A classmate cut DD's shirt

[patsal]

I'm not sure how old your DD is or what kind of school setting she is in, but when my DS was in Middle School things like this happened to him a lot. Way too much. For some reason he was the target of bullies for his entire MS career. It took a ton of help form me, his Counselor and a very pricey therapist to get to the bottom of things. Now he is in HS and has no problems for the most part, but none that he can't handle on his own. Talk to your daughter, let her know you are going to talk to the teacher and principal. BTW my son was very quiet and never said anything while kids were cutting his hair, jabbing him with pencils--he even had one totally sticking out of his leg and I had to take him to the DR. afterward. My son was not the little one of the bunch either--he was the tallest and had pretty much completed puberty in MS. He stuck out like a sore thumb as being obviously larger and for some reason the kids picked him to pick on. Yup he could have hurt them if he retaliated and that was one reason he didn't --until near the end of his sessions a kid did something to him in class and he went all "Ralphy" on him--A Christmas Story. He's never had a problem since he began to stand up for himself.
If your daughter is younger than she may not realize the difference between tattling and getting much needed help. I'm sure you have expalined that it is tattling when it really doesn't matter, but it is important ot tell if the person can get hurt or hurt someone else as a result of what they are doing.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would talk to the teacher. I would show her the shirt and tell her what your dd told you. Then I would let her do some investigating to find out what happened. I am sure that there aren't too many teachers out there who want an Edward Scissorhands on the loose in their room. Your dd could have been hurt even if they are safety scissors. I can also understand her sitting there and not saying anything. I also don't think that scissor boy needs therapy neccesarily. Kids do stupid things. Nobody knows why. Heck adults do stupid things! How many times has a stranger at the grocery store said something insulting to you and you just stood there instead of answering? She may have just been shocked that someone did something like that to her and embarrased to tell the teacher. I would call the teacher immediately. JMHO.

 

[laurie31]

I know I'll probably be flamed all over for this, but I'll give my experience to add a new possibility to the list.

I had a 1st grader in my class once whose pants were cut several times "by a big boy in the bathroom". She was a very sweet, usually very honest, little girl. Her pants were cut right where they bunch up as you sit down. It would be pretty hard for someone who wasn't wearing them to cut them in that pattern. This happened right as we were getting ready for the end of the day so she put her coat on and went home without me seeing her.

I think she did it herself, but she did not confess. The parent thought it was "the big boy". I could be wrong. The parent could be wrong. We'll never know. We treated it as a bullying incident. The "culprit" was never found, the girl chose a friend to accompany her to the restroom until she was comfortable going by herself, and the incident was forgotten. I think some day she'll confess her little first grade secret.

I would definately talk to the teacher. However, I would keep in mind that exploring with scissors is not unusual at that age and consider the possibility that she might have done it herself and is now scared to death that she'll be in trouble. Fabricating a story to save face is something young children do sometimes. Looking at where the scissor marks are should give you a clue whether this could be the issue.

No flames from me. My dd also made up a story about how her pants were cut... It's a kid thing. She knew it was wrong, but she did it anyway. Because she was bored and she liked the way it felt. She said she "fell on the playground." Um...nope, no way. Try again

Now if the OP's dd is older and this is bullying and not just kids playing with scissors, then that's a whole different ball of wax.

 

[PaulaSue]

Yesterday when dd came home from school,I noticed that there were 4 or 5 cuts made to her shirt.She told me that a boy in her class had done it.She told me that she didn't want to "tattle" on him(I am always telling her not to such a tattler with her younger sis)I explained to her that this boy took scissors to her and could've really hurt her.He also destroyed a brand new shirt.Should I take the shirt in and talk to her teacher?

Yes and I would demand to talk to the parnets after the teacher, etc...

 

[lulugirl]

I think this requires further investigation.
It could be harmless kid "silliness" or it could very well be a bullying instance.

 

[PiRSquared]

I had a similar incident happen to my son. He was in first grade. I was teaching at a local private high school when I get a call from the Vice Principal. The first thing she said was, "Everything is okay, but...." A girl walked up to him and cut the sleeve of his shirt. The teacher either saw it or DS told her (I can't remember it is 7 years ago now). She immediately sent the situation to the office to get resolved. The sad thing was that he was wearing a Tommy Hilfiger shirt that my MIL had bought him and spent a lot of money on. The school had me find out the price of a similar shirt and made the family of the little girl pay. I felt that it was handled appropriately, but we thought it weird that DS would just let her cut. I guess he was preoccupied with his own "creation" and didn't see her cutting his sleeve (long) until it was done.

