7 yr old suddenly crying A LOT

[taximomfor4]

DD7 (2nd grader) got really weepy last Wednesday evening. I figured she must be coming down with something. Thurs morning she woke me up, and was crying and said her tummy hurt. I kept her home, but she played and was fine all day. Thurs night, she was crying again saying her tummy hurt. Friday morning, she woke me up, crying, saying she didn't feel very well. I kept her home again. Saturday morning, dh had to work near his mom's house. His mom invited the kids all over to visit grandma...so dh took them over there on his way to work. DD7 stayed home, so I figured she MUST feel out of sorts but not quite sick.

She was fine Saturday and Sunday, though. Yesterday (Monday), she woke me up in the morning, crying AGAIN. Last night, cried AGAIN at bedtime. This morning, woke me up, crying AGAIN. Yesterday, I started talking to her about school...thinking maybe something happened to upset her there, or someone is picking on her again, or her best friend found a new best friend. SOMETHING. Nope, she just says she will miss me.

Just now,the school called. DD7 is there at the office...the teacher sent her to the nurse because she was crying, and teacher thought (like I had) that she might be sick. No temp, says she feels ok...but is crying.

I have no idea what to do, what to think. She's my 4th...and has NEVER cried when left with a sitter, or sent to school, until now. We DO have a cold runnnig through some members of our family, but she says she feels fine. Anyone's kid go through something like this? Was it just a touch of a cold or something, and what can I do to help dd? The principal is talking to dd now, and the office will call me back.

 

[cabmom]

I had a horrible nasty teacher when I was 7 and did everything I could to avoid going to school. I don't think I ever told my parents the real reason why I tried to get out of school. She still sticks in my mind to this day!

 

[Totally Tink]

Any deaths or tragic events in the news, on tv or around her recently? I know my 7 year old DS will get clingy if he sees something that makes him think something bad will happen. I'm just throwing that out there since it seems like she's saying she is fine at school.

 

[Totally Tink]

I also wanted to add that my DS has also cried recently when in the tub or in his room alone at night. This really seems to be the stage for those fears of monsters, vampires, etc. Scooby Doo is really scary to him right now. I try to not make him feel like it's silly and instead go up and turn on lights, check the closet, etc before he goes to bed.

The tummy hurting makes me think she's stressed in some way.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I would have her evaluated by her doc to make sure it is nothing physical.

HOWEVER--I will say, that often a psychological issue will manifest physically.

My gut is that something is bothering her about school that it is taking its toll on her since she is physically fine AWAY from school.

While I am not one to helicopter...I am not one to submit my child to unnecessary suffering. I would consider a consult with a psychologist to see if you can draw out what the issue is if you are unsuccessful in figuring it out between you and the school staff.

I'd go back and think about what happened on the first day--in explicit detail.

It could be something so benign to us--but something that has really affected your dd.


I had anxiety--and it began affecting my work. I would bust out crying at work (as a 22 year old adult) for no reason. When it go that serious, I did seek help. I still went to work--but I had to resolve the problem.

 

[dawson5]

You said it started last Wed. I would let the school know that, maybe the teacher or recess aides might know of something that happened at that time.

Also, my nephew gets drainage that upsets his stomach. It's not all the time but it has made him vomit before. He doesn't have cold symptoms, just the drainage.

Is there a possibility that (heaven forbid) she is starting to "change"?

 

[Goofycampers]

It definitely sounds like she is wanting to be home near mom for comfort, even to the extent of skipping grandma's for time alone with you. Sounds to me like something is stressing her out and it may very well be causing a tummy ache. Kids at that age may not be able to verbalize what's really going on. I would see if she'll act it out in play, a sort of play therapy of sorts with dolls, stuffed animals, etc. Maybe then you'll have some clues as to what's going on. But if it doesn't subside soon, I'd take her to your pediatrician to rule out physical causes.

