8 Million consider it, 32,000 a year do it - commit suicide.

[DawnCt1]

A Zillion years ago I read the book by Karl Menninger (Menninger Institute) Man Against Himself. He made a very accurate, compelling case, that suicide and self destructive behavior is "anger turned inward". Something to think about.

 

[denisem]

A Zillion years ago I read the book by Karl Menninger (Menninger Institute) Man Against Himself. He made a very accurate, compelling case, that suicide and self destructive behavior is "anger turned inward". Something to think about.

OK, I'm in the mood for Devil's Advocate tonight.

Suppose someone has lived a full life. They've been a functioning part of society, yet have no children or living parents. They find themselves with a debilitating, ultimately fatal disease. Is it wrong for them to consider suicide ("meet their fate" as it were?) early on, or continue to use medical care that could be better spent toward others?

 

[minkydog]

Yes, I have considered it in the last year, heck, even in the last month. My mother's illness, financial problems, and marriage issues have really gotten me down. I would not act on those feelings at this point in my life, and realize that I have been in a pretty bad place lately. I am working on making some changes, but it is hard not to be depressed when you feel like life is so lousy that there is no way out. If it weren't for my children, I don't know what I would do. I have to keep going on for them.

Oh, shylittle mouse I know what it is to feel so bad. You have a lot on your shoulders right now. As a caregiver, you have to find small ways to take care of yourself, for your own mental health. Is there anybody nearby that you can talk to? I don't know that they can fix it but surely they will lend you a soft shoulder to cry on.

I know a lot of people are kinda joking about this subject, but it's no laughing matter. People die every day by their own hand. I have suffered multiple depressive episodes since I was 15. Unfortunately, I never sought the treatment I needed and the depressions became worse and worse. My DH got me signed into rehab last fall because I was scaring the crap out of him. I told him that if he took me home I would not live through the night. And I meant it. I had the means and the plan. Bad news all around.

I thought of suicide daily for 37 YEARS That blows my mind, now that I'm properly treated and well into recovery. When you're that deep into depression your mind tells you things that aren't true. It tells you to do things that you would never consider if you were in a sane frame of mind. In fact, people with severe depression run a 15-20% risk of dying from their disease. If you knew that every time you got into a car you had a 1 in 5 chance of DYING, you probably would stop driving!

Fortunately, most people who feel like this can be helped. There are meds, very specific meds, that target your symptoms. Therapy is very helpful, as are support groups. When you're feeling like killing yourself it's hard to reach out to others, which is why it's SOOOO important that we do that when we hear someone is considering suicide. It's not just attention-seeking, it is a cry for help that must be heeded. Just don't be afraid to ask "Are you thinking of hurting yourself?" They'll usually be straight with you if you ask a direct question. You can even use the "S" word--most depressed people will actully be relieved you brought it up. They are literally DYING for someone to care!

 

[shy little mouse]

Minky, thanks for your concern and sharing your story. Many times there is a stigma attached to major depression and suicidal thoughts that shouldn't be there. I think that people who have not suffered from severe depression do not understand why the depressed person cannot just snap out of it. I even see my fellow nurses express negative attitudes about patients that have od'ed or are majorly depressed.

I have had periods of major depression since I was 13 years old and actually attempted suicide. I had a couple of more attempts as a teenager, but never have attempted again since I have been married and had children, so I guess I have been suffering with depression for the last 22 years. As a teenager, my parents did not understand or were not able to handle it, and did not get me any sort of help. As a young adult in my 20's, I did see counselors and try meds. The meds made me feel odd, and not myself. I have had good years and bad years. I am a functioning part of society and don't talk about my problems to many other people, so there are people who would never know that I feel this way. The last 2 years, dealing with a mother who had AML and a transplant, the drain on our finances brought on by the recession and my mom's illness, and the fact that my marriage is close to ending have really pushed me over the edge lately. I found that I was having difficulty sleeping (for the first time in years) and I was drinking to compensate.

As for talking to others, I have not been very good about that. Nurses can make the worst patients, lol, as I am sure you know. I tend to be the strong, silent type. I have confided in a few really good online friends who have been very supportive, and I appreciate them so much. I am doing better, as I have not thought about suicide for a couple of weeks now, compared to thinking about it almost every day for the last year and a half. I know that it is a very final act that would hurt my beautiful daughters so much, that I just couldn't go through with it.

Anyway, I really appreciate your post.

 

[Stevania]

OK, I'm in the mood for Devil's Advocate tonight.

