.........................

[MB MinnieGirl]

I wish there were more we could do for you than offer support online. I can imagine how hard it is on you right now, and that it indeed does feel as though the walls are closing in around you. We are here for you. Scream, yell, cry, vent, we will listen. Is there anyway that you can talk to your DD about how you are feeling? I know she has a lot on her too, but maybe she could offer suggestions for you? My father is a caregiver to my mother - although he does also work outside the home - so his is not the same situation. I don't know how he does it, and I don't know how you do either...you are an inspiration. God bless...hugs, prayers and pixie dust coming your way.

 

[ballroombelle]

I'm so moved by your post and am embarrassed to say I come with no advice.

Though most of us probably have no idea what you're really going through, I know that we all send you our sympathies. I pray things look up for you and that something -anything- wonderful pops up on the horizon very, very soon.

 

[femmegirl]

I can not say that I have ever experienced anything like what you are going through. I just want to say that I will be thinking about you and praying for you as well.

My mom took care of my dad as his health declined. He never was as sick as your husband, but I know she felt like she had to do a lot and it sometimes got to her too.

I really wish you the best and wish I could offer some advice to make you feel better.


If there is anything I can do, just let me know

 

[disneymom3]

I just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through this. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. From your posts, it is obvious what a caring person you are and I just know that you are doing a wonderful job but of course, the well runs dry sometimes. Perhaps some hospice care could come in and help out. I don't know how that works with insurance or what, but when my dad was dying, my mom had a guy who could come in and stay with my dad for an hour or two so that she could go out to her support meetings or just to shop or something.

Hang in there!

 

[chrissyk]

There are these places called something like "respite care centers" around here. I think that they must be everywhere. They take care of your relative who needs care for a set period of time (long-weekend, week, etc.) so you can get away and take care of yourself. If you want to go to the lake or to Disney, would a respite-care center be an option? At least that would give you something to look forward to, and that alone would cheer you up. Caregivers are under tremendous stress, that's for sure

 

[C.Ann]

 

[dvcfamily41801]

Know that we are all here for you. I am sorry, I wish I could offer more.

 

[Microcell]

Last night I scoured the internet looking for a spousal caregivers support group in this area and came up empty-handed.. Everything I found was for children caring for their elderly parents or group-specific meetings (ie. Altzheimer's; MS; etc.) Nothing for a wife caring for a husband for the past 10 years and feeling like a high dive off of a steep cliff would make a lovely vacation right about now..

I am so sorry that you feel so helpless. I understand that there is not a care group specific to your situation, but I think the Alzheimers or MS caregivers groups would be very open to having you join, as caregivers feelings are the same- the hopelessness, the feeling of being trapped, etc...

I am sure others have told you, don't be so hard on yourself! It is not fun to be a constant caregiver. Everything you feel is normal and anyone who flames you has not been in your situation. Mother Theresa herself couldn't live under constant pressure like that!

 

[DoeWDW]

C. Ann, I wish I could give you a in person and could help you in other ways. I will keep you and your DH and your DD & family in my prayers. Please feel free to come here and vent, cry, scream, whatever it takes to help you keep your sanity.

I hope you can find some way to steal an hour or two for yourself on a regular basis.

 

[rascalmom]

I wish I could do more than send you hugs over the computer! I've been at the hospital a lot in the last year with my dad & I have noticed support group info posted there several times. Could you call your local hospital and see if they have anything? You need to get yourself some break-time girlfriend - is there anyone who can stay with your DH while you get out of the house for a few hours? Does he have any friends who could come over and sit with him? I know being sick for an extended period of time really isolates you. Please take care of yourself! You can always PM me if you need to talk to someone. We all do care!

 

[iNTeNSeBLue98]

C.Ann. The winter blahs are probably adding to your distress. Do as Jenn Lynn suggested on p.1. and take a moment to step outside in the daylight for a few moments everyday if you can't take the time to actually get away from the house. Delight in the beauty of yet another day. I'm sure the situation is very hard for you, and I hope the move ends up being the best for all of you in the coming new year.

 

[Virgo10]

First of all to you. I don't know if any of these sites might help but you may want to give them a look.

Resources

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!

Roberta

 

[Pooh93]

You are such a strong spirit and are the one that seems to hold everyone/everything together in your family. (I know this role well ) You need someone to hold you up, so that you can recharge a bit. Know that we in this internet community will do it's best to hold you up. Anytime.

 

[Krisu]

C. Ann, Although I have not been in your position I have been a nurse for a long time and have seen many instances of this. Please, please take care of yourself first. I don't know the details of your DH's illness, but you need time away even for an hour. Is there anyone in town who could relieve you for a short time? Not sure if he needs a medical person. As another poster mentioned, please look into Respite Care. Look thru your phone book for some social service agencies. I forgot where you lived, isn't it near Albany?? What will happen to your DH if you get rundown and ill? PM me if you don't want to get into specifics here. BTW vent all you want!!!!!!!

 

[luv2nascar]

deep cleansing breath
stretches, walking up and down the steps
sometimes a little exercise brings us back around

maybe you could find someone a friend or relative who would watch him for an hour or two every week so you could have some private time for yourself
is there a program at the va he could go to so you could get away

you must think of yourself and your health also. Often caregivers just give they don't think of themselves. It is okay to think of you too.

good luck.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

 

[Pin Wizard]

Hugs for you, C.Ann!

Personally, when I'm alone, I'll yell. Have to get it out some how.

Is there help available through the VA? Are there any senior citizen centers in your area you're aware of? (I used to work for one many years ago.) Perhaps some sort of help is available through the Area Agency on Aging. The first link below is for Caregivers.

http://www.aoa.gov/eldfam/For_Caregivers/For_Caregivers.asp

http://www.aoa.gov/eldfam/How_To_Find/Agencies/Agencies.asp

 

[Laurabearz]

(((((HUgs))))) You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[decker96]

I don't have any advice, just want to send you s.

 

[auntpolly]

I hope this suggestion isn't way off base, but here's what I would do. I'd plan a Disney trip. A long range one. Even if it's a little pretend. You have a huge list of obstacles to get through for something like this, but in a way, this could be part of the fun of the thing, figuring out how to get over the obstacles and give you something to look forward to.

You can save change and roll coins for spending money --- look for deals -- study airfares ,plan on care for your husband -- and plan every detail of the trip. You could pick a goal date, or just consider the dates "TBA". Even if this doens't happen for a few years, planning something like this can be fun for a long time! Of course it doesn't have to be WDW - you can pick the goal!

Start a notebook - make it a big project! Something to look forward to!