A lady was mean to my 4 year old today..

[kaytieeldr]

True, but if someone is having such a bad day for whatever reason and they want to be left alone, then they should find a way to make sure they are alone

While it is unreasonable to expect to not encounter children at McDonald's and similar restaurants, it is entirely reasonable to expect those same children to not touch one's personal belongings or to attempt to engage strangers in conversation.

 

[ginna74]

I remember working at MCDs when I was in my teens... So I wouldn't eat there (in the resteraunt that is but take out sure) LOLOLOL

 

[Scurvy]

Well....In MY world.....It's all about......................ME!!!

When I read that, I thought it said "Well....In MY world.....It's all about........................Men!" and I was thinking that was an awfully strange addition to this thread.

 

[MichelleVW]

When I read that, I thought it said "Well....In MY world.....It's all about........................Men!" and I was thinking that was an awfully strange addition to this thread.

 

[glitterkittyy]

When I read that, I thought it said "Well....In MY world.....It's all about........................Men!" and I was thinking that was an awfully strange addition to this thread.

OMG that's how I read it at first too. lol Too funny.

 

[luvmy3]

While it is unreasonable to expect to not encounter children at McDonald's and similar restaurants, it is entirely reasonable to expect those same children to not touch one's personal belongings or to attempt to engage strangers in conversation.

I won't disagree about the touching of someone elses personal belongings but are you serious about children not attempting to engage in a conversation with a stranger that is sitting next them and their parent? I quess you won't be moving to Pleasantville anytime soon.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I guess its too much of a concept to expect an adult to treat people with respect, including 4 year olds. I guess in this case the old woman's parents never took the responsibility to teach her.
There is never an excuse to be rude to another,

Agreed. After the OP told her son it's rude to touch other peoples' things, he proceeded to annoy the same customer by tapping on the space between them and then by asking her name before introducing himself.
If you feel the older woman was rude, then so was the child.

 

[Bluestars]

I wouldn't let my child disturb others by trying to engage them in a conversation while they were eating. If the person starts a conversation with us, that's one thing. But I would not assume they wanted to spend their meal time talking to my child.

 

[eeyore kelly]

No, it doesn't depend on the tone of voice but more the question posed. Responding to an innocent question from a 4 year old in that way is rude and disrespectful.
Let me ask you this, if your child's teacher called you and told you that they asked your child what they had for lunch and they responded 'none of your business" would you apologize for your child or would you tell the teacher that it really is none of their business?
Where I come from its rude and disresctful to answer a reasonable question with "none of your business". There are plenty of other responses that can be just as effective yet not quite as rude.
Now one can argue that asking someone's name is unreasonable but what a sad world we live in if that is truly the case.

We are going to disagree on this, but here is my response. A teacher is not a 4 year old. A student is expected to answer a teacher. Very few questions would warrant a "none of your business" response to a teacher. Only something along the lines of the teacher asking "What kind of underwear are you wearing?" Different situation = Different rules.

I believe it is rude and disrepectful to touch other people's stuff, be annoying in a public place, and engage people who obviously want to be left alone in conversation.

I believe tone of voice and facial expession are much more important than actual words--most of the time. While I understand that you consider "none of your business" rude, I do not consider it rude in and of itself. We will have to agree to disagree on that point.

There are times that I do not want to engage in the outside world, and would much rather stay at home. However, I must go out into the world to take care of business. By going outside of my house I am not giving anyone's special snowflake permission to bug me. If anyone touches my stuff, drums on a shared surface, and then tries to engage me in conversation, I am not going to smile and interact.

I am not saying that the child is demon seed or headed for a life of crime. I am saying that snowflake's mom could have been more proactive.

On a personal note, DS is a drummer. I can not tell you how many times I tell him to "stop tapping." He is not allowed to annoy others.

At 4, my children did not touch other people's stuff, do things known to annoy most others, or engage them in unwanted conversation. They weren't perfect, but I did teach and reinforce respect for those around them.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Yes, actually I have 3 kids my youngest 6 and if I were in that McD's that day I would have told my children to stop (just as the OP did). My oldest 2 would have but my youngest probably would have pushed it to see how far he would get. If he continued I would apologize to the woman and dealt with his behavior the way I saw fit.

Well, it appears the child DID "push it" - not necessarily to see how far he'd get, but he continued interacting with the other customer - but the OP seems to have only told him not to touch other peoples' stuff. She doesn't appear to have made any comment to him when he was tapping the seat or when he tried to talk to the other customer.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Ok, this thread is much ado about nothing but it is entertaining. So what if you had some "conflict" in McDonald's. Get over it.

My child (when he was 7 and is on the Autism Spectrum) literally went up to another table at Downtown Disney and TOUCHED someone else's food. We knew he had a tendency to want to do this so we watched him like a hawk in restaurants and around others' food, but this one time, we missed it and he made contact with these people's food.

We apologized profusely and offered to buy everyone at their table new dinners. We were so embarrased and felt so bad.

The people's response? "We're from India and a lot worse things have happened to our food than a child touching it." They laughed and wouldn't let us buy them any food or reimburse them for their existing meal.

I learned a lesson from these people. Yeah, it might've been gross, but in the larger scheme of things, so what. Move on.

The child misbehaved, the old lady was a little rude. Get over it.

 

[luvmy3]

Agreed. After the OP told her son it's rude to touch other peoples' things, he proceeded to annoy the same customer by tapping on the space between them and then by asking her name before introducing himself. If you feel the older woman was rude, then so was the child.

OMG he should be stoned.

