.

You know what is funny, in a way? When I was 17 the drinking age was 21 and I routinely went to bars and purchased drinks and never once was I carded. Hmmm! Maybe I'm getting younger looking as I age. Hey, it could happen!

I get what you are saying but in the cashiers case she really had no choice. When you work for someone you either follow the rules 100 % or you get fired.

The store I used to work in would not let an alcohol sale go through unless a birth date was entered, the registers would block it. We were not even allowed to ask the date, we HAD to see the ID. years ago all the cashiers had the ability to enter a fake date but they took that away. We had to ID everyone and if they were doing a check at your register and you didn't ask....yep..you got fired. Unfortunately I think the whole underage drinking thing is what caused the rules to get so tough...because underage kids were buying and drinking, get in a car wreck and parents sue the store/bar for selling to minors. Now I did the same thing at 17...got into bars with no trouble....but since I worked in the store (and taught the NY State alcohol and tobacco training class) I know what the ramifications can be.

 

[OrlandoMike]

This is just as ridiculous as the "zero tolerance" policy in schools. How about people just use common sense and good judgement for a change instead.

Many restaurants require servers to card everyone. How hard is it to get out your ID?

I've been out with my 90 year old grandfather when he has been carded......

This person was just doing their job.......

 

[FayeW]

Many restaurants require servers to card everyone. How hard is it to get out your ID?

I've been out with my 90 year old grandfather when he has been carded......

This person was just doing their job.......

I don't care what they require. It is ridiculous that they have a blanket policy that requires them to ask obviously middle aged or elderly people for ID when they order a drink.

Once my husband and I were staying in a hotel and went to the bar to order a drink. I left my wallet in the room. I was carded, but chose not to return to my room and get my ID. I chose not to have a drink so the server lost a sale and of course, the accompanying tip.

 

[goofyernmost]

I don't care what they require. It is ridiculous that they have a blanket policy that requires them to ask obviously middle aged or elderly people for ID when they order a drink.

Once my husband and I were staying in a hotel and went to the bar to order a drink. I left my wallet in the room. I was carded, but chose not to return to my room and get my ID. I chose not to have a drink so the server lost a sale and of course, the accompanying tip.

This is exactly the example I am speaking about. A totally and unfortunate loss to a "server" because of a foolishly juvenile law. You have, and I know that many will speak up against this, every right in this country to exercise your right to not be treated like a child. Sadly, that means that someone has to suffer for it. That may be the server and that also includes the establishment they work for, but, your voice, no matter how small, should be heard. If this happens enough things will change, if not we can look forward to more and more unnecessary personal controls on our lives.

 

[disykat]

It was the fact that she told me the reason they did it was because older people found it flattering. Maybe if I was in my 30's or 40's I would find it flattering, but in my 50's I don't really find it flattering to be carded.

I don't mind being asked if I qualify for the senior discount because I DO look like at senior!

I also understand carding everyone, but again, her reason was older people find it flattering, my point was not everyone is flattered

I'm with you OP. I have no problem with being carded, especially if they card everyone. But being told they did it because "older people find it flattering" would be seriously annoying. Obvious pandering for tips annoys me.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

There are no if's, and's or but's where i come from, they card everyone. It's a matter of taking out your ID.
I would never get mad at someone for doing their job. If you have your pocketbook or wallet next to you, you don't even have to get out of your seat. I don't see what the big deal is.

 

[kafitty]

guess what...it's annoying for us too. It's just ONE MORE THING i have to do when i'm already doing 8,000 other things. i really don't have the time for you to sigh, roll your eyes at me, and then dig through your purse to give me your identification. But i also don't have a choice.

it's the law that you HAVE to have identification on you in order to be served alcohol. You could be 100 years old: if you don't have an ID on you, i can't serve you.

it has nothing to do with whether or not we want to "flatter" you - it's our job. AND, we could LOSE that job if we do not comply.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Once my husband and I were staying in a hotel and went to the bar to order a drink. I left my wallet in the room. I was carded, but chose not to return to my room and get my ID. I chose not to have a drink so the server lost a sale and of course, the accompanying tip.

Missing out on a sale and tip is no big deal. Not having a job because you refused to follow company policy is a big deal.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

Not carding everyone who orders a drink can be grounds for termination at certain restaurants. Especially with the summer season approaching, undercover cops are out in swarms attempting to catch restaurants and bars not checking IDs and serving to minors.

 

[Hillbeans]

Not everyone is flattered when they are carded.

Last night DH and I went out to dinner. I ordered a drink and the waitress asked to see my ID, I asked her if she would also like to see my AARP card while I had my wallet out. I was nice about it and said it in a joking way, but I was still a little miffed that I had to drag through my purse at the table to find it.

I am asked many times if I qualify for the senior discount and with my white hair, there is NO CHANCE I am anywhere close to being 21. In fact I am often mistaken for my DDs grandmother!

She said they were told people are flattered when they are asked when they are obviously not close to 21.

Like I said, I wasn't flattered, just annoyed.

I agree with you, and i'm "only" 39. I hate being carded and find it to be a huge annoyance - there is no way I look 20, or 30 either. I understand the reason they do this, if they have to proof everyone, but it's annoying. I don't always have my DL on me as I would rather not lug around my purse everywhere I go.

A couple in their 70's was carded at Wegmans in front of me the other day. I mean, really.....

 

[kaytieeldr]

While we live in a college town, its a dry christian college so drinking isn't an issue like it is where my DS goes to college.

Like I said, I am in my 50's with white hair and am often mistaken for my DDs grandmother, and am often offered the senior discount so there is no way I would even be mistaken for someone in their 30's.

