A life God rewards? (Possible debate...please be nice)

[msmouse]

Pray, and when you do so, listen with your heart. He will speak to you. Also, please read THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE by Rick Warren.

Hang in there. Depression is real. There is help out there for you.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Stepharoonie,
Oh, I had no idea what you are going through.
I've always thought what a cool person you seem like from your posts. You are so pretty, and your daughter is so cute.

Maybe you are just going through a bad spell, and it will pass.I think that you will turn your life around very soon. Just hang in there.

 

[Disneymomma]

I can't give any better advice than has allready been given. Judging by the replies you have recieved, I say you are truly blessed, in the friendships you have created!

 

[Hayley]

Like others are saying, keep praying. But I figured something out that has helped me with prayer. I used to say, for example, "God, I really want that job. Please help me get it." And then I'd be bummed if I didn't. Now, I really do "give it to God" (I hate cliches like that in religion, but I really don't know how else to say it.)

Give this to God. Say, "God, help me." Let go of the idea that you know what the outcome should be for any given problem. Say, "God, guide me. SHow me what I need to do, and give me the courage to do it." When I started praying this way, I really started seeing the power of prayer!!!!

Things didn't always turn out the way I had been planning, but they always turned out for the best. Many times I'd think, "Gee, I never would have thought of that solution!" Well duhhhhh, Hayley!!! Like I'm going to come up with something better than God can!!!! Give it to God!!!!!

 

[montessori]

Steph,
I also keep a recipe box chock full of quotes and inspirational tidbits of all kinds.
It's easy to take out one or two when I need a little boost.


"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first,
some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.
At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.
Happiness is the way.
So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination."
Souza

"While we have the gift of life,
it seems to me the only tragedy
is to allow part of us to die --
whether it is our spirit,
our creativity,
or our glorious uniqueness."
Gilda Radner

"We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same."
Anne Frank


"Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
and today is a gift;
that’s why they call it the present."
Eleanor Roosevelt

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
Walt Disney


"All the really valuable things you own are things you can't photograph." unknown

"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right."
Henry Ford

"There are no great people in this world, only great challenges which ordinary people rise to meet."
William Frederick Halsy, Jr.

*******************************************
In Lifes Garden
Count your garden by the flowers,
never by the leaves that fall.

Count your days by the golden hours,
don't remember the clouds at all.

Count your nights by the stars,
not by shadows.

Count your life with smiles not tears,
and with joy through all your life.

Count your age by friends not years.
*****************************************

These are just a few gems from my recipe file.

Hope you are having a better day today!

 

[rahwest]

hey just reading through this made me think of this song by scott krippayne. read the lyrics ... and really think about them ...

All who sail the sea of faith
Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark
And gentle winds grow strong
Suddenly fear is like white water
Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing
That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered >peace be still<
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken
We cannot be pulled apart from Christ
No matter how the driving rain beats down
On those who hold ot faith
A heart of trust will always
Be a quiet peaceful place



I'm sure in the end you will see a reason for all this ... hang in there and let God calm your heart with the knowing thoughts that he can see the whole parade .. you can only see the floats that are in front of you

sarah

 

[jinxed]

Steph, I am going through all the same things. Except for the divorce, that happened 8 yrs ago. My kids are now 10, 12 and 18. I often wonder why does God make life so difficult for me. I live day to day financially. Used our tax refund for our upcoming trip, otherwise we wouldn't be able to go. I figure the kids and I really deserve it. The bills are always going to be there.

What I tell myself is that everthing happens for a reason. Every unexpected bill or setback makes me stronger and now I am one heck of a strong person. I have survival skills that others that I know who have everything are in awe and are envious of me!

It's always one step forward, two steps back for me, but I am a better person for it and don't take things or people for granted.
My son, who is also my best friend, commented the other day that if my ex and never split up 8 years ago, they (the kids) would probably be messed up. This is one of those cases where the kids are better off being raised by a single parent and my son knows it. I don't regret anything or any decisions I made in my life. This is the path I am choosing and even without money, it's not a bad path, we are happy. I am soooo grateful for my kids.

My mother said to me the other day that I was lucky, I have 3 great kids. I told her luck had nothing to do with it, they are great because of me! Alot of hard work, patience, love and understanding!

