A friend of my son's attempted suicide

[piglet too]

My prayers go out to the young girl, her family and your son as well. I think a card or something like that would be a good idea. That way they can deal with it on their time and go from there.

I would also look at having your son talk to someone who can help him work out any gulit he might be feeling. I used to be a part of a teen suicide prevention acting group, and it is amazing the guilt friends feel for not seeing the signs.

 

[KelNottAt]

My DH's sister attempted suicide many years ago. DH didn't learn about it from his parents until 4 days later. Turns out my inlaws were drowning in such a tumultuous sea of emotions (shock, sadness, guilt, shame, depression, anger, concern, denial, pain, etc) that they could barely function. In addition, they said they wanted to tell DH in person, not over the phone. (we lived 100 miles apart.)

Perhaps your friends are going through the same thing. I'm sorry I only have that theory for you and not some real advice. In DH's situation, he was moved to tears upon hearing the news. Imagine our surprise when this reaction caused DFIL to explode in anger and storm out of the house. Obviously the pressure and emotional weight can be too much for the most rational, loving people to handle.

Tread lightly. Best of luck. I'm praying for you and your friend's family.

Kelley

 

[EsmeraldaX]

It is so hard to be a 13 year old girl in this country these days. I was suicidal from about age 12 to age 23 (my last attempt was the night before my wedding I did not want to go through with but could not bear to dissapoint my parents). That marriage was annulled 3 weeks later after the guy hit me and a good friend (now my boyfriend of several years) gave me the stregnth to leave. Later as I started finding people I could talk to who seemed to like me for me, I started feeling better and haven't considered anything like that in over 4 years.

I can't even imagine what this poor child was going through, but when people say they can't think of anything that could distress a 13 year old enough to do something so drastic, they're wrong. There is SO much horrible pressure on kids to look like pop stars, to fit in, to be popular, to make perfect grades, to know what they want to do when they grow up. Kids are becomming adults younger and younger these days. I can remember at age 15 being depressed because I thought I was fat (I probably weighed 100 lbs) or because I thought I failed a class and was going to dissapoint everyone.

It's so sad that kids can't just be kids. There are so many things that can lead to this and it just infuriates me to no end. I don't pretend to know what the situation was in this case, but god knows shows like The Swan or whatever it's called, and role models like Britney Spears don't make growing up a girl in this country any easier.

And who knows what other pressures there were in this poor kids life at that time. Kids, esp. teens tend to blame a lot of things on themselves. I know I did. Thank god I got better and found my way. I hope this girl does too. Thank god she wasn't successful.

My heart goes out to her and her family. I think you should send a card, and let them know you are there for them. It's hard for people to discuss it. It's sucha touchy subject and the parents often blame themselves and don't know what to say even if they desperately want to say something. Wait for them. They will come to you when the time is right.

I'm so sorry,

Sheri