A Dream, A promise and a bust.. a lesson in autism

[robin09]

I'm back from my cruise on the Dream, promises were broken, and I'm hoping to spare a family crushed dreams as ours were. Our DD has aspergers, ocd, sensory issues... and more

Quick note: We booked a cruise on the Feb. 19th Dream... 4 nights. We booked this November of 2010. We spoke to our travel agent many times, concerning our DD now 13. She has a love of disney, has gone to sleep to the Disney DVD since she was 3. Her dream has been to go to the Oceaneers club and Lab. We were told that yes, she will be able to...

THEN this past year, rules changed and they became stricter with the age limits.... I again called my agent and called Disney themselves. I was told tht there will be no problem, they are noting our account... I was on the phone well over an hour with Disney to make sure....

February 19th came.... we got on the boat, it was gorgeous! Jenna was happy, literally jumping up and down... she was actually radiating... so happy, we went to the oceaneers club, lab... she was beaming.. it was gorgeous.... AND THEN... we went to sign her in... nope, we tried explaining, went thru 3, 4 people... and were told, sorry she cannot come in.... only during open house.. and only with you.. she cannot be alone. Jenna had a meltdown, right there and then... crying, down to the floor meltdown. I felt so little... I wanted off the boat right there and then.. Tried explaining, told them to look up our records...nope.

Later that night, Jenna receieved an invitation to come to the club during Open house the next day..... We went, and I asked does this mean she can come at any time? Is this what was promised? And they said no, it was open to anyone, and her parents have to be there... boom , another meltdown Why would you send this? Her answer.. to make her feel special... I tried once again explaining, I do this every day of the year, she doesn't fit in with her age group, kids her age do not talk or play with her.... I was turned away again.

The cruise director than wants to meet with us, an hour later we get a promise that they will work something out, they took down what jenna likes...

They gave her 2 hours for the 2 days at lab and club, but not when the kids were there, just during open house.. I felt very dirty, after overhearing them tell other parents... nope , take your child to the other room, we can't let him in till this child is gone.....

I have a very bad taste in my mouth and very sad at seeing my daughter's dream hurt. Thankfully, she is blind to alot of things... and it's me that's hurting and not her....

I hope this helps someone avoid this issue, I will not listen to any promises from Disney any longer... my eyes are opened

 

[canwegosoon]

Did you call back the people you spent an hour on the phone with? I would have- this was not not fair to you and your daughter-I am sure you would have done something different if you knew it was going to be like that

 

[robin09]

Believe me, I tried all I could, kept going up the ladder.... Also had my travel agent trying to get ahold of anyone to help... It left a bitter taste in my mouth... Just trying to give people a heads up... If I would've known something like this might happen, I would've prepared DD.....

I do intend on sending disney a letter outlining all that we did, and what happened. I just don't want to see this happen to another family.

 

[cm8]

I'm back from my cruise on the Dream, promises were broken, and I'm hoping to spare a family crushed dreams as ours were. Our DD has aspergers, ocd, sensory issues... and more

Quick note: We booked a cruise on the Feb. 19th Dream... 4 nights. We booked this November of 2010. We spoke to our travel agent many times, concerning our DD now 13. She has a love of disney, has gone to sleep to the Disney DVD since she was 3. Her dream has been to go to the Oceaneers club and Lab. We were told that yes, she will be able to...

THEN this past year, rules changed and they became stricter with the age limits.... I again called my agent and called Disney themselves. I was told tht there will be no problem, they are noting our account... I was on the phone well over an hour with Disney to make sure....

February 19th came.... we got on the boat, it was gorgeous! Jenna was happy, literally jumping up and down... she was actually radiating... so happy, we went to the oceaneers club, lab... she was beaming.. it was gorgeous.... AND THEN... we went to sign her in... nope, we tried explaining, went thru 3, 4 people... and were told, sorry she cannot come in.... only during open house.. and only with you.. she cannot be alone. Jenna had a meltdown, right there and then... crying, down to the floor meltdown. I felt so little... I wanted off the boat right there and then.. Tried explaining, told them to look up our records...nope.

Later that night, Jenna receieved an invitation to come to the club during Open house the next day..... We went, and I asked does this mean she can come at any time? Is this what was promised? And they said no, it was open to anyone, and her parents have to be there... boom , another meltdown Why would you send this? Her answer.. to make her feel special... I tried once again explaining, I do this every day of the year, she doesn't fit in with her age group, kids her age do not talk or play with her.... I was turned away again.

The cruise director than wants to meet with us, an hour later we get a promise that they will work something out, they took down what jenna likes...

