5yo ds, church and the lie!

[Pembo]

A few notes to start: my dh is a UCC Minister, my 5 yo ds is attending a Byzantine Catholic school this year for kindergarten, 5 yo ds keeps asking questions about "that bread" in church


Now on to the story:

This week was Catholic Schools week and today was "Invite a Friend to Divine Liturgy Day". So ds had myself, dh, and his grandparents at Liturgy this morning. The kids got to sit with their families. It was a rather long service because we were celebrating 3 Bishops Day. (I think that's what the priest said).

It comes time for communion. Ds says to me "Can I go?" I said, "do you usually go up with your class?" He tells me yes. He gets up and gets in line. I notice that NO OTHER child in the K-1 class is going up for communion. Then I remember, you have to have your First Communion in the Catholic church to receive communion.

He sweetly takes his "bread soaked in wine" and returns piously to his seat. I realize he LIED to me and I'm not too happy. He keeps looking at me thru the rest of the mass. It ends and I lean in close and say

"You don't usually take communion do you? You lied to me didn't you?" The tears appear and he admits he lies. I gave the mini-hushed lecture about lies and CHURCH! The tears are flowing. My parents are looking at me. I mouth to them that he lied.

I can't believe, no wait, I can believe he did this. Except that last night he told this whopper of a lie and got way busted on it. We had this big talk about lies and lying. Then he goes and LIES in CHURCH!!!

I can only imagine what that school staff is thinking now......the pastor's kid..........

Kids!

btw---I don't want to be a Byzantine Catholic! Lots of incense and chanting. No offense to those who are but wow what a difference!

 

[Kallison]

Kids lie and anybody who says their kid never lies is lying! I could swear my sweet first born always told the truth -- he is in 7th grade. Then a few whoppers he told me and I believed came out recently. Your son really wanted that bread didn't he?!

My DD was about 5 and we went up to the communion rail once (Lutheran) and the Pastor hates noisy kids in church, I mean hates it. Will stop the service dead cold if he hears a peep and glare at you. So DD is whining, I want a snack, I want a snack, I want a SNAAAAAACK. All of a sudden she is quiet. We sit down and she is happily munching away on a chunk of bread. Turns out the Pastor's wife slipped it to her to keep her quiet. So she has alredy unofficially had her first communion too.

 

[mom2grace]

ROTFLOL!!!!

I am Roman Catholic.....I can relate to your son....and I am 33!

My step-mom (I know, Catholics aren't supposed to have step-parents) is non-denominational Christian and they REALLY do things fun for the kids during their services and my DD 2 1/2 sometimes attends with her. Sitting on the altar, eating popcorn, coloring, etc.

Boy, does that ever cause problems at our catholic church, you can imagine! She does not want to sit in the pew, she wants to be up on the altar! Thankfully, our priest loves kids and doesn't mind our leaps down the aisle in attempts to catch her.

In the fall, she will start Sunday School during regular Mass, thank goodness!

Susan

 

[mom2grace]

BTW, I can relate to "the pastor's kid". My masters is in early childhood education, although I try to keep that quiet. DD's teachers are wonderful and they love her, but I know she is a handful in the cutest of ways.

I wish I were a fly on the wall, because I know they don't tell me everything that goes on because I would be so embarrassed. They use the term "ceo". I think that means bossy, leader inciting riots during preschool. Last year she was still an only child and very timid, they say they can't believe she is the same child and I believe them!

One day she tore the head off of a dinosaur poster, then did it again when she went back 2 days later.

DS will start in the fall and so far he is laid-back, quite different from his sister. It will be interesting to see how he interacts.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

lol - I know the feeling.

I have a son that recently started at a Lutheran Elementary school. His 2nd week at the school, his class was slated to sing during services. There I am 15 pews behind him and I see in the bulletin that they are holding Communion. No possible way to get up there and explain to him that it's not like at our church where everybody is invited to participate.

Luckily, the ushers had the situation well in hand and since the kids in that church aren't Confirmed until spring of their 8th Grade year -- they never even went to his pew to direct anybody up to the rail. I could tell by the look on his face though, he felt really left out.

 

[KiminChicago]

DS (7) has always been quite tall for his age, and he has always gone up with us for Communion. He thinks it is great fun to try and trick the servers into giving him Communion. Since we go every week, most of the servers know how old he is and don't give in, but I'm sure there have been a couple of servers who were surprised the first time I took him by the shoulders and moved him aside! They may have thought I was in such a hurry that I couldn't even wait for the poor little kid! It's still a problem when we're on vacation and we're in a different church. I'm so glad that next year he will make his 1st Communion and I won't have to deal with this anymore!