To be honest, I found it more condescending than flattering.

Last time I went too long between touchups, one of my coworkers thought I'd dyed my hair blonde - and that was in bright, normal office lighting during the day. It's not entirely unexpected that someone - especially someone young - would mistake white hair for platinum blond in typical restaurant lighting. While the 'people find it flattering' comment annoyed you, I'd just let it go.

I have been asked my birth date to purchase things that are legal for anyone over 21. I am 62 years old. I qualify! Once when I just said 1948..you pick the month and day, they all fit, the cashier got downright angry with me and insisted that I give the complete date. I, of course, gave her an incorrect one but it seemed to make her happy.

She didn't make the rules, she's just trying to follow them as directed by management. Your typical cashier is making minimum wage or close to it. If you don't like the rules, TALK TO THE MANAGER. Please don't hassle the cashier.

You know what is funny, in a way? When I was 17 the drinking age was 21 and I routinely went to bars and purchased drinks and never once was I carded.

The drinking age was 18 here for a number of years, and five of the six of us 'kids' were old enough to drink. My parents took everyone out to eat one night; the waitress was going around the table taking drink orders. The eighteen year olds had to show ID, then my dad ordered, then my brother said, "I'll have the same thing" (disgusting drink, but that's another story ). Well, the waitress came back a few minutes later with a question about this bearded brother's drink, which was a good thing - because he was only fourteen! Hadn't asked him for an ID, since he looked older than at least three of his siblings.

 

[Carly_Roach]

You would seriously ask an white haired, clearly middle aged (or more) individual for ID?

This is just as ridiculous as the "zero tolerance" policy in schools. How about people just use common sense and good judgement for a change instead.

For two reasons:

1. Common sense in this country just isn't common anymore.
2. Neither is good judgment.

I don't care what they require. It is ridiculous that they have a blanket policy that requires them to ask obviously middle aged or elderly people for ID when they order a drink.

Once my husband and I were staying in a hotel and went to the bar to order a drink. I left my wallet in the room. I was carded, but chose not to return to my room and get my ID. I chose not to have a drink so the server lost a sale and of course, the accompanying tip.

Then don't patronize those establishments. One of two things will happen:

1. The establishment will lose enough business that they'll change their practices when it comes to carding people for buying alcoholic beverages
2. Nothing will happen. Only the people who are picky about this practice will leave and never return which is a win-win for everyone involved.

This is exactly the example I am speaking about. A totally and unfortunate loss to a "server" because of a foolishly juvenile law. You have, and I know that many will speak up against this, every right in this country to exercise your right to not be treated like a child. Sadly, that means that someone has to suffer for it. That may be the server and that also includes the establishment they work for, but, your voice, no matter how small, should be heard. If this happens enough things will change, if not we can look forward to more and more unnecessary personal controls on our lives.

Missing out on a sale and tip is no big deal. Not having a job because you refused to follow company policy is a big deal.

My thought exactly, Disneyjunkie.

These are the times we live in people. We decided years ago that, as a country, we were going to police the lives of everyone "for their own good". We set up seat-belt laws and smoke alarm regulations for private homes. We call CPS when we see a mother or father yelling at their kid. We tack the oft-repeated phrase, "If only one life is saved then....." to whatever legislation we happened to be in favor of, regardless of the fact that it will limit millions of law-abiding citizen's freedoms (the 30-pill limit to pseudoephedrine is one example).

And we complain when someone else does the same thing to us that we did to them. We feel that our proposed freedom limits for others is right, but their proposed freedom limits for us is wrong.

Moral of the story: if it bothers you to be carded when you drink, regardless of your age, then don't drink. Stop taking it out on the servers; they're not responsible for making the laws, just enforcing them.

 

[Took]

For two reasons:

1. Common sense in this country just isn't common anymore.
2. Neither is good judgment.

Then don't patronize those establishments. One of two things will happen:

1. The establishment will lose enough business that they'll change their practices when it comes to carding people for buying alcoholic beverages
2. Nothing will happen. Only the people who are picky about this practice will leave and never return which is a win-win for everyone involved.

My thought exactly, Disneyjunkie.

These are the times we live in people. We decided years ago that, as a country, we were going to police the lives of everyone "for their own good". We set up seat-belt laws and smoke alarm regulations for private homes. We call CPS when we see a mother or father yelling at their kid. We tack the oft-repeated phrase, "If only one life is saved then....." to whatever legislation we happened to be in favor of, regardless of the fact that it will limit millions of law-abiding citizen's freedoms (the 30-pill limit to pseudoephedrine is one example).

And we complain when someone else does the same thing to us that we did to them. We feel that our proposed freedom limits for others is right, but their proposed freedom limits for us is wrong.

Moral of the story: if it bothers you to be carded when you drink, regardless of your age, then don't drink. Stop taking it out on the servers; they're not responsible for making the laws, just enforcing them.

ACtually, like many situations in this country, what's driving the "carding craze" is not "the law" per se but lawsuits. THOSE are what make companies so jittery and which have wiped out common sense in the last few decades. The "blame the company" for an individual's stupidity or attempt to evade the law (17 year olds trying ot buy drinks) is the problem. If we'd drop that mentality, we could get back to consumers who are pushed to use a bit of common sense (or suffer) themselves.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Just like you need to show ID when boarding an airplane and you know to have it out when going through the security check, is it REALLY that difficult to just automatically have your ID ready when buying alcohol?

It's not an issue with common sense or good judgment. It's about keeping the burden off of those just doing their job.

I find it ludicrous that it's that big of a deal to have your ID handy.