Just remember, everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn't make sense at the time. Hugs for you and don't stop believing in God. He truly is watching over us and making sure we have what we really need.

 

[WDWLVR]

Steph - first and foremost

You are not alone. I think we all have a case of the "why me's" from time to time. For me it was when I was diagnosed with cancer, then when I lost my job, then when I lost my mom. I survived each of those and you will survive too.

Let me tell you one thing that I have been doing and I think it helps. Maybe it will help you too. I got a 2 subject notebook and I carry it with me daily. The back part I use as a type of journal. When I'm feeling down I'll write about it. When I'm feeling good I'll write about it. When I'm questioning myself I write it down. Having it down in black and white really seems to help. Start by writing down everything that is bothering you, then take the time to write down all your blessings. Hopefully you will see they balance out and many times the blessings (when you really look for them outweight the negatives).

The front part of the book? I use that for daydreaming. That's where I plan upcoming trips, juggle budgets to make things happen etc. Again when I'm having a bad day just looking at those dreams - especially the ones that have come true really helps.

Good luck and know we are here for you.

 

[jinxed]

WDWLVR, what a terrific idea. I did that years ago, but when I had to move 8 yrs ago, I threw it out.

I have actually been thinking about starting another one because it really did help me back then. Now that I see others do this, I think I really will start another one.

I remember when I was teen and we all know how difficult those years can be, the slightest negative thing to happen in our lifes such as a boy breaking up with ya is "the end of the world". Well what got me those difficult years is writing poems. I wrote 100's of them. Unfortunately, I threw them all out when I moved out of mom's. I wish I didn't. It would be cool to see what I wrote.

I had it easy going through the teen years first with my son, but my daughter is there now (12 going on 30) and boy do I see my teen self in her "moods". But the worst is yet to come, I just know my 10 yr old is going to have me pulling hair out of my head.

 

[nuke]

Originally posted by Stepharoonie!
I just don't understand why God would allow the to have so much when they're really doing Him wrong.

How exactly are they doing him wrong? By not being married?

I find that if I look for the blessings in my own life and not dwell on others that I feel better about things. God's blessings are not all about material things.

 

[Beastlover]

God does love you--I can't say anything that others haven't already said!! What a wonderful group of people!!

God Bless all of you!
Stepharoonie-I will remember you in my prayers!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Four pages of God's blessings right here, Steph. What wonderful thoughts from a very caring, warm community of people, friends, family. You are blessed. You will see things improve, slowly, but you will, just watch. You will look back at a point and sat, 'WOW, I have come a long way, we have come a long way'. You'll see.

 

[deirdrefitch]

Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Don't Give Up! God Loves Us ALL!

 

[nuts4sn00py]

Let me say first that I don't preach to others & while I follow my religion I am not overly religious. With that said I have always believed God gives us what we can handle. I have had many things happen in my life that could have caused me to question my faith, but it only helped to strengthen it. Right before my DD's First Communion I got ill. I ended up in the hospital & 2 days before her Communion I had an emergency appendectomy. My mother said: "Why God, why now?" My response was:
"because if it didn't happen than I probably wouldn't have went to the Dr. I would have shook it off until it was too late, but I wanted to be well at the Communion." (I was there! Pain & all)! Last year before my son's Communion I was diagnosed with Melanoma, it was removed, I'm doing ok, etc..etc. Believe me that is only the tip of the iceberg! I tell you all this because as I said, I truly believe God only gives us what we can handle. Some can handle more than others. I hope you find the answers you are looking for & remember no matter what, He loves you! When you think he has deserted you, is when he is carrying you. I'm sorry this is so long, jkust wanted to share my viewpoint! I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers & wish you well. Kathy

 

[JerseyJanice]

It's human nature to think "why me?" when you're feeling down about your life. And I doubt there isn't anyone on Earth who doesn't feel down about themselves or their lives from time to time.

Regardless, I don't recall reading anywhere in the scriptures that good people are rewarded by God with material things (cars, houses, vacations, etc.).

You are young, and you are healthy, no? These are two great blessings in themselves.

