A child's anxiety question for parents... updated.

[zakatak]

My dd(5) has been having a really hard time with computer lab. As a kindergartener, she has it once every 6 day cycle, A-F days, she has it on "B" day. Now, she never mentioned a word about it until about 3 weeks ago, at that point saying she didn't like it. Then, the following week, she started crying hysterically the night before "B" day. She begged me to come in to see the horrific "computer lab". So I did.

She was fine for most of the time, then when they were to practice "Kingergarten Jumpstart" she FREAKED. Started hyperventilating, crying, shaking, etc... The lab assistant (an adult) came by and said, "She does that at this point". HUH??? And NOBODY EVER TOLD ME????? MAN! So, I helped her through it, the lab assistant walked away to help the other 24 kids... and we practiced it at home. She seemed fine and was able to do it with ease at home.

However she is still freaked out about computer lab. She has been having nightmares nightly for the last two weeks, she is afraid we are going to leave her (never has before!) in stores and such, and cries every night before bed because "all she can think about is computer lab". Last night she got into a HUGE screaming match with everyone in the house because she swore that today was "D" day, not "B" day since Sat/Sun count as B and C day. We tried to calmly explain to her but she kept yelling and crying that "IT WASN'T B DAY!"... When she realized it was, she begged me to come in again.

I tried to get in there today, but couldn't get a sitter and couldn't bring her little sister into class (too disruptive to everyone else). I did call the school counselor and explained it all on her voice mail. I'm waiting to hear back from her to see what she thinks. I just hope they don't just "pooh pooh" it because it is really effecting her daily home life.

Any ideas? My only idea would be for her to sit out of regular computer lab and work one-on-one with the counselor at the computer after school a few days so she can SEE the reaction. Is this an unreasonable request?

Karen

UPDATE: I just talked with the school counselor. She talked with her teacher and went up to the computer lab. Her K teacher said that my dd shows anxiety when something is harder than she thought it would be. Both the computer teachers told her about the freaking out and crying. However, she did NOT do it today. Figures, lol. So, the counselors basic advice, ready for this?...

She (my dd) has to deal with computers all through elementary school so, she "hates to say this, but" she has to learn to suck it up. IF her anxiety spreads to anywhere else in school (ignoring the whole HOME ISSUE), then she will meet with my dd and see what is going on, otherwise I have to DOWNPLAY the whole issue and teach her how to deepbreath. Seriously. Oye... OK, then... Nothing like trying to work on something HERE, without being allowed THERE (she recommends NOT going into computer lab with her).

 

[piglet too]

Is she like this for only that program? Do they use differant things on the computers that she is fine for or is it like this for all the computer stuff? How is she at home? Are the computers differant at school? All I can come up with is either she is scared of the Jumpstart program or maybe the computers at school are louder and therefor scarier. Can she tell you why she thinks it is such a scary place? I am sorry that she is going through this and I hope that the school counselor can come up with some ideas for you.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

What is Kindergarten Jumpstart?? Is it hard? Is it timed?

Poor baby.

 

[zakatak]

It's only the Jumpstart program. It is timed, but she has never "timed out" as far as I know. She can do it here, with some nervousness, but eventually she aces it (at home). At school they use headsets, so I don't think they are too loud?? but I never checked. The computer at school is very similar to our home computer which she uses often (Barbie.com).

Thanks for helping me figure this out...

Karen

 

[tkd lisa]

First of all, hugs to you. I know how difficult kid's anxieties can be from having a child with many of them!

Focusing on the positive things, since your school has a counselor, they should get involved right away. Counselor's ought to be able to get to the bottom of the issue quickly if it's something simple. Since she can do this program at home, it's a little strange sounding. Coupled with the "unfeeling" attitude of the lab person, it makes me wonder if something happened in one of the labs. Again, the counselor should be able to help out with this.

I think it's perfectly reasonable that the school monitor your child given this issue even if you can't get there to watch the computer lab. If your child is that upset, someone ought to be helping her out, and at least letting you know that it's a concern.

Finally, if you can't get to the bottom of the cause, there should be no reason that your child can't be excused from the computer lab. I know of no requirement for computer lab in kindergarten. Just be glad it's not something required that's causing the crisis (like PE, my DD's personal anxiety earlier this year). Best of luck!

 

[mom2boys]

Did she have a bad experience in the computer lab at some time? I would ask the teacher/lab asst. what triggered her first outburst. Had she ever used computer/Jumpstart before the computer lab?

 

[DawnCt]

I think one of the things I would avoid is going with her to school on those days. She might enjoy having you there so much that it could reinforce the anxiety. (Secondary gains). Perhaps she is not ready for that situation and needs to be removed from it for a while. I wouldn't have the teacher offer her something more enjoyable, and in fact, I would have her sit quietly doing nothing. She may come to the conclusion that it is more enjoyable to do the program than to sit and do absolutely nothing and get no attention for it.

 

[peg2001]

Your DD should be excused from participating. Let us know how it goes.

Peggy

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Has she ever shown any anxiety toward performance/timed things before?

Perhaps do a little investigative work and see if it is a general anxiety or just this computer lab, (the timed portion).

If it is a fear of failing the timed lab perhaps figure out how to show her that failing sometimes happens and have her see that it is not the end of all things. Kind of like conquering the fear of the unknown.

I don't know how you should go about it but I hope you get it straightened out soon.

 

[zakatak]

Update in the original post. I don't know what to think now...

 

[peg2001]

Your baby is only 5, way too early to be forced to "suck it up" when she is obviously so distressed. Do what YOU think is best for her. If it were me, I would continue to work with her on the computer at home and request (read: DEMAND) that she be excused from the computer lab at school until these anxiety issues are resolved.

Good luck. Just remember, she is YOUR child.

Peggy

 

[luv2nascar]

It kind of freaked me out reading your post
My DD had the Kindergarden Jumpstart at home and freaked out
She couldn't use it so we put in the desk drawer in her room (her computer is there also)

She couldn't sleep at night. Why the Jumpstart is scaring her. It's put away in the drawer. No mommy please take it out of my room throw it away - crying etc. She was darn near hysterical.
I took it away and hid it in my room. She thinks we threw it out.
This was 3 years ago. She hasn't seen it since.

I will ask her why if she remembers. I think she said the music scared her. I didn't find it scary at all??

Good luck.

 

[Cindy B]

It may be because Jumpstart Kindergarten is performance based.

There are timed games, and such, but it is very encouraging. Even if the student misses, the characters will say.. .hey try again.. or somthing like that.. no "YOU LOSE" buzzer sound or something like taht. The tasks do get more challenging after the studnet masters the first tasks.

The only thing I can think of is the report card feature on that software. There is a report card you can press and it will tell you what thier grade is.. its not a letter grade, but more of a bar graph or cicrle graph... (cant remember which one it is ). Maybe the report card part makes her anxious.

I agree that the mother being there is a secondary gain.