A lady was mean to my 4 year old today..

[ols386]

Why should a person wanting to be left alone need to tolerate another person's child?

The kid wasn't doing anything horrible. Talk about making a mountain out of molehill.

 

[Bluestars]

Nah, I jus use the duct tape on hubby. He's the one who can't keep his yap shut when in public, not the kids. lol

Duct tape would have solved the problem quickly. A little on the older lady and a little on the kid and all would have been well at McDonald's that day

 

[Stacerita]

At the risk of being a spoilsport and bringing the thread back to the original topic, I just have to say that I'm pretty sure in post #1 the OP did say she told him to stop
And again we are talking about a 4 year old asking someone their name. I guess according to some of you the mom should have brought her duct tape to put over his mouth just in case the little heathen dared to speak to the woman sitting next to him. She should have also chained his hands behind his back so he wouldn't tap on a seat that he may not have even realized that the woman could feel what he was doing.
OMG he didn't scream at her, touch her, pick his nose and fling it on her burger. He touched her purse was told to stop, he tapped his finger and asked her name. I feel sorry for those of you who think this is so appauling, it must take alot of effort to see the worst in everything a 4 year old does.

A four year old still needs to know its not ok to do that. No one says there needs to be duct tape or chains involved, but this should clearly be a teaching moment that not everyone wants to engage with your child. There are a million things that lady could have done or not done to change how she reacted to the situation. Just as there are a million things the mother could have done differently to change it as well.

 

[luvmy3]

Although it does sound like the older lady was rude, if it were my child I would have made sure he had no more contact with the lady after the purse incident. I would not have let him tap the seat or ask her questions. The woman obviously wanted to be left alone. I think sometime people think that everyone would love to interact with their child during a meal or wherever. That's not always the case and they should be respectful of that.

He didn't want to sit there discussing philosophy with her, he just asked her name. All she had to do is say "I'm sorry but I don't feel like talking" but instead she gave a very rude response, to a 4 year old. It takes a special person to be able to do that, a real special person

 

[luvmy3]

A four year old still needs to know its not ok to do that. No one says there needs to be duct tape or chains involved, but this should clearly be a teaching moment that not everyone wants to engage with your child. There are a million things that lady could have done or not done to change how she reacted to the situation. Just as there are a million things the mother could have done differently to change it as well.

So did your kids know that they should never ever ask anyone their name because its rude when they were 1,2,3? Did you drill that into their heads from the moment they were born? Did you have a situation like in the OP and use that as a teaching moment to let your kids no they should never try to be friendly and ask someone their name? Just curious at what a point a 4 year old should know that kind of thing is just wrong

 

[TwinsinCA]

He didn't want to sit there discussing philosophy with her, he just asked her name. All she had to do is say "I'm sorry but I don't feel like talking" but instead she gave a very rude response, to a 4 year old. It takes a special person to be able to do that, a real special person

This is after the kid was touching her purse and drumming on their mutual bench. Clearly she was tired of having to deal with this kid. The kid (and mom) were not getting that point so she had to be a bit blunt. And it worked.

 

[eeyore kelly]

He didn't want to sit there discussing philosophy with her, he just asked her name. All she had to do is say "I'm sorry but I don't feel like talking" but instead she gave a very rude response, to a 4 year old. It takes a special person to be able to do that, a real special person

I disagree. The parent should have put a stop to it before asking her name. I would have just flat out ignored the snowflake.

I also disagree telling someone "none of your business" is rude. It may have or may not have in this case it all depends on the tone of voice.

It is actually none of the little snowflake's business what the lady's name was.

 

[Bluestars]

The problem with parents not teaching their four year old children to leave other people alone, is that they turn into 8 yr monsters who sit in the next row from you on an airplane and bug the heck out of everyone around them.

This girl who was around 8 yrs old flew by herself and bugged not only the people in her row, but our son who was sitting in the seat behind her. Of course my son was polite, but I felt sorry for him being bothered by this child during a 4 hour flight. The kid was so bad that the people who sat next to her got free airline vouchers from the stewardess.