 

[2princesscuties]

Hi all-thank you so much for all your advice!Between getting ready for disney this coming thurs,the stomach flu,and everything else I have no brain cells left Well any way my DD is 6 inthe first grade.The classmate that did this sounds like a troubled child.Last year he went into the boys room ,had a BM and then smeared it over the walls!I hear from the other parents in the schoolyard that his parents are always visiting the principal's office.Now I am not saying that DD is innocent in all this,but she is extremely,painfully shy.She did tell him to stop and he did,but she said she was scared to tell teacher.DD's friend also said that she told him to stop as well.She does want me to talk to her teacher.The shirt she was wearing a Cinderella type shirt.It had a pic of the pumpkin carriage going thru the woods.This was the first time she wore it,and it was her new favorite shirt!BTW-the cuts were at the bottom of the shirt going upward as if it were being fringed.

 

[patsal]

Hi all-thank you so much for all your advice!Between getting ready for disney this coming thurs,the stomach flu,and everything else I have no brain cells left Well any way my DD is 6 inthe first grade.The classmate that did this sounds like a troubled child.Last year he went into the boys room ,had a BM and then smeared it over the walls!I hear from the other parents in the schoolyard that his parents are always visiting the principal's office.Now I am not saying that DD is innocent in all this,but she is extremely,painfully shy.She did tell him to stop and he did,but she said she was scared to tell teacher.DD's friend also said that she told him to stop as well.She does want me to talk to her teacher.The shirt she was wearing a Cinderella type shirt.It had a pic of the pumpkin carriage going thru the woods.This was the first time she wore it,and it was her new favorite shirt!BTW-the cuts were at the bottom of the shirt going upward as if it were being fringed.

Ok, that puts a whole new spin on it. Sounds like the boy who did this to her has a very troubled mind. I would make a big deal out of it because he does need a psych eval. ( I am a teacher and any student who has a pattern of deviant behavior should be recommended for one for proper placement) You'll be doing the child a favor for speaking out so that her receives the help he needs and is not a harm to himself or others. I am sorry about your DD's new favorite shirt.

 

[RitaZ.]

BTW-the cuts were at the bottom of the shirt going upward as if it were being fringed.

I think there may be more to this story. I would talk to the teacher. Telling your DD that you will talk to the teacher about what may have happened may be all that's needed to get the entire story.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

and consider the possibility that she might have done it herself and is now scared to death that she'll be in trouble.

not saying this is what happened but I have a son who was infamous for cutting his clothes with his own scissors, and then decorating them with paint and markers --- and then blaming it on anybody who was around him that he could think to blame.


In fact, he's now a Junior in High School and the stinking kid will still come home with little pictures, smiley faces, and stick men drawn all over his blue jeans and sneakers with his ink pen.

 

[Mermaid02]

No flames from me. My dd also made up a story about how her pants were cut... It's a kid thing. She knew it was wrong, but she did it anyway. Because she was bored and she liked the way it felt. She said she "fell on the playground." Um...nope, no way. Try again

Now if the OP's dd is older and this is bullying and not just kids playing with scissors, then that's a whole different ball of wax.

My son has also cut his own clothes.... I told him we couldnt' afford to keep replacing them..... He also will play with a rip and make it much worse than it starts out.

 

[pfishgirl]

I would talk to the teacher and explained what happened. At least let the teacher be aware of it. Who knows what else he may try to cut. True it was just a shirt but What if next time it's her Hair ?

 

[WDW1st-timers]

I would talk to the teacher and explained what happened. At least let the teacher be aware of it. Who knows what else he may try to cut. True it was just a shirt but What if next time it's her Hair ?

That is so true. I totally agree that the teacher needs to be aware of the incident.

 

[laurie31]

With the new information from the OP, I'm inclined to believe that her daughter is not making up a story to cover what she did herself.

TIme for that parent/teacher conference

And have fun at Disney!!!

 

[tkd lisa]

Something very similar happened to my DD when she was in first grade. The boy behind her cut several slits in her jacket. It was hanging on the back of the chair, so she didn't feel it.

The teacher saw the boy do it, and she wrote me a note. I don't know what (if anything) was done to the boy, but I was out the cost of a nice new Land's End jacket. It definitely happens, and I'd definitely talk to the teacher. They need to know when dangerous things occur in their class.