6 yr old DS forgets everything!

[tchrchgo]

I am just at my wits end! I just don't know what to do. My six yr old ds has so far spent the entire first quarter of 1 st grade forgetting or losing at least one of everything he owns. He's misplaced his gym shoes, library books, phonics cards, homework folder; he's lost 1 rain slicker, 2 sweaters, and a nice LL bean lunch box. he takes no responsibility at all. when I ask about the losses, he just shrugs and says he doesn't know what happened to the things. he doesn't seem to understand or care about the fact that the lost items are gone. I cannot afford to keep replacing these items.

I have to work for a living, and cannot be there to watch over him all the time to keep track of his items. and by the time I get him from day care the public school is closed so I cannot contact them to try to track things down, and by the next day, it's a lost cause.

has anyone had this problem, and if so, how did you solve it?

Thanks in advance!

 

[mommasita]

I feel for you, I really do.

I have an almost 13 year old son who forgets EVERYTHING. I used to pick up the pieces, but know he is responsible for his own forgetfullness. My daughter is 9, and thankfully does not have this trait.

I think it is inbred in men

I wish I had helpful advice. I have tried and tried and tried over the years, and nothing I did worked.

 

[famofsix]

maybe make him a check list, laminate it and put it on his backpack. If he is not reading well use pictures.

 

[Hillbeans]

My only real advice would be to have some sort of system where everything is returned to it's "home" - a checklist of sorts. Maybe even make up an acronym of sorts so he remembers all the pieces - BLUE = Backpack, Lunchbox, umbrella, earmuffs....you get the idea.

My 7 YO has moments of forgetfulness, however with him he's always been easily motivated by the reward system (say one week bringing everything home equals a small toy he really wants).

 

[Purrrrfecta]

I know exactly how you feel. I also know exactly how he feels!

When you have a child who suffers from disorganization - no matter what the cause is you have to help them become organized.

They MUST have a schedule to that they can adhere. It has to be the same every day.

He has to make them a part of his world. It is hard for him to be aware of these objects because he does not take ownership of them. That is why he just says, "I don't know."

Make a check list for him use a laminated check list. HE HAS TO MAKE SURE IT IS FILLED OUT EVERY DAY! Things that you can put on there include: brushing teeth, taking a bath, laying out clothing, eating breakfast, getting lunch box in the morning, putting shoes away after school etc. You can add anything you think he needs to do everyday that should be listed.
This works because it teaches a disorganized mind how to be organized, and he will learn to make writing lists a part of his life in order to get through the day. This is one of the most effective ways of getting a child to take responsibility.

Have his teacher get involved in the process. Try to see if they can develop a behavorial chart for him at school as well. He can have the same type of check list on this desk that he has to check every day. What is his teacher like? Are they very organized? It would help if they are. Anyway, go to them and tell them you think it is getting in the way of his academic progress, and they will have to help you. I would start with the teacher, and move on to the counselor if you do not get anywhere.

Remember, this is going to have to take some dilligence on your part as well. You have to make sure you are on top of him. You also have to make sure you are not doing the things for him. He will not know he has to take responsibility for them if you do.

 

[Chuck S]

Man this thread brings back bad memories of 3rd grade.

 

[PatsGirl]

My son has always struggled with disorganization and nothing I did helped. To put it in perspective, he had lost all three pair of jeans and a pair of sneakers, multitude of other clothes, his algebra book, his ipod and 20 punch cards he was supposed to sell to raise money for football in the first half of his freshman year

I know many of you out there are thinking, WTH??? I just don't know how to explain it. Even the things he cares about the most he loses. Once he got his license, truck, and wallet it became a little easier -- he left everything in his truck. It looked like he lived in it. He is now in the Air Force. He thrives on structure, discipline, and rules and the military can give him all three, something that college could not. He is excelling so far (Honor Graduate, Thunderbolt Awards, and just passed another extensive set of special force testing).

I can relate and empathize with you. The only words of advice I can give though is to not be too hard on him. I was VERY hard on DS and regret it now. I just couldn't understand how he could continue to lose so many things. It caused alot of stress and negative energy in our household. I'd limit what he has, the less he has the less he can lose or misplace. And try to remember that he isn't doing it on purpose, that he would rather not lose his things.l

 

[tchrchgo]

this AM we found one sweatshirt at the day care, and the bus driver found and returned the lunch box.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Luckily for my DS both the daycare and the school have lost and found boxes.

We managed to find pretty much everything he lost except for a lunch box.

Does your schools have anything like lost and found?

 

[mickeyboat]

DDs have not lost anything in the four years they have been in school. The first thing I do when I come in the door is to check their backpacks. If something is not in there that should be, I ask them right away so they can try to remember where they left it while it is still pretty fresh in their minds.

Next year, maybe even this year, I am going to make a laminated card they can use to do this checking themselves.

I am also impress upon them the importance of taking care of their things. They know they will be in trouble if they lose something. They will also suffer the natural consequences of no longer having that thing.

I also think my kids have a knack for organization and since they are girls, I think it comes a little more naturally for them.

Good luck.

Denae

 

[piglet50]

my ds is 20 and still never returns home with everything he left with. he's always missing a sock, shirt, etc. most of the guys around here are like that.
when he was playing sports, i always had mystery clothes. all of us moms just took things back weekly and the guys picked out their own things. we got things back from his senior trip to the beach one year after he got home.
again, good luck.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Checklist is vital. You have to be aware of an item that has gone missing ASAP. A cubby or "home" for items is important. Check his stuff daily.

If said items are "lost" it becomes a mission to find the items fast. Look in lost and founds, call people, etc....
It is annoying for us and they have to deal with the "work" of trying to hunt down items.

If said items are lost the replacements that are bought are from WalMart, borrowed, old stuff, garage sales, etc...

Finally if you have a kid that doesn't give a hoot you do not buy them anything expensive such as an LL Bean lunchbox, nice shoes, etc...

Generally I do not buy "expensive" and we use old stuff until it breaks or is outgrown, worn out.

That way when something is bought that is "special" they do appreciate it.

Course my dd's are 17 and 12 so took a long while to figure it out.

Find what works for you and then tweak, tweak, tweak. It won't ever go "away".

 

[rwdavis2]

Find a good psychologist and have your son tested for ADHD. Our daughter had the same problems as well as struggling with school work. She forgot everything, had no attention span, the whole nine yards. She was put on a Ritalin patch and she's doing 100% better with everything. We did not set out looking to put her on meds but we had serious concerns that she would never be able function independently away from home.
Bob

 

[LuvDuke]

I am just at my wits end! I just don't know what to do. My six yr old ds has so far spent the entire first quarter of 1 st grade forgetting or losing at least one of everything he owns. He's misplaced his gym shoes, library books, phonics cards, homework folder; he's lost 1 rain slicker, 2 sweaters, and a nice LL bean lunch box. he takes no responsibility at all. when I ask about the losses, he just shrugs and says he doesn't know what happened to the things. he doesn't seem to understand or care about the fact that the lost items are gone. I cannot afford to keep replacing these items.

I have to work for a living, and cannot be there to watch over him all the time to keep track of his items. and by the time I get him from day care the public school is closed so I cannot contact them to try to track things down, and by the next day, it's a lost cause.

has anyone had this problem, and if so, how did you solve it?

Thanks in advance!

Good grief, he's only 6 years old.

 

[rwdavis2]

Good grief, he's only 6 years old.

That's not normal for a 6 yo. Maybe something here and there but not what the OP listed.
Bob

 

[LadyyRedd]

This whole thread sounds like my 29 year old boyfriend!

Kimya