.........................

[C.Ann]

 

[luvwinnie]

I just want to give you a hug.

 

[poohbears5]

Hugs C.ann I kinda know what your going through as I was caregiver for my mom and was pregant and had four kids it was tough , I even got jealous that my dh got to go to work. Try and steal minutes for yourself a hot bubble bath saved me many a day.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Are you able to go outside? Can you just step outside and get some fresh air for a few minutes? I find that this really helps me, especially in the winter months when you tend to hibernate more and get cabin fever.

When you DD or SIL come home can you just got out and take a walk? Plan in your head somethings you need to do around the house. Get a new book, rent some movies, take a nice bath.

 

[DisMN]

If it makes you feel any better, I would guess that part of what you're feeling is a post holiday let-down, which when you add everything else that you're going through, well, you've had a LOT of frustrating changes in your life.......it might be that your down feeling is a temporary situation, that tomorrow (or next week) will feel better.

I dunno if that does help much......I'm sorry.

Just wanna add my hugs if nothing else. *hug*

Hang in there. The "faceless" internet can be your lifesaver at a time when you feel like you're alone.....it's not as faceless as you might imagine.

 

[SandraM]

Sorry you're so down C.Ann and I hope something comes along to cheer you up very soon. Thank goodness for the internet - imagine how isolated you'd be without it!
Wishing you the best. [[[[[[Hugs]]]]]]

 

[ADisneygirl]

I have no advice other than to tell you that I think you are doing a wonderful job under difficult if not impossible circumstances, and you shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling mad and overwhelmed. Anyone in your shoes would, and that doesn't make you any less of a caring, wonderful wife. While you can't relieve yourself of most of the caregiving for various reasons, can you ask someone to stay with him for a few hours? A relative? A friend? A neighbor?

There are support organizations out there for these caregiver situations. Call Hospice and ask them to help you find a group. Then you will get a few hours rest away from the house every week, which will do not only you wonders but also make you a better wife/caretaker once you have had a break. You will snap under the weight of all this pressure.

Good luck and God Bless you.

 

[Jeanny]

could you contact one of those support groups and see if they know of a spousal support group? What about contacting the VA themselves? I know how overwhelmed you are, as I was the caregiver for my Dad when he was alive and my brothers didn't show up until he was admitted to the hospital.. they were always too busy.... I still feel guilty about "yelling" sometimes, but it was just fustration because no one else would even help out.

 

[thatchicktrish]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like there is nothing to look forward to, I can relate to the feeling of hopeless-ness. I can also relate on not leaving the house and lack of social interaction related to not leaving the house. I know it's easier said than done but take a minute to clear your mind each day, even here on the DIS. Maybe it helped after typing out all your feelings? Oh hun, I just want to give you a hug Feel free to vent anytime.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

 

[Rozzie]

C.Ann-I cannot imagine what you must be going through. I so much admire your strength. but please don't feel guilty for needing a break. ALL caregivers need a break. Do you belong to a church/synaguage etc.? I know our church offers caregiver relief.
Caregiver role strain is a very real diagnosis, I have seen so many spouses/SO's break under the 24hr demand. and I agree with you about having your dh do things for himself that he is able. It will help his self esteem and confidence. this is JMO.
in the mean time, many prayers to you.

 

[sorcerormickey]

Oh, C Ann....((((((HUGS)))))) to you.

Although no one really knows what you are going thru inside, I can say my mom and I have been in a similar situation when my dad was sick. My father was diagnosed with throat cancer in December of 1989 and passed away in August of 1991. His illness lasted less than 2 years and took a huge toll on us. I cannot imagine what something lasting 10 years can do to someone mentally and physically.

Hopefully, you get something worked out that you could get away from the house for a little while...even just for a few hours once a week or so. Or even just a walk around the neighborhood. Something...anything...to clear your head and keep your sanity.

I am so sorry for what you both are going thru.

 

[mallcat]

Hugs to you. Take care of yourself too. Maybe someone can give you a break to do something for yourself for a couple hours a week. Feel free to vent to us anytime.

 

[lynxstch]

C. Ann all I can send you is a BIG HUG and wishes that your strength holds out. You have been thru a very tough year, with a lot of situations that you have struggled through. Please know that all your friends on the DIS admire you for who you are and for what you do, and that you can feel free to come here and vent, cry, scream, anything you need to do. Please feel free to pm me if there's anything I can help you with!
Lynn

 

[missypie]

Are you involved in a church? Our church has "care teams" that provide regular relief to caregivers. Depending on the folks involved, you may still have to do much of the work, but it sounds like if you could just get out a few hours a week, it would help. Please call the Pastoral Care department of some of your local churches or synagogues. Most groups won't try to convert you; they'll just be there to help in specific, concrete ways.

 

[Mom2Ashli]

 

[snoopy]

{{C. Ann}}

I wish I had some magic words.....

You know you can always come here, we're here for you. I'm keeping you close to my heart.

 

[piglet too]

Wish there was more than cyber hugs I could offer you. Please try some of the suggestions others have given, you may just be surprised at what is out there afterall.

 

[mommytobug]

Caregivers have so much on them. I work with caregivers and have been one myself. It never turns off, even when my grandmother had a sitter............cell phone still rang and my mind would not leave. You have to take care of yourself. If not, you too will need help. Is there any way you could afford a sitter.....even one day a week. They usually take minimum wage or below.......call your local hospital and ask for the social worker or call the local hospice and ask ...they usually have a list of sitters that you can use. PLEASE take care of your self. You did not mention what is wring with your husband. If you will share I may know an organization to refer you to. Caregiving is the most difficult and most loving thing you will ever do. Caregiving also sometimes causes depression.....have you been to the doc yourself??