 

[HookedOnDiz]

No doubt that the lie deserves a big-time lecture, but if thats the worst thing your son does it sounds like he is a pretty good kid.

I remember when I was a kid and before I made my first communion, I was just walking up with my mother for communion and the priest handed me a wafer and I ate it before my mother could react... I guess the priest thought I was old enough since I was tall for my age... Man, did my mother let me have it later - maybe for a similar reason that you are upset - she taught 2nd grade at my Catholic school, which meant that it was her class that made their first communion every year and here was her own son chowing down on a communion wafer before he was supposed to be... anyway, we all survived it and I'd like to think I turned out okay

 

[RUDisney]

Just be thankful that you were at a regular Mass and not a wedding or funeral Mass. Boy, are THEY LONG! My uncle, who is BC, always says that when you think it's time to let the poor dead guy rest in peace, everything starts up again with more singing and praying.

Anyway, I think it's a natural thing for kids to want to know what they are missing when they can't go up for Communion. My kids have tried and failed many times. Now, thankfully, they are old enough to leave in the pew while we go up to receive.

What did his teacher have to say to him after this? I figure that even if the teacher didn't notice, some of the other students would have mentioned it out of jealousy or because he was their hero for pulling one over on you.

How long did you take a privilege away as punishment for lying in church?

 

[cati]

All I can think of, is ..... Jesus would have fed him the bread....

 

[Kallison]

Originally posted by Toby'sFriend
lol - I know the feeling.

I have a son that recently started at a Lutheran Elementary school. His 2nd week at the school, his class was slated to sing during services. There I am 15 pews behind him and I see in the bulletin that they are holding Communion. No possible way to get up there and explain to him that it's not like at our church where everybody is invited to participate.

Luckily, the ushers had the situation well in hand and since the kids in that church aren't Confirmed until spring of their 8th Grade year -- they never even went to his pew to direct anybody up to the rail. I could tell by the look on his face though, he felt really left out.

Confirmation is 8th grade but 1st communion is usually 5th grade, sometimes 4th grade. And everybody is invited to participate in Lutheran Church. Any denomination may take communion at the rail. Kids who haven't gotten 1st communion yet will get their heads blessed. Just a clarification.

 

[Kallison]

Originally posted by cati
All I can think of, is ..... Jesus would have fed him the bread....

Too true.

 

[RNMOM]

Pembo, if the worst lie he ever tells is about wanting to take communion, God bless him.

This is so completely normal at this age. And cute. (don't tell him I said that.)

 

[Pembo]

RNMom - It was cute, he knew he was busted!

He is just 5 and I remember his brother was a chronic liar at this age. Ah the joys of parenthood.

And cati--you are so right!

He asked my dh if when you get bread in church do they give jelly with it???!!! Too funny!

 

[Towncrier]

Pembo. Don't fret. As you know, I am a preacher's kid too. Your DS may have lied in church, but I seriously doubt that he's told anyone to "Go to h***". I know I did that at least once during my tenure as a PK.

So things could be a whole lot worse. I think that every parent realizes that you can't control everything that your children say and do. I'm sure that your kids will turn out OK. Perhaps you were able to make your point with your DS by catching him in this lie. Hang in there.

 

[cati]

He asked my dh if when you get bread in church do they give jelly with it???!!! Too funny!


So cute!!!

Pembro, your little one sounds so much like my son. I would not worry about it. My son is now 10 and he has turned out just fine.

 

[Serena]

LOL, that's a story to be passed down the generations.

 

[CRB#33]

5 year olds are feeling their way through what they want and good and bad choices. They will all lie a bit to get what they want.

You can sure take comfort in his reaction! He obviously felt terrible about it and probably about being caught.

I would capitalize on it and tell him Mommy always will find out when he lies!

Still works on my 13 year old! (I think )

 

[Ellester]

We were at a Roman Catholic wedding a few years ago and were sitting with a friend and his 4 year old daughter (who were not church goers at all). When she asked her dad what the people were doing during communion, he foolishly said "they are having a snack". Well, this of course made her pipe up wanting a snack too! I was impressed with his quick thinking when he quickly said "it's spicy, you won't like it". She believed him and settled down, although she did say several times "those kids won't like it either if it's spicy!".

 

[septbride2002]

My question is why did he want to receive communion? Maybe he felt left out, or maybe he wanted to see what the big deal is about. When I was young and actually went to a Catholic Church (I am no non-demoniational) I would join my Mom for Communion and the priest would bless me with a prayer. Do they not do that anymore?

~Amanda

 

[Pembo]

bride-I think ds was just curious about this "snack time" in church. He went up there like he'd done it a million times.