A camera or my marriage? You decide!

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

DH has decided that he wants a dSLR camera. We have 2 regular digital cameras. They are fine and dandy. Before we got them we used disposable cameras. You can see how this is NOT an area of expertise for me. Now we are getting to the point of having screaming fights over whether or not DH can purchase this camera. Tell me your thoughts.

DH is NOT a photographer, it is not even his hobby. 20 years ago he bought a Canon 35mm. For the first 13 years of our marriage a friend of his had it, tossed in the back of a storage unit. DH dragged it out and had it reconditioned before our October '05 trip. Many of the photos have a big red line down the center, which I have been told is a "light leak" in the camera seals. He doesn't have a flash for that camera, and none of the photos he took with it are any better than the ones from the disposable cameras!

We have a Canon A520 that I bought 2 years ago. It is a fine camera and neither one of us has any clue how to use the features.
DH recently won another digital camera in a sales contest at work that he also does not know how to use the features.
DH is not computer literate and does not know how to use any of the "photo editing" stuff on our computer (none of it is fancy).

WHY does DH need a dSLR camera? Why would he be a photo wizard with a dSLR when he refuses to learn to use the more basic cameras we own? I think it would be a gigantic waste of money, and I think he would be bored and/or frustrated LONG before he figured out how to use it properly. (You should know we have a metal detector in our closet that he HAD to have a couple of years ago. It was expensive. He has used it less than 5 times and now he doesn't want to use it anymore because all he managed to find were aluminum pull tabs.)

So let's hear it! You all know far better than I whether this is a purchase that makes sense!

 

[polkadotladybug]

I don't know - I am quiet about my husband's indulgences (musical instruments - banjo, guitar, mandolin, banjolin - whatever he's into at the moment) and I expect (and get) that same respect with my purchases - now I'm not a fancy gal and I don't carry a designer purse, etc - but I do like to take photos and be online - so when I wanted a laptop and a new camera - I was indulged. I don't ask for much - I do say that technically both of MY items are "for the family" since who the heck am I taking photos of (and who else would take the photos if I didn't!)...but I'm logical like that ... LOL!

But that said - I would consider a "bridge camera" - that you and your dh can actually learn to use. I have the Canon s3 and it's a great camera if you don't want a dslr (or the expenses of the additional paraphernalia that goes with it) - and I think it's a fantastic purchase.

I'd make it a point for YOU to learn how to use it - good photography skills are really priceless.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Part of the problem is that I am not interested in photography at all. I don't want another camera. I bought the digital because it was so hard to fly back and forth to WDW with a bag full of disposable cameras, and I was worried that the film would get ruined.

I am comfortable using the digital to take pics at WDW, and I can load the pics into the computer and use the memory cards and so forth, but I don't WANT to take up photography as a hobby. Our DS is 11 so it isn't like he is a baby and we'll be taking tons of pics of him as he reaches his milestones.

I just feel like a dSLR camera will be the next purchase that sits in the closet, and every time I look at it I will seethe about other ways we could have used that money.

 

[Master Mason]

I think the first concideration should be could you afford it, if your going to miss a payment, or as far as I am concerned if you need to finance it, you shouldn't buy it.

Beyond that, I would just say that a marriage is supposed to be a give and take, how many things do you have, that your DH thinks was a total waste, and may or may not have said anything about it because it made you happy.

The other question I would have is why he wants it?? You say your son is 11, if he is going to be playing sports you'll quickly find out that a P&S even a good one like the S3 will not keep up with the fast pace of teenage sporting events.

Also, dSLR's tend to hold their value short term pretty well, you might lose 5-10% if you had to sell it in a couple of months, so maybe tell him he can get it, but if he doesn't use it you will sell in 3 months time....

Just my 2 cents

 

[mabas9395]

Speaking as a man, this falls under the category of "What women REALLY need to know about men". Not sure if its number one or not, but it is definitely in the top five. Here it goes: Men Love Toys!!!!! Its that simple. Its not just your DH, its all men. The toys may be different, but the love is the same.

But here is the tricky part, sometimes our love for toys crosses over into something we actually like to do, but that is not required. For example, I have a lot of wood working tools in my shop. You couldn't really call me a wood worker (because I haven't really built anything fancy, just nick-nacks and sawdust), but every time I go to Sears I'm checking out what toys I can add to my collection. Its the same way when I go into a camera shop, but at least there the purchase is justified because I do take a ton of photos and actually use all the gadgets I get. But whether I'll use it a toy a lot (a new 70-200 f/2.8 lens) or not use it very much (a new 33 gallon 2hp vertical air compressor) its just fun to get new toys.

Women are not required to understand it, just accept it.

 

[Disney*Dreamer]

If he doesn't want to take the time to figure out a simple point and shoot, then I agree, it is a huge waste of money. DSLR's or any SLR's are very complicated and not at all user friendly if you do not know what you are doing. I would suggest that he learn how to use the ones he has, as they are fine for someone who wants snapshots. Good Luck.