They gave her 2 hours for the 2 days at lab and club, but not when the kids were there, just during open house.. I felt very dirty, after overhearing them tell other parents... nope , take your child to the other room, we can't let him in till this child is gone.....

I have a very bad taste in my mouth and very sad at seeing my daughter's dream hurt. Thankfully, she is blind to alot of things... and it's me that's hurting and not her....

I hope this helps someone avoid this issue, I will not listen to any promises from Disney any longer... my eyes are opened

I hope you contact Disney cruise line and make them aware of what happened and what you would like to see come from what you experienced. I am sorry your "Dream" was washed away I feel even worst for your DD

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I'm sorry, I am not familiar with the cruise. Is the open house for anyone on the shiip and it is otherwise restricted to children?

 

[robin09]

I'm sorry, I am not familiar with the cruise. Is the open house for anyone on the shiip and it is otherwise restricted to children?

I wasn't familiar with open house either, it was our first cruise. It is open for anyone to come and visit and check it out. Any child must be with their parent.

 

[Mrs K]

I'm so sorry that happened, it really seems so unfair. I know it won't change your experience, but I hope you contact Disney. Your daughter shouldn't have been treated like that!

 

[disney david]

sorry it happened and ruin your vacation they should of known how upset you was and try to make it right. the captain should have come down and talk to you with the cruise director to at least try to make it better. I would call disney cruise line and let them know what happened so they can check into why it was not noted in your account.

 

[wdw4rfam]

I can relate sooo well, not with the cruise, but in general. I am so sorry your trip was ruined. We had a similar experience, one at resort, and one at Disney quest. I have learned that you can't count on someone's word over the phone. Can also relate to the age thing. My son has aspergers, and is 10, yet kids his age don't talk to or play with him. He desperately wants to go in the play area at the grocery store, and they won't let him, ( 9 and under), and he's way too honest . We've had many meltdowns. His social class, he is actually in the 6-7 room. Had a bad experience at cedar point also, because he wants to ride the kiddie rides, and they won't let him, so he literally rode 1 ride all day. I would be livid if I were you because you seemed to have it covered. I hope you follow up with this, it ruined your vacation, and you need to make them listen.

 

[dclfun]

I'm sorry, and I'm actually very surprised that this happened. There is usually not a problem with an older child wanting to go in the younger group as long as they physically and emotionally fit it- as in they can be in there independently and participate.

 

[AJKMOM]

From what I have read about cruises, they don't make exceptions to their age categories, that's why we can't go on one. My son is over 21, but thinks he's about 6, and there is no place for him in the kids area.

I am sorry people gave you the wrong answer, maybe you will at least get some money back. They should if you can prove they made up info just to get you to sign up for the cruise.

 

[livndisney]

I'm sorry, and I'm actually very surprised that this happened. There is usually not a problem with an older child wanting to go in the younger group as long as they physically and emotionally fit it- as in they can be in there independently and participate.

There has been a lot of talk on the Dis lately about how the rules(ages) would be strictly enforced. I have not read it all, but I guess something happened where they allowed an older person in with younger and there was a problem.

 

[stitch34]

Oh, so sorry this happened and had such a bad experience! Really am surprised they couldn't accommodate your daughter and let her in the club that was most appropriate for her needs and where she wanted to be.

We've been back and forth deciding over whether to cruise or not - have booked, cancelled, booked again, cancelled.
Son is almost 10 and autistic, can't talk, still not fully potty trained, so I am sure there is no way he would be able to go into any of the kid clubs. My girls, they'd enjoy themselves... but me solo on cruise with three kids... Keep thinking what in the world are me and son going to do on a cruise? Sit on deck and stare at the water or hang in our room?

I think it's a real shame you were told one thing and had certain expectations based on what you were assured would happen, just to get there and it be a huge let down.

 

[robin09]

Oh, so sorry this happened and had such a bad experience! Really am surprised they couldn't accommodate your daughter and let her in the club that was most appropriate for her needs and where she wanted to be.

We've been back and forth deciding over whether to cruise or not - have booked, cancelled, booked again, cancelled.
Son is almost 10 and autistic, can't talk, still not fully potty trained, so I am sure there is no way he would be able to go into any of the kid clubs. My girls, they'd enjoy themselves... but me solo on cruise with three kids... Keep thinking what in the world are me and son going to do on a cruise? Sit on deck and stare at the water or hang in our room?

I think it's a real shame you were told one thing and had certain expectations based on what you were assured would happen, just to get there and it be a huge let down.

There was alot to do even without going to the club. Unfortuanately this has been Jenna's dream for a long time. I had reassured her several times that she would be able to go to the Oceaneers, due to Disney's promise. Character appearances are frequent, pinochio, peter pan, hook and jack sparrow were all there, along with the princesses. Castaway cay was gorgeous. there are shows that your son may enjoy. There is sooo much to do without looking at the water. They play different movies alot of the time.. I have my list if you want, once I unpack...

