I love the entire fall and holiday season. However each year the family(relatives on both sides) are becoming more of a stressful hassle. Hoping for a few good ideas on handling the situation.
We have the only home suited for all to get together so things are done here, which I am fine with. We have aid the full bill for everything for way too many yrs and finally 2 yrs ago said we wont be treating everyone for every get together-10 to 14 /yr. Just cannot do it. We asked For everyone to bring items for the big holidys-easter, tday, xmas...and for the spouse of however's birthday it is to take care of birthdays. ie..sis take care of BIL.
They show up with things like a can of beans, no drinks(when there party) enough for only a couple people, things only they will eat...so I kept trying to get agreements on menu's and amounts...only slightly better. I try to think its the company not the food so ....ignore it.
Then there is the showing up for the dinners hours late(literally HOURS) so we just eat without them even though the tables are all set and wen they show they aregood and ticked but I say too bad. I can't begin to say how poorly behaved some of the kids are-handling the foods on the platters, piling food mile high to only eat a few bites, DRINKING from the gravy boat, taking soda after soda with only a few sips then toss saying its warm..Yes we have discussed with the parents but has had little impact except to tick them off.
I would like to get out of the gift exchange with our relatives as well. I would just do for the couple youngest nephews because while we always try to special gifts both sides of our relatives do the last minute GC so I feel like I am just getting money or credit somewhere to pay me back for spending a ton of time shopping for them. And fi we just do a GC for them then it is like we are just swaping money, which seems stupid to me.
My DH , myself and our sons are fine on our own for the holidays. Cant leave due to DH business at that time of year or we would be somewhere else over the week of xmas and new years. We have a bunch of traditions of our own that we always do but would give them up for some peace.
I am already in planning stages for DH and 2 DS gifts. I am thinking of gold chain and cross for each DS. A new watch for DH. Every other year we get the new phones , so if BF deals are good I'll do that as well. plus there is always PJ's, new
crocs, clothes, some blu rays...that kind of thing.
OK, so anyone who has any ideas or have dealt with these types of family issues PLS let me know! TIA!