 

[jann1033]

i'm wondering if he has no knowledge of photography why he had a slr? maybe he just got out of the hobby due to time, not having his camera etc? maybe like me he would like to take it up again?

just glad my hub is understanding of my hobby. i'm not interested in some of his hobbies ( ie guitar) but i figure, he is so why does it matter if i am or not

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Master Mason - Right now DS doesn't play sports - he is more of an artsy guy. He draws and takes theater classes. He MIGHT take up baseball, but he isn't sure. And we wouldn't be able to purchase the camera with cash.

Disney*Dreamer - That is precisely what I think.

Jann1033 - He bought that camera in high school (or maybe his parents bought it for him). I don't know why, and I don't know what he took pictures of. I didn't know him then, but he doesn't have any albums of photos that he took.

I don't own ANYTHING that cost $600-$800 other than my CAR. DH might think some of my purchases are frivolous, but they aren't purchases of this magnitude! I am not opposed to the camera so much as the PRICE. If I felt like DH was going to devote the time and effort to the hobby that it would take to justify this purchase then I wouldn't have an issue with it. I have an issue because he likes to buy things and then he loses interest. Reselling the camera wouldn't be an option because he would keep promising to use it, and it would keep sitting there.

 

[DVC Jen]

Maybe it isn't so much a camera issue as something else? Have you tried to calmly talk to him and see why he wants a dSLR?

I used to do photography in high school as well - didn't think I would ever really get back into it - went to get a new digital because the pns we had died - and ended up with a canon XTi. 7 months later I have two camera bodies, 5 lenses and loving every second of it.

I am not saying it is the right choice for you or for him. I personally don't think it really sounds like a camera issue to me.

But then again - what do I know - and it really isn't any of my business so I am gonna stop talking/typing and go sit in my corner.

 

[KrazyPete]

Edit: I should have read the whole thread. I think Jen said it with more tact.

 

[KarenAylwood]

I do understand the whole "indulge him and he'll indulge you" etc that mabas9395 mentioned, but only to a point. I know that DBF will eventually be begging me to buy a kayak 5 years down the road once we're married and have money. Or a good road bike, or an expensive fishing pole. And I'm going to be pushing for clothes, a dSLR ( ) and whatever other toys I decide I want.

But I think that there needs to be an agreement on why the "toy" is being bought when it's something that costs so much. I completely understand being less than thrilled about this "need" when he's never really shown an interest in photography.

What about what polkadotladybug said? Buy a "nice" camera- but not quite a dSLR. I have a Sony H5 and have had a lot of fun with it. If he really is interested in photography, puts in the time and interest and will take the steps to learn how to use a dSLR, then that would be the time to buy one.

$800 is a lot of money to spend on a toy that will not necessarily ever get used- when that money can go towards something else.

Why exactly does he want a dSLR?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

we are getting to the point of having screaming fights over whether or not DH can purchase this camera.

I read the thread, then re-read the OP. And this is the sentence that came out at me the most. I could probably sugar coat it a bit, but I think I'll simply cut to the chase and say that to me, it seems like it's a fight for control, not really a fight about the camera. I think you need to look beyond this one issue and see what it is that's making your DH feel like he needs to exert his control right now at this point in time. My gut sense is there's a bigger issue at play. Good luck.

 

[mhutchinson]

If his old Canon 35mm takes EF lenses then let him get a Canon to utilize any lenses that he may already possess (if this is an affordable toy). If he does not use the new camera as he had said he would, then I would suggest that you use it and lay claim to YOUR new DSLR

Another option is to have him fund TWO mad money jars dollar for dollar...one for his camera and one for you...

As far as using the camera to its fullest, some people never move off the automatic mode which works better and faster than any P&S. I took the jump back to DSLR after not shooting with my SLR for almost 20 years and don't regret it.....but it is an expensive hobby to get started

 

[handicap18]

I read the thread, then re-read the OP. And this is the sentence that came out at me the most. I could probably sugar coat it a bit, but I think I'll simply cut to the chase and say that to me, it seems like it's a fight for control, not really a fight about the camera. I think you need to look beyond this one issue and see what it is that's making your DH feel like he needs to exert his control right now at this point in time. My gut sense is there's a bigger issue at play. Good luck.

While the OP may not have had that intent, but based on her original post and that quote, I agree with Pea-n-Me. I don't think its a camera issue either.

Now the OP could come back and say we are both talking out our a$$, but if they are having screaming fights over it,,,, well..... if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck,,,,, it's not a cow.

 

[jann1033]

well i wasn't going to say so but i agree with handicap and pea ( and i think Jen kind of mentioned it as well)...it is a good idea about the ef lenses though, you could pick up a cheaper rebel xt or maybe even a used one for under $500 and make everyone happy for less than $800.....

and the op would probably get lots more support for her side among the less camera fanatic community board than here

 

[jaycat]

Question does your dh think having an slr will make him a good photographer?