If this child had been taught some manners, then she would have known how rude she was acting. She even told the guy sitting next to him that he smelled.

So I would hope that at the age of four a child would be taught some basic manners like not bothering people while they are eating. I think a parent should be able to tell by eye contact if a person is open to conversation or just wants to be left alone.

 

[Scurvy]

Wow, I went out to get fries and look what I missed!

Stacerita, thanks for the explanation about usernames. I didn't realize that, but it makes sense.

He didn't want to sit there discussing philosophy with her, he just asked her name. All she had to do is say "I'm sorry but I don't feel like talking" but instead she gave a very rude response, to a 4 year old. It takes a special person to be able to do that, a real special person

I think that this might be a matter of perspective. I've heard plenty of people say "It's none of your business" in a pleasant tone, and the people they've said it to weren't offended. Maybe you haven't, and so when you read it you "heard" it in an unpleasant tone. The woman could have chosen to be nicer, but I don't think we have any reason to assume that she said it in a particularly nasty tone. If she ripped the kid's arm off and beat him with it, or started spewing obscenities at him, or even told the mom "Keep your demon spawn away from me!" I think we'd all agree it was rude. But I don't think "It's none of your business" is universally considered rude. Many people use it in a perfectly matter-of-fact way, which is how I "heard" the woman in the OP using it as I read the post. Maybe she said it nastily. Maybe she didn't. From the OP, we really have no way of knowing that. But I disagree with you that the phrase itself is rude, and I'm not the only person who thinks it's a phrase that can be completely polite, depending of course on the tone of voice.

 

[luvmy3]

I disagree. The parent should have put a stop to it before asking her name. I would have just flat out ignored the snowflake.

I also disagree telling someone "none of your business" is rude. It may have or may not have in this case it all depends on the tone of voice.

It is actually none of the little snowflake's business what the lady's name was.

No, it doesn't depend on the tone of voice but more the question posed. Responding to an innocent question from a 4 year old in that way is rude and disrespectful.
Let me ask you this, if your child's teacher called you and told you that they asked your child what they had for lunch and they responded 'none of your business" would you apologize for your child or would you tell the teacher that it really is none of their business?
Where I come from its rude and disresctful to answer a reasonable question with "none of your business". There are plenty of other responses that can be just as effective yet not quite as rude.
Now one can argue that asking someone's name is unreasonable but what a sad world we live in if that is truly the case.

 

[Stacerita]

Wow, I went out to get fries and look what I missed!
Stacerita, thanks for the explanation about usernames. I didn't realize that, but it makes sense.




I think that this might be a matter of perspective. I've heard plenty of people say "It's none of your business" in a pleasant tone, and the people they've said it to weren't offended. Maybe you haven't, and so when you read it you "heard" it in an unpleasant tone. The woman could have chosen to be nicer, but I don't think we have any reason to assume that she said it in a particularly nasty tone. If she ripped the kid's arm off and beat him with it, or started spewing obscenities at him, or even told the mom "Keep your demon spawn away from me!" I think we'd all agree it was rude. But I don't think "It's none of your business" is universally considered rude. Many people use it in a perfectly matter-of-fact way, which is how I "heard" the woman in the OP using it as I read the post. Maybe she said it nastily. Maybe she didn't. From the OP, we really have no way of knowing that. But I disagree with you that the phrase itself is rude, and I'm not the only person who thinks it's a phrase that can be completely polite, depending of course on the tone of voice.

Were they McDonald's fries? And did you have to sit next a kid to eat them? Inquiring minds need to know.

 

[ols386]

I think that this might be a matter of perspective.

I think this is very true. Many, many things are a matter of perspective.

That's why some threads get so heated. Because we all see and hear things from our own perspective.

 

[MichelleVW]

Omg...I missed a lot by going to work today!!

Thanks for the pages and pages of entertainment that I just read...

Oh and I still think the kid was being rude...

 

[glitterkittyy]

Omg...I missed a lot by going to work today!!

Thanks for the pages and pages of entertainment that I just read...

