"Does my bum look big in this?"
Here are some of the more amusing responses:
Of course everyone knows... the correct answer is: "That dress doesn't make you look fat. The fat makes you look fat."
The right answer would be: Who cares? You're blocking the TV! (smack!)
A "Lady" shouldn't ask such personal questions... unless her rear end is not only blocking traffic on an 8-lane highway, but also interfering with air traffic control's radar!
The correct response is, "Honey, have you seen my keys? I swear they were right here. I'll go check the car while you finish dressing."
"Honey, you look great in anything, or nothing at all"
We're doomed. Say "no" and she won't believe you. Say "yes" and you're in the doghouse all night. My answer is to fake temporary deafness.
It's absolutely fine, but not in that colour. (Then suggest a colour that is obviously not available.)
Try: "Your butt is the standard by which all others are measured."
1) It's all relative, my dear. Does an elephant look big inside a circus tent?
2) Define 'big.'
3) Let me put it this way: have you ever seen the Hindenberg being maneuvered into its hangar?
4) Actually, your bum looks much larger out of that.
5) Don't worry dear. No one will notice your bum. They all be gagging at that hideous floral pattern.
Actually, you're right. You'll die a slow and horrible death no matter what your response.
No its fine dear, I just didnt know there was an ecpilse of the sun due.
You take her in your arms. You look in her eyes. You drink deeply from them. You place your hands at the small of her back and press gently, tenderly. You whisper into her ear, "Darling, every time I think about you I get so lost. I have no idea what fits you and what doesn't fit you and what looks good on you. All I know is that every time I put my arms around you I find it very difficult to take them away again." And go from there. Any questions?
Yeah, okay, I've got one, smart guy: what if she's so fat, there isn't even a part of her back you could call a "small", even if you *could* reach it? Ever think of that? Huh?
You could ask " What's that "Bum" doing in your pants in the first place?". And yes, you poor saps are doomed as there is no correct response to the question as we females only ask to start a fight or go to a ritzier place or to actually get you guys to think about the meaning of life. Also, there are other questions we females ask to befuddle you fellows, but if I told you any more I would have to kill you
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