3rd wedding for stepsister, are we obligated?

[letfuller]

Are we obligated to go to my step sister's 3rd wedding? We live in Oregon and she and future husband are planning a wedding in Maui for next year. As appealing as Maui is, it would cost us more money than a trip to WDW without code. Also, is there a site I can go to see what airfare was for last April/May? I could at least see what is a reasonable airfare for this new venture. Right now it is $740 to fly to Maui. OUCH we would have to multiply that by 4, plus lodging, etc... you get my point.

Sorry to vent, but I figured this would be a salve for my soul, as it was soooo useful for my WDW planning. This is someplace I return to daily.. Thanks Disers!


Linda

 

[Breezy_Carol]

No, I don't think you are obligated.

Send your regrets saying that your finances just won't allow it.

 

[Steve H.]

Just go to the Poly for a week and call her from the hotel -- it'll be just like you're there (only better).

 

[holycow]

I wouldn't go either...I'd send her a nice card and plan your trip to WDW...how many weddings is a person obligated to attend anyway! lol

HC

 

[jamsmom]

I agree that you should send a card and explain that finances will not allow. Now, if they are paying for EVERYTHING, you might need to go...but that would have to be food, transportation, beverages, hotel, rental car, EVERYTHING

 

[Kirby]

No, you are not obligated. When a person marries that many times they should not expect anyone to come to their wedding.

My sister-in-law has been married four times now. Her first three were at JP's. The 4th one was actually a bang up job, wedding dress, reception, the works in Chicago. She got her feelings hurt when most of the family did not attend. But she got over it.

Send your regrets saying that your finances just won't allow it.

I agree.

 

[Rajah]

If you could afford it, I'd say go. More because of the location than anything else though. But no, I wouldn't feel obligated for a 3rd wedding, especially being so hard to reach.

 

[zurgswife]

Another no vote here...just nicely send your regrets...

 

[caitycaity]

i don't feel "obligated" to go to very many weddings, but i think this is a little bit harsh:

No, you are not obligated. When a person marries that many times they should not expect anyone to come to their wedding.

 

[lil mermaid]

Originally posted by Kirby
No, you are not obligated. When a person marries that many times they should not expect anyone to come to their wedding.

Wow, that is a little harsh, isn't it?

 

[Evil Princess]

A little harsh, yes.

I do, however, think that the bride is asking for alot after you attended 3 weddings of hers already, gave three gifts...and now shes asking you to join her for a wedding in Maui that you have to pay to get to? (and we're not just talking a tank of gas or a 140 dollar round trip airfare deal). Seriously, I think your stepsister has nerve to ask for that.

 

[holycow]

Evil Princess....under these circumstances I would have to agree...



HC

 

[Micca]

The number of weddings notwithstanding, I think when you select an exotic locale like that you do so with the understanding that not everyone you would like to be there will be able to make it. In fact, I have to question if that is something your DSS considered when planning a wedding for Maui Hmmm....

 

[Kirby]

Wow, that is a little harsh, isn't it?

Not really, you would have to know the details to understand. If she had gotten married here, we would have went to her wedding. But as it was, driving or flying to Chicago would have cost quite a bit for a 4th wedding. Plus taking our kids out of school. The two members of our side of the family that did attend fly for free or they probably wouldn't have attended either.

Maybe I was a little too blunt and should have used better words but the feeling is still the same. And it depends on the circumstances too.

No one should feel obligated to go a wedding whether it is the 1st or the 10th.

And if someone is getting married somewhere where it puts their family in a financial bind to attend, then they should not expect them to attend.

 

[LaGaviota]

Having contemplated and talked about having a wedding in Kauai, she probably isn't expecting alot of people to show. This is my second wedding and even my own mother told me that she didn't feel obligated to come since she had seen me get married the first time.

So I don't think you're obligated to go at all! I think it was nice of her to invite you though. I'm now eloping in a week and I only invited a few close people to come. (Even my dad doesn't know yet!)

 

[SoonerKate]

You're not obligated to go to any third wedding, even your stepsister's. If I were you, I'd send a note of congratulations to the couple on nice stationery with your regrets and let that be the end of it.

 

[TIdoublegaER]

I think by the time you get to #3, you need to just go get married. Although if you had the money, it would be a great excuse to go to Hawaii - regardless if you actually went to the wedding!