I would do it again, I did rebook, but with different expectations. The food was good, sitting on my verandah with hubby watching the sun come up and room service bringing us coffee was wonderful...

 

[blondietink]

I have read on different threads about a company called Autism on the Seas, which coordinates activities with cruise companies for people with disabilities, adults and children alike. I believe they also have group cruises.

I have a 20 yo with Autism and a 22 yo with Down Syndrome, so I can relate. But we have had a fantastic experience on our Carnival cruises. they have treated our young men like kings. The age thing and kids club is a big issue with liability and all. All cruise lines are very strict about age limits.

 

[Mrsjvb]

I'm sorry, and I'm actually very surprised that this happened. There is usually not a problem with an older child wanting to go in the younger group as long as they physically and emotionally fit it- as in they can be in there independently and participate.

not any more. a few weeks ago there was an 'incident' regarding an older person with mental disabilities who stalked/harassed another guest. he was older,but mentally in the same age group as this girl was. he grew attached and would not leave her alone. it became so bad the girl apparently was unable to go anywhere without him following her. numerous requests by staff for the parents to handle things fell on deaf ears.

as a result Disney cracked down HARD on age limits and are no longer making exceptions for DD individuals.

 

[robin09]

not any more. a few weeks ago there was an 'incident' regarding an older person with mental disabilities who stalked/harassed another guest. he was older,but mentally in the same age group as this girl was. he grew attached and would not leave her alone. it became so bad the girl apparently was unable to go anywhere without him following her. numerous requests by staff for the parents to handle things fell on deaf ears.

as a result Disney cracked down HARD on age limits and are no longer making exceptions for DD individuals.

I'm so torn between understanding and not understanding.... Coming down hard with no exceptions, and breaking promises is not good.... If we went down without the thought that she could've gone in the rooms is one thing. But to be told that she will be able to, and then be turned away is totally another....

The harassment or stalking can happen at any age.... to just shut down the program to an older child who emotionally is a younger age can be cruel. There should be a happy medium.

We did book another cruise, but knowing that thos rooms will be off limits. As long as DD13 knows what to expect she does well, it'
s when a promise is broken, and her dream dashed that it hurts so badly.

 

[disney david]

I'm so torn between understanding and not understanding.... Coming down hard with no exceptions, and breaking promises is not good.... If we went down without the thought that she could've gone in the rooms is one thing. But to be told that she will be able to, and then be turned away is totally another....

The harassment or stalking can happen at any age.... to just shut down the program to an older child who emotionally is a younger age can be cruel. There should be a happy medium.

We did book another cruise, but knowing that thos rooms will be off limits. As long as DD13 knows what to expect she does well, it'
s when a promise is broken, and her dream dashed that it hurts so badly.

Sorry didn't not mean to sound like your kid would of done something wrong they should Have handle it better and let her in since they told you they would.

I understand what you staying they should take it case by case but Disney has a legal obligation to make sure every guest is safe. Yes it can happen at any age or for any reason a guest could become drunk and harras a women by tey don't stop serving achol. But when it come to kids they have to take extra steps to keep them safe. It sounds like the boat didn't let the land offices know to be strict and the Disney agent gave in and Said thing they should of to get your hopes up. The agent should of had you talk to a manager and let them make the call and if it yes ten it needs to put in you file and the ship should of been told about it so it didn't end up the way it did.

 

[Mrsjvb]

at the time you made your inquiries it was probably allowed. but once that incident occurred they had to make changes. the contract does state that they reserve the right to make changes at any time.

look at it from the victim's POV. I wanna say she was 13 who was stalked by an adult.. just because he was mentally 12 doesn't excuse the fact that he scared the crap out of this child and ruined her family's cruise by aggressively pursuing her.. to include unwanted physical advances.

you may think your daughter has the right to be with other people her social level.. but the other kids have the right be with kids their physical age. its is a liability issue and Disney has the obligation to protect their ENTIRE customer base.

 

[SueM in MN]

I'm very sorry this happened to your child. It's always hard when expectations are not met.

My understanding of those Clubs is that they are licensed as Day Care Centers; day care licenses do have age limits and can only care for kids within that range (I think those clubs are ages 3-10 years.)
They probably made some case by case exceptions before, and those exceptions may have still been made hen you asked. But, once here was a problem, they probably had to go back to strictly following the age limits or could put their day care license in jeopardy.

Glad to hear thT even though you/your daughter were disappointed, you were able to still enjoy the trip enough to go again - with different expectations. Hope hour net trips wonderful.