A close friend gifted me with a Bible

[Magpie]

True true...now if they were reading a "S&M for beginners" book (I'm sure there is one)...well that is completely different.

I actually have a friend who could recommend a very good "S&M Beginners" book. She's not into it herself (as far as I know) but she has an extensive collection on the topic. She's also got many books on torture (apparently ineffective, doesn't work), the Holocaust, Star Trek, and Knitting. Her areas of investigation are... eclectic to say the least.

 

[L&Lfan]

I respect the Bible as the holy book for millions of people. What bothers me is that a "close" friend would give this to an obviously not interested person. I would assume that after many years they would know where a "close" friend stands on the topic of religion. So I have to believe there's some "hidden agenda", or else the gift giver is just clueless. Still, I would dispose of the book respectfully.

 

[sam_gordon]

Millons of people read that type of genre (starts with E..but as this is a family site won't say the rest) without actually wanting that type of lifestyle.

If people can read that genre (ANY genre) without actually wanting that type of lifestyle, can't they read the Bible without wanting that "type of lifestyle"?

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

I would keep it as I would keep any gift from a dear friend. If she has written in it I couldn't give it away. Maybe a guest room. You may have guests that like to have a bible in their drawer.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

If people can read that genre (ANY genre) without actually wanting that type of lifestyle, can't they read the Bible without wanting that "type of lifestyle"?

You can..but like I mentioned in my comment below the one quoting yours...a bible is a religous symbol. You don't give someone a crucifix and say "well I thought it was pretty so I thought you might appreciate it too". You don't give someone a barbie-like doll that is Mary complete with a baby bump when you could have easily given them just a plain 'ole barbie doll (my godparents gave me a Mary doll when I was younger).

There are just symbols out there that are religous. If someone is giving me a bible it's not like they were saying "hey this sounded right up your alley thought you might enjoy it" like they would if they gave me a paranormal romance. Sorry it's just not the same.

It doesn't mean personally I'm going to take offense to someone giving me a bible...but a close friend is in no way going to do that (as I already mentioned). They are going to already know it's not a type of gift I would enjoy. Now if someone were to give my atheist sister a bible yeah I'm pretty sure she would honestly be offended given that she's not shy about expressing her opinions, to close friends or not, on that matter.

And if it's about providing comfort to someone there are plenty of other books out there that are for that that do not have the religious connotation that the bible does.

 

[Magpie]

You can..but like I mentioned in my comment below the one quoting yours...a bible is a religous symbol. You don't give someone a crucifix and say "well I thought it was pretty so I thought you might appreciate it to". You don't give someone a barbie-like doll that is Mary complete with a baby bump when you could have easily given them just a plain 'ole' barbie doll (my godparents gave me a Mary doll when I was younger).

There are just symbols out there that are religous. If someone is giving me a bible it's not like they were saying "hey this sounded right up your alley thought you might enjoy it" like they would if they gave me a paranormal romance. Sorry it's just not the same.

It doesn't mean personally I'm going to take offense to someone giving me a bible...but a close friend is in no way going to do that (as I already mentioned). They are going to already know it's not a type of gift I would enjoy. Now if someone were to give my atheist sister a bible yeah I'm pretty sure she would honestly be offended given that she's not shy about expressing her opinions, to close friends or not, on that matter.

And if it's about providing comfort to someone there are plenty of other books out there that are for that that do not have the religious conotation that the bible does.

Okay, just for the record, I will TOTALLY give any crucifix a good home. And happily accept one as a gift.

I have inherited the largest collection of religious medals from my husband's side of the family, some of which date back to the late 1800's (or possibly earlier). As well as a bunch of rosaries and several crucifixes. They are just the neatest things. So pretty! We've had a great deal of fun learning about the various saints and symbolism, even if none of us are Catholic.

 

[smiths02]

If a good friend of many years suddenly have me a Bible I'd just ask them why. It wouldn't make sense.
It's really ridiculous that people here are pretending to not understand the difference between giving someone a random book and giving someone a religious book.

I agree that there is a difference, but if all the person does is give a Bible and not preach at you, then I would just say thanks and put it on a shelf somewhere or donate it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Okay, just for the record, I will TOTALLY give any crucifix a good home. And happily accept one as a gift.

I have inherited the largest collection of religious medals from my husband's side of the family, some of which date back to the late 1800's (or possibly earlier). As well as a bunch of rosaries and several crucifixes. They are just the neatest things. So pretty! We've had a great deal of fun learning about the various saints and symbolism, even if none of us are Catholic.

Well now I understand that. My point was it still is a religous symbol and sure not everyone is going to take it in a deeper meaning. And I get the whole history aspect of your husband's family. I would totally be keeping that I mean you can't replace something like that. My best friend actually did that with her husband's family though I believe the crucifix was only something like 60 years old but it was her husband's grandmother's. It didn't change the fact that it is a religious symbol. She just didn't want it to be thrown away (which they were going to do that).

 

[eeyoreandtink]

If someone has known me for that long they would know without a doubt exactly how I would take it. Me hurting would not suddenly change my view. (For the record, I have read it)

Fair enough, that's why I said the OP would be in the best position to understand their friend's intent, and that it might not be to convert them. It might change things for them.