 

[paintnolish]

I agree with PPs....something changed at school last Wed. and it is stressing her out. I did the same thing in 1st grade- we found out our teacher would be leaving and we were getting a new teacher. The new teacher was aman, too, which made it even worse. Or, could she have heard something from someone else at school that is upsetting her? Something in current events about Haiti or Iran's nukes or something? I'd tell her something like- Sometimes when I get really worried about something, my stomach hurts because I can't stop worrying about it. Is there something that you've been thinking about a lot? GL, OP...I was a worrier when I was little. Heck, I am a worrier now!

 

[taximomfor4]

OP here, thanks, everyone! I've got an update. The principal talked to her for a while, talked about all her teachers, her friends, who she eats lunch with, etc. She told him she misses Mommy. She even mentioned to him that I am looking for a job (I have been...for almost 2 YEARS now). He thinks she may have just begun processing what mommy having a job means. She remembers when I was in nursing school, back then, she wasn't in school full time so she had all day home with me.

He says he told her to go to her teacher if she is feeling sad, that her teacher loves to tell jokes and always has one up his sleeve (very true). Also, said that if she felt that she wanted to talk to him (the principal) again, he'd be happy to. He told her that when he was about her age, he missed a lot of school because he kept wanting to be home with his mommy, and told her his ear was hurting. She said that's what she did with saying her tummy was hurting.

Teacher and lunch staff are being notified, to watch for anything that might be going on but he really thinks it's a case of a child hitting a missing-mommy phase. He said he has seen many kids go through it over the years, and the age varies.

Crossing my fingers that she's back to her old self soon, that I can alleviate whatever is worrying her.

 

[Liberty Belle]

OP here, thanks, everyone! I've got an update. The principal talked to her for a while, talked about all her teachers, her friends, who she eats lunch with, etc. She told him she misses Mommy. She even mentioned to him that I am looking for a job (I have been...for almost 2 YEARS now). He thinks she may have just begun processing what mommy having a job means. She remembers when I was in nursing school, back then, she wasn't in school full time so she had all day home with me.

He says he told her to go to her teacher if she is feeling sad, that her teacher loves to tell jokes and always has one up his sleeve (very true). Also, said that if she felt that she wanted to talk to him (the principal) again, he'd be happy to. He told her that when he was about her age, he missed a lot of school because he kept wanting to be home with his mommy, and told her his ear was hurting. She said that's what she did with saying her tummy was hurting.

Teacher and lunch staff are being notified, to watch for anything that might be going on but he really thinks it's a case of a child hitting a missing-mommy phase. He said he has seen many kids go through it over the years, and the age varies.

Crossing my fingers that she's back to her old self soon, that I can alleviate whatever is worrying her.

What a wonderful principal!

You never know what could trigger these things. Maybe she saw a clip on Haiti where a child couldn't find her mother or she saw a movie in which a mother died (Disney!) or something and it just kind of hit her.

I'll never forget when my son was six and he started crying one night. He never cried, so I was alarmed and asked him what was wrong. He said, "I don't want to die when I'm 8!" Let me tell you, I was sure happy when his ninth birthday rolled around.

 

[clarabelle]

That sounds nice -what a nice man.

I just wanted to add that I have a bright, anxious -kind of child that went through a phase of anxiety and separation anxiety when she was 10 or so.

A few things that helped:

Made sure she had more than enough sleep
Avoided watching or listening to the news in front of her.
Avoided watching the weather channel (we found out she had Katrina/hurricane phobia)
Spent some extra time with her -she had stopped wanting to be read to at that stage -but we started again.
We avoided sleepovers for a while- we decided they weren't good for her at that time


Good luck. Parenting is not for wussies!

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

Does your school have a guidance cousellor? All of our elementaries do. They go to each classroom throughout the year and talk to the kids about feelings and dealing with stress...that kind of stuff. They also will make sure to check in on kids that are having some "issue". It doesn't have to be something huge. They'll usually ask the child to stop in between something...5 or 10 minutes here or there and help them deal with whatever they need. It's really helpful. When I was in school we only had guidance counsellors in High School and they only "guided" you to a College or career.