Suppose someone has lived a full life. They've been a functioning part of society, yet have no children or living parents. They find themselves with a debilitating, ultimately fatal disease. Is it wrong for them to consider suicide ("meet their fate" as it were?) early on, or continue to use medical care that could be better spent toward others?

That is an honor suicide in my opinion. Anything else would be classified as Darwinism in my book. Nothing is ever so bad, everybody hurts, only the strong survive.

 

[shy little mouse]

That is an honor suicide in my opinion. Anything else would be classified as Darwinism in my book. Nothing is ever so bad, everybody hurts, only the strong survive.

You know what, I would like to say some things to you right now that would get me banned, but I will refrain because you are not worth that to me. "Darwinism", that is a joke. I may be a very depressed individual, but I have a good career, am intelligent enough to be working on a Masters degree from a highly regarded program, and I have persevered despite the challenges that life has thrown at me. Until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes and seen the bad things life has thrown at them, I don't think you get to judge that "nothing is ever so bad". Your comment is very ignorant, imho.

 

[DawnCt1]

OK, I'm in the mood for Devil's Advocate tonight.

Suppose someone has lived a full life. They've been a functioning part of society, yet have no children or living parents. They find themselves with a debilitating, ultimately fatal disease. Is it wrong for them to consider suicide ("meet their fate" as it were?) early on, or continue to use medical care that could be better spent toward others?

So then the "right to die" becomes the moral "duty to die"? Is it wrong? I am not Catholic, but I observed the suffering that Pope John Paul II went through. He could have refused care and died much earlier but he taught us all that suffering is a part of life. Perhaps it prepares us to accept death. Is it wrong to commit suicide under the criteria you laid out? I guess that depends upon your religious faith.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

only the strong survive.

I'm sure you weren't thinking when you posted that and didn't mean it the way it sounded. Actually, it sounded more like you were lashing out than being bitter. Maybe there's things going on in your life that are making you angry or upset?

At any rate, sending you and .

 

[beautybelle]

Sever depression is something that I deal with almost on a daily basis. I have seriously considered suicide more time that I care to count in the last year. There are times that I feel like I can barely make it from one hour to the next and not really sure I even want to. Like another poster said, if it werent for my kids I wouldnt even bother to try. I have begged people practically for help and the reaction I get from family and friends are mostly disbelief. My mom (who only had a 5th grade education) doesnt believe in depression just circumstances, my dad and husband just simply doesnt want to deal with it at all. Ya know, pretend it isnt happening and all that. My mom tells me to not tell anybody because with thoughts like that they may take my kids away. I went to a theripist but I felt like I couldnt tell them the extent of my problem because I didnt want to run the risk of it hurting my kids. So other than what Im telling you all, Im totally 100% alone with my problem. It is slowly killing me. I function everyday on automatic, very little if any true enjoyment I feel, I do what im expected to and nothing else. Day by day, but they're days I set down and I hear that little voice that tells me to go ahead and do it, my kids will have people to take care of them probably better than what Im doing anyway, Im just being selfish staying here.........Theres the other voice that tells me that if I do it I will split hell wide open, not to mention how it will affect my kids. As little as 2 weeks ago I held a gun that my husband keeps on top of a cabinet and thought how quick it would be, the cold against my skin felt oddly comforting. But God and my kids always win the battle. I need help but I dont know what to do. Now you all know my dirty little secret, lucky for me, none of you know me.

 

[Stevania]

I'm sure you weren't thinking when you posted that and didn't mean it the way it sounded. Actually, it sounded more like you were lashing out than being bitter. Maybe there's things going on in your life that are making you angry or upset?

At any rate, sending you and .

I am upset and bitter right now. Not at people killing themselves, but life in general. I do think suicide is for the weak. Sorry, if that gets me banned so be it. I was under the impression we could express our opinion and that is mine. I do have experience with suicide, and don't want to elaborate on it.

 

[FireDancer]

I like Jimmy Buffet's look at it...a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I can't say I've ever had THAT bad of a day.

 

[locolala]

I have dealt with severe depression for at least 10 years. Most of those were spent with long periods of suicidal thoughts and ideations. The only thing that kept me from actually going through with it was my family. I've seen first hand what suicide does to a family, as my aunt hung herself when I was 5. I found her body. I've been in a psych ward 3 times, two of the times were within the same month. I was in a severely abusive relationship and couldn't figure out a better way to get out. I've been in and out of therapy virtually my whole life. The past year has been the best for me, better than any I remember. I'm off my meds, I haven't cut myself in over a year, and my depression is manageable with exercise and some very basic talk therapy. It's amazing. I still have occasional thoughts but I know how to better deal with them. Many hugs to people suffering.. I know how hard it can get.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Minky, thanks for your concern and sharing your story. Many times there is a stigma attached to major depression and suicidal thoughts that shouldn't be there.