He's 4, I don't see the annoying behavior of a pre-school aged child as rude. I do see the behavior of crotchety old women as such. YMMV

 

[kaytieeldr]

On Sunday I was shopping and I was at the register paying and my almost 3 year old DS was talking to my mom. He was being pretty well behaved by my standards. He must have bumped into a lady standing at the other register because I spotted her giving him a terrible look. Stink eye x5.

Honestly I didn't care at all. I just figured she doesn't like kids.

Op - really don't take it personally. Lots of people don't like kids, or are having a bad day.

Or maybe she just doesn't like being bumped into; or maybe she's got a condition like fibromyalgia or rheumatoid arthritis or hemophelia or brittle bones and despite doing everything possible to avoid bumps she needed to go shopping then and be in that checkout line when she was.

 

[FireDancer]

Or maybe she just doesn't like being bumped into; or maybe she's got a condition like fibromyalgia or rheumatoid arthritis or hemophelia or brittle bones and despite doing everything possible to avoid bumps she needed to go shopping then and be in that checkout line when she was.

ooo, I want to play:

or maybe she was the second gunman on the grassy knoll, the real 5th Beatle, it was her soul in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, or she's the missing link or the Higgs Bosson particle in human form here to stop your child from discovering it in the future when he gets a job at the LHC.

I find the intolerance of children surprising. A little tapping on a shared bench or innocent curiosity is no big deal. He was told to stop touching her purse and he wasn't kicking her in the shins. There is no need to be grumpy, ever.

If any of you want to sit next to me I will gladly answer you kids questions and engage in their banter. I may even find it in me to smile while talking to them. I know, the horror.

Besides, if I am not willing to talk to kids how am I supposed to pick up single moms . Just kidding not really

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I can almost guarantee it wasn't just "tapping" on the bench!

 

[Scurvy]

Ok, this thread is much ado about nothing but it is entertaining. So what if you had some "conflict" in McDonald's. Get over it.

My child (when he was 7 and is on the Autism Spectrum) literally went up to another table at Downtown Disney and TOUCHED someone else's food. We knew he had a tendency to want to do this so we watched him like a hawk in restaurants and around others' food, but this one time, we missed it and he made contact with these people's food.

We apologized profusely and offered to buy everyone at their table new dinners. We were so embarrased and felt so bad.

The people's response? "We're from India and a lot worse things have happened to our food than a child touching it." They laughed and wouldn't let us buy them any food or reimburse them for their existing meal.

I learned a lesson from these people. Yeah, it might've been gross, but in the larger scheme of things, so what. Move on.

The child misbehaved, the old lady was a little rude. Get over it.

I suspect - though of course I could be wrong - that the people's response had quite a bit to do with how you responded to the situation. Kids do weird things, whether they are on the Spectrum or not, and I think most people have had their child or a child close to them behave in a way that they shouldn't. Even the best parents in the world can't always stop their children from misbehaving all the time, and sometimes their kids misbehave in a way that bothers others. In my experience, it's the parents' reaction that makes all the difference. If your child touched my food and you corrected him and acted apologetic, I'd probably laugh it off too. I've laughed off worse when I thought a parent was doing the best they could with their child. But if your child did something even more minor than that (like kept pestering me) and you acted annoyed that I wasn't humoring him I wouldn't laugh it off - I'd be irritated.

If I can see that a parent is trying the best they can to make sure their child behaves, I'm going to be able to tolerate a lot more from them than I will if they act like the world revolves around their little snowflake.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The thing the lady could have done to not be so rude was to smile and look away - if she was that old she might be able to play off that she is hard of hearing.

Then most likely the OP would have reported the same incident, except indicating the other customer was rude because she ignored the child's question.

And I'd like to point out, 'old' is a matter of perception. More than once, I've seen posts on the DIS from people who are concerned about their parents' stamina at Disney because the parents are "older" or "getting on in years" or some similar description - only to discover, on questioning, that the parents are in their forties!

 

[luvmy3]

ooo, I want to play:

or maybe she was the second gunman on the grassy knoll, the real 5th Beatle, it was her soul in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, or she's the missing link or the Higgs Bosson particle in human form here to stop your child from discovering it in the future when he gets a job at the LHC.

I find the intolerance of children surprising. A little tapping on a shared bench or innocent curiosity is no big deal. He was told to stop touching her purse and he wasn't kicking her in the shins. There is no need to be grumpy, ever.

If any of you want to sit next to me I will gladly answer you kids questions and engage in their banter. I may even find it in me to smile while talking to them. I know, the horror.

Besides, if I am not willing to talk to kids how am I supposed to pick up single moms . Just kidding not really

I don't think you'll have any problems. I saw that other thread, you have quite a fanclub going

 

[FireDancer]

I don't think you'll have any problems. I saw that other thread, you have quite a fanclub going

Yeah, I have to say that was the best thread hijack ever...though I could be a tiny bit biased.

I'm just trying to keep it light. People get so uptight about things that in the scheme of life really don't make a big difference. I'd rather be the outgoing stranger than grumpy curmudgeon any day. I don't even yell at my neighbor's little kids when they walk on my lawn.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Yeah, I have to say that was the best thread hijack ever...though I could be a tiny bit biased.

I'm just trying to keep it light. People get so uptight about things that in the scheme of life really don't make a big difference. I'd rather be the outgoing stranger than grumpy curmudgeon any day. I don't even yell at my neighbor's little kids when they walk on my lawn.

Yell at 'em? I'd pop a cap in their...nevermind.