6th grade DD forged note to skip gym yesterday,punishment ?

[Disney Doll]

2 separate issues here...her bahvior and the weight teasing thing.

IMHO, appropriate punishment for the crime. She did something wrong, she needs to realize it, she also needs to realize that if something is happening at school to make her even consider doing something like this that she needs to come to you pronto!!!

As far as the weight thing...is she a bit chubby? If so, how about a mother/daughter walking program...several benefits...exercise, weight loss, uniterrupted time with DD.

I wouldn't say anything about the teasing...kids are mean, she has to develop some self-esteem and be able to deal with it. Momma's not going to be here forever to protect her. Work on that, and the teasing will take care of itself when the loser teasing her realizes he can't get to her.

 

[Cass]

I feel bad for your DD She must really be self conscious and not want to have gym because of her weight.

When they all have to wear shorts etc... she might be so embarrassed especially at this ackward age with boys and girls & puberty.

She was desperate NOT to have gym and went to extreme circumstances to get out of it with the forging of the note. There is way more going on here and I am not sure any punishment is needed because she is obviously going through some bad times in her head.

 

[barkley]

Barkley - yes I have a DS who is 9 and has no fat anywhere and he does some tormenting to DD (he does get reprimanded and if its not stopped early bedtime and loss of TV ) As for the face to face thing knowing her personality it will be the worst when she faces her Dad - she is the ultimate daddy's girl and is more horrifed that he is disappointed in her rather then me . Thanks for answering .
I should say that TV is a biggie in our house - for all of us.. I will start working on that ( however old habits die hard - as a single mom now for 7 years I relied on that when they were younger to keep them busy while I cooked, cleaned ect after work till dinner was ready ) This will be forcing me to step up and take action .
again thanks to everyone who is responding .. Michelle

we must have the same son! while dd's body def. reacts to the foods she eats (and should not eat) ds eats everything and could be a poster child for "save the children"-a month shy of 9, average height and yet to hit 45 pounds! as we tell dd-it will catch up with him-dh and were the same way as kids, and around age 11 the poundage appeared overnite.

please dont bash yourself on the tv issue-dh and i are both in the home and have never made a huge issue over tv watching (that's why it's only first level punishment for us)-as long as the kids were doing what they needed to do, getting fresh air and exercise, we did'nt limit how much they watched during their "free time" (we restrict what they can watch-just not how much during their free choice times). we figured that we and our generation survived watching alot of tv (i personaly was glued to it once it went from black and white to color ) with becoming major psychopaths or dead beats

is'nt it amazing how the same reaction from a different parent can evoke such a different responce in a kid? i know when i was a kid-i was much more concerned if my dad found out about something vs. my mom (not that there was much of a different reaction-just in my house/in those days-dad was the major authority figure).

best wishes in this and future situations.

 

[i heart tinkerbell]

I am 14 years old, yet I feel I should state my opinion.

Being teased, especially at my school, at this age is probably the most horrible thing in the world. You shouldn't of punished your daughter like that. I actually lost weight during that whole process from working out on my OWN. and all the stress got to me. i stopped thinking about it and did something about it. at that time, being the vulnerable self i was, words did not bring my spririts high, so having my parents come in would make it worse, since i figured all the friends of the enemy would be mad at me for getting her into trouble.

I regret the day i didn't goto the guidance conselour's office. my sister said the same thing to me next year and it hurts me to be saying it here, today. that is not right. if that insecure boy seriously thinks he has that right, he will be kidding himself to the end.

please unpunish the poor girl, especially the fact that she's only a 6th grader and has two more years to go. although, tell her, i urge you to tell her it will get better.

adults, teens, and children of all ages go through this. do not put up with it. i think there are situations where not everybody in the office or classroom are going to love each other, viewed by others. we'll change that one day.

We can handle this a whole lot better.

I am a new person , the strongest, and I am now everything that I have always dreamed of being, and everything I never even dreamed anyone could be.

Thanks to just that.

Life.

Love, Chrissy

 

[azgal81]

Middle schoolers are so cruel but then people are going to be even crueler when she grows up. I know when I was in middle school we had gym with the guys. They teased the girls all the time but then the girls were even worse those remarks about each others bodies and at such a young age. They even made us square dance with the guys. Ugh I hated gym. I don't think you should have punished her so much but then I never really got punished by my parents. I think the boy teasing her about her weight made her upset and she didn't want to deal with gym so she did the only thing she could think of to get out of it. But then swimming in 9th grade was even worse then gym. I know I had my mom write me a note like everyday saying I was on my period so I had to do a report in the library instead of swimming. I never had her forge a note though she always wrote it.