I have a niece who was born in 1980. At the ripe old age of 13, she got leukemia, and basically, her life was completely ruined by it.

She survived the cancer, but with a host of medical problems, including some pretty severe brain damage.

This was a kid who seemed to have the world at her fingertips while she was growing up--beautiful, smart, good family, etc.

Ten years after a near fatal illness, she's lucky just to be alive. A career, marriage, children, a home of her own--all of these things are now completely out of the question for her.

Sorry. I'm not feeling too much sympathy for you or wondering why God isn't rewarding your goodness. I'm still wondering what my niece could have done by the age of 13 to deserve so much awful luck.

All I can say is be grateful for the good things you do have (especially if one of them is good health), because trust me, there are people who have it a hell of a lot worse.

 

[DoeWDW]

Steph, I'm sending you a warm and gentle .

I just want you to know that when I look back on my life and remember the times that I went through what you're going through, I now can see the blessings that came from those tough times. I would not be the person I am today without all those experiences.

I've enjoyed some good times in my life and I've been in some difficult times. I've learned the most and grown the most as a person during those tough times. I'm a more compassionate and caring person because of what I've been through.

Take care of you, Steph - you're truly worth it! God loves you and many here on the DIS love you, including me!

I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Disney Doll]

First off, you sound depressed. If you haven't already done so, get yourself to a doctor and a therapist and get some meds and some counselling. There is no need to feel badly all the time. If money is an issue for you, call your local mental health agency and they can hook you up with someone.

Second, do something for someone else less fotunate than you. I am a nurse, and I know that it puts life into perspective to see folks worse off than me. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, volunteer at a hospital...do something to take you outside yourself.

Don't let the material things your friends have fool you. Sometimes, that is all people have. You don't live in their house, you have no idea what it's like behind closed doors. I have known more than one couple who appeared to "have it all" who suddenly had it "all" fall down around them. Come to find out they had a lot of material stuff, but no substance.

I am a firm believer into talking yourself into things. If you walk around thinking your life stinks it's not fair, etc, you're going to convince yourself of that negative message. If you walk around thinking that ..."OK maybe things aren't great now, but this great thing happened to day and I have this to look forward to next week" and put a positive spin on things, you'd be surprised how you'll perk up.

I went through my 30's desperately trying to have a child. Spent money, time, and heartache in that quest. I never had a child. I forced myself some days to go to work, where it seemed everyone my age was pregnant, I forced myself to go to baby showers and share in others' joy, and I counted my blessings that I had friends and relatives who so generously shared thier children with us. I became iportant in their lives, because I decided that kids can't have too many people to love them, and these children who were close to me were going to reap the benefit of my love, and they have. Sometimes, it's all in how you frame it.

I am a person of faith. I believe that God does not give us more than we can handle, and I also believe that even if we don't understand it sometimes, God knows what He is doing. I find that when I "let go and let God" things turn around.

You will be in my prayers.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Ditto what everyone else has said so far. Also big 's and want to let you know I feel the same way sometimes.

But agree, everything happens for a reason. Look at all the good things you have You have a job you like, a beautiful daughter who adores you and good friends. And you ARE so pretty! Really!

I do hope you feel better soon.

~Sheri

 

[LScot]

Steph,
There really isn't anything to add here. People have said so many caring, wonderful, true words to you.

Do count your blessings. With the little I know of you from the board, I could count many.

Do remember that God doesn't reward with material things.

Do remember that God allows it to rain on the "just and the unjust".

Do remember that god never leaves you even in your saddest moments.

Do remember to turn to Him in prayer. Pour out your heart to Him. Share your thoughts, frustrations and feelings. Whether it be good things or bad things. Tell Him how you feel about your EX. Heaven knows I have cried out to God, screamed in anger, questioned and asked for help dealing with all of it.

Someone said to read Psalms. I agree. Great book to read when you're feeling like Job!

Like Disney Doll said, use positive self talk. Very important. Life is tough. It isn't easy. God doesn't promise a life that is easy and rich just because you have chosen to be a child of His. He's with you through all that stuff. He never leaves you.

 

[montessori]

Wow, so many encouraging and thought-provoking responses for Stepharoonie!

I hope she'll respond in turn.