There is also a very serious stigma attached to people who have survived the suicide of someone close to them. I once read a bereavement book that stated it perfectly. "The grieving process of suicide survivors is often shrouded by stigma and silenced by shame."

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Stevania, even though I don't agree with you I can see your point. I don't think it's so much that suicide is for the weak as that survival of depression and choosing not to make the deciison to end your life no matter how depressed you are is for the VERY strong. In my mind, the PP's on this post who have come close and made the harder choice are TRUE survivors.

 

[mickeyboat]

I was taking some medication last year for what my doctor diagnosed as a chronic facial nerve pain condition. The medicine had emotional side effects and was not helping. I was in excruciating pain.

I do remember wondering how long I would be able to deal with the pain before I decided enough was enough.

Those thoughts really scared me and I told my doctor I needed to try a different med. I never felt like that before and hope I never feel that way again.

 

[Kies99]

I voted never, but I'm sure the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I have never seriously considered it though.

Me too. Never seriously considered it, but have thought what'd it be like if I did.

Then I took my happy pills and all is well!

 

[phorsenuf]

I was taking some medication last year for what my doctor diagnosed as a chronic facial nerve pain condition. The medicine had emotional side effects and was not helping. I was in excruciating pain.

I do remember wondering how long I would be able to deal with the pain before I decided enough was enough.

Those thoughts really scared me and I told my doctor I needed to try a different med. I never felt like that before and hope I never feel that way again.

Was that trigeminal neuralgia by any chance? I've heard that referred to as the suicide condition because the pain is so bad. I had it once but thankfully it didn't last for months and months like it can with some people.

 

[mickeyboat]

Was that trigeminal neuralgia by any chance? I've heard that referred to as the suicide condition because the pain is so bad. I had it once but thankfully it didn't last for months and months like it can with some people.

It was diagnosed as TN - but my PCP was wrong. It was a terrible sinus infection and a fractured tooth that was causing the nerve pain. I am sure the pain was just like TN, but we were able to find the cause and treat it - thank goodness. I did a lot of research about TN, and I feel so badly for people who have it. It was awful! I am glad to hear you have not had trouble with it.

 

[cepmom]

Sever depression is something that I deal with almost on a daily basis. I have seriously considered suicide more time that I care to count in the last year. There are times that I feel like I can barely make it from one hour to the next and not really sure I even want to. Like another poster said, if it werent for my kids I wouldnt even bother to try. I have begged people practically for help and the reaction I get from family and friends are mostly disbelief. My mom (who only had a 5th grade education) doesnt believe in depression just circumstances, my dad and husband just simply doesnt want to deal with it at all. Ya know, pretend it isnt happening and all that. My mom tells me to not tell anybody because with thoughts like that they may take my kids away. I went to a theripist but I felt like I couldnt tell them the extent of my problem because I didnt want to run the risk of it hurting my kids. So other than what Im telling you all, Im totally 100% alone with my problem. It is slowly killing me. I function everyday on automatic, very little if any true enjoyment I feel, I do what im expected to and nothing else. Day by day, but they're days I set down and I hear that little voice that tells me to go ahead and do it, my kids will have people to take care of them probably better than what Im doing anyway, Im just being selfish staying here.........Theres the other voice that tells me that if I do it I will split hell wide open, not to mention how it will affect my kids. As little as 2 weeks ago I held a gun that my husband keeps on top of a cabinet and thought how quick it would be, the cold against my skin felt oddly comforting. But God and my kids always win the battle. I need help but I dont know what to do. Now you all know my dirty little secret, lucky for me, none of you know me.

please please please talk to your therapist, or if you don't feel comfortable with him/her, please find another one. There are medications that can help you through this. I had postpartum depression and really resisted the idea of having to take medications to deal with it, but I am so glad I did. It really turned my life around and it doesn't need to be forever.

I am worried about you......have you told your husband what you wrote here? Please talk to someone. You do not have to live like this...it can be better.

 

[teacups]

That is an honor suicide in my opinion. Anything else would be classified as Darwinism in my book. Nothing is ever so bad, everybody hurts, only the strong survive.

Life has taught me a few lessons, and one of them is that I dont have a clue what someone else is going through until I have went through that exact same thing for myself. You can not say "Nothing is ever so bad" except about your own situtaion.