Oh and I still think the kid was being rude...

Okay, but what about the REAL topic?

Is it all about Stacerita or glitterkittyy?????

 

[Boxley]

Is it all about Stacerita or glitterkittyy?????

Ladies, ladies, this has been a useless fight.

It's all about Boxley, the original Dis-Diva herself...

 

[luvmy3]

Wow, I went out to get fries and look what I missed!

Stacerita, thanks for the explanation about usernames. I didn't realize that, but it makes sense.




I think that this might be a matter of perspective. I've heard plenty of people say "It's none of your business" in a pleasant tone, and the people they've said it to weren't offended. Maybe you haven't, and so when you read it you "heard" it in an unpleasant tone. The woman could have chosen to be nicer, but I don't think we have any reason to assume that she said it in a particularly nasty tone. If she ripped the kid's arm off and beat him with it, or started spewing obscenities at him, or even told the mom "Keep your demon spawn away from me!" I think we'd all agree it was rude. But I don't think "It's none of your business" is universally considered rude. Many people use it in a perfectly matter-of-fact way, which is how I "heard" the woman in the OP using it as I read the post. Maybe she said it nastily. Maybe she didn't. From the OP, we really have no way of knowing that. But I disagree with you that the phrase itself is rude, and I'm not the only person who thinks it's a phrase that can be completely polite, depending of course on the tone of voice.

Yes, now there would be no arguing over that I was raised that you treated those who spoke to you with respect, and you answer what is asked of you in a respectful manner. If I ever answered "none of your business" to anyone asking a harmless question I would have had soap in my mouth.
While I do agree that certain questions may warrant a NOYB response, a simple inquiry of one's name doesn't, and coming from a child especially. Thats just me, and if my kid asked her and she answered him that way, I wouldn't tell him he was in the wrong, I'd tell him she was. But what can I say he's my special snowflake

I just want to say what a sad day it is when its expected that we teach our children not to be friendly to others.

 

[Scurvy]

Were they McDonald's fries? And did you have to sit next a kid to eat them? Inquiring minds need to know.

Of course not - I didn't want to risk running into anyone with bowel issues!

They were Five Guys fries. And I did have to sit next to a kid, but he was my own so I didn't have to worry about offending anyone if I told him something was none of his business. (Which I do quite often, come to think if it!) However, there were a ton of kids there. I think some sports team was having their end-of-season party there. I saw trophies, even. (Really!) They were all quite well behaved and none of them asked me anything, especially not my name. (One did dare to speak to me, but since she was saying "Excuse me" while trying to get a lid for her drink I decided not to yell at her for it.) Plus, none of them tried to pilfer my purse. And no one screeched, either. Of course that isn't surprising, since it was a high class place like Five Guys and not someplace like Walmart.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Ladies, ladies, this has been a useless fight.

It's all about Boxley, the original Dis-Dive herself...

Great, the original DisZilla herself wants in on it. lol

 

[Stacerita]

Okay, but what about the REAL topic?

Is it all about Stacerita or glitterkittyy?????

Damn skippy!

Ladies, ladies, this has been a useless fight.

It's all about Boxley, the original Dis-Diva herself...

You sure about that?

Of course not - I didn't want to risk running into anyone with bowel issues!

They were Five Guys fries. And I did have to sit next to a kid, but he was my own so I didn't have to worry about offending anyone if I told him something was none of his business. (Which I do quite often, come to think if it!) However, there were a ton of kids there. I think some sports team was having their end-of-season party there. I saw trophies, even. (Really!) They were all quite well behaved and none of them asked me anything, especially not my name. (One did dare to speak to me, but since she was saying "Excuse me" while trying to get a lid for her drink I decided not to yell at her for it.) Plus, none of them tried to pilfer my purse. And no one screeched, either. Of course that isn't surprising, since it was a high class place like Five Guys and not someplace like Walmart.

Glad you are so high class then.

 

[MichelleVW]

Okay, but what about the REAL topic?

Is it all about Stacerita or glitterkittyy?????

Well....In MY world.....It's all about......................ME!!!