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Just to clarify a bit...

The fight was because I was going to be late for work if I stood there and listened to him talk about the camera. He was offended that I refused to be late to a job I have had less than a month.

I handle our finances. All of them. DH prefers not to be involved (I have offered to let him take over and he refuses) but then he gets mad when I say we can't afford something. I think the camera is unnecessary, so it doesn't belong on a credit card.

He hasn't told me yet WHY he wants this camera. I have told him we have a perfectly good digital camera that he doesn't know how to use. His response is basically that he wants this camera because he wants it and he is going to be cranky and unreasonable until he gets his way.

So, whether I am a control freak isn't really the issue at hand. I need to know if there is some reason that he would be mystically tranformed into an award winning photographer simpy by possessing this camera.

 

[CapeCAD]

So let's hear it! You all know far better than I whether this is a purchase that makes sense!

I figured asking this question on this thread would be like asking kids if they want candy. I am surprised at some of the replies.

My wife questioned my motives behind wanting a DSLR also (I was going to get it anyway). She ended up getting it for me earlier this month for our anniversary.

My reasons were:
1. I was never happy with the quality of the pictures taken by digital cameras we had purchased before.
2. We have never been able to get good fireworks shots from our Polynesian Concierge balcony.
3. We seemed to get a lot of blurry shots, especially in low light settings.

Most important:
4. I am a bit of a tech show-off. Some of my coworkers have digital cameras and are always sharing pictures they have taken with them. I enjoy sharing new pictures I have taken with the DSLR and watching them drool over them.

I must say that a day has not gone by since getting it that I have not taken atleast one picture. My wife and I even spent a day walking through a local park just so I could try different shots with it.

In my opinion, a DSLR set to Auto mode will produce a much better picture than a P&S. Even if neither of you gets serious into photography, your pictures will be much better.

If you can afford it, I would say better to support him and maybe even surprise him with one.

 

[ukcatfan]

No joke at all, but I think he should come on here and we could give him some advice based on what he wants. Even if he ends up having needs that require a DSLR, there is also the brand consideration. Each brand and level seems to have little things it either does really well or not so well. Without knowing why he wants one, we could never give an educated opinion on this.

If you are willing to give in some and just want to make him quiet with as little as possible, the Pentax K100D has a rebate that makes it a little over $400 right now.

Kevin

 

[SeaSpray]

My DH (CapeCAD) just told me about this thread, so here I am...

First of all, to answer the OPs question directly: "I need to know if there is some reason that he would be mystically tranformed into an award winning photographer simpy by possessing this camera", I can honestly say "Maybe!"

My DH didn't really get into our previous digital cameras much, beyond learning to take really decent pictures using the manual settings, but now that he has the DSLR, he's really loving it and enjoying every minute of researching and learning how to use it to its full potential. When we bought our previous digital cameras, we were both disappointed at how slowly the camera would reset itself so that we could go on to take the next picture (I'm sure there's a technical term for this. lol), so for a few years now, we've both sort of wanted a camera that you could use "click!click!click!click!" etc. He found out that a DSLR would give us that capability.

Did I think we necessarily needed to spend $1000+ (including accessories, lenses, flash, etc) on a new camera? No, not really. But (and here's an important part of the equation), my DH makes a very decent living, he works hard (I know, most DHs work hard, regardless of their salary ), and also he basically spoils ME a lot (notice all my Disney trips and cruises?? LOL), so there's NO WAY I'd begrudge him a new camera. I bought the new DSLR for him, and in return I got a trip to the Polynesian resort in 8 days! Both of these were our anniversary presents to each other.

However, if your DH wants to spend the money for a camera when that money SHOULD be used for other things (necessities) then maybe it is a control issue afterall. Not that YOU have a control issue, but maybe he does. I don't know.

Anyway, I just wanted to give my perspective, as a spouse who recently bought her DH a DSLR when it really wasn't "needed" or "necessary". Although you know, finances aside, letting DH have his "toys" can be looked at as a necessity because I know it gives him a diversion from the stress of work and helps keep his mental health in check (just like my vacations keep my mental health in check. lol)

P.S. mabas9395: I totally understand where you're coming from; my DH has an entire workshop full of power tools, also, but boy my DSs love those shelves he built with them, and I love the built-in storage bench in my back porch! Of course he hasn't touched his tools in a few years, but that's another story... He does plan on building more bookcases and shelves for DS16's bedroom though, so I'm sure he'll be dusting the tools off soon, and will probably be looking to buy more

P.P.S. I guess it helps that my DH is a VERY responsible person and doesn't blow money on many things at all (just his "toys", all of which are honestly quite useful to have), but when he wants to buy something new (again, which isn't very often, really), I tell him to go for it. If he was not responsible and was spending money that should be spent on necessities, then I'm sure this post would be quite different....