 

[Domo]

Over here, Bibles are often symbolic gifts such as a crucifix or silver whistle may be. It's not intended as an active thing, just something to appreciate.

 

[wilkeliza]

If someone I was good friends with gave me a bible I'd probably say thank you and send it to storage and fume about it to other close friends. Mostly because I personally would take it as them possibly trying to convert me back. Anyone who is a close friends knows I have several bibles from having been very active in my church until I was in my early 20s and went through a period of self discovery and more recently a conversion. Now the first half of the bible would be useful to me as it is the same exact book but if someone wanted to buy me a religious book I would hope a good friend would know to get the Torah or any other of the many Jewish books that are out there.

A wonderful example was my friend who wanted to get me a gift after my conversion. She got me a Jewish cookbook made from a collection of old receipts from other people's grandmas. On the other end I had a family member send me a Christmas card and very heavily underlined Christ in Christmas and wrote in he is the only reason for the season. Again I accepted the card and put it up with all the rest but it did come off as a big F you to my beliefs especially since Hanukkah was on the same day as Christmas this year.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

Plus, it's a darn good story. Lots of blood, gore, mayhem...

(I have several shelves dedicated to "Religion" - they're in the same bookcase as "Mythology", "Philosophy" and "Poetry".)

Epic of Gilgamesh is a great story too, with a lot of overlap. I certainly don't believe in their Gods, but appreciate the story.

 

[Magpie]

Epic of Gilgamesh is a great story too, with a lot of overlap. I certainly don't believe in their Gods, but appreciate the story.

Isn't it?? I have a copy and I even once got to hear a portion of a live reading of it.

I also really like Hesiod (speaking of Gods I don't worship).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Epic of Gilgamesh is a great story too, with a lot of overlap. I certainly don't believe in their Gods, but appreciate the story.

To be fair though that story is also read in schools. I read it as part of Western Civ and Intro to Philosophy class in college. I'm fairly certain I read it in high school but can't remember exactly.

 

[smiths02]

If someone I was good friends with gave me a bible I'd probably say thank you and send it to storage and fume about it to other close friends. Mostly because I personally would take it as them possibly trying to convert me back. Anyone who is a close friends knows I have several bibles form having been very active in my church until I was in my early 20s and went through a period of self discovery and just recently conversion. Now the first half of the bible would be useful to me as it is the same exact book but if someone wanted to buy me a religious book I would hope a good friend would know to get the Torah or any other of the many Jewish books that are out there.

A wonderful example was my friend who wanted to get me a gift after my conversion. She got me a Jewish cookbook made from a collection of old receipts from other people's grandmas. On the other end I had a family member send me a Christmas card and very heavily underlined Christ in Christmas and wrote in he is the only reason for the season. Again I accepted the card and put it up with all the rest but it did come off as a big F you to my beliefs especially since Hanukkah was on the same day as Christmas this year.

I think it is a good point that it matters what OPs religion is and what OP has told this close friend.
We don't know if OP strongly identifies as atheist, Jewish, Buddhist, etc. and has communicated this with the friend.
They've known each other a long time. Maybe OP used to go to church or goes with family on major holidays or something, but now has no interest? Maybe the friend has just gone through something and want to share it? I know people who give advice books to people, a new diet, money advice, etc. because it worked for them. Yes, I still think it is a little misguided and off-putting, but I wouldn't think it was a big F you necessarily.

Now, if it is like your case wilkeliza, that is obviously offensive.

 

[ariel71]

If people can read that genre (ANY genre) without actually wanting that type of lifestyle, can't they read the Bible without wanting that "type of lifestyle"?

Not for me. IMO, the Bible and many other religious texts are used as bases for some abhorrent practices and have been a primary source of conflict in the world for millenia. They do nothing except make me extremely angry, and I have no desire whatsoever to read them. Being raised Catholic and having a World Cultures class in college were more than enough exposure for me. If there's any particular aspect I have a question about, I can google it.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

To be fair though that story is also read in schools. I read it as part of Western Civ and Intro to Philosophy class in college. I'm fairly certain I read it in high school but can't remember exactly.

We read the bible as lit in the same class as Gilgamesh, parts of the Koran, various Bhuddist texts, and Some Shinto writings, and several western philosophers like Marx and Kafka. I am sure there were others I don't remember.

 

[robinb]

I am not interested in reading it so is there a nice way to let her know that?

There is no "nice" way to let your close friend of 40 years that they gave you a religious gift that does not interest you. That being said, I don't think it's "nice" for your close friend of 40 years to give you a religious gift that she should know you will not appreciate.

 

[rastahomie]

Option 1: Tuck it away somewhere but bring it out (and display it prominently) when she comes to visit, like you do with that ugly tablecloth your grandma gave you.

Option 2: Send it to Washington. There are several people there who claim to be all about it but have clearly never read it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, rastahomie....
I LOVED your 'like the ugly tablecloth your grandma gave you"!!!!!!
To funny!!!!

But, seriously...
A political AND a religious 'dig' in one sentence...
Really... Seriously?????

Gotta send you props, though. Genius... Very talented.