A classmate cut DD's shirt

[2princesscuties]

Yesterday when dd came home from school,I noticed that there were 4 or 5 cuts made to her shirt.She told me that a boy in her class had done it.She told me that she didn't want to "tattle" on him(I am always telling her not to such a tattler with her younger sis)I explained to her that this boy took scissors to her and could've really hurt her.He also destroyed a brand new shirt.Should I take the shirt in and talk to her teacher?

 

[Alicnwondrln]

what does your daughter want you to do?
is she gonna freak if you go to the school?
did the boy say sorry to her, did she say something when it happened?

 

[FayeW]

Of course you should! He willfully damaged someone else's property and it has to be addressed both with the teacher and his parents.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

How old is she?

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Of course you should! He willfully damaged someone else's property and it has to be addressed both with the teacher and his parents.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

Yikes. The teacher definitely needs to be made aware of this situation.

 

[CEDmom]

I think you should ask your DD whether she wants to talk to her teacher herself or have you do it. I don't think you should just drop the issue because a kid who does something like that needs some guidance.

 

[laurie31]

did the boy say sorry to her, did she say something when it happened?

Umm...sorry I cut your shirt five times? How was that an accident?

It sounds like she was too scared to say anything.

And there's nothing the OP's dd could have done (and I'm not implying she did ANYTHING..but I mean if they were arguing or something first) that would warrant him to destroy the clothes she is wearing! Yikes!

Yes, I'd be headed in to meet with the teacher, carrying the evidence. I believe I'd want the boy to replace the shirt at the very least.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

Umm...sorry I cut your shirt five times? How was that an accident?

It sounds like she was too scared to say anything.

And there's nothing the OP's dd could have done (and I'm not implying she did ANYTHING..but I mean if they were arguing or something first) that would warrant him to destroy the clothes she is wearing! Yikes!

Yes, I'd be headed in to meet with the teacher, carrying the evidence. I believe I'd want the boy to replace the shirt at the very least.

I completely agree.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

Umm...sorry I cut your shirt five times? How was that an accident?

It sounds like she was too scared to say anything.

And there's nothing the OP's dd could have done (and I'm not implying she did ANYTHING..but I mean if they were arguing or something first) that would warrant him to destroy the clothes she is wearing! Yikes!

Yes, I'd be headed in to meet with the teacher, carrying the evidence. I believe I'd want the boy to replace the shirt at the very least.

well you never knwo after it happened maybe the DD said something or gave him and a look and he said sorry so she dropped it

If my son did that to someone I would want to know

 

[sPaRkLeSpAz]

Well, I think if you do go into the school, you should let your DD know what your doing.. I know if my mom ever did that to me- without me knowing- I would be mortified.. Good luck!

 

[debbiedoo]

Of course you should! He willfully damaged someone else's property and it has to be addressed both with the teacher and his parents.

definitely

 

[jbmom]

Of course you should! He willfully damaged someone else's property and it has to be addressed both with the teacher and his parents.

 

[azgal81]

I would let the teacher know right away. For the safety of your daughter and others in the class. That boy might have hurt her whether it was an accident or not the teacher needs to know so it does not happen again.

 

[laurie31]

well you never know after it happened maybe the DD said something or gave him and a look and he said sorry so she dropped it

Even if he apologized afterwards...he did something which was very dangerous. He didn't just call her a name or pull her hair (which would have also been bad...but not dangerous) Unless they were those blunt-tipped safety scissors, he could have easily cut HER along with her shirt! And he did it FIVE times. It wasn't like he got mad (or whatever) and cut it once and then regretted his burst of anger. I don't buy that doing something willfully destructive, not once, but over and over, can be brushed away with a "oops, sorry I cut your shirt FIVE TIMES."

Destroying her property is bad enough, but doing it while she was wearing it...raises the freak-out bar for me. If he'd cut her backpack or something, I'd still be mad, and might still expect it to be replaced, but the fact that a child could have been harmed (and someone else could be harmed in the future) is why I would bring it to the teacher's attention. She needs to keep a careful eye out (I know the teacher can't watch every child every second - but if she knows there's a problem, them she can take steps to prevent a recurrence).

By the way, I don't mean to imply the boy is "bad." He might have just been bored and started snipping away. I know my dd did this to her own pants once! Believe me, we had a very serious heart-to-heart about the cost of clothes and what you can and cannot cut with scissors!

 

[jrmasm]

Am I understanding correctly....your daughter sat while a boy cut her shirt 5 times and never said a word???

 

[Hannathy]

Am I understanding correctly....your daughter sat while a boy cut her shirt 5 times and never said a word???

Yes that amazes me also... I'm wondering if your DD doesn't want you to say something because she isn't as innocent in this as she is leading you to believe.

 

[laurie31]

That's why I made the statement that it doesn't matter what she might have done to provoke the boy. Again, she may have done NOTHING, but I can imgaine my own dd doing something to provoke it...however, nothing would justify cutting the clothes she is wearing.

I can also imagine my younger dd sitting there and not saying a word. She would be mortified to be considered a "tattler" (although it sure doesn't bother her at home! ) I can also imagine my dd being a willing participant. She's the one who cut her pants, because she liked the way the material felt as it cut...so it might not have been done in anger at all.

 

[jrmasm]

Yes that amazes me also... I'm wondering if your DD doesn't want you to say something because she isn't as innocent in this as she is leading you to believe.

I was actually wondering if she has such passive personality that something really, really bad could happen to her because she wouldn't say anything.

 

[disykat]

I know I'll probably be flamed all over for this, but I'll give my experience to add a new possibility to the list.

I had a 1st grader in my class once whose pants were cut several times "by a big boy in the bathroom". She was a very sweet, usually very honest, little girl. Her pants were cut right where they bunch up as you sit down. It would be pretty hard for someone who wasn't wearing them to cut them in that pattern. This happened right as we were getting ready for the end of the day so she put her coat on and went home without me seeing her.

I think she did it herself, but she did not confess. The parent thought it was "the big boy". I could be wrong. The parent could be wrong. We'll never know. We treated it as a bullying incident. The "culprit" was never found, the girl chose a friend to accompany her to the restroom until she was comfortable going by herself, and the incident was forgotten. I think some day she'll confess her little first grade secret.

I would definately talk to the teacher. However, I would keep in mind that exploring with scissors is not unusual at that age and consider the possibility that she might have done it herself and is now scared to death that she'll be in trouble. Fabricating a story to save face is something young children do sometimes. Looking at where the scissor marks are should give you a clue whether this could be the issue.