 

[rie'smom]

OP here, thanks, everyone! I've got an update. The principal talked to her for a while, talked about all her teachers, her friends, who she eats lunch with, etc. She told him she misses Mommy. She even mentioned to him that I am looking for a job (I have been...for almost 2 YEARS now). He thinks she may have just begun processing what mommy having a job means. She remembers when I was in nursing school, back then, she wasn't in school full time so she had all day home with me.

He says he told her to go to her teacher if she is feeling sad, that her teacher loves to tell jokes and always has one up his sleeve (very true). Also, said that if she felt that she wanted to talk to him (the principal) again, he'd be happy to. He told her that when he was about her age, he missed a lot of school because he kept wanting to be home with his mommy, and told her his ear was hurting. She said that's what she did with saying her tummy was hurting.

Teacher and lunch staff are being notified, to watch for anything that might be going on but he really thinks it's a case of a child hitting a missing-mommy phase. He said he has seen many kids go through it over the years, and the age varies.

Crossing my fingers that she's back to her old self soon, that I can alleviate whatever is worrying her.

Wow, your family is so blessed to have such an understanding principal! I'm very impressed. Having that talk with your daughter will probably make a big difference in how she feels about school.
Hope all is fine now and thank-you for the update!

 

[littleteapot]

My normally cheerful daughter went through a couple weeks like this last year...turned out she had a bladder infection. No severe pain, just a "tummy ache". Might be worth a check up at the Dr.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

You should seriously clone that principal!! I think every school needs someone like that!!

 

[2girlsmom]

My 9 year old has been doing this a lot too, and not wanting to go to sleep in her bed of late. This has never been an issue with her before, but in our case we had an 8 year old child that we knew, who was killed in a fire recently, and the not wanting to go to sleep started directly after that, so we are fairly confident that is what is going on. Not sure how we stop it though, we just keep reassuring her that we have smoke detectors, and going over the emergency escape plan, etc. I have noticed she gets worse if she is overly tired, but beyond that there doesn't seem to be a pattern.

 

[taximomfor4]

You should seriously clone that principal!! I think every school needs someone like that!!

He is great. We go to one of the 2 "worst" elementary schools in our district (there are 12 total) but we LOVE it. The principal calls home for lots of things...for our family, it is when the kids get a "positive referral"/ "good citizen" award from a teacher. Or when one of the kids does well in a spelling bee. DD was worried the first day of school, about having a male teacher....but she thinks the world of him AND her male principal, who's been there since before she got to Kindergarten. She talks about both of them in a positive way pretty regularly.

 

[Erin1700]

Paint one of her fingernails before school and let her do the same to one of yours. Tell her when she sees it she will know mommy loves her! And you will think of her too!
I have done this with my DD and it helps!

 

[PollyannaMom]

My neighbor's DD hit the same phase when she was 8 (and got through it and is fine now ). Your principal sounds great, and he's right on target! Kids this age are taking big steps forward. Think of all the changes in their lives - going from being the "kittle kids" to the "big kids" at school, more responsibilities at home, so much more that they do on their own than before. It's perfectly natural for them to want to step back into their safe zones once in a while and catch their breath.

Try to offer closeness to you (be it doing special things together or just tossling her hair as she walks by) when she's not seeking it out. It will help to reassure her that you are still there for her, that she isn't outgrowing you, and that you love her even when she doesn't need you.

Good luck, and .

 

[ReneeA]

DS is 8 and has been super weepy lately too. I've chalked it up to lots of changes in his life lately. One of his good friends just switched schools, I graduated from nursing school & went to work full time, and my DH (who's been laid off alot in the past year) has had work pick up lots in the past couple of months.

I'm hoping that once I'm done training and go back to my 3 midnight shifts a week like he's used to, he'll be a little less fragile. Maybe it's just the age...lots of my friends have kids this age and they've all said there has been many changes lately.