So while the kids have their in chicken. Mr. The King and I start to plan our escape.
We are veteran Disneyites.
And this will be the toughest planning challenge of our vacationing career.
When Mr. The King and I were on our Disneymoon, and I was baking my sweet baby PC in my belly, I showed Mr. The King my magic trick. I could navigate Disney World pretty well after countless childhood and teenage visits. We were ending or vacation and came up with a plan, we hit a few rides, got our picture taken with Mickey in Toon Town, hopped on the train that plopped us of at the entrance. We had sucked the Disney out of the day until the very last moment in the World
.
He was so proud of my tricky, spy like skills then. Well the student has surpassed the master and pretty much gone to the bad place. The man knows the hidey holes and secret passageways better than some cast members. One of my parents' gifts to him was to take him and I on a tour of the utilador. Very cool, but scary at the same time. The cast members had dropped all pretenses of being nice. No one was even saying thank you to each other. We hightailed it out of there and into the magical world above.
So Mr. The King and I want to escape the most magical place on earth. It felt weird, I gotta tell you. We love being in Disney. It was almost like having your favorite childhood teddy bear
grow teeth and crazy moving eyes and threatening you. It felt wrong. Like putting on your underwear backwards. Like biting into tin foil.
But sometimes you have to wear your undies backwards
, so we planned the unimaginable. We had to try and find the perfect window between Spectro Magic, the fireworks, and another Spectro Magic parade. As we gazed at my castle from Ray’s we came up with a plan. We are going to try and get out between the first Spectro magic and the fireworks.
This is a risky plan. Because Main Street is where everyone wants to be. Either they are trying to exit or guarding their personal viewing spot like a hungry momma bear protecting her cubs.
And all those people are in the way of my knife sucking Fudge.
As we pack up the kids and all of our equipment, I glace at the couple at the next table. They are munching on their food like a pair of third day commando zombies. Their little 2 ½ish year old girl is standing on her chair and leaning her huge, oversized toddler head over the wall toward the huge drop into Cinderella’s Lagoon (moat, stream, pond?). I am just about to reach for her when she pulls her self back. The parents never looked up from their meal. Scary
. Deep breath and we are off.
It is hard to describe the amount of people
(smilie representation). And the darkness that we encountered. There is the lowering of the lights to create the ambiance and enhanced viewing of parades and fireworks. Now, we haven’t watched a parade in a long time. We have real trouble sitting still at Disney and waiting the required hour to see some good sights. So, the light dimming usually signal “it’s on” for The Kings. We try to hit as many rides as we can when the lines are short or non existent.
So the ultimate plan is this
:
Ride what we can until Spectro parade number one is over, hit Main Street (get my fudge) and get whisked away in an empty monorail where the Dream Team will award us a free Night in my castle (ok that last part was only in my head. Is anyone else annoyed when they see the trip reports from the winners!! They are farting in my bed! Washing their jigglers in my light changing tub. It is not fair)
Well, we wander over to Fantasyland. Ahh the carousel is turning. it smells like a sweet night in Disney. The carousel line is out of control long. What can we do? Every line is a commitment we can not make without endangering our escape plan. Well PS decides she would like to see Mickey and Minnie’s house. We wade through the crowds. Aren’t these people supposed to be watching the parade!
We walk through Minnie’s. I love this Mouse’s taste. Better than any Trading spaces decorator. It was a cramalator. We are waiting our turn for the popcorn button and to take pictures in the chairs. Too much waiting. Our backwards underwear feels tighter; we have to get out of here. You can’t look in Minnie’s drawers without looking in Mickey’s. Turnabout is fair play. We slap on the rubber gloves and tell that Mouse to bend over. Hmm. That sentence may be too much for the disboards. But then again, we had to hear about Paris’s body cavity search on every news channel in existence. Still. It is our sweet Mouse
. I have gone too far.
A relentless hoper and positive thinker, I check the line for Mickey in the Judges tent. It is full up as well. Maybe it is just cast members ordered up to protect the Boss from our rubber gloves. Crap. I did it again.
We peek at the train. The people in line seem to be multiplying like a virus. And they look flatulent. And sweaty. No bypassing the Main Street stroll with a leisurely steam train ride. We begin the walk of shame. Leaving the Magic Kingdom. Usually our shameful, depressing walk is from Pop Century, our bags and purchases dragging down low with our spirits. But not today. We will drag our Jigglers from the Kingdom. We reach the back of my castle. Around the sneaky bridge to the left.
At the peak of the bridge, we see Spectro Magic!! Our timing is off!! There is no way we are getting any further than we are. We abandon the stroller (naked of course). And put the kids on our shoulders. (Finally swing set muscles is here when I need him.
) I glance around this edge of the parade crowd. It is awfully dark here. People are filling in the space behind us. It is unreasonably dark here. There is no dimmed light at all. Just darkness. The kids are enjoying the tail end of the parade, but something has caught my attention in the crowd, just a few feet from the Kings.
A woman begins screaming, another joins her. They are staggering through the crowd, right toward us. I am about to hand PS from my shoulders to Mr. The King’s arms, so I can help, figuring that they are injured or in distress. Then I notice that their arms are flailing. It looks like they are fighting. They are headed right for the Kings screaming and sobbing….
I start my morning with a fart
So funny! I agree on the Yankee Candle Alfredo scent....when we go this August we are sure to hit them up at least once before they close August 30. We will just squeak in. Thanks so much for making my days go by quickly....your TR is nice and long and that is just perfect! 
, in her sunglasses, driving quite a distance, through heavy traffic. When she finally gets to her destination, she flips down the mirror to check her hair. Good thing she did. She had a maxi pad stuck to the arm of her sunglasses the entire time.
I am working on my next chapter, but I am getting close to the end, which is just too sad. My next chapter is dedicated to you
being patient at all. We are nagging, yes nagging.
